“Jesus! They really let you bring this giant carry-on?”

Stopping to look back, Jeonghan smiled as he watched his boyfriend lug his suitcase out of the trunk. It was much heavier now than it had been when he arrived in LA. There was a lot he wanted to take home to Korea with him.

Reaching his hand backwards, he waited for Joshua to catch up and take it. “You just need to exercise more, Jisoo-ah,” he teased.

Gripping his boyfriend’s hand, Joshua scoffed. “Says the reigning international butterfly champ!”

“Just 100,” Jeonghan said through a small smile. “I don’t have enough stamina to keep speed on the other races.”

“Yeah, and I don’t have enough stamina to even watch you go that fast,” Joshua replied. “You’re an incredible athlete, babe. Don’t hold me to your standards.”

Shaking his head with a cheerful grin, Jeonghan couldn’t help but beam when Joshua complimented him. He’d been swimming for years, but he’d never felt more emphatic about someone’s praise than he did about Joshua’s. Swinging their arms, he looked ahead and said, “I can’t believe the tournament’s already over.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Joshua agreed. But clearly for him it wasn’t about the tournament. His gaze fell to the ground as he thought of the time he had spent with Jeonghan in LA.

“Where did the time go, Jisoo-ah?” Jeonghan asked, turning to him as they stopped at a crosswalk.

Picking up his stare, Joshua looked to his right, and immediately he knew that Jeonghan was sharing the same thoughts. At this point, the two of them had talked about nearly their entire lives with each other. They had about a million selfies together and tried pretty much every niche food place in LA. They had kissed more times than they could count. But obviously none of that was enough. The boy held onto a gentle smile, but his eyes clearly showed the whimper he was desperately holding back. The slight glimmer made Joshua’s heart crack.

But he tried to be strong. Lifting their intertwined hands, he rubbed the back of his against Jeonghan’s cheek. With a small pout, he grinned. “I have no idea.”

No words could capture Jeonghan’s heart as they walked across the street and into the airport. People bustled by with their families and piles of luggage. Security wandered along the corridor, on foot or in those weird carts. There was so much noise; talking, beeping, walking, shouting, everything you’d expect in a place that people of every background passed through every day.

But Joshua could only notice Jeonghan. There was nothing else. And once the boy was gone, he wasn’t sure what would be left.

The two of them walked hand in hand until Jeonghan finally stopped. They were standing just a few yards away from the security check in, and it was finally starting to hit.

Trying not to think too much, Jeonghan cleared his throat and forced a smile. With a huge sigh, he let his shoulders flop as he turned to Joshua and said, “Well, this is me!”

Joshua could just feel every part of him crumble. He knew this was coming. He knew this was what they were here for. But nothing could’ve prepared him for the void that was already starting to form. He didn’t want to say good-bye. He couldn’t let go of this boy he so desperately loved. It had only been two months, but so much of his happiness was with this person. With everything that was happening to him, with his dad and with the universe, none of it mattered when he was with Jeonghan. He didn’t want to—

“Jisoo-ah.”

Lost in his own spiralling sadness, Joshua had forgotten to even try to smile. Pain and sorrow were written all over his face. He shook at the sound of Jeonghan’s voice. Coming into focus, he looked at his boyfriend. “Yeah?” As he looked, he quickly realized his vision was starting to blur, glazed over by his tears.

And Jeonghan knew exactly what he was feeling, cause that’s how he felt too. He couldn’t handle how much his heart was breaking, but…there was nothing he could do about it. He was so in love with Joshua, of course it was going to hurt this much to leave. All he could do was...try to smile, and try to see Joshua’s smile one last time before they had to go their separate ways.

Jeonghan took a few steps so he was standing right in front of him. His chest ached as he stared up at the boy he fell in love with, but he loved to ache for him. Jeonghan smiled. “I love you, Jisoo-ah.”

And seeing that bright, shining smile made Joshua lose it. He dropped Jeonghan’s suitcase with a thud! and threw his arms out to close the boy in the tightest embrace his limbs could muster. Unable to hold back his tears, Joshua cried into the nape of Jeonghan’s neck. But he wasn’t bawling; he was laughing. No matter what he felt, Jeonghan could always make him smile. Exploding with emotions, Joshua smooshed Jeonghan into his body.

