Haru kicked up the tanbark with her canvas shoe-wearing foot. She watched it spray upwards and forwards like a splash of water, before falling back and disappearing into the rest of the tanbark. The night time sounds of traffic could be heard in the distance and an ambulance siren wailed nearby. Haru was sitting on a swing in the middle of a deserted playground in her neighbourhood, the street lights bathing the playground in an amber glow. The playground was situated at the top of the hill her neighbourhood was built upon, giving Haru a view of the entire neighbourhood and even the main roads up ahead. She rocked herself backwards and forwards slightly and thought about what just happened, having escaped from the desperate clutches of her father earlier, and the sight of the woman in her house.

I keep having to run away… Why do I keep running away from my problems? Haru recalled her recent showdown with Eunbi and Dahye that had her running from the scene as well.

It wasn’t long before Haru heard the crunching of tanbark from ahead and looked up to see her father walking towards her, his head low and his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket. She had expected him to find her here. Without speaking, Jongshin sat down in the swing beside his daughter and looked up at the sky with a sigh.

After a short silence, they both spoke up at the same time, “I’m sorry,”

Father and daughter stared at each and Jongshin asked with surprise, “You’re… sorry? Why are you sorry?”

Haru held on to the pink lunchbox in her hand and looked down at her lap, “I overreacted,”

Jongshin shook his head, “No Haru-ah I completely understand that you reacted the way you did… I was working up the nerve to tell you soon, I’m sorry you had to find out this way…”

“I was shocked and saddened at first… But I thought about it and now realize that I’m just being selfish. You deserve to find someone you love again…” Haru looked at her Dad and continued with a small voice.

“Haru-ah. You have to understand that I was lonely. I was sad and lonely after your mother passed away and it was bearable when you were at home, but since you’ve been gone… I’ve never felt lonelier in my life,” Haru’s father cleared his throat and stared forwards, his eyes focused on one spot in front of him.

Haru looked at her father, the streetlight illuminating his face and felt her stomach twist in grief, “I’m really sorry Dad… I didn’t mean to leave you all alone again. I-I’m…” Haru’s voice faltered and she held back the tears that threatened to spill.

Jongshin got up from his swing and crouched down in front of Haru, “Hey… Do not blame yourself. Don’t you dare do that, you hear me? You have every right to be upset and I’d let you hit me but I’m actually concerned you might give me black eye,”

Haru laughed and tried to blink away her tears. Swallowing hard so told her father, “Dad… Do what makes you happy please. Make sure she’s worthy of you and your time. I’m going to try and support you no matter what, because you’ve supported me every step of the way…”

Jongshin smiled at Haru and ruffled her hair, “Gosh kiddo, why are you so kind-hearted?”

“I get it from you, stupid,” Haru responded with a smile.

“Oh, that’s right…” Jongshin rolled his eyes and feigned understanding. He then tapped the lunchbox in Haru’s lap, “What kind of kimbap did you make? Don’t tell me it’s tuna.”

“I should have made the tuna ones just so you wouldn’t be able to eat any of them,” Haru chuckled.

The two of them relocated to the picnic table in the playground and Haru opened the lunchbox so her Dad could eat one.

“Tell me about this woman Dad,” Haru leaned forwards and took a piece for herself.

“Well, I met her a week after you started training. She was the friend of a mother who’s son I was tutoring,” Jongshin spoke with trepidation.
“She seems young…” Haru commented, trying to conceal her concern about the woman’s young age.

“Uh, yeah she’s a bit younger than me. Her name is Park Hwayoung and she’s a secretary. Anyway she showed interest in me and we went out to dinner one night… And well, we got along really well and have been seeing each other since,” Jongshin continued quickly, looking uneasy.

“Dad, relax. This isn’t an interrogation, I’m just getting up to date,” Haru laughed at her Dad’s tense face.

Jongshin smiled and looked down, “Come on Haru, let’s go pick up Hyunjoon and go home. It’s getting late.”

“What about Hwayoung?”

“I told her to leave as soon as you ran off and she understood, so it’s no problem,” Jongshin responded as he packed up the lunchbox. He curled his arm and extended his elbow towards Haru. Haru smiled and hooked her arm through his, and the two headed down the hill, arm in arm.

That night, Haru sat on her own bed in her bedroom and held her mother’s necklace in her hands, looking at it under her bedside lamp. Alone in her room, she could finally drop the smile she wore earlier with her Dad.

“Hey Mum… You’re okay yeah? I think I’m okay,” Haru spoke softly and watched the pendant gleam in her palm. “I’m not going to wear this just for tomorrow, I think it’ll just make things easier for Dad and I if I didn’t wear it…”

“I know you’d understand Dad… I told him it’s okay so I have to be okay don’t I? Mum… Give me the strength to understand Dad, because I want to…” Haru’s tears fell steadily and she gasped for a breath, her voice breaking, “…and I said I do… but honestly…. I’m really, really struggling…” She closed her fingers around the pendant and began to cry, muffling her sobs into the sleeve of her jumper.

Haru fell asleep that night with the necklace under her pillow and her cheeks wet with tears.

