“Mmm, okay. Could the girl trainees please come to the front now?”

It was the day of Haru’s second monthly evaluation. With all the performances finished, the trainees waited nervously for their feedback from President Yang and their instructors. The girls stood up and shuffled to form a line in front of President Yang, their hands folded politely in front of them.

“Eunbi…” President Yang began at the start of the line where Eunbi stood. “You usually excel in your singing and dancing but today you failed to meet my expectations.”

Eunbi dropped her head and nodded, her eyes flicking back up at President Yang repentantly.

“Your weren’t in tune and you seemed awkward singing the lyrics. I feel that maybe this genre isn’t suitable for your voice. As a leader, next time, I’d expect you to make more informed choices that will benefit you as well as the rest of the girls,” President Yang continued and flipped a page on his clipboard. “Additionally, it seems that you were a bit uncertain with your dancing today. The choreography itself was impressive but you looked clumsy. I’d like you to pay more attention in making your steps more succinct and sharp. Overall, not your best performance so I hope to see a better one next time.”

Eunbi nodded again and bowed at President Yang, and Haru could see the girl was holding back tears, the look of shame on her face unmistakable. Haru couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible, her paranoia telling her that Eunbi’s flawed performance was because she had made too much of an effort to help out the three new trainees after Haru’s words.

“Areum?” President Yang moved on to Areum who was next to Eunbi.

Haru listened uncomfortably as President Yang began to scold Areum as well. why is everyone getting marked so negatively? Haru was panicking now. She clenched her hands together even tighter in front of her as she watched Areum bite her lip in frustration and bow at President Yang.

As President Yang called her name, Haru steeled herself and bowed at him, preparing herself for the worst.

“Haru, I think you performed the best out of all the girls today.”

President Yang’s words came as such a surprise Haru nearly responded with, “What?” but stopped herself just before it came out of .

“Your singing today was exceptional and your voice fitted the song well. More importantly, your dancing has improved. You made no mistakes today and you were much more fluid with your movements compared to last month. I’d still like to see more emotion in both performances, your face can be stiff at times, but overall I’m pleased with your progress. Keep it up,” President Yang tapped on his clipboard with his pen and offered Haru a smile.

Haru bowed again and thanked him numerous times, still in a state of shock. As she looked towards the sidelines her eyes met Hanbin’s. He was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed, his elbow resting on his knee and his chin on his palm. He raised his eyebrows at her, as a look of triumph crossed his face, causing Haru to scowl and look away. She cringed inwardly as she recalled how embarrassing it was for her to dance solo to just him. If he hadn’t have planned it and given me that piece of insight afterwards, I would pin him as a ert… An egotistical ert… Haru thought to herself, keeping her eyes low to avoid Hanbin’s gaze, though she was sure she could still see him staring at her in her peripheral vision.

Once all the feedback had been given, the girls returned to their seats and President Yang stood up in front of them.

“Now, I have an announcement. It will come as a surprise to all of you as it is on short notice,” President Yang began. “As you may be aware, there have been no signs of the other artists of late. You may also be aware that this is because they are overseas conducting the 2014 YG World Tour. Next week will be the final week and the last stop is Japan. I’ve made an executive decision to send all of you to join them for that week.”

Excitement rippled through the trainees as President Yang dropped the punch line. Haru, hardly able to believe her ears, stared slack-jawed at President Yang until she felt Yoonhee tap her on the shoulder. Yoonhee’s face shone with delight, her eyes wide as she whispered, “We’re going to perform at a YG concert!”

Before Haru could respond, President Yang continued, “iKON will be performing ‘’ and ‘Just Another Boy’, and I have made arrangements for the girls to substitute as backup dancers in G-Dragon’s ‘One of a Kind’. I’m aware you haven’t learnt the dance but Instructor Song tells me you are more than capable of learning it before the concert.”

At this, the girls burst out into excited chatter. Even Areum who had been scolded earlier by President Yang began smiling. Haru was nearly beside herself. Never did she think that three months into being a trainee she would get the exclusive opportunity of going overseas and performing alongside the kings and queens of K-Pop in front of hundreds and thousands of international fans.

“Admittedly, the process is rushed, but arrangements are already in place and there should be no other problems. The only thing left now is for you all to practice hard this week and perform at your peak during your week in Japan. I will be looking forward to seeing you showcase your capabilities, not just to me but also, to all the fans, your sunbaes and by extension, the rest of the world.” President Yang concluded his announcement, letting his last statement hang like a piece of washing flapping in the wind, and stood with his hands folded across his chest, scanning the trainees. “Any questions?”

“Will there still be a June evaluation then?” Dahye put up her hand and asked.

President Yang smiled slightly, “You’ll be glad to hear that the answer is no. I want you all to focus your time and energy on the world tour this coming month instead. This however, doesn’t mean that I will not be taking special note of all your performances in Japan. I’m not just sending you over for a holiday.”

Everyone nodded, smiles all round. No one was complaining. Haru, who was finally recovering from her mental breakdown, suddenly realized that upon embarking on this experience, her identity and secret of being a YG trainee may potentially be revealed. Maybe the Korean fans won’t see the Japanese tour video since they’ve already performed in Seoul… Haru thought hopefully. But she didn’t dwell on it much longer, for at this moment, she honestly didn’t care enough to give it more thought. Japan was awaiting her!

After the monthly evaluation was over and all the trainees were driven back, the training building was already buzzing with an air of undeniable anticipation. Yoonhee and Areum were bursting at the seams with joy, clutching each other’s hands and jumping in erratic circles together, with Dahye watching them like their behaviour was causing her great affliction. Bora had taken it upon herself to watch live performances of G-Dragon’s ‘One of a Kind’ and sat in the corner with headphones doing so.

