Today was the day. Today was graduation. Jihoon was excited. Today he would say goodbye to all those studious days, all those headaches because of stress.

Jihoon sat on one of the chairs in the grass waiting for his name to be called up. They were under the sweltering sun and for once Jihoon thanked the heavens that having a cap and gown was necessary. The cap was the only thing that was protecting his face from the son.

“Joshua Hong Jisoo,” Jihoon hears the dean call up. A crowd of people cheer Jisoo along. Jihoon can make out Jisoo’s mom out of the crowd. Jihoon along with his other friends Baekho and Aron instantly cheer Jisoo on as well. Jihoon watches as Jisoo chuckles. Jisoo, with his newly dyed rose gold hair, walks across the stage to retrieve his diploma and Jihoon smiles at him encouragingly.

And once Jisoo sits down, Jihoon hears it.

“Lee Jihoon.” and he hears a loud cheers come from various places. Of course, during his time at the Universty, Jihoon had made plenty of friends so of course he would hear them all cheer for him, but what really got him was watching as Jisoo’s mom cheered him on just as loudly as she had cheered on Jisoo, her own soon. Jihoon felt a rush of affection for her. She treated him like her own child and he felt truly grateful for that. Jihoon looked over the crowd as he made his way across the stage and he made eye contact with Jisoo who was cheering on loudly along with his both Aron and Baekho. Jisoo gave him a thumbs up and Jihoon smiled and nodded as he received his diploma from the dean of the University.

Today he had reached another milestone in his life: Graduating University. Jihoon would have preferred his friends from back home, his mom who he hasn’t contacted in such a long time to be here too, but as the situation was presented at hand, he couldn’t. He didn’t have a choice, but to go along without them. And so he did.

Hours later the ceremony had come to and end, closing it with a traditional throwing of the caps and Jihoon felt relieved. It was all officially over. Now he and Jisoo were to move on and become business partners and run the open mike cafe.

“Oh look at you both. You’ve grown up so fast,” says Mrs. Hong as both Jihoon and Jisoo walk aroun the crowd, saying their goodbyes to their professors and some friends they know they’ll probably never see again.

“I’ve only been here for four years, Mrs. Hong.”

“Oh shush, son. And how many times have I said to just call me mom,” replied Mrs. Hong as he hugs both Jisoo and Jihoon tightly.

They all head home after the ceremony, Mrs. Hong retreats to her home but not after warning the boys about being too wild.

“Now you behave boys, don’t make a mess. Now you remember after summer ends, this establishment is now yours to run,” she says as he gets emotional.

“Don’t worry mom, we know how much this shop means to you,” says Jisoo as he hugs her tightly.

“Yeah, Mrs. Hong, Jihoon and Josh are really reasonably so if we try anything they’ll knock us in our place,” replies Baekho with a dazzling smile.

“Right,” says Aron sarcastically. Jisoo may be a church boy, but what went on behind closed walls was something that would have his poor mom praying for years. Not to say that Jisoo wasn’t responsible. He was but he had his moments. They all did.

“All right you boys have fun then,” she said as he smiled at them and drove home.

“ALL RIGHT LETS GET THIS STARTED!” of course the moment wouldn’t stay peaceful at all with friends like Aron and Baekho. Within minutes some of their friends had come marching into the cafe, turning the once quite shop into a bustling cafe filled with drinks and music bustling through the walls. For once Jihoon didn’t mind. It was time to get loose a bit.

“Hey Jihoon want a drink?” Jihoon heard someone ask. Jihoon shook his head as he raised his hand to show them that he already had a drink in his hand. As the party when on, Jihoon made small talk with many of the friends he had made over they years in college. Jihoon listened intently as his friends explained their next steps after Uni and before Jihoon knew it he was being dragged to the dance floor. Oh, no this was not happening. Jihoon wasn’t a good dancer.

“Baekho, I can’t dance,” he whined as Baekho payed no mind to him and continued to drag him further through the many bodies that were dancing close together.

“I call bull. Remember in third year when we had to put on a performance for our dance class?” Jihoon nodded.

“If you remember it as clearly as I do, then yes you can dance.” Before he knew it Baekho had latched their hands together. Baekho was not about to let Jihoon leave.

“Come on, you have to have fun at some point. It’s always been school and work with you. Well, now school is over and you don’t work over the summer so no more excuses.”

“You’re lucky you’re my friend,” says Jihoon as Baekho laughs and they begin to dance.

Jihoon allowed himself to get lost in the music as he sung along to some songs he had recognized. “So do you know what you’re going to do for the summer?!” yells Baekho through the loud music.

Oh right. Jihoon hasn’t told them he was going to Korea. Hell, he hasn’t even told Jisoo they were going either.

“Korea,” yell Jihoon back. The dance floor is beginning to get more packed and it’s starting to get a bit too uncomfortable for Jihoon.

