Jinki tugged Jonghyun back against him and smiled warmly when the smaller man wiggled a little to get comfy beside him. “What do you think the odds are in being able to sleep without a sprawling two-year-old tonight are?”

    Jonghyun hummed, eyes already beginning to fall asleep. “Pretty slim.”

    He softly moved his hand over Jonghyun’s tummy, nose against the base of his neck for a moment before he shifted so it was in his hair. The softness of the strands and the scent of him calming Jinki in a way, luring sleep over him. “I’ve been thinking.”

    “About?”

    “I think I’m ready for another.” Came Jinki’s soft confession a moment later.

    Jonghyun moved slowly and carefully as he turned, for he didn’t want to hit Jinki’s nose with his head as he moved. Once settled he looked at Jinki with big, vulnerable eyes. His voice was soft and unsure, rolling off his lips in a nervous breath. “Really?”

    “We’ve always used to talk about having another child after Gwiboon, but then everything happened and I felt like I wasn’t safe enough to be around Gwi… let alone a new infant. I’ve worked really hard to get a grasp on things, to be a resemblance of the man you decided to have children with, and I’d like to believe I’m there. I.. I want another Jonghyun.”

    “Are you ready to deal with it all?” Jinki’s face fell for a moment, but Jonghyun was quick to smile and cup his cheek gently. “I have no doubt that you can handle having another child Babe, but the process to get Gwi was hard on us both. I’m worried about whether it’ll be too hard for you this time around with the added.. Symptoms.”

    “I don’t want my PTSD to be the reason we don’t even try to have another.” Jinki bit his bottom lip for a moment before stating. “If you really think it’s a bad idea…”

    “I think it’s a great idea.” Jonghyun quickly stated, voice raising in volume for a moment in his slight panic. “I’ll contact the place tomorrow.”

    When Jinki let out a deep breath it was like he had been holding it the entire conversation. He softly grabbed Jonghyun’s wrist and brought his palm over so he could kiss it. “I’m not sure how having a baby is going to interact with my disorder now that Gwiboon is a lot older than when it happened, but… thank you for having a little confidence in me.”

    Jonghyun wiggled up to be able to kiss him gently, foreheads pressed together and he smiled with a little laugh. “I have so much confidence in you, Babe. You’re still the strongest person I know. There’s no one else I’d want to have another child with.”

    “I’m really happy you want another one too.” Jinki’s smile was so bright and light. “I’ve been thinking about it since Gwiboon’s second birthday.”

    “To think, sometime in the future we’ll have another.” Jonghyun laid his head against Jinki’s chest, arms wrapping around each other. “I miss Gwi being a baby. She’s growing so quickly Babe.”

    “I know,” Jinki whispered, the sound of their ceiling fan clicking as it spun above them. “Before we know it, it’ll be time for preschool and then kindergarten.”

    “You stop that right now, Mister,” Jonghyun grumbled cutely causing Jinki to laugh quietly. “I’m really proud of you Jinki.”

    “For what?”

    “This last year and some. You’ve worked so hard and I don’t tell you enough how proud I am of you.”

    Jinki’s voice was caught in his throat as Jonghyun’s arms tightened around him.  He pressed a kiss to Jonghyun’s hair, eyes fluttering closed. His voice cracked a little when he spoke. “What did I say about saying stuff like that?”

    “It makes you emotional.” Came the man’s muffled voice, cheek squished against Jinki’s chest.

    “Well stop it,” Jinki said with a little laugh. “I have a meeting tomorrow I don’t need puffy eyes.”

    “Goodnight, I love you.”

    Jinki hummed quietly, sleep already tugging at him. “Goodnight my love.”

    They slept peacefully until about 3 am when they felt a little someone tugging on their blankets to be helped up. As always, Gwiboon curled up between them, taking up way more space than she should be able to.

----

    17 months later

    Jinki was ringing his hands over and over, his nerves increasing the more time they were waiting. Sungkyu was in her doctor’s appointment, waiting for the results of the pregnancy test to see if their embryo stuck. When Jonghyun’s own covered his the nervous tick stopped for a moment as he looked over at his husband. “Whatever happens, know we’ll get our other baby eventually.”

