The war against his own heart continues.

But amidst that war, Andy has his own things to do, a life he has to live. He has work to occupy him, his past-times to keep him busy. He doesn’t have all the time in the world to think about Hyesung and what it means to feel that way whenever he’s near. He’s never appreciated having work to do so much as he is now.

His phone rings on his desk, while he’s busy filing through a stack of paperwork, and his heart nearly stops. He berates himself a second later, though, because it’s shameful for a man at his age to be so jumpy with every ringing phone like a schoolboy with a crush.

So he gathers himself the best he could and answers his phone with barely a glance at the caller ID. “Hello?”

“Hey, Andy, you free for lunch?”

Some invisible tension flows out of him and he barely suppresses a sigh in relief. It’s just Eric. But amidst it all, he can’t help but feel the slight twinge of disappointment in his heart that it’s not who his heart wants it to be.

“Why do you ask?” Andy smiles even if Eric can’t see it through the phone call. It’s a mischievous one, full of hidden mirth as he taps his fingernails against the surface of his desk, a hand coming up to support his chin. His eyes rest upon the clock in his office, watching the seconds tick by as Eric begins to talk once more.

“Well, hasn’t it been a while since we hung out together?” That much is true. Andy’s been busy either avoiding Hyesung or trying to get closer to Hyesung for the past…few weeks, he believes? Embarrassing as it is to admit that he’s acting like a love-struck schoolboy. “So I got to thinking we can go out and have lunch or something.”

Andy’s eyes trailed to the stack of paperwork waiting for him to sort through. He likes work, sure, but between work and hanging out with friends—he’d choose the latter hands down in any situation.

“That depends,” Andy says, instead, because he likes teasing people all too much, “Are you paying?”

He hears Eric laugh from the other side of the line and he can’t help but smile too. His cheekiness is what makes him endearing, Eric said to him once. Andy takes it as a compliment and decided from then on to be extra cheeky to his beloved Eric hyung.

“Hey, Pilgyo—”

Andy’s smile drops and his blood runs cold.

“—Andy’s asking if we’re going to pay for him.” Another laugh, but this time it flies over Andy’s head. “What? You already paid for him once? Hey, don’t just decide to foist the bill on me—”

Without thinking Andy hangs up. He nearly throws the phone on his desk, but his hands are shaking and his heartbeat is unsteady. Hyesung is with Eric? Of course, that’s normal. Eric is also Hyesung’s friend—Andy’s not the only one in Hyesung’s life. And it dawns to him, so very painfully, that he doesn’t like the thought of Hyesung with someone else. He hates it. He hates it.

And it makes him sick, to be feeling this way. To feel the fire in his heart burn bright because—it’s Eric. Andy loves Eric like a brother and it’s wrong to feel this jealousy, this burning jealousy that eats away at his mind and heart and leaves him bare.

The phone rings again and Andy takes a second to recompose himself before answering. “Sorry, Eric,” he says, hoping Eric doesn’t hear the stammer in his voice, “Someone was knocking on my office door and I accidentally hung up.”

“Actually, this is Hyesung,” the amused voice that filters through the speaker is definitely not Eric, and Andy can’t help the flush that overtakes his face, “Eric went to the bathroom and asked me to call you.”

Andy takes a moment to check the caller ID, and, sure enough, Hyesung’s name is written on his phone screen in print. Andy berates himself for his mistake before answering Hyesung with a flustered, “Oh, s-sorry I didn’t see the caller ID before I answered. I thought you were Eric.”

“It’s okay Andy, no harm done. So, do you want to come with us for lunch or not?”

“Ah,” Andy says, “Where to?”

“Eric says he’s found this great barbeque place—cheap but tasty, he said.”

“Why me, then?” Andy doesn’t mean to ask that question. But when he realizes that his mouth has moved on its own accord, he’s left a little speechless at his own brazen attitude.

Hyesung takes a while to answer, and Andy’s ready to apologize at this point, but he says with a barely suppressed sigh. “We thought you’d like to hang out with us. I don’t think we’ve ever done anything with just the three of us. But if you’re busy, we’d understand.”

Andy’s fist clenched at ‘we’. ‘We’d’ thought he’d like to hang out with ‘them’. His jealousy flares up once more and he chews his lower lip to prevent himself for saying anything rash. “I never said I was busy,” he says, finally, though with much effort.

“Ah, you didn’t? Then I guess I just assumed wrong. If you’re not busy then do you want to go? It’s still okay if you don’t want to, though.”

Andy pauses, then, his phone pressed against his ear and clenched tight in his hand. For some reason, words leave him, even though he knows what he wants to answer. He wants to say yes. He wants to hang out with Eric and Hyesung. He wants to, and yet he hesitates. He doesn’t know if he can keep his head around Hyesung—he doesn’t want Eric to notice. And he certainly doesn’t want any of them to see the jealousy painted on his face.

“Andy?”

“Yes! Yes, sorry,” Andy says quickly, “I got a bit distracted. I’d love to, go for lunch I mean, um.”

Hyesung laughs at his stammering and Andy’s face flushes with warmth. “That’s great! I’ll tell Eric when he comes back and we’ll text you where we’re going to meet up, okay? I’ll hang up now, see you Andy.”