“I love you too, Jeonghan,” he laughed into the boy’s skin. Squeezing his eyes shut only made more tears fall. “I love you so freakin’ much.”

Jeonghan felt his legs shake underneath him as he hugged Joshua back. For a moment, they just stood there together, desperately holding onto the thing they loved most in this world. It wasn’t desperate because they were scared of losing that love; it was desperate in that they loved each other so much...there wasn’t anything else left to feel. Neither wanted to let go. Neither wanted to say good-bye.

His face in Joshua’s shoulder, Jeonghan chuckled. Turning just a bit, he whispered in Joshua’s ear, “This isn’t the end, Jisoo-ah.”

Hugging him just a little tighter before releasing enough to pull back and see his face, Joshua stared into Jeonghan’s lovestruck eyes. He blinked away a few tears. “I know,” he said softly, before leaning in and kissing him.

When their emotions finally let them breathe just a little better, the two stepped apart and tried their best to not just fall back into one another’s arms. Keeping their gaze, they both knew it was time.

Joshua bent over to pick up the suitcase he’d dropped and handed it to his boyfriend.

As he took it, Jeonghan grinned. “Thanks for everything.”

Joshua grinned back. “Any time.”

“Ya know, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay Wonwoo for getting me to you,” Jeonghan said, lightening the mood and their hearts.

“I think he’s gonna get real tired of me asking about you all the time.”

Jeonghan chuckled. “Make him hang out with me more, then I can do the same.”

Joshua nodded. “Sure thing.”

For another moment, they just stared into each other’s eyes. There were no words.

Breaking the trance, Jeonghan finally sighed. “I should get going.”

A pang went off in Joshua’s chest. “Right.”

Slowly and with immense difficulty, Jeonghan started to back away. He couldn’t look away. “Take care of yourself, Jisoo-ah.”

He couldn’t take it. “I will,” he said with a smile.

“I mean it!” Jeonghan said, pointing right at the boy’s face as he got further away. “Take care of Vernon, too!”

Joshua rolled his eyes and couldn’t hold back a pained chuckle. “I will!”

“Don’t ever skip breakfast!”

“I won’t!”

Softening his face, Jeonghan added the one thing he knew was always on Joshua’s mind. “And...everything with your dad will be alright.”

Suddenly, as if flooded by this thought, Joshua remembered his dad’s offer: to move to Korea. Never had Joshua ever felt so inclined to reach out to his father than now, with the prospect of following the love of his life to the other side of the world.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t think about it like that. Not now.

So instead, he just felt even more love for the boy who always wanted to look out for him. “I love you, Yoon Jeonghan,” he said one last time.

Jeonghan felt his heart well up. “I love you too, Hong Jisoo.”

Joshua stood there as he watched Jeonghan finally turn around to walk through security. He watched as the guard scanned his ticket and check his passport and let him step through. He watched him toss his luggage onto the conveyor belt. He watched him take off his shoes and empty his pockets. He watched him hold his arms above his head as the machine scanned his body. He watched as they let him through. He watched as he gathered his things and slipped back into his shoes.

And he watched as Jeonghan turned back one last time to see if Joshua was still there. When their eyes met, they both smiled. But Joshua could see, even from as far away as he was, that Jeonghan was close to tears.

Still, Jeonghan waved gently.

Joshua waved back.

He watched as the boy turned and walked into his terminal. Joshua watched until there was no one left to watch.

Then, just like a dream, Jeonghan was gone. And like any person who first wakes up, Joshua was stunned, uncertain if the beautiful boy had ever been with him in the first place.

— — —

“Excuse me!” Junhui said, raising his voice enough so the woman could hear him over the bustling crowd behind him. Holding up the bag of pears, he asked, “Can I pay for these?”

She nodded as Junhui handed her the bag and a five dollar bill. “Thank you,” he said with a smile.

Gripping both straps of his backpack, Minghao watched his boyfriend until he turned to meet his stare. “I thought Lien didn’t like pears?”

“Ya know, my little sister is a very complex person,” he replied, leaning on the fruit stand. “She’s always evolving. One day she hates pears, the next that’s all she can talk about.”

