Spring had well and truly arrived. Accompanying the mild weather and warm sunshine, the cherry blossom trees that lined the roads had sprung into life, the breeze combing through their branches to bring showers of pink and white on to the footpath. Outside an apartment block in Mapo-gu, a girl in school uniform sat on the front steps and a boy stood before her, a school bag in his hand. The cherry blossoms fluttered near their feet as the boy sat down beside the girl.

Haru and Bobby sat in silence, the noise of the nearby roads filling in the gaps, before Bobby finally spoke, “I didn’t come just to give you your school bag. I came to see if you were okay because you didn’t look it.”

Haru nodded, “Aside from the fact that I’ve probably made things worse, I’m fine.”

“I don’t think you did,” Bobby told her. “Maybe it was time one of the new trainees said something instead of being passive all the time.”

“I was just angry…” Haru sighed and dropped her head into her hands. “If Dahye hadn’t made that comment I would have just walked past them with newfound sympathy and none of this would have happened.”

“Dahye was out of line. Like you said, she made a personal attack on you. I think what you did was brave, everyone should know when to defend themselves,” Bobby’s gaze rested on the back of Haru’s head.

When Haru didn’t respond, he said softly, “Come on now. Look up. Everyone gets angry and you had a good reason too, don’t go beating yourself up over it now.”

Haru lifted her face from her hands and took in a deep breath, shaking her head quickly and patting her cheeks. She faced Bobby and put on a smile, “Thank you Bobby. You shouldn’t be so nice to me. If anything you should be hating me for what I just said.”

Bobby chuckled and responded truthfully, “I was shocked when I heard you and I did feel a bit disrespected, but you also made me realize how awful those new recruits must feel most days, given its three against six on our team.”

Haru smiled at Bobby gratefully and quickly dried her damp cheeks. She looked down at her uniform and muttered, “God, and I thought I hated this uniform before today…”

Bobby handed Haru her school bag and stood up, “Alright now. Enough crying for one day don’t you think? The evening dance practice is starting soon. Go and get changed.”

Haru felt the dread creeping up her chest. She would have to face the wrath of Eunbi and Dahye, and Haru wasn’t sure she was emotionally stable to handle it.

“I’m going to count down from 1000 and if you’re not back here by the time I reach 0, I’ll be sure to call you ‘student’ for the rest of your life,” Bobby smirked, his eyebrows raised.

Haru looked at Bobby in defeat as she whined, “No, no, don’t do this to me,” but Bobby had already begun counting down, his eyes shut and a large grin on his face as he feigned ignorance.

“Damn you!” Haru said through her teeth as she jokingly punched his arm and made a run for the elevators inside the apartment.

“Where is everyone?” Haru looked around the main downstairs area of the training building. “There’s no music playing either,”

“Instructor Song must have called everyone together for a debriefing. Plus, we’re late. No thanks to somebody,” Bobby, who was behind Haru, gave her a little joking push as they headed down the corridor.

“Hey!” Haru spun around. “I made it downstairs when you were only up to 500, isn’t that good enough for you?”

Bobby laughed and then stopped outside a practice studio, “Found them. Everyone’s in there…” Before Haru could protest, Bobby opened the door and Haru had no choice but to follow him inside, her stomach churning.

Inside, all of iKON and all the girl trainees were seated in the middle of the dance studio facing their dance instructor who had his back against the mirror.

As Bobby and Haru walked inside, everyone in the room turned to stare at them, including Instructor Song.

Bobby and Haru both bowed deeply at Instructor Song before Bobby spoke up, “We’re sorry we’re late. Haru had tripped over and scraped her knee so I was helping her.”

Haru looked down at herself wearing slacks and stared at Bobby in disbelief as he lied through his teeth, is that the best you could do?

“Are you alright Kim Haru-sshi?” Instructor Song was also looking at Haru’s slacks and Haru knew he didn’t buy one word of Bobby’s lie.

“I, uh… I’m fine, thank you…” Haru stammered, avoiding eye contact and bowed again.

“Good. Take a seat then,” Instructor Song gestured towards the rest of the trainees.

As Haru and Bobby went to sit, Haru felt Hanbin’s eyes fixed on her and she did her best to ignore this by sitting in front of him. Haru dared to peek in the direction of Eunbi and Dahye who were sitting towards her right and were looking forward expressionlessly.

After Instructor Song had finished speaking, the boys and girls split into different rooms to begin practicing.

In the girls’ dance studio, the silence was deafening. Yoonhee and Areum looked between everyone with bewilderment and nervousness, whilst Dahye and Eunbi sat around the outskirts of the room, busying themselves with their laces. Haru fiddled with the zip on her jacket anxiously and kept her head down.

As Bora spoke up and said, “Okay then, should we start?”, at the same time, Eunbi also said, “Haru, come over here.”

The room reverted back to silence immediately. Haru’s stomach flipped as she looked up at Eunbi who hadn’t lifted her head as she tied her laces. Bora looked between the two of them and with a sigh of resignation, turned away.