“Ah, yeah, see you, hyung.”

Hyesung hangs up and Andy finds that he can finally breathe again. Inhaling all that his greedy lungs can take, he puts his phone on his desk and slides down on his chair with a ragged exhale. He doesn’t immediately check the text that comes quickly after, and looks forlornly to the clock in his office. He’s going to need to strengthen his mental fortitude if he wants to survive through lunch.

The rest of the day before lunch passes in a bit of a blur, Andy’s torn between feeling that time didn’t fly fast enough or wasn’t slow enough to his liking. This constant tug-of-war of his emotions persists even as he walks out of the office building to meet up with the two at their designated meeting place.

Andy’s proud to say that he’s able to act normally when they do meet up. He exchanges greetings and laughs at their jokes. He notes that they’re both in their casual attires and has to quickly avert his eyes from Hyesung’s form too intensely. They walk together to the place Eric mentioned (“It has good atmosphere, great service, and even better food. What else can you want?”) with Andy in the middle, Eric to his left and Hyesung to his right.

“So how’s work going, Andy?” Hyesung asks, almost indulgent in his tone, as he draws closer to Andy.

Andy thinks for a while before answering, “Fine. I’m mostly filing a lot of paperwork this past week so it’s been a bit boring.”

“I see.”

They talk like this for a while, with Eric piping in once in a while because Eric’s rather quiet by nature. However, whenever the two talk over his head, Andy has the distinct feeling of being like a child walking with his parents. He expertly hides his scowl with a mask of indifference.

They make it to the place soon enough and Andy finds it’s exactly how Eric describes it to be: good ambiance and friendly service. He’ll judge on the food soon enough, but for now he follows Eric to a secluded booth at the back of the restaurant. Eric and Andy take their seats first, and Andy’s heart thumps when Hyesung takes a seat next to him.

“So,” Hyesung drawls, looking over the menu, “What’s good here?”

“Oh here, let me.”

Andy watches as Hyesung sets his menu down on the table and Eric slightly leans over to point at the items in the menu. He feigns interest in his own menu, but his eyes constantly flicker to where Hyesung sits, brows knitted in concentration as he eyes all the food items Eric is pointing out. Andy swallows the harsh lump in his throat.

“Okay, so I guess you’re having that—What are you having, Andy?”

Andy nearly jolts out of his seat, but manages to catch himself and keep his cool. Both Eric and Hyesung are looking at him with expectant eyes. Andy hides his nervousness with a lopsided smile and a small laugh.

“I really can’t decide,” says Andy, “can you just surprise me?”

Eric’s face brightens and he nods his head. He flags down a waitress and lists off their orders to the smiling waitress. Eric orders juice for both Hyesung and himself and Andy pipes up to say that he just wants some water.

“Water? Are you sure?” Hyesung frowns, “You don’t want anything else?”

“Yeah,” Andy fears he might not be able to stomach anything else with how his insides churns, “I’m sure.”

Hyesung looks at him with doubt for a while, but looks away soon enough when Eric begins demanding his attention. Andy pretends to fiddle around with his phone while Hyesung and Eric begin talking about what they did that morning. Andy’s eyes narrow when Hyesung’s laughter threatens to burst out of him and he hides it by hitting Eric. Eric is indulgent and patient as always, especially with someone as volatile as Hyesung, and it pains Andy to watch.

There’s a reason Ricsyung is popular.

And though Andy knows there’s a difference between the stage and in real life, it doesn’t quell the churning he feels in his gut. Andy clutches his phone tighter in his hand and tries not to look affected by the scene in front of him.

“—Hey, Andy, what do you think?”

Andy snaps to attention when Eric calls out to him, asking him a question. Andy feels a cold drop of sweat roll down the back of his neck when he realizes that he hasn’t been paying attention to their conversation. Andy looks from Eric to Hyesung, both of who were looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

“S-Sorry,” Andy stammers, because it fits the situation and because he can’t hold it back, “I wasn’t paying attention, what were you saying?”

Both of them frown, then. “Are you alright, Andy?” Eric says, concern writ on his face, “You’ve been really out of it today.”

“If you’re not feeling well, you didn’t have to join us,” Hyesung says next, “We’d understand.”

Andy shakes his head quickly. “I’m fine! Really, I am. I’ve just had a bit on my mind today, that’s all.”

He thanks the heavens that both Eric and Hyesung aren’t really the type to pry, so they both settle uneasily back into conversation—but not without sparing Andy a glance. Andy, for his part, tries to concentrate on the conversation instead of the jealousy burning bright in his body, but it’s difficult. It’s so difficult to see Hyesung laugh with someone other than him.

Then, as if to mock him further, his brain reminds him of the words Eric once said to him:

“Well, maybe you don’t know our dearest Hyesungie as well as I do.”

Andy smiles and laughs along with the conversation now, but his hands clench into fists underneath the table.

So this is what it feels like to be jealous.

A/N: Let me tell you, I lost this chapter because I had to reboot my computer and I was so angry that I rage quit lol. Why does it take me two months to make this? Uh, because I'm a lazy dastard and I get sleepy a lot? Anyways, I'll try to update more frequently so this doesn't end up like my other works hahaha...