Minghao chuckled. “Well, you’re a good brother for actually going out and getting her stuff she likes.”

He smiled as the woman came back with his fruit and his change. “Thank you,” he said to her again before pocketing the money and stuffing the pears into his book bag. “Making lunch is an art,” he said to Minghao as they walked away. “If I’m gonna do it I’m gonna do it right.”

Minghao always knew Junhui to have that mentality, but for some reason it was even cuter now. With butterflies in his stomach, Minghao reached over and wrapped his hand in Junhui’s as the boy was finishing zipping his bag. As they touched, Junhui’s eyes shot up and met Minghao’s. “I like that about you,” Minghao said through his smile.

Usually it was Junhui who made comments like that, so he couldn’t help but laugh and look away. “Wah, Xu Minghao, you really have become something,” he exhaled.

But Minghao couldn’t resist. Ever since the two of them got together, he wanted to share everything with his best friend. And the fact that Junhui really knew everything that he’d been hiding made him feel even more open to exposing everything inside of himself.

With a slight yank, Minghao pulled himself closer to Junhui’s side and planted a soft kiss right on his cheek. They were walking through a mob of people in the market, but Minghao didn’t care.

But Junhui was still slightly embarrassed. Now really blushing, he shoved Minghao away, but not without a giant grin. “Ya!” he laughed. “Keep it together, man!”

Shaking his head, Minghao decided to listen and settled for just holding the boy’s hand. As they made their way out of the market, he asked, “Why don’t you make me lunch?”

Rolling his eyes, Junhui scoffed. “Cause you’re not six.”

“But I eat lunch,” he pointed out.

Junhui leaned over and looked at him, his head tilted. “Do you? Are you sure you don’t have some special thing the universe gave you that allows you to just absorb energy from food instead of eating it?”

Unable to handle his ridiculousness, Minghao pushed his boyfriend back. “Why are you like this?”

Smiling, Junhui stopped walking once they reached the sidewalk. Beaming at Minghao, he asked, “What do you want for lunch, baby? I’ll see what I can do.”

Feeling his insides race, Minghao still couldn’t believe Junhui called him that. He couldn’t believe any of this. With everything the universe had ever thrown at him, he never imagined that it would one day gift him with the privilege of being called “baby” by the boy he loved most.

Standing before Junhui, he cheekily asked, “Can I have you?”

Still not completely immune to his boyfriend’s lovestruck lunacy, Junhui tried his hardest not to just melt right there. Letting out a sigh, he just rolled his eyes and stepped closer to the boy. “Now that’s where you’re just stupid, baby,” he said. “How am I supposed to cook myself?”

And just overwhelmed with love, Minghao laughed and turned away, pulling the boy along with him. “Then I guess I’ll just have to think of something else!” he exclaimed.

Laughing with him, Junhui followed close behind. “You like pears, don’t you?” he teased.

Looking over his shoulder, Minghao smiled at the best thing that ever happened to him. It didn’t matter what it was; if it was from Junhui, Minghao would love it. “Yes,” he said gladly, “I love pears.”

— — —

Wonwoo stretched out his arms as he and Mingyu finally left the library. “Ahhhh!” he exhaled, loosening all his muscles. “I don’t think I’ve ever stayed in a library for that long.”

Mingyu chuckled as he held onto his boyfriend’s textbook. Tucking it under his arm, he reached out to hold the boy’s hand. “Get used to it. This is where I live every midterm season.”

“I guess it’s not so bad,” Wonwoo replied with a grin. “Studying with good company seems to make it easier.”

Hand in hand, the two of them walked down the steps and headed home to Mingyu’s apartment. It was still early afternoon, but the two had headed off to study early. “Does it though?” Mingyu teased. “You seem to get distracted pretty easily.”

“Can you blame me?!” Wonwoo fired back, looking at his boyfriend in disbelief. “How am I supposed to focus with someone this good looking sitting across from me?”

“I do it just fine,” Mingyu said with a smirk, pulling Wonwoo in so their shoulders rubbed together.

Wonwoo laughed. “That just means I’m not as attractive as you.”

“Or I’m just a better student.”

Wonwoo shrugged. “Why not both?”

