Chapter 2

As Minho was brushing Gwiboon’s teeth after breakfast Eunsook washed the dishes, Jinki sat down in the living room chair like always. He glanced to his wife’s picture then sighed. Looking away he picked up the remote and the television. When Minho and Eunsook were getting ready for the day, Gwiboon ran down the hall and straight into grandpa Jinki’s lap.

Minho smiled “Ok father-nim. I’ll be late today so you all eat dinner without me. I’ll microwave something when I get home. Gwiboon be a good girl for grandpa.” He kissed her forehead. Jinki joked and pouted “Where’s my kiss?” Minho laughed and kissed his father-in-law on the forehead.

“I didn’t mean for real.” Jinki laughed and wiped away the kiss from his brow playfully; Gwiboon giggled too. Eunsook left the kitchen and grabbed her purse. “I’ll be home on time. Love ya dad, Love you Gwiboon” She kissed them both on the forehead.

Jinki nodded as he just thought “I think I’ll take Ms. Boonboon to the cemetery today. We can have a picnic with grandma.”

“Sounds like a good idea dad. Tell mom hi for me. Love you both.” She kissed them both again before she and her husband left for work.

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Hand in hand grandfather and granddaughter walked up to the plot where Jinki’s wife was laid to rest. “Hello yeobo. I brought Gwiboon with me. She is 2 and half already can you believe it? Look how pretty she is. A perfect young lady.”  Gwiboon twirled around and fell over, landing on her little diaper padded . Jinki snickered and helped her up.

Jinki placed a blanket on the ground. Gwiboon sat down while Jinki unpacked their lunch from his basket. Jinki addressed his wife “Honey, Gwiboon helped make lunch.”

Gwiboon asked “Can she see?”

“Can she see us? Yes. She lives in heaven now and she can see us from there. If you are really quite you can hear her” Jinki cupped the shell of his ear and leaned in towards the headstone. Jinki nodded and smiled, his grandbaby was curious; she scrunched up her face trying to listen to and asked “Is she saying something papa?”

“She said you are so pretty angels are jealous. And she said make sure to eat all your food before you go running about.” He smiled and tapped the tip of her nose and said “beep” cutely.

Giggling Gwiboon nodded and started eating her food. Gwiboon tore a tiny piece of her sandwich “Don’t play with your food honey.” Jinki told her with his mouth full.

“I’m not; I’m giving some to grandma.” She said as she put the tiny piece of bread crumb on her headstone making Jinki smile.

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They ate in silence, Gwiboon was playing with her food every now and then while Jinki sat there thinking about his life with his wife and the years before he meant her. So much of his life he never told his daughter; he held back tears not letting any slip. Anytime Gwiboon looked at him he’d smile happily.

His grandbaby finished her meal and stood up and randomly started dancing for no reason; shaking her little hips, wagging her . Jinki broke out into laughter he stood up and danced with the toddler. He imaged his wife was giggling up in heaven at BoonBoon’s cuteness.

After their silly dance Jinki put the blanket and stuff back into the picnic basket and pulled out a drawing Gwiboon had colored earlier in the morning after her parents went to work. “Give this to grandma, she liked art.”

Gwiboon took the paper and placed it down. Jinki walked around for a minute looking for a rock; Gwiboon ran around aimlessly. Once he found one he laid it on top of the paper so it wouldn’t blow away. Jinki sat there a moment talking to his wife’s grave and eventually Gwiboon was tired of playing and ran back to her grandpa and sat in his lap. He told stories of his wife to the little girl and answered any questions she had about Grandma or heaven. Gwiboon being a natural ball of sunshine, Jinki’s melancholy mood was lifted; his sprits high once again: renewed for now…..

