After the initial shock subsided, and a few web searches to confirm that this disease was, in fact, real, Seungcheol gently held Jeonghan's face in his hands.

“We'll make sure you make it through this somehow, okay? I'm going to make a few calls.”

Jeonghan tries not to blush at the intensity of his gaze, the gentleness of his voice, or the way Seungcheol rubbed his cheek with his thumb briefly before letting go and leaving the room. Little did he know that he was one of the reasons behind this.

“I can't believe you never told me you liked someone!” Seungkwan says suddenly, breaking the tension, and Jeonghan is a little thankful. “I'm your best friend, you know.”

“I've never told anyone.”

“Well, why not?”

Jeonghan opens his mouth, but can't think of an answer. It's silent for a moment before Jisoo speaks up.

“You don't have to tell any of us. But you might want to consider telling him.”

Jeonghan smiles sadly. “I'll consider it.”

The rest of the night passes in a blur. Seungcheol returns to let Jeonghan know that he'll see a doctor the next morning and asks if he wants first dibs on the shower that night. Jeonghan agrees immediately, jumping at the chance to be alone.

He showers in a daze, focusing less on washing up and more on everything that just happened. He cries, again, and has a feeling he'll be losing his fair share of tears in the next couple of weeks. Surgery seems like his only option – as much as he didn't want his feelings for Jisoo and Seungcheol to disappear, there was no way either of them liked him back. Confessing would be pointless, and he'd need the surgery anyway – why not skip the awkward part and just get right to it? It was still hard to believe this was actually happening to him. Hell, he probably still wouldn't believe it years down the line. Remember that time I was in love with two of my pop group members so flowers grew in my lungs?

When he was finished in the bathroom, he walked to his bed. They didn't really have designated sleeping areas in the dorm, but he slept here most nights, and everyone just quietly acknowledged it as his space. As soon as he entered the room he noticed a bucket on the floor next to the head of the bed and wondered who had set it there. Grabbing his phone to check the time, he realized how early it was – the boys would all be awake for another few hours. Usually he would be too, but he just felt drained. He would have to wake up early tomorrow anyway, so he set an alarm, plugged his phone into its charger, and climbed into bed; hoping he wouldn't have a repeat of last night.

To Jeonghan's dismay, he woke up multiple times that night, each time coughing petals up. It was disgusting, he thought, and the sensation made him feel ill. He was suddenly very grateful for whoever put the bucket next to his bed, because it might be needed for more than the flowers.

The third time he woke up, he noticed a bottle of water had been sat next to the bucket. His heart swelled as he reached out for it, and as he sat up to take a drink he thought about all twelve of the members he had come to love. They were almost as scared as he was and they would do anything to make sure he's comfortable and gets better as soon as possible. With that in mind, he lays back down, trying desperately to get as much sleep as possible before his alarm goes off.

He had only waken up once more before his alarm, which he supposed could have been a lot worse. He quickly turned it off in an attempt to keep the other boys in the room from waking, but the coughing fit he had immediately after proved the action useless. He had probably kept the boys up all night, he realized, and briefly wondered if he should sleep elsewhere until this was taken care of. Seungcheol opened the door at that moment, walking in to sit on the edge of Jeonghan's bed.

“You don't look too well,” he whispers, reaching up to gently place his hand on the younger boy's forehead. Grimacing, “You have a fever.”

Jeonghan groans under his breath and sits up to rest his head on Seungcheol's shoulder. The elder runs his fingers through the other boy's long hair for a few moments, and Jeonghan is at least thankful that he can blame the fever for the redness in his face.

Eventually Seungcheol pats his head and stands up. “C'mon, I made you some toast.”

Jeonghan slowly extracts himself from his bed, feeling generally uncomfortable. He's not even sure if he can stomach anything, but since Seungcheol got up to make it for him, he figures he might as well try. Following him into the kitchen, the scent of food hits his nose and his stomach immediately rumbles. Perhaps he was just hungry after all, he thinks, eagerly grabbing and biting into a slice of toast.