Smiling through his lips, Mingyu leaned over and quickly pecked his boyfriend on the side of his head, making Wonwoo’s insides rush. It was always a real treat when Mingyu showed some of his affection at any random moment.

Wonwoo took a second to turn his head and gently smile up at the taller boy. Softly, he said, “I’m really surprised you haven’t gotten tired of me yet.”

“Trust me,” he replied sarcastically, “I am too.”

It had been two weeks since Wonwoo had started jumping from Mingyu’s place, and both of them were happier together than ever, if that was even possible. It was nice for Mingyu to not have to watch Wonwoo run off and try to make it home before 6pm. And it was nice for Wonwoo to know that he wasn’t leaving Mingyu a moment sooner than he had to. But the best part for both of them had to be the mornings.

Mingyu had never been one to wake up too early, but every morning now, promptly at 6am, he would be joined in bed by a rather tired Wonwoo who was ready to share the sheets with him. The two would rest their heads on the same pillow, laying face to face, both in that liminal place between sleep and reality, a place where you can’t tell if it’s a dream or not. Eyes opened or closed, it didn’t matter, they would talk for just a bit before Mingyu engulfed the Jumper boy in his arms and they would fully drift off. Every morning was so warm and so...beautiful for the two of them. Depending on the night/day he had, sometimes Wonwoo would come back with tears, others with a giant smile. And Mingyu would always be there, ready to hold him either way. And both of them loved that.

Remembering all the mornings they had already shared, Wonwoo let out a soft breath. “Ya know,” he said, letting his head fall on Mingyu’s shoulder, “you’ve somehow made all of this a lot more tolerable, Mingyu.”

Mingyu looked over to find the top of Wonwoo’s head. “I’m glad,” he chuckled, shaking his shoulder a bit.

Wonwoo straightened up to meet his boyfriend’s gaze. “I just mean...I can breathe a lot better now.”

Mingyu stayed beside him as Wonwoo walked briskly, swinging their hands through the crisp air as he spoke and stared forward. He spoke easily, but his thoughts were beginning to rattle. It was a habit of Wonwoo’s to pick at any flaws that could get in the way of his comfort.

“Remember you said we would share the burden?”

Mingyu searched his thoughts as Wonwoo clarified.

“You said that...I wouldn’t have to hate the universe alone anymore. That you would hate it with me, and I wouldn’t have to carry it all by myself.”

With a small smile, Mingyu nodded, “Yeah.”

But Wonwoo hesitated. “Does it feel like...I just gave you a burden then?”

Caught off guard, Mingyu furrowed his eyebrows. He squeezed his boyfriend’s hand a little tighter. “What?”

As Wonwoo spoke, he wasn’t trying to insight any sort of response from Mingyu. He didn’t want to upset him or anything. He was just speaking his mind, something that Mingyu allowed him to do so naturally. “Like…, is that weighing on you now? Because you have made it easier for me? Does it mean it’s harder for you now?”

Hearing Wonwoo speak this way, Mingyu knew he was just saying what was on his mind. And he realized himself that he’d never thought of this. Was the burden on him now? That thing that lifted from Wonwoo’s chest...was he now holding it?

But Mingyu knew. He smiled and used his free hand to reach over and lightly push Wonwoo’s chin so they stared face to face. They both stopped walking. “Hey.” He took a second to just admire the boy’s slight worry. He was so cute. “You haven’t given me any burden.”

With a small pout, Wonwoo wasn’t sure about that. “But you said that we share it. If that’s the case, then I did give you some.”

“Wonwoo, it doesn’t work like that,” Mingyu said, smiling even bigger.

“But then where—”

“Your hatred for the universe,” Mingyu interrupted him, not letting him spiral in his own head any further, “isn’t an actual physical thing. You feel it, but it’s not actually there. So, when we share it, it’s not like you’ve actually taken part of it and put it on top of me.” He lightly patted Wonwoo’s cheek. “Somehow, when we share it, it becomes lighter all together.”

