Sorry this update was so slow... school has been killing me TT-TT

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Jihoon wasn’t in class that day.

His desk was neat and bare, a gentle autumn ray of sun lit his desk as if highlighting his absence. It was the first time that Soonyoung knew of that Jihoon had ever missed class, and it was the first time he noticed how empty the day felt without him. He thought he was used to the loneliness, but every time he turned his head to say something, he was met with an unoccupied space and disappointment. He never quite realized it until then how much he depended on Jihoon as a friend, and how accustomed he was to talking to him. It had been the little things between them that slowly but surely built up the bonds of their relationship, and it was only that he was looking back now that he understood how sky high their tower of trust came to be. Just when he thought he would be okay with living life alone, he was proven wrong.

He hadn’t felt such a sorrow from being by himself since he could last remember. He felt so empty, not knowing until now how much of a space Jihoon occupied in his life. He couldn’t think of what had been in that space before Jihoon had entered his life. Since when was being alone so… lonely?

Soonyoung put his head down using his arms as a pillow, choosing not to listen to the lecture. It was the same topic that they went over last week, and he didn’t understand why they had to go over it again. It seemed like a waste of time, just like the rest of school. What was he even doing there? What was he hoping to gain by staying in school?

Before he knew it, he was being shaken lightly on the shoulder by someone trying to wake him up.

He opened his eyes, and in front of him was Seokmin leaning down with his brows raised in curiosity.

“Are you okay?”

Soonyoung sat up, a part of him surprised seeing Seokmin there, and a part of him feeling relieved that he was no longer by himself. Somehow it seemed like Seokmin knew Soonyoung needed someone, and came without him even having to ask. Maybe that was silly wishful thinking, but maybe it wasn’t.

“Do you want to sit?” Soonyoung asked, avoiding the question, pointing to Jihoon’s empty desk.

“I just came here with a message from Jisoo,” Seokmin reached over to softly Soonyoung’s hair, the blond closing his eyes in response. “But I’ll stay if you want me to.”

“What if I don’t want you to?”

“But you want me to, don’t you?”

Soonyoung leaned into Seokmin’s touch, wondering how his fingers not only looked pretty, but felt pretty. Was it just because Seokmin had a pretty heart that everything about him was pretty?

“Stay,” he opened his eyes to look up at him. “I want you to stay.”

He was answered with a smile that made him forget the loneliness he harbored just a few moments before.

“Okay.”

The brunette pulled up Jihoon’s chair to sit beside Soonyoung, who chose to put his head down again, only this time facing Seokmin.

Soonyoung held out his hand, which Seokmin easily accepted.

“You said you came to deliver a message?”

Their connected hands swung loosely between them.

“Oh, right! Jisoo, he’s the club president in case you forgot, he said to remind you about cleaning duties this afternoon.”

With everything that happened with Jihoon before, the club cleaning duties slipped his mind, as did Soonyoung ever joining the club in the first place.

“Ah…”

Seokmin chuckled. “He said it isn’t too late to change your mind about helping out, since you were kind of caught up in their mess.”

“No, I still want to help. I just forgot…”

Seokmin linked their fingers together and began Soonyoung’s outer thumb.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Then he also told me to tell you that we’re going to clean in two teams of two and one team of three, since there’s seven of us in total. We’ll rotate members in the team so you’ll get a chance to work with all of us. He thought it would be a good way for you to get to know each member of the club.”

“Each member? I’m going to be alone with all of you?”

Seokmin’s grip on Soonyoung’s hand tightened as his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly.

“Is that okay with you? I mean, I guess it might be awkward if you don’t know anyone. Should I ask him to change it? Should we do teams of three and four? I don’t think he will mind if I tell him it might be too uncomfortable. I mean, you’re kind of complete strangers with some of us, right? I can see why it could be uncomfortable. I don’t think it would be a problem to change the group numbers.”

Soonyoung smiled, finding Seokmin’s overprotectiveness endearing.

“No, I guess it’s a good idea to get to know them, right? Tell Jisoo it’s fine. No need to change things just for me.”

“... Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“If you say so. Then today you’re a team with Jisoo.”

“Okay.”

Soonyoung raised his head, deciding to rest his chin on his palm. He watched Seokmin watch him with concern. It reminded him of the look his father used to have when Soonyoung tripped over something. It was an expression that meant he was cared for. An expression he couldn’t remember seeing for more years than he cared to remember.

“What are you thinking about?” asked Seokmin, breaking the momentary silence between them.

“Hmm… that I want to hear you sing again.”

Seokmin seemed surprised and pleased at the same time. He hummed in thought, as if he was contemplating on whether or not to grant Soonyoung’s request, though it was obvious what his answer would be.

“I’ll sing for you again. Anytime.”