“What?!” Baekho didn’t quite catch that.

“KOREA,” he says louder than the first time. The music starts to get a bit slower now and Jihoon spots Jisoo also dancing as well.

“It’s been four years since you came from Korea. Not once have you talked about it. Why are you going now?” asks Baekho and Jihoon shrugs.

“I guess it’s time for me to visit.”

The hours roll by and finally the party ends. Jihoon had fun but he was tired and he just wanted to get to his bed and go to sleep. He wasn’t absolutely smashed but he was a bit tipsy. Jihoon sits down on the curb outside the shop as he watches Jisoo say goodbye to the last of their friends.

“Well, that was fun,” he says as he sits next to Jihoon. It’s a bit cold outside but he doesn’t mind

“And not one picture of you was taken, well a sleeping picture,” continues Jisoo as Jihoon rolls his eyes and smiles.

“It was fun.”

They sit there in a silence for a few seconds before Jihoon speaks up. “Hey, Josh.” Jisoo looks towards Jihoon in a questioning glance.

“Let’s go,” says Jihoon.

“Oh yeah okay. I guess we can clean up later. Let me just lock up the shop before we go” he says but he seems to misunderstand what Jihoon is trying to say.

Jisoo gets up and makes a move to go into the shop, but Jihoon takes a hold of the older males sleeve before he can take a step further. “No, no I don’t mean that. I mean, let’s go. You know, to Korea. Like how we talked about yesterday.”

Jisoo looks down at Jihoon in mild shock. “Really?”

“Yeah, really. Why?” What’s with people and questioning his decision in visiting what used to be his home again.

“You don’t want to go anymore?” asks Jihoon. Jisoo sits down next to Jihoon on the curb.

Jisoo shakes his head quickly. “No no, it’s just you seemed a bit hesitant when we brought it up yesterday. I wasn’t sure whether or not it was a good idea. I mean, you never really talked about it, but I feel like something happened back there that you just can’t let go.”

Jihoon sighs as he looks away from Jisoo and looks around the quiet streets of LA. They lived in what some people considered the ghetto. Downtown LA to be exact. Some buildings were covered in graffiti but not all of it was bad. Jihoon liked to see the murals over on sixth street when he would make the commute to his University because they were absolutely beautful. Of course, there were people you met on the street were a bit questionable. At first, coming here had scared Jihoon out of his wits. Yes there were gangs but he had gotten used to it. It turns out, no one messed with Jisoo’s family because everyone knew them to be good people. Jihoon remembers his first thanksgiving with Jisoo and his mom they had spent their day giving out thanksgiving meals to the homeless and they had made it a tradition to do so for the past four years. Jihoon absolutely loved it.

“Jihoon?” says Jisoo as he brings Jihoon out of his thoughts.

“Uh, what were we talking about?”

“Why you’re choosing to go to Korea now.”

Oh right. That. He supposes it’s time to talk about it.

“Do you remember when I first came here to LA?” asks Jihoon. Jisoo nods.

“It happened shortly after that day-”

“If you don’t want to talk about it it’s ok,” said Jisoo.

“No, you’ve done so much for me that the least I can do is to explain this to you,” Jihoon says as he takes a deep breath.

Jisoo nods. “Ok.”

“Well, if I want to tell you all of it, I guess I’ll have to go beyond that day. When I was in elementary school, I had always been interested in music. I could play so many instruments at such an early age and I fell in love with making melodies and singing. There was this one day in 3^rd. grade and my class was talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up. While everyone said they wanted to be astronauts, police officers, nurses, and what not I said that I wanted to become a composer. That I wanted to write music. I thought that what I wanted to do was cool and meaningful but everyone in my class laughed. Everyone. I felt awful, like I was some sort of joke. A loser. At that time, we had a sort of buddy system with a class that was 2 years older then us. Every third grade class had one older TA from the fifth grade class and ours was this boy named Choi Seungcheol. Well, when everyone was laughing at me for my choice in career, Seungcheol was the only one who backed me up.” Jihoon smiled fondly at the memory. Jihoon could feel himself becoming sober.

“He didn’t make me feel like a complete fool and he scolded everyone else for making fun of me. I remember that during recess, instead of eating with his friends, he had sat on my table and he told me that when he grew up, he wanted to own a record company. He said that maybe one day, we could work together. I was too young to understand what that was, but I knew he was going to grow up to be a successful person. While everyone wanted to be pop stars, actors, and astronauts he wanted to be someone with a more powerful position. Someone who would have power of them. And I knew he would get to it. After that day, we became very close. We were best friends in high school, but it soon turned out to be more then that. I started to develop feelings for him in my freshman year and he did too. So we went out together not knowing if we would make it after graduation, but we did and fell completely in love. We were what everyone called ‘high school sweethearts’ One day, He introduced me to his parents but… but,” Jihoon stopped talking for a few seconds. The painful feelings were coming back.

