Today i remembered something that, i forgot that i even knew. I might have depression because of the deep loneliness in my heart from not ever having a partner by my side. But that is no excuse for ever wanting to harm myself. Whenever it is i become a mother, and i’m hugging myself because of the child growing inside of me, i’m never going to want to let it go. Because i know how the world can be cruel and hurtful and i will have the fear of letting my child going out into that world and getting seriously hurt and possible lose his/her life. It would be heartbreaking for me to lose that child in my life, i might not even be able to recover from it. I know i need to live for myself, but right now, i want to live for my mother because i never want her to have to go through losing me, it would be too cruel. I’m no longer going to let the thought of dying come to me again, if it does, i will fight it. This is for anyone who has depression, is in a hard place, or just is hating the reality you live in. Live. For yourself, for your parents, for your friends that have always been there for you, for the grandparents that cherish you entering this world, or even for that elderly women who gave you a hug on a bad day and said it would be alright. Fight, because someone out there will miss you, and will cry if you left this world.

Life isn’t so horrible, you just have to find the good in it.