    “I know.. I just-” Jinki closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, counting backward to ten to relax. “I just really want it to be this time. We waited almost five years for Gwiboon.”

    Gently, Jonghyun pressed a kiss to Jinki’s cheek before laying his head on his shoulder, holding his hands between his own. “I have a really good feeling about this one.”

    Just as he was going to comment, the doors were opened and the Doctor waved them in. “Come. Sungkyu thought you’d want to see this.”

    Jonghyun and Jinki shared a look quickly before pushing off the bench. Gwiboon was at Grandma Kim’s, who had called them shortly before to check in as usual. As they followed the doctor they were led into the ultrasound room. Sungkyu smiled brightly as they came into view. She was comfy in the seat, shirt up a little to uncover her mid-drift, and her hands were clasped just under her chest. Jinki was the first to speak. “Does this mean that it stuck?”

    “Why don’t we get started and see how the baby is doing hmm?” The Doctor softly suggested. At his words Jinki’s hand slipped down to curl around Jonghyun’s, feeling relieved when the man gave him little frequent squeezes. The gel was spread along her lower abdomen, a warning of it could be cold was given, and then after a few moments, the picture appeared. The picture wasn’t much, for the Baby wasn’t that far along yet, looking more like a lima bean than a human. “It seems your embryo stuck very nicely. She’s about 8 weeks along.”

    Jonghyun quietly asked, “Can we.. get a few pictures please?”

    “Of course.” The Doctor smiled as the gel was wiped off. “I’ll see you at your next visit, Sungkyu.” Then their attention fell on the two men almost in tears. “Congratulations.”

-----

Six months later

    Getting the call that Sungkyu was in labor a month early had Jinki twisting his fingers into his shirt, foot shaking nervously the entire drive to the hospital. Gwiboon had been late, so much so that their surrogate had to be induced. The pregnancy for Haneul had been one without complications, and though Jonghyun had been told by the hospital staff that their son was healthy and the month shouldn’t cause many troubles, both of them were worried. It had been close to thirteen hours since they got the call, two since they had been asked to leave the room once she was in active labor. Jonghyun reached over, gently stopping him from twisting his fingers in his shirt, and squeezing his hand. His head was on Jinki’s shoulder, but it lifted to look up at him with a smile. “They are going to be okay.”

    When Jinki smiled, he hoped it passed as comforting, “I know.”

    But as usual, Jonghyun saw right through it, pressing a kiss to Jinki’s cheek. “Trust me, Babe.”

    And then the door opened. There was a nurse coming toward them and in her arms was a small wiggly bundle. At once Jinki was standing, before freezing, looking between the nurse and Jonghyun. His husband laughed quietly, touching his lower back in comfort and support as he moved past him toward the nurse. The woman smiled, offering the newborn to Jonghyun. “6lbs, 7 oz. He’s healthy.”

    “And Sungkyu?” Jinki quietly asked.

    “She’s resting.” The nurse bowed her head. “Someone will come to take him from you for a few more tests. Until then, enjoy your time with your son.”

    When she turned to leave Jinki hesitantly stepped beside him, hand lifting to oh so gently to touch the babe’s head. Jonghyun softly smiled, “You won’t hurt him, Babe.”

    “I.. I know.” He breathed in deeply, exhaling as he felt the softness of Haneul’s head full of hair and the warm of him as he rubbed his cheek against his blanket. “He’s smaller than Gwiboon was.”

    “He is.”

    “Maybe he took after you.”

    Jonghyun glared, “Hey.”

    Jinki pressed a kiss to his temple, hand skimming off his back and around his waist, “I can’t wait to take him home.”

    “Me either, Babe. Here, hold him for a moment.”

    “I- Jonghyun,” But Haneul was being laid in his arms before he could protest more and instantly he relaxed. He mumbled as he ran a finger over Haneul’s softly curled fist. “So.. tiny.”

     He chuckled deeply, “You already have mentioned that.”

     “Bite me.”

     “Can do.”

