There comes a time in our life when things get divided into before and after, a moment where the rest of our lives pivot. This is mine.

It’s been a year of following her father’s rules and stealing heaven. We’d both be graduating soon and I could hardly wait. We celebrated early with a picnic at the park where we first met. I was asking her what she meant when she said she saw her future too but she wouldn’t say. I didn’t push her. I already saw mine. But then it rained, which ruined our picnic and we had to hurry.

I remember coming in from the rain at my house which was actually nearer than hers. We were both soaking wet and shivering, running from the rain with no umbrellas. I led her to my room to change. She was in the bathroom changing into one of my baggy shirts and shorts as I also changed into some shirt and pants. I placed her clothes in the drier so she could wear them again later.

I went back to my room and saw her sitting on my bed wearing my shirt, no shorts?  and holding my guitar. She was trying to strum a few lines and sing to it but she was doing it unsuccessfully.

Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you’re the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry
 

Cause you're the one for me
And I'm the one for you
You take the both of us
And we're the perfect two
 

I moved towards the bed. “Here, let me help you I said.”

She was startled by my presence but she smiled as I moved towards her. I sat beside her, teaching her how to position her hands and how to strum the guitar in rhythm. I was getting distracted being this close, holding her hand, seeing the white expanse of her legs and thighs, with her smelling of rain and just her being a girl, my girl.

She seemed to have sensed it too.

I gently took the guitar from her and set it aside. I moved closer to her with our lips almost touching, my eyes boring into hers, my arms on her waist and nape pulling her to me.

The first touch of our lips felt electric like a spark. So different from the gentle heaven I’ve known. Then the spark became fire driving us closer together, feeding from the hunger that was burning inside me.

We fell into the bed, twisted on each other, our desire seeping and fanning the flames into a blaze that’s threatening to spiral out of our control.

She looked at me and beyond the haze in her eyes, I realized what she wanted. Not making love or bringing her fulfillment or any of the stuff that happens when you engage in .

Just me.

And I wanted her too, not just physically. But all of her to be mine.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

I remember the rain as it fell that day. Huge drops splattering the earth. I could hear each drop fall much like the beating of my heart. I remember feeling cold then warm then on fire. I remember how her hair smelled like rain and of girl. I remember the taste of desire, sweet and spicy on my lips. I remember soft skin, silky hair and gentle caresses on my fingertips. I remember brown eyes staring at me with understanding and arms enclosing me in a tight embrace.  And after, I remember hearing the wind outside humming a lullaby.

I could not remember a time before her only now and the time after.