Haru couldn’t help her jaw coming loose and hanging agape as she glanced between the older, forbidding man and the boy beside her with his head down.

“Father?” She whispered in disbelief.

Just by looking at what the man before her was wearing – a full three-piece suit with jeweled cuff links and pointed dress shoes – she was sure he was no ordinary businessman. She made a deduction on the spot. Hanbin is a chaebol?

Before this revelation could sink in, the man finally spoke, “Hanbin. Come with me right now, we need to talk,” and with that, strode past the two of them, his deadened eyes pointed straight ahead and the heels of his shoes clicking against the marble floor.

Without a word, Hanbin turned around and began to follow his father, his eyes facing downwards and footsteps stiff.

As the door of the meeting room shut, silence surrounded everyone watching. Haru’s ears were buzzing and her eyes hadn’t left the door of the room Hanbin had walked into.

“Kim Haru,”

One of the managers interrupted the silence eventually and Haru finally peeled her eyes away to slowly face everyone else in the lobby, bracing herself for the scolding.

“Do you know what has happened?” He continued, his hands placed on his hips and head tilted sideways.

Haru shook her head slightly and kept her head down, hands folded in front of her.

“There has been photos released online already, involving yourself and Hanbin running through Takea Street hand in hand,” The manager lifted his phone up for Haru to see the article containing blurred photos of the two of them, both their faces clear in many of the shots.

Haru drew in a sharp breath and let it out shakily, “We didn’t want to lose each other in the crowds of people… We were getting chased,”

“Why were you not with the rest of the trainees in your group?” The manager continued. “Bobby was given a mobile phone for this very reason and you decide to stray yourself from everyone else?”

“I-I honestly didn’t know…” Haru responded truthfully. Since when were we given a phone for emergency situations? Nobody told me about this.

The manager clicked his tongue in frustration and sighed loudly. Haru could feel her face burning from the stares of the rest of the trainees and from the manager’s strict words of accusation.

“It’s my fault,”

Everyone turned to look. Bobby had stood up from his seat in the lobby and was now standing with his hands folded in front of him.

“Don’t blame Haru. I was the one with the phone and I was the one who didn’t make it clear to the group that I had it on me,” Bobby continued. “If anyone is to blame, it’s me.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” The manager dismissed Bobby with a flick of his hand. “Luckily for us, Hanbin’s father who happened to be in Tokyo for personal reasons, has begun sorting the situation out with President Yang. The photos are not clear and have only just been released, so the problem should be under control within a few hours.”

Bobby sat back down slowly and Haru remained rooted to her spot in front of the managers, her hands clasping one another tightly in apprehension.

“Either way, we need to make clear how important it is for all of you, especially the members of iKON who are readily recognized from WIN, to stay well out of rumours and the grasps of netizens…” The manager who had turned to speak to all the trainees collectively, turned back to look at Haru, “…especially with one another.”

“In future, there will be no sightseeing if you are to visit another country before you debut. And if such allowances are given, managers will definitely be accompanying you,” Another manager spoke up. “Let this serve as a lesson for all of us,”

The trainees all murmured in agreement and the managers finally dismissed everyone to their bedrooms.

Inside the meeting room Hanbin was receiving his own personal scolding from his father.

“How could you be this careless? Didn’t I tell you to avoid going out into public when you’re overseas?” Hanbin’s father was pacing the room impatiently, his eyes drilling into his son standing motionlessly in front of him.

“I wanted to join everyone else-” Hanbin has begun but was immediately interrupted.

“Join everyone else? Everyone else isn’t my son! Kim Ryujin’s son! Do you know how hard it is to uphold my own image as the vice president without my careless child tarnishing it by allowing himself to be pictured with another female trainee before he has even debuted?” His father spat back at Hanbin furiously.

“I agreed to let you do what you want to do. If that’s to become an idol and prance around on stage so be it. But you… You’ve already earned yourself, and myself, enough negative spotlight by uselessly losing that wretched show. I gave you another chance because you begged for it and you told me you wouldn’t step out of line until you make your damn debut. But now you go knocking about carelessly with some girl?”

Hanbin remained silent. He knew better to speak up against his father especially when he was raging like this.

“You put yourself in the public eye, so now you’ll do everything to remain out of it until you bloody become a proper artist, if you ever get there. Our family didn’t need more publicity but since you’re so eager on it at least uphold our status. You’ve been a laughing stock once, don’t do it again.”

“Father, I’m working harder than everyone else. I can’t do anything about President Yang’s decisions,” Hanbin finally spoke up.

“No you can’t. And neither can I. But I can very well pull you out from under his grasp if you are to step out of line again. I’ve threatened to do it once and I won’t hesitate to do it again for real. So get your act together this month and make him certain that you’ll debut. I don’t want to be disappointed again Hanbin.”