     “Oh do shut up, Baby.” But the words were soft and without malice. Jinki found his way back to their prior seats, holding Haneul close and rubbing his cheek. Jonghyun returned to sit next to him, playing with the tiny foot that had escaped the swaddle of the blanket. There was still a little ink under his toes, making Jonghyun smile as he wiped it off with the wipes he always had on him since he had Gwiboon.

-----

    Gwiboon looked up from her spot on the floor playing with her legos when she heard someone coming into the room. Once she was certain it was just her Daddy and her little brother, she resumed trying to fit the two pieces in her hands together. Well, that was until she noticed that Haneul was in her spot, curled up on her Daddy’s tummy as they laid on the couch. Frowning, she pushed up onto her feet and made her way over to the couch, gently touching his shoulder. His head turned, a soft smile on his face as he lifted his hand to run a hand over her hair. “Yes, Pumpkin?”

    “He’s in my spot.”

    “What, sweetie?”

    “Hannie, he’s in my spot.”

    “Oh.” Jinki smiled, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. “Can’t you share with your baby brother, Pumpkin?”

    “No.” She pouted deeply. “That’s mine.”

    “Climb up here then, be mindful of him.” Carefully she climbed up by his legs, moving to lay between him and the couch, and laying her head on his chest. “Are you sure you can’t share?”

    “Yes.” She huffed, softly poking her brother’s ear. “He took it.”

    Jinki kissed her hair, moving his right hand to hold Haneul and shifting his left to wrap around Gwiboon. Soon both children were asleep, and even as Jonghyun stepped into the room from his shower, neither woke up. He smiled from the back of the armchair he was leaning onto, “Do you need me to take one of them?”

    “No,” Jinki smiled, looking completely relaxed. “I’m very content.”

    Careful not to wake the two kids up Jonghyun walked over and gently kissed Jinki, fingers skimming over his jaw as he moved just a little to better accommodate him. “I’ll go start dinner. I love you.”

    “I love you too Baby.”

-----

    Everything around him was blurred, fuzzy around the edges, and he couldn’t pinpoint a focal point. The television was on, but the sound from it was distant as if it was a few rooms away and not a just a couple of feet from him. He had to find Gwiboon. She was gone, he didn’t know where she was, but they had her. They had to have her. He heard quick footsteps approaching, but he didn’t acknowledge them. He had to find Gwiboon.

-----

    “Daddy I’m right here.”

Jonghyun looked between Gwiboon and Jinki and his heart broke. In a quick movement, he grabbed Gwiboon as she rushed toward her Daddy, taking her into her room quickly. He kissed her hair, smiling comfortingly. “Stay here, Baby. I’ll be back.”

    “What’s wrong with Daddy?” She softly asked, tears forming in her little eyes.

    “He’s sick Baby. I have to go help him, okay?” She nodded quietly, sniffling, before climbing into her bed and hugging her stuffed otter to her chest. He knew another episode would occur, of course, it was, even with their schedule and his treatment plan, it wasn’t a cure. He had just hoped it never happened until they had explained things to Gwiboon, but some things, like many in their lives as of recent, were out of their control. No matter how much they wished them to be.

-----

    After some time Jinki relaxed. He was sitting on the couch, head in his hands, as his fingers flexed around his glass of water Jonghyun had brought him. “Take all the time you need, Babe. I have to go check on Gwiboon. She saw you.”

    Jinki rose his hand, eyes wide and panicked, but his voice was so soft and weak. “She… witnessed my episode?”

    “Oh Sweet.” Jonghyun cupped his cheek, thumb moving to wipe the tear that had fallen. “You couldn’t have helped it.”

    His eyes fluttered shut, a deep breath taken as he leaned into the touch before his eyes opened again. “I think it’s time.”

    “Time?”

    “To tell her. To explain.” Jinki shook his head, pushing up from the couch by his hands on his knees. “She must be terrified of me.”

    “Jinki that’s not-” But Jinki looked at him with such sad eyes and it stopped Jonghyun’s voice in his tracks. He disappeared down the hall. After a few moments, Jonghyun followed, to find Jinki stopped in front of Gwiboon’s bedroom door. “I can do this if you feel it’s too difficult for you.”

