Before he left for the night to take over Gwiboon from Taemin Jonghyun always liked to make sure Jinki’s pillows were where he wanted them and anything he could want later was in his immediate reach. A soft kiss was pressed to his cheek after Gwiboon was taken from him. “Call me later okay?”

Jinki smiled, fingers twitching on his blanket, “Of course.” His hand moved to wiggle Gwiboon’s leg, “You be a good girl Pumpkin.”

Before he left Jinki called out, “Can you make sure there’s someone outside…The police officer.”

Jonghyun flashed a warm smile before nodding, shouldering the baby bag.  He popped his head back in and softly said, “He’s right outside. Do you want the door closed?”

“Yes please.” Jinki’s fingers curled tightly around his blanket. “Thank you.”

“I’ll be back early afternoon Baby.” Jonghyun smiled before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Jinki sighed, tension leaving him just for a moment as he stared at the door. He knew the shadow moving under the door was probably the police officer or one of the hospital staff, but he couldn’t stop thinking that it was Them coming to finish him off.  

He laid his head back and closed his eyes, trying to take back his mind from over thinking, but all he saw flash into his consciousness was the darkness of that cabin they were held in. His eyes snapped opened, hand rushing to reach over as his fingers fumbled for the switch. His breathing only slowed when the lights were flipped on.  He glanced at the phone on the table next to him, wondering if Jonghyun would answer if he called so soon, or if he was okay to do so. When the shadow of the IV stand caused his heart to stop momentarily his palm hit the curve of the phone and he was quickly punching in Jonghyun’s cell phone number.

“Baby, hey, what’s wrong?” Jonghyun’s voice was slightly out of breath, “I just pulled out of the hospital.”

Jinki his lips and fumbled for the right words before he finally gasped out, “Is Taemin still staying with us?”

“Yes, Baby he wanted to make sure you were okay before returning to school.”

“I… I need you to come back.” Jinki’s eyes fluttered closed and he in a deep breath, “I can’t do this I need you here.”

“Baby.. hey what’s wrong?”

“He’s gonna come back… I know he’s gonna come back and I…” His voice was trembling, hands beginning to shake, “I don’t want to die.”

“Okay Baby, I’m going to get off the phone for 2 minutes to call Taemin to tell him you need me okay?”  Jonghyun’s voice was warm and comforting, “I’ll be back in 30 minutes.”

“Okay.. okay,” After a deep breath Jinki mumbled, “Thank you.”

“I’m always here. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Jinki whispered before the call clicked over.

—–

Jonghyun got there in about 20 minutes, climbing into the bed to curl into Jinki’s side as soon as his coat was pulled off and his shoes were kicked from his feet. After he was settled Jinki whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Jonghyun softly said as he looked up at him with a small smile. “No one will hurt you, Baby. Not when I’m here.”

Jinki swallowed thickly, “Promise?”

“Completely.” Jonghyun squeezed Jinki’s hand resting on his hip. “Try it get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

With a deep breath, Jinki closed his eyes. “Okay,” voice soft and vulnerable as he tried to get lost in the familiarity of Jonghyun pressed against him. It was a normal night, cuddled with his husband, everything is okay.

Sleep came soon, and while he woke up for a few nightmares he couldn’t remember entirely, Jonghyun was there with soft, tired eyes, and a warm kiss to the forehead, each and every time. His voice always gentle and understanding, even though Jinki knew he was completely exhausted.

——

In the morning Jonghyun woke up after him, but Jinki didn’t mind holding him. For a little while, he had something else to focus on besides the possibility of them coming back for him. When Jonghyun finally opened his eyes there was a sleepy smile on his face, but soon his eyes widened as he rushed to become more awake, “Jin-Jinki is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Jinki breathed out softly, fingers moving over Jonghyun’s hip gently. “I’ve been up for a few hours.”

Jonghyun’s eyes were squinting against the light, even as dim as it was, “What time is it?”

“Mm a little after eight I think.” Jinki rubbed his thumb under Jonghyun’s eyes to move away his sleepies. “When the nurse came in to check on me I sent for breakfast for us.”

“They allowed you to get me some?” Jonghyun asked voice muffled as he snuffled into Jinki further.

“I can only handle unflavored oatmeal and some soups right now Babe, they can handle an extra waffle and eggs for you.” Jinki pressed his lips to Jonghyun’s temple for a moment, eyes fluttering closed as he took a deep breath through his nose. Then he softly confessed, “I miss this.”

Jonghyun hummed, “We’ll have this back soon Baby.”

“It’ll never be the same, Babe.” Jinki’s fingers tightened on his hip, “I’ll always have a scar, I’ll always be worried if they’ll come back I… I’m not the same man Jonghyun as I was before this.”

“You’re right, you aren’t the same man, but it’s not a bad change. It’s not a change I don’t love just like I did before, I love you more Jinki.” His palm skimmed over his jaw, up into his hair, and he gave a small smile. “You protected our baby girl, so willing to protect me. God Baby, I love you so much.”