Hanbin’s father looked his son up and down once more before making for the door without another word. As he opened the door, he caught sight of Haru standing a few feet away with her back to the room. Upon seeing her, he closed the door briefly and without looking at Hanbin, spoke in a much calmer and lower tone, “I don’t want to see that girl with you again, be it in front of me or on the Internet with you. You know very well what I can do if she interrupts you from debuting sooner or causes me more grief.”

He opened the door again and stepped outside, shutting the door behind him.

Outside the meeting room Hanbin and his father went into, Haru shuffled anxiously on the spot, wringing her hands together with worry thinking about Hanbin being reprimanded by that scary man he calls his father.

The sound of the door swinging open had Haru twisting around to look. Her stomach knotted together tighter when Hanbin’s father walked out, straightening the vest of his three-piece suit. Haru bowed quickly, as low as she could as he began walking towards her. Without stopping to acknowledge her, he continued past Haru and descended down the hallway, the clicks of his dress shoes echoing slightly along the marble floor.

Haru straightened up slowly to watch him disappear into the lifts. That person is Hanbin’s father? She finally understood what Hanbin meant by collateral damage, and why he had told her to leave him alone when they were surrounded by fans. She also realized why Hanbin had been so cautious about going sightseeing, not because he was working but because he didn’t want to get seen in public. Haru suddenly felt regretful as she remembered how she had chided him both times for being a workaholic. The ball of guilt inside her increased as she remembered the way he had shrunk in front of his father in fear and she felt infinitely remorseful towards Hanbin.

The door opened again and Hanbin stepped out finally. Haru stepped forward to grasp his arm, “Hanbin, I-”

Hanbin shook her hand off his arm and without even sparing Haru a glance, continued past her just like his father had earlier, turning the corner and disappearing out of view, leaving Haru standing alone in the hallway, still staring after Hanbin in confusion.

✼ ✼ ✼

The trainees returned back to Korea after completing the final leg of the 2014 YG Family concert in Japan. They were debriefed immediately and returned straight back into preparations for their July monthly assessment. All the trainees dived back into rehearsing and practicing all day, despite their fatigue from the past two weeks of participating in the concerts. The first half of the month flew by without warning. After the incident in Tokyo, the trainees put in more effort than previous months in order to appease and mollify President Yang, fearing he may be in a negative mind frame.

Haru was concerned that she would receive a scolding from President Yang as well but Yoonhee reassured her that it wouldn’t happen, since it’s true that Bobby didn’t explain he had a mobile and the managers themselves are to blame for their lack of care as well.

There was barely any time for the trainees to interact with one another as stress levels began to rise again. Hanbin hadn’t spoken to Haru since their last day in Tokyo, in fact, he didn’t so much as look in her direction, ignoring Haru’s comments when all the trainees ate together.

One afternoon as Haru was heading down the corridor in the training building towards her dance studio, a few members of iKON including Hanbin, Jinhwan, Donghyuk and Junhoe were heading her way, on their way up to the convenience store.

Haru waved at them and bowed as they went past, which all of them returned except Hanbin, who stared straight ahead and continued past Haru like she wasn’t there. As he walked by Haru heard him drop a few coins whilst he rummaged through his pockets. The coins rolled towards Haru and she bent down to collect them.

“Hanbin, you dropped your coins,” Haru approached the boys, her hand extended in front of her with the spare coins. She kept her gaze directly on Hanbin who refused to look in her direction. The other boys looked between the two of them awkwardly, no one was sure what to do as Hanbin did not accept the coins from Haru.

Haru waited patiently and thought, he’d at least have to acknowledge my existence this way.

But to her and everyone else’s surprise, Hanbin began walking away, completely ignoring Haru’s outstretched hand in front of him.

“Ya, Kim Hanbin,” Haru’s face was incredulous. She caught up with him and grabbed his hand, forcing him to turn it palm up and dropped the coins into his hand. “How long are you going to keep ignoring me?”

Hanbin didn’t respond but his hand closed around the coins slowly, his head turned slightly towards Haru although he still avoided looking her in the eye.

Haru looked at him expectantly but once again, there was no answer as he took off towards the staircase. This time Haru let him go. The other boys bowed apologetically at Haru and followed Hanbin up the stairs.

“Haru-sshi,” Jinhwan had stayed behind. He walked up next to Haru and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“This guy… He won’t give me a chance to even say sorry,” Haru gestured disbelievingly towards the direction Hanbin and the other boys went, turning to face Jinhwan.

“Hanbin’s in a bad spot,” Jinhwan tried to explain.

