And back to the past

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“What’s your favorite color?”

Soonyoung and Seokmin were sitting in the hallway against the wall, just outside of the drama club room. Soonyoung hadn’t yet committed to joining, but still wanted to talk to Seokmin, so the younger suggested talking in the hallway. Soonyoung sat with his arms wrapped around his legs, and used his knees as a chin rest. Seokmin sat with his legs spread on the floor. The distance between them was short, but enough of a distance so that neither touched the other. Soonyoung didn’t have much to offer in terms of conversation, so Seokmin started asking him random questions to fill the silent air.

“I don’t know. I don’t have one. I don’t get why one color would be better than another. They’re all the same to me.”

“Oh… Then what’s your favorite food?”

“If it’s edible, I’ll eat it. I’m not that picky of an eater.”

“Do you have any fun hobbies?”

“Hobbies? Not anymore. I used to do Taekwondo though.”

“Oh really? That’s cool. I tried boxing once, but I quit after three lessons. It was a lot more work than I thought.”

Soonyoung looked at him incredulously and then let out a snicker. “Somehow, that seems really like you.”

Seokmin stopped asking questions, and Soonyoung wondered if he ran out of things to ask. The blond looked up at him, only to find that Seokmin was looking fondly at him. He wasn’t sure what he had said to make Seokmin look so pleased.

“W-what is it?”

“You know, that’s the second time I’ve seen you smile.”

At the unexpected response, Soonyoung looked at the ground immediately, suddenly self-conscious of himself. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to smile in front of Seokmin, but he didn’t expected the boy to be counting the instances in which he had. He buried his face in his knees when he felt the blood rising to his cheeks. It seems that Seokmin had a talent in making him blush.

“Sorry,” the brunette said a little too loudly. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” The response was stifled because Soonyoung spoke into his knees. “You’re just kind of really forward.”

“Oh sorry. Does it bother you? Should I stop?”

The blond tilted his head slightly so that he could see Seokmin through one eye. Seokmin was staring right at him, his brows raised in inquiry and concern. Soonyoung kept his head tilted, but looked away.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“If it bothers you, I can stop.”

Soonyoung placed a hand on his head, combing through his coarse hair.

“No, don’t stop…” His hand ceased its movement, but his fingers twiddled on a lock on his forehead. “I think I like it…”

There was a momentary silence.

“Oh my god…”

“Hmm?” Soonyoung looked back at Seokmin, who also brought his knees to his chest.

“You’re really cute, you know that?”

The blond hid his face in his knees again and mumbled, “I’m not.” He could feel his ears starting to heat up as well.

“You are.”

“Let’s talk about something else.”

“Something else? Hmm… Oh, I know! How many people are in your family?”

The question cooled Soonyoung down, and he was able to lift his head again.

“Two. Just me and my dad.”

Soonyoung’s answer resulted in Seokmin looking terribly shocked and regretful.

“Oh, I… I didn’t mean to… Sorry for asking.”

“There’s nothing wrong with asking. It’s been that way for as long as I remember. My dad told me that my mom left a long time ago, so I don’t really care much for her.”

“So then are you close with your dad?”

A pause.

“... I’m not sure. He’s not around much.”

Another pause. Soonyoung glanced at Seokmin once again and saw the boy looking regretful.

“I’m sorry, I feel like I’m invading your personal life. It’s uncomfortable, right? Am I being nosey? I am, aren’t I? I should stop, you don’t have to answer anymore. I’m stupid. Let’s talk about something else, okay?”

Soonyoung wasn’t sure what else to talk about. He wasn’t much of a conversation starter, and it wasn’t that he minded being asked questions. At least, not ones as innocent as these. He cast his eyes downward to think of what to say, but Seokmin started to panic. The brunette must have thought he said something wrong. He scooted closer and waved his arms around in startled confusion to try to apologize somehow, not knowing where to start. They were quite close in proximity now, Soonyoung noticed, but that wasn’t much of a problem. The problem was that Soonyoung made him feel guilty when there was no real reason for him to feel that way.

“Did you want to talk about your dad? We can talk about him if you want. Don’t mind me, talk about what you want to talk about. You don’t have to listen to anything I say.”

Though Seokmin has misinterpreted Soonyoung’s actions, the blond decided to continue with the conversation. He hadn’t thought of another topic of conversation, anyways.