Haru stood up slowly and walked over to Eunbi sitting on the bench. The room remained silent as Eunbi continued to tie up her laces. When she finished, she finally sat back against the wall to look at Haru.

Haru prepared herself for the verbal abuse that was about to be unleashed upon her.

“Dahye. Come over here and apologize to Haru.”

Haru’s head snapped up to look at Eunbi in shock. What did she just say?

Wordlessly Dahye appeared beside Haru. Without making eye contact, Dahye bowed her head and muttered, “I’m sorry.”

Haru, still in a state of complete shock, almost didn’t register Dahye’s apology, as she continued to stare at Dahye standing beside her.  

“And I’m sorry too. For laughing at you,” Eunbi’s voice caused Haru to turn her head to look at Eunbi.

“Just so you know,  I am angry at what you said to us. You were disrespectful and defiant towards people that have been here longer than you and have the right to tell you what to do. Many things you said were immature, and I understand that your words may have been exaggerated from frustration. But you were also right in other ways. Us three have been harsh and, maybe unfair to you three. We were a team and we didn’t like the idea of newbies. For me especially, as a leader figure, I became overly protective. I now understand that Dahye and I have also been immature,” Eunbi’s voice was solemn, her eyes wandering around the room and finally meeting Haru’s.

“I know you’re feeling sorry for what you said too. I’m not sure I can fully forgive you just yet. The same goes for you; you don’t have to accept our apologies right now either. You said you wanted us to give you three a chance and that you’d prove it to us. Well, I’m going to give you that chance. From now on, take it, and put your words into action. Show me you’re all worth it. We’re all going to offer you as much as help as you need. And like you said, maybe then, we will indeed get along.”

Eunbi stood up in front of Haru and for the first time in two months, offered her a small, tight-lipped smile.

Haru’s mind was racing at a million miles an hour. In the space of ten minutes Dahye had acknowledged her existence, Eunbi spoke and looked at her like an equal and both of them had apologized sincerely. She remained glued to her spot even after Eunbi had walked around her. Yoonhee and Areum quickly came to Haru’s side whilst Eunbi took to the center of the room, clapped her hands together and spoke like nothing had happened, “Alright girls. We’ve wasted enough time, let’s get started.”

✼ ✼ ✼

Haru splashed water on to her face in the bathroom and then stared at herself in the mirror. All right Haru, get it together. It’s no time to be feeling tired. You have to make your words count… Damn these loose lips of mine!

A few days after Haru’s showdown with Eunbi and Dahye, the three new girls were practicing their dance routine into the early hours of the morning, working harder than ever to impress the original members. Haru, who had slept only five hours in the past 48, was beginning to regret ever asking for a chance from Eunbi. She looked down at her watch that read 1:03 AM and exhaled loudly, wiping the water from her face with the bottom of her shirt.

On her way back to the dance studio, she heard music from one of the recording studios. The large office chair obscured her view but she knew it was Hanbin that was sitting in it from the cans of energy drinks and bottles of coffee stacked up on the table. Good to see you got my memo… Haru thought about ignoring him, afraid that he also felt disrespected by what she said to Eunbi and Dahye, considering he was iKON’s leader and probably in a similar position as Eunbi except less forgiving. But as she watched him push himself over to the table beside the computer, headphones on, pen in hand scribbling lyrics in an exercise book and going over them tirelessly, she couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He’s good at a lot of things but he really doesn’t know how to take care of himself…

Haru didn’t have any food on her and there was only yogurt back in the dance studio so when she returned to the dance studio, she quickly grabbed her wallet and told the girls she was getting food for everyone. “But we already have food…?” Areum trailed off as her and Yoonhee watched Haru leave the studio.

Whilst she was gone, Hanbin left the recording studio to drink some water from the water fountain. As he was about to cross the main area to head back to the recording studio, Haru came running down the stairs, plastic bag in hand. Not noticing Hanbin’s presence, Haru continued across the main area and stopped outside the recording studio Hanbin was using. Hanbin carefully hid behind the wall at the start of the corridor and watched as she took out a packet of sweet bread and a carton of chocolate milk from the plastic bag. Haru peered inside the recording studio hesitantly as if she were contemplating knocking on the door. Instead she changed her mind, obviously assuming Hanbin was still inside. She took out a pad of sticky notes and stuck one to the front of the carton. Taking off the lid of the pen with her teeth, she began writing on the sticky note, still unaware of Hanbin watching her at the start of the corridor. When she was finished, she placed both items in front of the door and then took off in the other direction, disappearing into a dance studio.

After she had entered the studio, Hanbin came out from behind the wall and walked up to the recording studio. He looked down at the food sitting in front of the door and bent down to pick both up. Flipping the carton of milk over he read the note attached to it:

     Didn’t I tell you energy drinks are bad for your health??? This is chocolate milk…

  I happened to have it on hand. Drink it this time and don’t throw it back at me

         later like you did last time with the yogurt, it was a was