“I know, I get it. That man that he calls his father… What a joke,” Haru scoffed in annoyance. “Originally I didn’t think I was to blame but now I feel like I owe him an apology…”

“This isn’t the first time his father has paid him one of his visits. If you could call them a visit…” Jinhwan explained. “His father expects nothing less than perfection from Hanbin. It was hard enough for him to convince his father to allow him to pursue being a singer in the first place but then we lost in WIN… You should have seen the way his father yelled at him in front of everyone that day…”

Haru listened intently and through Jinhwan’s tone and the look of anguish on his face, Haru felt her annoyance from earlier softening.

“Hanbin isn’t the one to make mistakes. In fact he never makes them. He’s just as hard on himself as his father is on him. And President Yang expects so much from him too. He too has probably tightened his reins on him now. So it’s understandable that he is feeling wretched at the moment… Haru-sshi, if you could try and understand him too, that would be a great help,” Jinhwan continued, his voice was full of sincerity.

Haru nodded, “I’m not overlooking it, I do understand. I just don’t think it’s right for someone to be living under that kind of pressure and stress. It’s not right… Have you all tried to cheer him up? Help him out?”

“Of course. We always try… But nothing really works. In fact he gets more agitated when we do try. Hanbin doesn’t like showing weakness, not even to us. In the end we just let him deal with it himself because it’s what he prefers and it works…” Jinhwan responded with a sigh.

Haru shook her head in disbelief. She couldn’t believe the amount of stress Hanbin was under or the pain he harboured beneath his strong, unbreakable image as the leader of iKON.

“…But maybe you can give it go,”

Haru snapped her head around to stare at Jinhwan in confusion and shock, “Me? Why me? He doesn’t even acknowledge my existence!”

“I’m not saying it’ll be easy… But he seems to get along with you quite-” Jinhwan started.

“Get along?! Me? And Hanbin? I’m not sure what qualifies as getting along in your books but I’ve never argued so much with someone in my life until I met Hanbin,” Haru laughed.

Jinhwan also laughed, “He’s not the most easy-going person I agree. Well, it was just a suggestion, nothing more. I’ll be going then, good luck with rehearsing.”

Haru waved Jinhwan off, “Thank you, you too!”

✼ ✼ ✼

“Five, six, seven, eight…”

Around 8 o’clock, a week and a half off their July assessment, the girls were practicing hard in the dance studio. Haru stared at her sweaty reflection in the mirror as she moved in time to Eunbi’s counts, willing herself not to make a mistake.

“Okay nice, that time was good. Areum and Dahye make sure you both step further back on the last bit otherwise the other girls might collide with you,” Eunbi went around readjusting positions.

“Ah Eunbi-ah, let’s take a rest huh? We’re all exhausted and we haven’t eaten dinner either,” Bora was crouched down in a squat in her position, her arms hanging over her knees as she looked up at Eunbi through her sweat.

“Yeah, let’s take a break unni,” Both Yoonhee and Areum agreed eagerly, slumping down against the floor.

Eunbi wiped the sweat from her own brow and looked around at the five other exhausted girls before agreeing, “Okay call. What should we eat?”

“Let’s order pizza!”
“No, let’s get jajangmyeon,”

“Oh yes and kimchi pancakes!”

“Ya they’re all so unhealthy. We should get sandwiches.”

“Sandwiches won’t give me enough energy to practice all night long Areum.”

As the girls fought over what to order for dinner there was a knock on the door. Eunbi stood up to open the door and Manager Kim stepped through.

“Haru-sshi?” He looked around the room before finding Haru who stood up.

“Yes?”

“Your family is here to visit you,” Manager Kim stepped aside and a small figure shot out from behind him towards Haru like a bullet, the whole time calling out her name.

“Hyunjoon-ah!” Haru’s eyes widened in shock as she bent down in time for Hyunjoon to crash into her arms at full speed. She picked up her younger brother, straining a little under his weight. “Ya! Joon-ah, you got so big!”

The other girls all laughed at the sight. Jongshin stepped through the door as well, carrying two large plastic bags.

Haru put Hyunjoon down and ran over to give her Dad a hug, “Dad! Why are you here?”

“Surprise?” Jongshin chuckled meekly.

The other girls greeted Haru’s Dad and said hello to Hyunjoon.

“What did you bring?” Haru pointed at the two plastic bags on the floor.

“Well, I thought maybe you guys were hungry. I bought enough fried chicken for nearly 12 people…” Jongshin pulled back the plastic bag to reveal several boxes of fried chicken.

All the girls chorused in excitement and profusely thanked Haru’s father.

“We should go share this with the boys,” Bora suggested, shocked by the sheer quantity of food in front of her.

Agreeing with her, the girls ar