✼ ✼ ✼

Haru spent Saturday with her father and Hyunjoon, playing video games, visiting the zoo and having a picnic, ending the day beside the Han River eating fried chicken and drinking grape soda as night settled in on Seoul. Haru kept her mother’s necklace in her pocket instead of wearing it and tried her hardest to not let her mixed feelings ruin the one day she got to spend with her family. Hyunjoon had requested to sleep with Haru that night and Haru had scooted over in her bed to make room for her little brother, watching him fall asleep beside her with a large smile.

After breakfast with her family on Sunday, Haru bade farewell to her Dad and Hyunjoon, nearly grateful that she wouldn’t have to remain at home and see Hwayoung. She took the morning bus back to her dorm where the girls were still sleeping in. Haru collected her guitar quietly from her bedroom, careful not to disturb Areum and Yoonhee from the sleep they all needed and made her way over to the training building via the back route.

One block away from the training building, she heard someone call her name, “Haru!”

Haru looked up and saw Bobby walking her way, hand in the air waving at her. Haru smiled and called out, “Hey Bobby!”

Bobby jogged over to Haru, his hair that wasn’t covered by a cap bouncing against his forehead, “You’re back. How’s your family?”

“They’re… good!” Haru hesitated but managed to smile. Quickly, she changed the topic, “Where are you going?”

Bobby ran a hand through his hair and shrugged, “I don’t know. Just needed to take a walk I think.”

Haru noticed the bags under Bobby’s eyes and his lack of energy compared to other days, “Are you alright? You seem really run down,”

“Well that’s what no sleep does to you,” Bobby laughed. “Hanbin and I stayed up all night composing our new songs.”

“Oh God… Don’t work too hard!” Haru looked at him with concern. She tucked her hair behind her ears and continued, “You should really get some sleep. You’ll feel better,”

Bobby watched Haru, his eyes wandering over her face thoughtfully and smiled, “Seeing you is already making me feel better.”

Haru laughed and looked down at her feet feeling slightly embarrassed by Bobby’s comment and the fixity of his stare, “Ay… Does no sleep also make you cheesy?”

“Apparently,” Bobby continued to smile at Haru. He then draped his arm around Haru’s shoulders, pulling her into him, “Say, should we go get coffee? You look like you could do with one as well.”

Haru smiled up at Bobby and nodded her head, “Sure, that’s a good idea,”

Bobby’s hand moved up to ruffle Haru’s bangs playfully, causing her to balk, “Ya! You’re messing up my hair!”

Laughing, the two of them headed for the nearest café in the area.  As Haru and Bobby waited for their order by the counter, there was suddenly a squeal and the sound of excited chattering from behind them, “Omo! It’s Bobby!”. Turning around, they saw that a group of five girls had gathered behind them, their hands covering their mouths and phones raised.

, Haru thought. It’s a Sunday… There’d be fans everywhere. She quickly threw her hood over her head.

Bobby bowed at the girls, collected their drinks and tugged on Haru’s jumper, his head nodding towards the door urgently. Haru kept her head down and followed him out.

“Oppa, could you please give us an autograph? We love you!” The group of girls had followed them out and were tagging along behind them.

Haru could hear a few of them saying, “Who’s the girl? Is she a trainee as well?”

Bobby, who was still holding onto Haru’s jumper, turned back slightly and said, “I’m sorry I’m not allowed to give out autographs. Sorry!”

The two quickened their steps and continued down the footpath, Haru praying the girls would stop following and filming.

“Bobby,” Haru hissed under her breath. “They’re recording this aren’t they?”

“Probably…” Bobby looked back at the girls who were fortunately keeping their distance but still pursuing. “Quick, this way.” Bobby made a sharp left into a small alley way.

“Where are we going?” Haru followed him.

Bobby stopped and turned to face Haru, “Now is the time to lose them. I’m sorry but I’m gonna need you to run, is that okay?”

Haru readjusted her guitar on her shoulder and nodded, “I’m ready,”

Bobby smiled. He reached down and grabbed Haru’s hand, “Well, let’s go,” before taking off down the alleyway, Haru’s hand tightly in his.

The winding alleyway with many different intersections that looked exactly the same gave Haru a headache but Bobby seemed to know exactly where to go. The boy and the girl ran, hand in hand through the alleys, both of them wearing smiles on their faces. When Haru looked over her shoulder, there were no sign of the girls. Before long, they had reached a clearing and Haru finally recognized that they had made it to the back route that lead to the training building. Bobby stopped running, knowing that they had lost the girls.

“How did you know where to go?” Haru panted, her hand reaching up to fix her bangs.

“It’s my secret route,” Bobby who was also breathing hard flashed Haru a smile.

Haru finally realized she was still holding Bobby’s hand and quickly pulled away in embarrassment.

Bobby cleared his throat awkwardly before saying, “Sorry for making you come with me. That could have been disastrous…”

Haru shook her head and smiled, “It’s fine. They didn’t see my face. Let’s go back, I really need that coffee now…” and together the two finally headed back to the training building.

“Have you ever done any composing?” Bobby was asking Haru as they walked in through the back entrance and started heading towards the stairs.

“I did an elective in school that taught us the basics,” Haru replied. “I’m not really familiar with it but I have a general understanding. I’m better at writing songs with my guitar or a piano.”