“Thank you for this day. I’m looking forward to seeing you again.”

     After I received that text, my heart skipped a beat.

Xxx

     Mom is back from the seminar out of town. She showed me a plastic bag full of stuff that she bought for me. Sweet potatoes, potatoes, more sweet potatoes....

     She unravels her scarf from her neck. It is fall. Everything looks fine and brown and warm and perfect. This was the season when Luhan got married. She hangs her scarf to a hanger and hangs it in the bathroom. “Mom?”

     I sat on the right corner of the sofa in the living room. “I got a job.”

     She smiled at me and said, “I know.” She pulled a tissue from her bag and went back to the bathroom to erase her makeup.

     “I mean, here in Seoul. I am a vocalist of a band. I work there couple of days ago. 9pm to 12am every night. Cool, right?”

     Silence filled the room. After a couple of minutes, she got out of the bathroom and went to living room. “You did not went here for a job. You went here for a vacation. A rest. Quit your job. Right. Now.” Her voice rises. I don’t understand why she’s mad at me.

     “But mom? I want this job! It keeps me busy and forget some stuff.”

     She sat on the other side of the sofa and looked at me. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Honey.”

     I clenched my fist. “It makes me happy! Whenever I sing, I sing my heart out. I enjoyed it. I am distracting myself from my busy life in Barcelona. I don’t want to rot here and gain weight and be a burden to you. I promise, mom. This makes me so happy.”

     She sighed and made a hand gesture that says ‘come over here’ and she gave me a hug. “Okay, as long as it makes you happy.”

     “Thanks mom.” I also wrapped my arms around her. She smells like province and maple syrup. I remember when I was in high school, she was so supportive and proud of me. One day, when Luhan came to our house, he told my mom that he was my suitor and my mom told me to go out with him. She said that she never see me blush like that. I was mad at Luhan I don’t remember why but he made me happy that day.

     I ran upstairs and brought some chips with me. I mean dried sweet potato chips. I looked at the list taped on my mirror. It’s kind of crumpled. I took it out of the mirror and grabbed a pen from my drawer. I drew a line on numbers 1, 2 and now, 3.

5 ways to forget him.

      1.Delete everything that reminds you of him.

      2.Make yourself busy.

      3.Do things that will make you happy; spoil yourself.

4. Entertain suitors
5. Fall in love again

     I switched on my laptop. I feel like watching Netflix. I’ll do way number 3 today. I already did the thing that makes me happy. Music. I can now sing and express my feelings. Spoil myself? Soon, when Naeun invites me to join shopping with her. Naeun is sweet. Naeun is cute. Naeun is married and she needs some attention from his husband, not from me.

     I wonder what it feels like to be married and know that your husband doesn’t love you the way you love him. Thinking about it stings.

     Watch. Chew. Swallow. Watch. Chew. Swallow. Watch. Chew. Swallow. Yawn. Watch. Watch. Watch.

     I didn’t notice that it was already 8:00 pm. I heard my mom yelled from downstairs. The room smelled like stew and some baked potatoes.

Xxx

     The music began. I feel like I’m flying. People are actually listening to me. Some of them are sobers, lonely, exhausted and some are just bored. I can hear them singing the song back to me. I love the feeling.

     I ended my shift with a thank you message for the people who are enjoying my music. They clapped their hands and shouted like I am a superstar.

     I went to the locker room and gathered my things. I saw myself in the mirror. I am wearing black jeans, brown boots, a cherry red off-shoulder top and a g-clef choker I got from Naeun. On my wrist are a plain leather watch and two black bracelets. Naeun’s right. I should do some shopping.

     I opened the door and cold wind welcomed me. I could smell a familiar scent. Not from mom’s or Naeun’s but from someone who is close to me—Kris.

     Two steps and the door closes.

     Someone behind my back hugged me and when I looked back, it was him. Kris.

     “Hey.” He said as he let go of me. Kris scared the out of me.

     I looked at him with piercing eyes and groaned, “Why do you have to do that? The next time you do that, I’ll die from heart attack.” I rolled my eyes. It’s not funny. I almost punched him in the face. He's wearing casual. White shirt, a striped jacket and black jeans.

     He heaved a sigh and intertwined the fingers of his hands. “I’m sorry. I won’t do that again. It’s just that I miss you so much.” He reached for my hand and squeezed it. His hand is so warm. We've been texting for several days.