For whatever reason, that simple explanation meant so much to Wonwoo. Really taking in Mingyu’s words, Wonwoo looked at him and said, “So, that...weight that I felt…”

“It’s gone, baby,” Mingyu gladly told him. “You didn’t give it to me. But you can breathe easier now...and that’s…” He took a second to find his words. Mingyu wanted nothing more than to help Wonwoo with his strife against the universe, the thing that was always eating at him. And he knew he could help bring Wonwoo love and happiness and healing as best he could whenever he could, but that battle with the universe was something he was uncertain about. He hated the universe with the boy, but he wasn’t sure if that was enough. But just hearing Wonwoo describe it the way he did, to hear him worry about possibly putting that burden on Mingyu, he knew. He knew that it really was getting better.

Mingyu felt his heart well up as he smiled at Wonwoo. “That’s the best thing I could ask for.”

And now it was Wonwoo’s turn to realize the same thing. Wonwoo knew that Mingyu made him happy and made him feel amazing, but the universe was always separate from them. It was just the same old thing all the time. But now...it was less. It was actually less.

For a second, Wonwoo just let that settle in. He didn’t have words. The only ones he could find were the same ones he always had with him.

“I love you, Mingyu,” Wonwoo said, still rather dazed.

Mingyu smiled. He leaned in and lightly kissed his cheek. “I love you too.”

— — —

10:00am.

Joshua opened his eyes to find a brick wall. He could feel his guitar on his back up against what he assumed was the other side of the alley. His ears were immediately filled with the sounds of the city, cars bustling by and footsteps rushing with purpose. In another moment, as he collected himself from the jump, he heard people. He could hear their blurred conversations and laughs as they moved by the crack between the buildings. And it took him another second, right before his heart dropped, to realize that they were speaking Korean.

Almost frantically, Joshua emerged from the alley and stepped onto the sidewalk. Blasted with light, he squinted and shaded his eyes before surveying his surroundings. But the second he read a sign that said “Uji lane” in Hangul, his hand fell to his side, and it felt like his chest did the same. He knew exactly where he was.

“You gotta be kidding me,” he muttered, heartbroken and in disbelief.

He was in Seoul.

— — —

“Jihoon.”

Even though it was just one of their names, both Jihoon and Soonyoung looked up from their computers and turned to the opening of their cubicle to find one of their coworkers. “Yeah,” Jihoon quickly replied.

Their coworker pointed towards the entrance of the office and smiled. “You have a visitor.”

Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows as he stood up. “A visitor?” he said, confused as she walked away.

“Are you expecting anyone?” Soonyoung asked, also caught off guard.

“No,” Jihoon answered as he stepped out. “We never expect anyone.” But right when those words left his mouth, he felt his insides turn as he laid eyes on who was waiting for him.

Standing by the door, three cubicles down, was Seungcheol in a scarf and black coat holding a tray of coffee. His leg was bouncing slightly as he waited, but the second he saw Jihoon’s pink hair pop out, he was steady. A goofy smile came to his face as he waved.

Still surprised and slightly embarrassed, Jihoon quickly made his way to him. “What’re you doing here?” he asked just as he approached him.

Even after hearing that question so many times, Seungcheol knew this time was different. He smiled even bigger as he stared down at Jihoon before him. “What does it look like I’m doing here?” he cheekily replied, nudging him with the tray. “I’m stalking you.”

Immediately, Jihoon saw the weird looks from some coworkers standing nearby who must have overheard. Looking over at them, he gave them an awkward smile and a small nod before taking Seungcheol by the arm and pulling him aside. “Seriously, what’re you doing here?” he whispered.

“You couldn’t get lunch today,” Seungcheol explained, still just happy to see Jihoon, “so I just wanted to make sure you got something in your system.”

And hearing that made the tension leave Jihoon’s body. He took a second and finally looked into Seungcheol’s warm, smiling eyes, making his heart nearly pound out of his chest.

For the past two weeks, since that rainy day Seungcheol came and sat beside him, Jihoon and Seungcheol had...become more acquainted, in a sense. They’d actually been getting lunch together every day. At first, it had been Seungcheol stalking Jihoon to figure out where the boy went to eat during his break. He would camp out in front of Pledis building all morning and wait for the pink hair to appear, then join him at his usual cafe. Jihoon would object, but not nearly hard enough to mean it. Eventually, the two of them just knew to meet.

But yesterday, Jihoon had told Seungcheol he couldn’t make it so…

“I brought you a muffin too,” Seungcheol said, twisting his hips towards Jihoon. “It’s in my pocket.”