“What should I say? Should I talk about his job? He’s an ambassador. Of Japan.”

As Soonyoung froze when he realized that he shared information about himself that he hadn’t shared with anyone before, Seokmin widened his eyes, equally surprised. The next words came out as a stutter from his shock.

“A-ambassador? Doesn’t that mean he’s… r-really important?”

Soonyoung shrugged. He didn’t bother interfering with his father’s occupation. It wasn’t like his father would be happy with the world knowing that he had a no-good son. But whose fault was it that he became so rotten? Soonyoung grimaced bitterly, and Seokmin seemed to take notice.

“Okay, maybe this isn’t working as well as I thought? How about this. You ask questions about me, hmm? Ask anything you want.”

Soonyoung was brought out of his unpleasant thoughts quickly. He was slightly surprised at how Seokmin’s voice replaced the negativity with curiosity. It was a strange feeling, to want to know more about a person, but at the same time, he didn’t know what he wanted to know in particular.

“Anything? Uh… I don’t know…” He could only think of the most basic question. “What’s your favorite color?”

A smile formed on Seokmin’s face.

“I like them all! All colors are nice, so I could never choose between them.”

“How about your favorite food?”

The smile grew wider.

“There’s too many to choose from! I like everything really. Rice, soup, pasta, bread, meat, all kinds of things. Sorry for not giving you specifics. Are my answers boring?”

“No, they’re… interesting. More than mine anyway. What are your hobbies?”

Though Soonyoung didn’t think Seokmin’s smile could get any wider, it did. He was so cheerful that even Soonyoung could feel his heart lighten.

“Oh, that’s one I can answer more definitely. I like to sing!”

“You like to sing?”

He remembered the events from the other day, where Seokmin held him and hummed. He could only vaguely remember what it sounded like though.

“Yeah, do you want to hear?”

Soonyoung looked around for any people, but seeing that there was no visible person around, he turned back to Seokmin.

“Right now? In this hallway?”

“Yeah! It’s not like we’re going to disturb anyone.”

Soonyoung tilted his head.

“Then, just for a little bit.”

“Any requests?”

“I don’t know. Anything you want?”

“Hmm… Okay.”

The brunette then cleared his throat. He straightened his back and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and placed his hand on his chest.  And then, a soft, mellow voice came out. Soonyoung recognized the song as Mono Drama by Huh Gak. Seokmin’s voice was gentle and sweet, reminding him of the delicate flowers he received. Soonyoung closed his eyes, concentrating on listening to the music that flowed like a soft spring breeze. He felt his head drooping in the brunette’s direction, but he didn’t stop the motion from happening. Slowly, it descended until his head made contact with Seokmin’s shoulder.

Seokmin stopped singing just before the chorus, and it was around five seconds of silence before Soonyoung opened his eyes. He didn’t move from his position though, since he had gotten really comfortable with Seokmin’s shoulder as a pillow.

“Why did you stop?”

“I thought you wanted sleep, so I thought I would shut up.”

Soonyoung tilted his head to look up at Seokmin.

“You have a really nice voice, though. It wouldn’t be hard to fall asleep to it.”

Seokmin ran his hand down Soonyoung’s arm until he reached his hand, and then gently clasped it. Soonyoung curled his fingers, accepting the gesture. He looked at the two hands, and noticed how pretty Seokmin’s hands were. They were almost elegant. He rubs his thumb against Seokmin’s hand twice, then closed his eyes again.

“I’m going to sleep for a bit, so can you keep singing for me?”

He felt a shift in Seokmin’s shoulder as the boy took a deep breath in, and shortly after, the hall was once again filled with the brunette’s comforting voice. Soonyoung sighed softly as he listened to the beautiful melody. He could feel his own shoulders droop slightly, releasing tension. His grip on Seokmin’s hand loosened, and his sense of time was getting lost. He couldn’t tell how short or long the moment was, but he didn’t care. His breaths became lighter, as did his senses. Seokmin’s voice began to faintly disappear, and before he knew it, Soonyoung’s consciousness was drifting away.

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Soonyoung found himself in a dark room. He looked around, straining his eyes from the dim lighting. The room seemed familiar, but he couldn’t exactly tell where he was. He walked to the wall to try to find a lightswitch, but the journey to the wall took longer than he expected. Why was every step so tiring?