Seungcheol watches silently as Jeonghan eats. Jeonghan notices him staring as he begins his second slice and can only guess what he's thinking – one of his best friends and group members is in a life-or-death situation, after all. Remembering this makes his stomach churn – he slowly sets his food down and takes a deep breath.

Inhale,

exhale.

Inhale,

exhale.

His face feels hot –

and suddenly he's running to the bathroom.

He can barely raise the toilet seat before he's puking. He drops to his knees and grabs the bowl, the pain unlike anything he's ever felt before. He's never puked like this – he's not quite used to a multitude of flower petals extracting themselves from his lungs at once. It would almost tickle, if it wasn't so painful. His chest hurts and the mere feeling of coughing up the flower petals is so disgusting that he's vomiting up his breakfast now as well. It's so hard to breathe and he wishes he were dead just so that he wouldn't have to experience this. Somewhere in the back of his mind he acknowledges Seungcheol kneeling beside him and holding his hair back and he's thankful for that small comfort.

When he finishes emptying his lungs and stomach of their contents, he leans over onto Seungcheol and begins to cry. He's almost embarrassed – he feels like a little kid, but he can't help it.

“It hurts,” he sobs. “It hurts so bad, Cheol.”

“I know.” Seungcheol murmurs, rubbing his back soothingly. “We're gonna make it stop hurting soon.”

“I'm sorry.”

“You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault.”

No, it's yours.

“I'm getting your shirt all dirty.”

“That's okay. Shirts can be washed.”

“I don't want this. I don't want this to happen. Why is this happening?”

“Ssshhh, it's okay. We're going to get it taken care of. C'mon,” he pats Jeonghan's back then moves him so he's sitting up straight, and wipes the tears from his eyes. “Let's go to the doctor. They'll help you get rid of this.”

Jeonghan nods slowly and stands, with the help of Seungcheol. He flushes the toilet and moves to the sink to brush his teeth, stopping suddenly when he sees his reflection. He looks worse than he can ever remember looking – his cheeks already looked sunken enough what with the weight he'd lost during Mansae promotions, but in addition to how pale he'd become and his red eyes from crying, he looked downright ill. He bites his lip to keep another sob from escaping and turns to Seungcheol.

“I'll be ready in ten minutes.”

“Well, Jeonghan, you're already aware that you have very limited options here.”

The specialist was a nice young woman, who had cleared her morning schedule as soon as she heard about Jeonghan's case. More than just a pretty face, she explained in detail how the disease spread and the science behind it. Hanahaki specialists were very rare, as was the disease, but they were lucky enough to find one not too far from their dorm at all.

“I am aware. I'd like to get the removal surgery.”

“A smart choice.” Dr. Kim smiled grimly. “It looks like the earliest we can schedule you is for Monday, four days from now. Of course, if you do choose to take the more natural route of curing it, you'll have until then to decide if you want to do that.”

Jeonghan's eyes moved to look at Seungcheol, then Dr. Kim, then the wall, then down to his lap. “I'll... consider it.”

Dr. Kim pushed a strand of dark hair behind her ear and smiled sheepishly. “If I may speak personally... I recommend confessing. Even if they don't return your feelings, it's better to get it off your chest, so to say, instead of the possibility of regretting never saying anything for the rest of your life.” Softly, she added, “I know I do.”

Jeonghan opened his mouth, but couldn't think of a response. There was no way both of them would like him back – the surgery was his only option.

“Do... you still know him?” Seungcheol asked quietly.

Dr. Kim smiled sadly, and Jeonghan's heart wrenched. “She's my best friend.”

Jeonghan cried on the drive home.

___________________

A/N: hi!!! sorry that this update has been so delayed. i've been super busy as of late but i'm trying to get back into the swing of writing! i hope you enjoyed this chapter~ can any of you guess who dr. kim is? heheheh
also can we talk about love&letter!?! i haven't had a chance to listen to the full album yet but i watched the showcase and OMGGG i'm so glad our boys are back!!! pretty u is a BOP and i'm excited to get my album in the mail :3c peep 95 line at the beginning of the second chorus, btw haha