Jihoon raised an eyebrow at him. “It’s in your pocket?”

Lifting the tray to the boy’s eye-level, he said, “I ran out of hands!”

Jihoon couldn’t contain his smile as his heart thumped. He reached out and took the tray from Seungcheol. “Why are there three drinks?”

“Man, is all you do ask questions?” Seungcheol teased.

“It’s cause you’re really bad at answering them,” Jihoon replied.

Seungcheol chuckled. “You got me there. One of them’s mine,” he said as he took the dark coffee. “The other’s for Soonyoung. I don’t know his order so I got him the same thing as you. I hope he likes it.”

“You know my coffee order?” Jihoon asked, surprised.

Unable to keep in his smile, Seungcheol dramatically rolled his eyes. “Again with all the questions,” he groaned. “Yes, okay Jihoon, I know your coffee order. God. You like an iced americano, double sugar. Why are you so difficult?”

Trying his best to contain himself, Jihoon held back a laugh. For a moment, he just got lost in Seungcheol’s presence.

And the taller boy knew how that felt. Jihoon was pretty damn captivating.

After a second, Seungcheol caught himself before he got lost in Jihoon’s eyes. “Mmm!” He cleared his throat and straightened himself up. “Anyway, yeah! I just came to give you those. Oh! And…” With his free hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, brown paper bag. “A banana nut muffin!” He lightly placed it on the tray where his drink used to be. “I know you don’t usually get muffins when we eat, but that’s my favorite kind.”

“Thanks…, Seungcheol,” Jihoon said, only a bit awkwardly because he was just so taken aback by the boy being there. But taken in the best way possible. “It’s actually my favorite too.”

Seungcheol smiled even bigger. “It was meant to be.”

At this point, Jihoon couldn’t contain his blush. Immediately looking away, he tried to get it to stop. “Why are you like this?” he asked under his breath.

Pleased with Jihoon’s reaction, Seungcheol figured that was his cue to go. “Now that question I definitely can’t answer,” he replied.

Letting out a sigh, Jihoon finally managed to look Seungcheol in the eye again. “Thanks again.”

“We’re still good for tomorrow, right?”

He nodded with a small grin.

Seungcheol did the same as he started to back away. “Cool. I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah.”

“Bye Jihoon,” he said as he opened the glass door out of the office.

“Bye Seungcheol,” Jihoon said back.

Seungcheol gave one last wave over his shoulder before quickly catching the elevator back down to the lobby.

After he was out of sight, Jihoon headed back to his desk, stomach completely filled with butterflies. But he quickly wiped any semblance of joy from his face the second he saw Soonyoung peeking out from their cubicle.

From where he was, Soonyoung was able to see the entire encounter, and he was so happy with what he saw. Since Jihoon had let go of the Jumper story, Soonyoung had been rightfully worried about him. But lately, Jihoon seemed to be doing better and Soonyoung couldn’t figure out why. Now it all made sense.

With a smug smile, Soonyoung waited for Jihoon to join him back in their office space. “That was so cute,” he said.

Without looking up, Jihoon placed one of the coffees on Soonyoung’s desk. “Shut up.”

He watched as Jihoon sat down and took a bite of his banana nut muffin. Grabbing and unwrapping a straw, Soonyoung grinned even bigger. “You should date him.”

“Shut up.”

— — —

Knock! Knock!

“I wonder who that could be,” Wonwoo sarcastically said as he stood up and headed for the door.

Mingyu chuckled as he watched his boyfriend head to the door. “Hmmm, I have no idea,” he said in the same tone, both of them knowing full well who it was.

Wonwoo smiled as he opened the door.

“Well, well, well, look what the wind blew in,” he said spreading his arms out.

Even while he was down, Joshua truly loved to see his friend. “What’s up, Wonwoo?” he said as he immediately went in for a hug.

“Hey man.” Wonwoo squeezed him tightly before letting him go.

Mingyu got up and greeted Joshua with a nice bro hug. “Welcome back, Joshua,” he said as he patted his back.

Joshua smiled at him as they separated. “Good to see you again, Mingyu.” Before he could say anything else, Joshua felt something brush against his leg. He smiled and bent down. “Good to see you too, Mr. No Name.” The grey cat purred as he behind his ear.