He looked down at his legs. They were much smaller than he expected. Of course they weren’t that long, he was barely even a toddler. He looked at the wall. Why was he searching for a light switch? There was no way he would be able to reach it. But what was he to do when the room was so uncomfortably dark?

From the corner of his eye, he saw a sliver of light. It was light coming from the other side of the door. There were angry voices on the other side. Familiar voices. His parents’ voices. It made sense. This was his house, and he was in his room. But why were they angry? Were they arguing about something?

He walked to the source of light and placed his small hands on the edge of the door. He noticed his hands were shaking. He was scared. Why wouldn’t he be? His parents were fighting. With all the courage he could muster, he cracked the door wide enough for him to go through it. For a moment, the sudden change in brightness blinded young Soonyoung, and he had to cover his face. The voices became even louder, and when Soonyoung removed his hands from his face, he saw his dad harshly gripping the wrist of some woman. Wait, that was his mother. He was hurting his mother. Soonyoung had to stop him.

Soonyoung tried to walk over to his mother to defend her, but before he reached her, she started screaming. He looked up and saw her terrified expression, even though he couldn’t quite make out the details of her face. He looked over to his father, which seemed to be the cause of her fright. He was holding a decorative ceramic vase. No, he was throwing it. He aimed for his mother, but it hit the floor beside her. As the vase hit the floor, shards flew in all directions. They flew in Soonyoung’s direction. They were going to hit him. He couldn’t dodge them quickly enough. They were going to-

Crash!

Soonyoung’s eyes fluttered open as he jerked his head upright at the loud sound. He quickly looked around and found himself in a bright hallway and remembered that he was still in school. Seokmin was beside him, wide-eyed and confused. There was the sound of boys arguing behind the door to the drama room. One particularly loud voice Soonyoung could easily recognize as Seungkwan’s.

“I think that came from the drama room,” said Seokmin hesitantly, “Maybe we should check up on the boys?”

“The boys? The drama club members?”

Seokmin put his hands on his knees to heave himself up from the floor, then patted his pants of dust. He stepped in front of Soonyoung and offered a hand to help him up. Soonyoung accepted his hand, and once they were both standing, they approached the door. Seokmin was the one to open it, but cautiously. He stepped in and Soonyoung followed behind until Seokmin abruptly stopped.

Soonyoung looked into the room over the brunette’s shoulder and saw a scene that told him that the noise definitely came from there. First, there was Seungkwan, who he had already met, on his knees and hands pressed together as if in prayer. His expression showed fear and desperation. The boy he was kneeling to? A rather gentle looking student. A third-year, based on his baby blue tie. His hair was neat and perfect, and his eyes showed no hint of anger. He was kneeling in front of Seungkwan, trying to calm him down. His lips were moving, indicating that he was saying something, but Soonyoung wasn’t able to hear his voice because there were two boys squabbling loudly next to a broken window. It seems the window was the cause of their worries, and was presumably the source of the crashing noise earlier.

One of them was quite tall and had tan skin that looked quite loved by the sun. Soonyoung wondered what year he was in, and then noticed the dusty silver tie he was wearing. He was a first year. If it weren’t for his current behavior or his tie, he could have easily been mistaken for a third year. His hair nicely framed his face in a clean swoop, even when he ran his fingers through it in anxiety. The other boy wasn’t nearly so tall, but his height was enviable as well. Another first year, based on his tie. He bickered quite speedily, but there was something a bit awkward about his speech. He was loud enough for Soonyoung to detect an accent, but not loud enough for him to be able to make out what kind of accent it was. For sure, he wasn’t from Seoul.

Upon closer inspection, Soonyoung noticed that the boys weren’t in a heated argument, but they were in a heated panic. They were both rambling loudly, likely not listening to the other, but their body language made it seem as though they were. From the rapid and loud utterances, Soonyoung could make out a “what do we do?” and a “how do we fix this?” and a “we’re so stupid.”