    “It must come from me.” Jinki huffed quietly, before stepping into the room. Gwiboon looked up from the floor, her avengers action figures falling from where she held them. “Pumpkin, can Daddy speak with you?”

    “Are you better Daddy?”

    He flashed a little smile, nervous. “For now. Will you come sit with me on the bed?”

    She stood up, placing her toys on the floor and climbed up beside him. “Why are you sick?”

    “That’s a long story Pumpkin, but it’s time for you to know it, if you wish.” When she smiled up at him, his heart ached slightly and he looked over to where he knew Jonghyun to be. He got a smile in return and it was the courage he needed to continue. Looking back at Gwiboon, he’s reminded by the way she’s gazing up at him and the way she sits is so much like Jonghyun. “When you were littler something bad happened to Daddy. It gave me the scar on my tummy and scars in my head too.”

    “In your head?”

    “Yes, Pumpkin. Sometimes I’m reminded of that time and my mind takes me back. It takes me a minute to get back to the present fully.” He wets his lips, hands shaking slightly. “I’m really sorry I scared you earlier Sweetie.”

    “M’fine.” She mumbled, eyes lowering.

    “No, it’s not Pumpkin. I’m your Father. You should never be afraid of me.” He held out his hand, palm up, and warmth filled him as both of hers rested there, one curling around his thumb. “I love you, Gwi. You know that, right?”

    “I do.” She smiled then, pigtails moving softly against her shoulders. “What happened Daddy?”

    The question is such a simple one, but it makes Jinki’s heart drop. He thought he was prepared to tell her, but now with the opportunity to do just that, he couldn’t figure out how to. Jonghyun had stepped further into the room, fully prepared to take over now, but softly Jinki lifts his hand. He was right. It had to come from him. “You’ll have to forgive me Pumpkin, this is a little hard for me.”

    She scoots over then, keeping his hand in her lap, and Jinki wonders how much the young girl had seen with how much she resembled Jonghyun comforting him. “It’s okay Daddy. You can go slow.”

    With a shuddered breath he curses softly in his mind, knowing he’s failing to keep his emotions in check. “You were just a baby. I had taken you to go grocery shopping and some bad men took us away. They demanded your Papa to do some things to get us back. In the end, I was hurt really badly protecting you and your Papa.”

    He didn’t know he was crying until she was climbing into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and softly saying, “Love you, Daddy,” And the soft sob left his lips.

    He felt the bed dip and Jonghyun’s arms embracing them. Jinki received a kiss to his hair and a softly whispered, “You did well.” Too quiet for their daughter to hear.

----

    They would never have their exact lives back again, they knew, but this life wasn’t so bad. Their little girl would start Kindergarten in a few weeks, just before her fifth birthday. Haneul would be one come December, their little baby growing way too quickly for either of their likings. Jinki still had his moments, triggers slipping through, but he worked hard to have the control he had over his mental illness. They understood it wouldn’t and couldn’t be cured, but it was manageable, and Jinki knew now that no matter what he’d always have Jonghyun on his side.

    The sun was low in the sky, Gwiboon jumping into the pool and giggling each time filled the calm air with glee. Jinki was holding Haneul, laughing every so often when the babe squealed each time his head was dipped back into the water. “Do you like that, Sweetie?”

    Haneul smacked his hands on the water, splashing Jinki in the face softly. Jonghyun slowly shifted his gaze to the other half of his family from Gwiboon. He fondly looked at the way Jinki laughed as Haneul wiggled his chubby legs. Today was the first-day Jinki was swimming without a shirt on, his scar clearing visible on his abdomen. Jonghyun had almost cried seeing him walk out without one on. It was then Jinki’s gaze met his own, a smile curving on his lips. “Are you happy, Babe?”

    Seeing the way Jinki’s face softened, eyes forming crescents as his smile widened. “I am, Baby. I am.”

    That’s all that mattered. They found happiness through everything and they still had each other. That’s what was most important.

A/N: So this is it. Though I left it sort of open-ended to allow an opportunity to revisit this au again in the future. There's a specific scene dealing with how teenage Gwiboon understands Jinki needs to know where she's going even though her friends tease and call him overprotective. but I hope you like it ^-^