“Jonghyun…”

“My mother is going to take Gwi from Taemin today, so you have me all day.”

“You didn’t have-”

“Yes, I did.” He pecked his cheek before sitting up to stretch fully, smiling widely over at him. “You need me here. It took you a lot to call me last night, I know, so I’m making sure you don’t have to call more than across the room.”

Jinki’s eyes were a little glossy, and Jonghyun cooed a little as he moved to wipe the tear spilling over his lashes.

——

Just after lunch, Jinki laid back for a nap before the nurse came in to check how the stitches were healing. Jonghyun had kissed his hair, whispered a soft be right back, before slipping out of the room to call his mother to see how Gwiboon was doing. It wasn’t long before a nightmare gripped at Jinki’s subconsciousness, filling him with fear and flashes of memories morphed into something even more terrifying. He shot up from his pillow, pain exploding throughout his middle at such a fast movement, but his eyes were frantically looking for his baby girl that never was there. His breathing was quick, chest rising and falling rapidly as he looked around for Gwiboon. His heart was heavy with dread. They had her, they had his baby girl, he failed to protect her. He had to find her.

Except when his feet hit the cold floor of the hospital room his knees gave out, and he came crashing down. Jonghyun rushed in, eyes wide with panic as he searched the room for the source of the crash. His heart was in his throat when he found Jinki, legs wrapped up in blankets being pulled from the bed, body sprawled on the floor, and sounds of pain rumbling from his throat. He rushed over, kneeling down to push Jinki’s hair out of his face to see if he was conscious, “Baby, Baby hey look at me, There you go. What were you thinking?”

“Gwi, they have Gwi I gotta,” Jonghyun pressed him down with a palm flat on his chest.

is with my mother Jinki.” Jinki fought against his restraint, so Jonghyun’s voice lost Gwi“it’s softness. “Jinki she’s with my mother.”

After a moment Jinki looked up at him, confused and hurt, “Jonghyun?”

Jonghyun sighed softly before moving his arms under Jinki’s armpits. “Hold on, let’s get you up so they can see if anything is wrong.”

Jinki was silent besides the soft noises of pain as he was moved, and once he was on the bed, feet hanging off the side, Jonghyun asked again, “What were you doing?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jinki grumbled.

“Jinki you could-”

Jinki eyes snapped up to him, growling out angrily, “I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jonghyun swallowed thickly, and nodded his head, slowly withdrawing from his husband. After he his lips he softly said, “I’ll get a nurse to check you over.” The pain throbbing around his body was nothing compared to the pain in his heart seeing Jonghyun look at him so hurt as he was then as he left the room.

——

Luckily enough nothing was seriously hurt on Jinki. His hip was a little bruised, much like his ego, but his stitches were all in order still, and it didn’t seem like he pulled anything from healing properly in his abdomen. He was leaning back in his bed, blanket over his legs, eyes closed as his fingers tapped on his lap, and he didn’t take notice of Jonghyun until he heard the door slide close. “Can... Can I come in?”

A stab in the heart was what the question was. It was as if Jonghyun didn’t feel welcome anymore like he wasn’t needed as badly as Jinki felt he was. “Of course Jonghyun.”

Jonghyun shuffled over on unsure steps and stood by the side of the bed. “Can I sit on your lap?”

With a soft nod, Jinki took his hands off his lap. Jonghyun was careful as he threw his leg over Jinki’s thighs, and leaned back to press against them. Jinki’s hands naturally moved to Jonghyun’s hips, but they stuttered as they got close. He was unsure if he was allowed to, so he just let them fall back onto the bed. “I’m sorry,” Jinki whispered oh so quietly. When he looked up again his voice was louder, “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“Oh Baby,” Jonghyun was so warm and soft as he cupped his jaw, “You need to talk to someone. Something is wrong. The nightmares, the flashbacks… how quickly you’re angered. This isn’t you. Jinki I love you, I know you so well. Whatever happened in those 36 hours, changed something in that head of yours, something I cannot fix. Something that this floor cannot fix. You’re mending here,” His palm was gentle as it pressed against his hospital gown, but then it was moving to push into his hair, “But what you need is mending here.”

Jinki’s bottom lip trembled, hands shaking a little as he looked at his husband and admitted, “I didn’t want to worry you… I thought I could work through it, but,” He swallowed thickly, sorrow entering his voice, “I just want it to stop. I just want it to go away.”

“I don’t think this is something that can go away like other pain can Baby,” Jonghyun wiped Jinki’s tears gently, “But it can be treated, to try to make it lesser… livable.” Jinki in a breath harshly, “I’ll call someone, and when they come if you want me in here I’ll be here holding your hand, but if you feel more comfortable without me there I’ll step out.”

“You would?”

“I want to help you not be so afraid what’s waiting when you close your eyes, or when the lights are turned off.” Jonghyun slipped from his lap to lean up and kiss his lips softly. He was curling into his side when Jinki spoke again.

“Thank you.” It was so quiet it was barely heard over the sounds of the hospital floor just outside the door.