Haru noticed that Eunbi was missing. She had been worried about her since the feedback from President Yang where Eunbi had looked like she was on the verge of tears. Being their leader, Eunbi sought out perfection in everything she did and was also adept at doing just that. Never had she received feedback so negative, and Haru was concerned Eunbi would take too hard of a fall. Whilst the others were busy, Haru decided to go look for her. Searching through all corners of the training building she saw no sight of the girl. Haru exited the back entrance of the building and sat on the steps in defeat. As she turned to leave, she suddenly heard the faint sound of sobbing coming from behind the small garden outside the back door. Cautiously, Haru picked her way through the leaves and twigs, pulling back the branches until the garden opened up into a small clearing that Haru had never seen before. Eunbi, with her back towards Haru, was sitting on a large rock in the middle of the clearing, her head bent low and her back hunched and shuddering as her sobs wracked her whole body.

“Eunbi unni…” Haru spoke finally, keeping her voice low but audible.

At the sound of her voice, Eunbi started and snapped her head around. The pretty girl’s face shone with streaks of fresh tears and her eyes were red and swollen from crying.

Eunbi groaned when she saw Haru, “Why did you come looking for me?”

“I… I wanted to see if you’re okay… You looked really upset earlier,” Haru replied tentatively, staying in her spot a polite distance from Eunbi, not wanting to overwhelm her even more. “I… I can leave if you want me to….”

“Is that water?” Eunbi had turned back around.

Haru looked down at the bottle of water in her hands, “Yeah it is. Would you like some?”

Eunbi didn’t respond and continued to sniffle. Haru took this as a yes and approached Eunbi, carefully sitting herself down beside her and handing her the water bottle.

Eunbi took the water bottle and gulped down half the bottle before handing it back with a quiet, “Thanks”.

“It’s okay, you can have it,” Haru pushed the water bottle back towards Eunbi. There was a short silence before Haru spoke again, “Unni… I think you shouldn’t be this hard on yourself. You work harder than all of us, and have been extraordinary to us three, especially this month. I didn’t expect you to take my words so seriously and change your ways so fast and so suddenly-”

“If you’re about to say sorry because you think it’s your fault, save your breath,” Eunbi interrupted Haru, her hand holding her forehead painfully; her voice – though shaky – was still defiant as ever. “And even if I was upset because of that, Areum still got bad feedback. I’m still not doing my job properly as a leader…”

Haru looked down at her shoes, “Areum doesn’t take orders well. She may not say much but she despises it, and she has a very strong mind of her own. I’m sure President Yang’s comments will have drilled into her this time. It’s not your fault… And I wanted you to know that despite the rough relationship we’ve had, I honestly consider you a role model. Not only because you work so hard and diligently to achieve your dreams but more because you were so willing to admit to your wrongdoings and correct them without hesitation or frustration.”

Eunbi remained silent. She kicked at the leaves beneath her feet, making them rustle and crunch as she did so. Finally, Eunbi’s voice cut through the sound of the leaves, “My sister is sick.”

Haru turned to face Eunbi, looking at her profile as she tucked the hair behind her ears to reveal the new tears forming in her eyes.

“My parents are divorced. I haven’t heard from my Dad for eight years… My sister and Mum live alone. Mum works every day from the break of dawn till night in order to support my trainee costs, and my sister who has an extreme case of chronic fatigue syndrome. She’s only fifteen but she can’t leave the house because she gets too tired, she can’t go to school and sleeps all day. The future of my family rides upon my shoulders… Mum gave up so much just so I could get here. If I don’t debut… If I don’t make it… What will become of them?” Eunbi continued, her voice thick with emotion and by now she was crying steadily.

Haru, unsure what to say, shuffled in closer to Eunbi and wrapped her arms around her gently and pulled her into a hug. Eunbi didn’t try to resist and instead, burrowed her face into Haru’s shirt, her sobbing incessant and pained. The girls remained like this until Eunbi finally drew her face away, having cried her eyes dry and wiped at the tears staining her cheeks.

“I’m sorry for slobbering all over you…” Eunbi looked at the damp patch she had made on Haru’s top.

Haru smiled, “This shirt has seen much worse than tears, don’t even worry about it,”

“I have no idea why I decided to blurt out my whole life story, especially to you,” Eunbi laughed slightly, still avoiding eye contact with Haru.

“I’m not going to tell anybody, I promise. It’ll be like I never heard it,” Haru drew a cross over her heart. “You take your time, I’m going to give you some space now.”

Haru got up and turned to leave.

“Haru-ah,”

At Eunbi’s voice calling out her name informally for the first time, Haru spun around with surprise.

“I forgive you,” Eunbi was looking at Haru in the eye, a small and genuine smile appearing on her face.

Haru returned the smile gratefully and responded, “I forgave you on the day you apologized to me,” before turning around and leaving the garden.

✼ ✼ ✼

One week flew past in the wink of an eye. And before Haru could even stop to realize this, she was already sitting in the back seat of the black van with the rest of the girls en route to Incheon airport. Haru had spent the morning fretting about her outfit, no thanks to Areum who had walked out of the bedroom for breakfast looking like she had just stepped off the runway, donned in a leather jacket, black jeans and heeled boots.

“Haru-ah, aren’t you going to get dressed? We have to go soon,” Areum sat down at the table whilst removing her leather jacket and tossing it on to the back of the chair.

Haru, who was wearing Adidas leggings, an oversized beige hoodie and black low-top Vans, s