Soonyoung liked the sound of it. The sound of promise of ‘anytime’.

“Can I hear it later today, then? After school?”

“Alright,” Seokmin replied with a low voice. He leaned in closer. “I’ll sing just for you.”

The blond looked away for a brief second, almost overwhelmed by his accelerating heartbeat. He glanced back when at least his mind calmed down.

“I want to know, what are you thinking about?”

“Oh, nothing. Just that I feel really happy right now being here with you.”

“Aren’t you always happy?”

“Is that what it seems like?” Seokmin covered his smile with the back of his hand. “Maybe I’m just always happy around you?”

“But you had no reason to be in the beginning.”

“I di- I want to kiss your hand right now.”

“You want to… what? Why all of a sudden? And besides, why are you hesitating? Wouldn’t you normally just go for it?”

“Are you giving me permission?”

Soonyoung put a hand to the back of his neck, not quite massaging it. He lowered his voice.

“Well, not… here… in this classroom…”

“Then if we’re alone, you’d let me?”

“If you want to do it, do it. You don’t have to ask every time.”

Seokmin looked around the classroom before dipping his head to kiss the hand he was holding. Soonyoung pulled away in embarrassment, but he didn’t let go of Seokmin.

“Seokmin,” he whined, in a voice louder than he would normally output. He peeked over to make sure he didn’t divert anyone’s attention. While most of his classmates were occupied with their own thing, Soonyoung made eye contact with Wonwoo. The blond broke the contact immediately, slightly puzzled as to why Wonwoo was there in the classroom when he normally wasn’t during lunch time. He then looked back to see other members of the club with him. They were the two first years that were bickering near the broken window after the club incident.

“Hey Seokmin. I know Wonwoo, but who are the other two over there?”

“Hmm? Did we never do introductions? Oh I guess we all kind of forgot about it after all that chaos. That’s okay, you can get to know about them now. So Wonwoo, yeah you know him. The really tall one who kind of looks like he’s bothering Wonwoo? That’s Kim Mingyu. Those two have known each other for a long time, and they practically never leave each other’s side. And then the one just sitting besides Wonwoo, just writing something in his journal, that’s Wen Junhui. He’s a transfer student from China, and he’s actually a year older than the rest of us first years. He moved here suddenly because of complications back in China, so during the entire first year he was here, he had to learn Korean. That’s why he’s in my year instead of yours. He lives with Wonwoo, so the three of them got to know each other pretty well. They’re all really close now.”

“I guess Junhui went through a lot. It must have been hard to suddenly move to a foreign country.”

“Right?”

“But how do you know so much? Didn’t you just join the club this year? School barely just started.”

“Junhui and I sat next to each other during summer class. I don’t think either Wonwoo or Mingyu had to take summer classes, but they always waited for him outside the school entrance. I got curious and asked Junhui about it, and then we became friends.”

“And then you became…” Soonyoung let out a baffled huff of air. “You make it sound so easy.”

“It is easy. You like someone and they like you, and then you start talking, and then you’re friends.”

“But you didn’t start talking to me because you liked me.”

“That’s…”

“How did we become friends, Seokmin? Why did we become friends?”

The bell interrupted any reply Seokmin was about to give, leaving Soonyoung feeling unsettled with the unanswered question. The first year darted out of the class in panic, probably in fear of being late and hopefully not from wanting to avoid Soonyoung’s question. Soonyoung’s fingers started to feel empty as Seokmin’s warmth faded away. He touched the hand with his other, his cool fingertips unable to mimic the warmth of Seokmin’s. He wondered if all cold-hearted people had such frosty fingers like his. If they did, it would be easy to tell apart the evils of the world.

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Soonyoung always thought he knew just how dirty the men’s restrooms were, having using them for a whole school year and counting. He thought he was familiar with the slight scent of rust and the occasional scent of mold, but he was wrong. He thought that cleaning wouldn’t take long, but upon closer inspection, he realized just why Mr. Choi had told the club to clean the bathrooms for two weeks. They were most definitely in dire need of cleaning.

Coming to his designated bathroom after class, he walked in to see Jisoo already scrubbing the grout in between the tiles with a toothbrush. Soonyoung put down the cleaning supplies he carried there, an echo bouncing against the walls.

Jisoo looked up, smiling at his cleaning partner, and holding out a triumphant fist in encouragement.

“Day one of cleaning. We can do this.”

Soonyoung and Jisoo were a team that day, tackling on the upstairs bathroom closest to the cafeteria, probably the filthiest of the bathrooms. When Soonyoung asked why he had chosen this bathroom for his first to clean, Jisoo told him it was so the others wouldn’t have to suffer as much. When Soonyoung asked why he chose this despite not being the cause of the broken window, Jisoo told him that it was his duty as the oldest to take responsibility for anything he could have prevented, which included mistakes made by his juniors.