“Hey, it’s okay. Just breathe” said Jisoo as he held Jihoon’s hand for reassurance.

Jihoon took a few seconds before he continued to speak. “But his parents didn’t approve. I had known his parents well before that. We were best friends after all, so we had gone to each others’ houses quite often, but whenhwe told his parents that he was gay and that we were together, well his parents didn’t take it too well. His father was the worst. He blamed me for ‘turning his son’ as he called it. He called me so many hurtful names, Josh. It ripped me apart completely. I was this disgusting freak who ruined his son. I was this vile being who had turned Seungcheol into a disappointment.” Jihoon let a few tears roll down his cheeks but he willed himself to stop crying. He was completely sober now.

“T-taking into consideration that Korea is very much a conservative country, he told me how I would ruin Seungcheol’s life because people would hate and bash us. I could feel myself breaking, Josh. I-I Could feel it. Seungcheol had always cared about what his father thought about him, but on that day, there he was, arguing with his father about how much he loved me and how much he would stick by my side no matter what. I-I swear that on that day that I could marry him then and there. Before we both knew it, his father had given up and had accepted us and Seungcheol was happy and so was I, but it didn’t stay that way for long. Seungcheol couldn’t see it but his father loathed me. He despised me. I was like dirt to him. I didn’t have the heart to tell Seungcheol because he was so happy that he could be with me.” Jihoon could feel Jisoo’s hand tighten around his.

“But, I was happy too because I really did love him. And Seungcheol was training to take over his father’s legacy, So I endured it. For us. For him. I did my best to turn a blind eye to the hate. And we managed to move in together and we were happy, but his training came to an end and he had to go to a meeting and I was so happy for him that when he left to Japan, I couldn’t wait to see him again. But then, his father, Mr Choi, he had come in and well he told me things I couldn’t deny. Josh, I-I was ruining Seungcheol. I was pulling him back. I would be the reason that he wouldn’t be taken seriously. He needs someone who could give him a family. He needs someone who won’t bring some much controversy into his life.” Jihoon a few deep breaths before he continued.

“And… I didn’t know it, but I was taking advantage of him. He was paying for everything in the house. The rent, food, and even for my university. I always wondered why attending one of the most prestigious Universities in Korea had cost me half of what others had to pay, but after that talk with Mr. Choi I had realized that Seungcheol had been paying for half of the tuition. I was using him! Me! I loved him. I-”

“Jihoon,” Jisoo intervened.

“You weren’t using him. He did this not because you asked but because he wanted t make things easier on you,” Jisoo tried to reason, but Jihoon was having none of it.

“No, you don’t understand. I tried so hard to prove Mr. Choi wrong, but all along I was proving him right. I was a setback. I couldn’t do that to him. I didn’t want him for his money. He could be poor and I would still have been with him. But after all that, that was the last straw for me to believe in what Mr Choi had been saying all along. So I left. I left the day of our anniversary. I packed my things, I left no explanation. I made all my friends swear that they wouldn’t tell him anything. And even if they, did they didn’t know exactly where I was, so it would not have worked out anyway. But I left. I couldn’t stay there anymore, I just couldn’t and with the help of Soonyoung, Hansol and you I left. And four years later, well here I am.” Jihoon wasn’t even trying to hold back the tears now. He tried but the story was too painful for him to hold back.

“But Jihoon, if Seungcheol had did all of that, it was because he lov-”

“No Jisoo. Mr. Choi was right, I was holding him back. Who am I to take away Seungcheol’s life long dream? I’m no one. I couldn’t do that to him.”

Jisoo nodded. He understood where Jihoon was coming from but he couldn’t help but think that this could have been talked about.

“Then why go back?” asked Jisoo.

“Why after all these years, you want to go back. Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?” he asked.

“Well, I just wanted to see everyone one last time. After that, I’m staying here in LA for good. We have a business to run now,” said Jihoon as he looked back at the shop behind him.

“I’m not going to see him. It would make waste of everything that I did or him. But I’m going to see my friends and my mom. Plus, I want to show you around, you’ve never seen Korea so I thought this would be the best chance to do so. After that we’ll come back here and it’ll be a new start.”

Jisoo nodded as he stayed silent for a while. This was quite a lot to take in. “I’m sorry,” said Jisoo as he hugged the younger male.

“All these years I’ve known you, and I never knew you were going through so much pain.” Jihoon smiled a bit and hugged him back.

“It’s ok. But now you know. In a way, talking about is making me feel better” asked Jihoon as he pulled back form the hug.

Jisoo smiled back at Jihoon and ruffled the younger male’s hair. “Ok, let’s do it.” And with that the two boys got up and cleaned up the shop. After they had finished, Jisoo had bid Jihoon goodnight and headed to his bed while Jihoon had gone online and booked two tickets to Korea 2 weeks from now. Jihoon sighed as he looked at the date and headed to bed.

He was going home.