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The sadness would come and go - the anniversary of when they started dating, her birthday and holidays would always stir up the grief and loneness of her passing. And as usual it would fade and as weeks passed since Jinki took his granddaughter to visit the cemetery it seemed it passed again… Jinki seemed to be back to normal like every time the spells of sadness came to visit on those dates but he was hiding the truth... He was use to hiding his pain even before his wife had died but now with his wife gone it was getting harder to hide his true feelings that were buried deep down for decades. Because he might have fooled Minho but Eunsook was too smart and knew he wasn’t alright: To her it was obvious that he was lonely and needed a companion of his own age…. she was right but it isn’t exactly the whole story…

Minho was out shopping with Gwiboon while Eunsook stayed home with her father. She thought since they were alone it would be the perfect time to help him out.

Sitting on the sofa next to his chair, Eunsook reched over to the chair’s armrest. Jinki held her hand. “Dad, I was thinking. If you are lonely…..Why not date?” She shrugged. “The ladies at church think you’re cute. What about Sunyoung? She is a widow too.”

“I do not want to replace your mother. Sookie, how could you say something like that.” He let go of her hand.

“Dad I.. I didn’t mean replace mom. No one will ever replace mom. I just don’t like seeing you so sad. Maybe go out and have fun, it could help you ease out of this slump you’re in. You don’t have to date. Why not hang out with Mr. Kim; you were buddies back in the day right? Want me to call him up for you?”

“Do not call Jonghyun; he wouldn’t understand what I am going through. And neither would you.”

“Dad let me help, please.” She wiped her wet lashes “I would be beyond heartbroken if Minho died so I do understand.” her lip quivered.

“Look, I am not in a slump; I am mourning the death of your mother. I do not want to date. Leave me alone.” He turned away and picked up his wife’s picture, a frown setting in and tears threatening to fall. “You know I had a hard time with this the other day. Why are you making me relive it?” He sniffled.

“You’re lonely. I don’t want to see you lonely. Dad she died 5 and half years ago, and you need friends.”

He looked up and turned his head to her, livid now, he locked eyes with her and snapped “So what! So I just have to move on to please you? Mourning doesn’t have an expiration date you know.”  He huffed and turned away. “I do not want to talk about this.”

“Dad calm down that is not what I meant and you know it.” She rubbed his back trying to sooth him.

He calmed down a little, it’s not Eunsook’s fault she will never understand, yes he truly did love his wife and missed her dearly but there was something else… He had a secret he kept his whole life; he felt he is too old for the drama to relive it now after all this time; he’ll take it to the grave with him; It would probably kill his child if she knew. Their family shattered? He couldn’t risk it: he loved them.   He mumbled softly “Please, I need to be left alone.” After a deep breath he placed the picture back down on the side table and stood up. “I’m sorry I yelled at you Sookie. I know you are just trying to help.” He chuckled softly and played it off; he wiped his tears as he laughed “Ah, mood swings not only for teenagers, now for senior citizens too.”

She knew there was something deeper bothering him. “Dad? Please?”

“I’ll be ok I promise, honey. But for now, I just need alone time okay?” He kissed her forehead. “No dating for me. There will never be a woman that could give to me what your mother did; I have no desires to add a woman to our family. Because I know for a fact I could never love another woman. She’s the only woman I ever loved, and I plan on keeping it that way….” He took a shaky breath, paused briefly before continuing on “Besides you guys are all I need.” Putting on a smile, he tapped her nose and said “Beep” making her giggle weakly. “You, my sweet beautiful Eunsook, my awesome son in law Minho and our adorable Ms. Diaper Buns aka Miss BoonBoon, you three are all I need.” He thumbed over his daughters damp cheeks.  “Don’t cry sweetie, Daddy’s going to be alright.” He kissed her cheek before adding “I’m going to bed.” He cleared his throat and after taking another deep breath to gain his composure he softly said as he walked out of the room “Tell stinkybutt good night for me when she gets home.”

Eunsook sighed and wiped her own tears that started to fall again as soon as her father left her. Wanting her father to be happy again, she felt useless… but she wouldn’t for long. In just a few short months hope would show its self….