It was admirably heroic, but almost idiotic.

After a long time of silent cleaning, Jisoo spoke.

“Hey, thanks again for helping us out. You really didn’t have to.”

Jisoo must have been uncomfortable with the silence if that was what he spoke up to say. Soonyoung paused to wipe the sweat already forming along his forehead.

“I wanted to.”

Jisoo chuckled. “Oh yeah, it’s fun scrubbing mold from bathrooms walls, huh?”

Soonyoung smiled slightly, but then continued with his task of mopping the floor.

“I figured from earlier, but I guess you don’t talk much?”

“Sorry. I guess you like conversation?”

“No, don’t be sorry. Everyone’s different. If I ever make you uncomfortable with my chatting, feel free to let me know, okay?”

“Thanks.”

Jisoo’s motions stopped, and so did the light scratchy swishing sounds that accompanied it. He took a deep breath as he faced Soonyoung.

“... Can I ask you something though?”

“Sure.”

“How long have you known Seokmin? You seem close to him… kind of. Actually, I can’t really tell. You seem close, but at the same time you don’t? But before you showed up at the drama club room that day, he’s never talked about you before. I’m sure you know this, but Seokmin is a bit of a chatterbox. It would be unusual for him not to talk about someone he’s close with. But you seem to get along with him really well. Unless you told him not to talk about you?”

Soonyoung stopped mopping again and stood up straight. He tilted his head as he thought of how to explain their relationship. He felt less confident in defining it, especially with his unanswered question from earlier that day. He replied with the first thing he could come up with.

“We like each other, so we’re friends.”

Jisoo laughed abruptly, leaving Soonyoung shocked and unsure of what to do.”

“Sorry, that’s just,” he chuckled. “It sounds like something Seokmin would say.”

“I guess it would be.”

Jisoo went back to scrubbing the tiles. “Okay, so maybe we should get to know each other instead of Seokmin, since both of us know him already. So? Is there anything you want to know about me?”

“Um… I don’t know… What’s your favorite color?”

Jisoo dropped the toothbrush in his hand to support himself by leaning over the sink, laughing uncontrollably.

“Favorite…” he laughed some more, holding onto his stomach. “You’re… you’re pretty funny. The other members would love you. But if you want to know, my favorite color is green.”

“Green.”

“Yup, green.”

“...”

“Anything else?”

“Is there anything you want to say about yourself?”

Jisoo bent down to pick up the toothbrush he dropped, rinsing it in water before continuing to scrub the tile again.

“Alright, I’ll just introduce myself then. I’m Hong Jisoo, third year, president of the drama club. I joined the club during my first year because I was shy and I hated it. I became friends with the members who were there at the time, and I started getting more comfortable with myself. I’m a lot more outgoing now, and I’ve pretty much stopped caring about what other people think. Well, that’s not completely true, I do care what people think, but not about the smaller things, like if my shoes clash with my outfit or something. I still want to be a good student, but I want to have fun too.”

“And drama club is fun?”

“It’s really fun! It’s a great way to meet people who won’t judge you for anything. We’re all really friendly, all six of us. I hope you can consider us your friends. I think it would be nice if that happens. Don’t you think?”

“I don’t need a lot of people in my life.”

“I’m not saying that you do, but I’m sure you would at least enjoy the club more if you opened up to all of us. You don’t need a lot of friends, but everyone needs people in their lives. Even those who are always alone never really want to be alone. You know, I think people are what makes life really nice. The different relationships you have with different people means you can have fun in a lot of different ways. I think you should always treasure the people in your life, because they really enrich what the world has to offer by itself. I’m not trying to be all philosophical or anything, but… it’s good to have friends. That’s all I’m trying to say.”

“I…”

“Sorry, I was supposed to talking about myself, but I guess I got off-topic. I kind of want to know about you, though. You seem to be the kind of person who keeps everything to himself, so maybe I’m trying to make you talk more, just so you have someone to share some things with. Am I right? That you don’t share a whole lot of things with other people?”

“Well… you’re not wrong...”

Jisoo decided to give up scrubbing the walls with a toothbrush, concluding that he would never finish cleaning if he worked in such detail. He opted instead for a sponge soaked in strongly scented cleaning products. He looked at the wall, as large as it was, before switching his target to the sinks. They were much faster to clean.

“I don’t want to force you to tell me anything, but maybe you should tell someone about things that bother you? If you bottle everything up inside, you’re going to fall apart one day.”

Soonyoung dipped his mop back into the bucket to gather more soapy water before resuming his task of cleaning the floor, half-heartedly scrubbing at the small black splotches of mysteriously sticky residue.

“That’s fine by me,” he muttered.

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Gah I hope the next update will come sooner than this one did DX