There was one last member who seemed distant from it all. He was sitting on top of a desk, seemingly minding his own business, reading a book. There was a subtle frown on his face, but it was definitely there. His eyes seemed less than friendly, almost glaring at the pages in his book. Soonyoung recognized him. He was Jeon Wonwoo from his own class. The blond would never have guessed that Wonwoo would have joined the drama club, but at the same time, he never cared much to notice him. The only thing he knew about Wonwoo was that he was never in homeroom during lunch break. Soon after the teacher dismissed them, he left. So did others, in order to buy food from the cafeteria, but Wonwoo was the only one who never came back until the next period was about to begin. Soonyoung occasionally heard students talk about how mysterious he was. Others said he was pretentious because he didn’t want to bother with the students in homeroom. From what Soonyoung was looking at now, none of their assumptions seemed far off. Then again, he was probably making an assumption too.

Suddenly, the door slammed wide open, and Soonyoung snapped his body around in surprise. At the entrance was a stern-looking male teacher, wearing a horrified expression. He looked at the broken glass, then panned the room to look at each student.

“Which one of you did it?”

Soonyoung could hear Seungkwan whimpering behind him, but before he had a chance to confess, assuming he was the culprit, the gentle-looking boy spoke first.

“I’m sorry Mr. Choi. It wasn’t just one person. It was all of us. We will all take responsibility. Whatever punishment you decide to give us, we will take it. Just please don’t take our drama club away.”

The boy walked to the teacher and bowed deeply, then held his position there. The teacher’s emotions visibly simmered down with a sigh.

“Well, if you say so. I know you’re a good student, Jisoo, so I know you didn’t mean it… But I can’t let you off, since you did damage school property.”

“Then-”

“I’ll see what I can do about the club. I don’t think this is so bad that I have to shut it down. The sports clubs damage stuff all the time, and they’re still running. As for your punishment, I guess I’ll just have you all clean all the boy’s bathrooms after school for two weeks. Starting tomorrow.”

His last sentence elicited small chorus of groans from the members of the club.

“If I hear any complaints, I’ll make it three,” Mr. Choi warned.

With that, the members grumbled slightly, but silently enough that the teacher ignored it.

“I want those bathrooms spotless, you hear me?”

Unenthusiastic and unsynchronised voices filled the room of ‘yes, sir’.

“Go on home for today. I’ll fill out the paperwork to replace the window. By the time you’re done with your punishment, the window should be fixed, and then you should be able to meet here for drama club again. Until then, no club meetings.”

Another collective ‘yes, sir’.

Mr. Choi nodded once, then left the members of the drama club to themselves. Soonyoung had been too shocked to think before, but now that the teacher was gone, he remembered that he wasn’t a part of the club. Seokmin was, but he had been sitting outside with him, so he couldn’t have been at fault.

“Did that… apply to us too?” he asked no one in particular.

Then, Jisoo quickly turned to him wide-eyed. Then to Seokmin, Then back to Soonyoung.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you two came in! I don’t think Mr. Choi is too far, I’ll catch up to him and tell him that you weren’t a part of it. I’m so sorry, really. I’ll be right ba-”

“No, wait.”

“Hmm?”

“Um, it’s fine. For me at least. I’ll help you guys.”

Jisoo’s eyes watered slightly as he revealed a gentle smile.

“Really? Are you sure?”

Soonyoung looked away, unable to speak so directly to him. Especially not when he was watching with such expectant eyes.

“Yeah, I have a lot of time on my hands.”

“I’ll help too!” Seokmin chimed. “If it means spending time with Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung glanced at Seokmin, who was smiling ever so radiantly. He felt his heart rate accelerate slightly. He wondered if he would ever get used to Seokmin’s straightforward statements.

“Thanks guys, that really means a lot. I guess that means we’ll start seeing each other a lot starting tomorrow, right?”

“Of course!” replied Seokmin.

“Yeah, I guess so,” muttered Soonyoung.

“Oh, I should introduce myself. I’m Hong Jisoo, president of the drama club.” The president directed his attention to Soonyoung. “And you are?”

“Kwon Soonyoung.”

“So, you’re friends with our Seokmin? Did you want to join the club? Is that why you’re here? I have membership papers somewhere… I can go find them if you want. Should I go get them?”

Soonyoung browsed over the room, looking over each member in the room. None of them looked directly at him with the exception of Jisoo and Seokmin, but he could feel the attention of them all on him. A still silence loomed over the room as Soonyoung considered his options. He looked up at Seokmin, who looked most anxious of them all, and somehow didn’t want to disappoint him.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t considered it before.

“Yeah, I think I would like that,” he finally replied.