     “I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I know that nothing’s wrong with you. I have been stalking you for how many years, since we’re in high school.” He smiled, “I remember when I confessed to you way back when we we’re high school, you said that you already like someone and that boy was Luhan. I remember ‘bro code’. Do you still remember the orphanage we used to go?” he asked.

     We leaned on the wall, still standing. His hand is still holding my hand. “We met there when we were kids. Jongin and Me aren't adopted or anything, we just like to hang out there. Luhan was an orphan. He was adopted by a rich couple; the woman is barren. I treated him like a real brother.  We were a ‘triplets’ according to Sister Jung Ah. Me, him and Jongin. Remember her?”

     I nod. I do remember everything.

     “When we were high school, all of us became popular but Luhan was the most popular. He had many side girls who worshipped him. Then, you came. I remember the times you bumped into me, the time you sprained your ankle because your shoe is kind of ripped so I gave you a piggyback ride. I remember when I invited you to dinner in a restaurant and to my surprise, Luhan was there with a random girl, he doesn’t even know her name. I knew he liked you. But I liked you, too. I mean, like. The wine stained your dress and I saw how pissed you were. You went to the toilet to clean up the mess. Moments after, Luhan went to the toilet too and both of you didn’t come back. I knew Luhan was jealous and he’d do anything to snatch you.”

     I smiled as he chuckled and switched his eyes on me.

     “I can still remember when the music club members got drunk in Director Edward’s cabin. We played games that made us wild and sober. Mami revealed herself, that he was Luhan’s ex trying to go back to where they left off or trying to have a revenge, I’m not sure. I watched you suffer the pain. I watched you cried your eyes out because of Mami. I didn’t know what to do because if I did something, you might think that I was taking advantage and stuff. We spent the New Year’s Eve together and you were so sad and upset that we watched the stars and the fireworks collide. You missed your dad’s flight. I confessed and you rejected me. I was hurt but it was okay. I can’t force you to like me. I saw how happy you were when Luhan confessed his love to you a few days later. I saw how your eyes glitter and your smile became wider. I knew you were happy and seeing you that way was enough for me. I moved to Canada to study for college and went back here in Seoul for Luhan’s wedding.”

     I'm surprised that he still remembers everything. I leaned my head to his arm. “I remember that.”

     “Before I went to Seoul, I promised myself that if I see you again, I will never let you go. I saw you at the airport and you were in a hurry. You were heading back to Barcelona. Your eyes were empty and tired. Since then, I started stalking your social media accounts more often.”

     I in. “You did not have a girl friend or anything?”

     “Shush.” He smiled slightly and continues, “I did. I had two girl friends. The first one was when I was in Canada. It didn’t work out for some reason. The second one, we lasted for like two years. But one morning, she woke up and texted me that she wasn’t happy anymore. She doesn’t like me anymore. She doesn’t love me the way I love her. But I guess it’s a tie. When we were in a relationship, I always stayed up late stalking your account. I was a cheater. I am bringing this up because I want you to know me better because I like you, Seohyun. I really do like you and I will not give up that easily this time. I want to ask you if it’s okay to court you.”

    His cheeks bloomed red and his palm produced sweat. His eyes were locked into mine and I don’t know what to say.

4. Entertain suitors popped into my mind.

    “I will not guarantee anything but I will have to say... yes, I am allowing you to court me. But don’t jump to conclusions or assume anything, okay?” because I am not yet ready. Not yet ready to love and not yet ready to move on. One step at a time and I promise to commit myself to a REALationship.

     He nodded and hugged me so tight that I can’t breathe. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” He mumbled. I pushed him slightly and looked up. He is so tall and I can smell his perfume. “Let’s go shopping.”

     “Like, right now? Midnight?” his mouth slightly parted, confused. I nodded. “Let’s go to a 24-hours-open-market where they sell clothes and stuff.”

     I hope I made a good decision. It’s time to move on.

     MOVE. ON. SEOHYUN. TO. WHOEVER’S. SAKE.

A/N: For those who haven’t read the previous fanfic ‘The Casanova’s Jar of Hearts’, here’s a throwback! I just want to make sure that you know what had happened when they were young. Also, I appreciate everything. The subscribers, the votes and especially the comments! I get so stocked whenever I see those orange notifications.

Thank you, Seohan x Seokris shippers.

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