Glad to see two of his favorite people in the same place, Wonwoo smiled. He was about to close the door, but he was quickly joined by a third.

“Wait, hyung!” Wonwoo heard right as he felt a body ram against the outside of the door, pushing back it against him.

“Woah!” he exclaimed as Chan came busting into the apartment. “Chan!”

Hunched over forward, Chan was panting as he tried to catch his breath. “Sorry!” he shouted, holding up a hand. “I saw you were about to close the door and I just got here!”

All still surprised, the three older boys glanced at each other before laughing. Joshua reached out his hand to help Chan stand back up straight. “You could’ve just knocked and we would’ve opened the door again. We knew you were on your way.”

Still sounding pretty exhausted, Chan replied, “I don’t know why this seemed like the better idea.” Wiping his forehead, he grinned. “I just wanted to see you as quickly as possible, hyung.”

Joshua scoffed as he ruffled Chan’s hair. “Whatever you say, Chan.” But he wholeheartedly accepted the sentiment.

“How was your jump?” Mingyu asked, something he’d gotten used to asking.

“Not bad,” Joshua said as he took off his guitar. Mingyu kindly took it from him and put it against the couch as the boy peeled off his other layers. “I wasn’t in the bad part of town. That’s all you can really ask for.”

“And you’re here with us!” Chan added, giving him a nice smack on the back before plopping himself down on the armchair. Laying on the seat’s arm, Sushi was unphased, letting Chan easily pet his back. “Hey, buddy.”

Joshua weakly nodded. “Yeah.”

Standing beside him, Wonwoo could easily see his friend’s face. He could see that sunken expression across his cheeks and that slight cloudiness in his eyes. Something was wrong. “You okay, Josh?” he asked.

Shaking himself, Joshua widened his eyes. “Yeah,” he said heavily as he sulked over to the couch. Dropping himself in the cushion, his fingers immediately found his temple. Rubbing circles into his forehead, he lied, “I’m fine.”

But no one in the room was buying it. “Really?” Wonwoo pushed, coming over to sit beside him. “Cause you really don’t seem fine.”

Picking up the grey cat, Mingyu sat on the other side of his boyfriend as they all listened.

Joshua sighed. Letting his hand fall, he stared at his fingertips. His mind couldn’t help but be reminded of Jeonghan, and the last time he got to hold the boy’s hand. He felt a pang inside his chest.

“Hyung?”

Coming to, Joshua turned to Wonwoo. He could see his concern. Glancing at the other two, he could see all of their concern. Realizing there was no point holding it in, Joshua let them know what was on his mind.

“I had to say bye to Jeonghan today,” he told them.

There was a pause as all of them understood what that meant. Wonwoo and Mingyu especially knew how it felt to part ways with the person you loved.

“I’m so sorry, man,” Wonwoo said, gripping Joshua’s shoulder.

Even though he was the most foreign to relationships, Chan had no problem empathizing with his friend. From the beginning, he knew how much Jeonghan meant to him, and he knew how hard it would be for Joshua to say goodbye. “Did you take him to the airport?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I watched him up until he was completely gone.” It had only been a few hours ago, but Joshua already missed him like crazy. He clutched the couch as he tried not to think of how much his heart ached watching Jeonghan walk out of sight. “We left it on really good terms and we both agreed this wasn’t the end.”

“That’s good,” Chan said.

“Yeah,” Joshua agreed, nodding along. For some reason, it was nice to hear that affirmation. “Yeah it is good.” Suddenly, his leg began to shake. Joshua tried to control his body, but clearly it was acting on its own. He bit the inside of his cheeks trying to hold back the blistering thoughts that were flying through his head, the thoughts that flooded him the second he realized he was in Seoul. “But…”

It was then that Wonwoo knew exactly what was going through his head. His heart sank. “But now you’re in Korea.”

Blowing hot air out of his nose, Joshua sprang to his feet and screamed, “I’M IN ING KOREA!”

Immediately, the two cats in the room leapt down from where they were lounging and ran off to Mingyu’s room. Joshua continued to let out his cries of frustration, clutching his head and screaming to the ceiling. “AGHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The other three didn’t know how to react, mostly because...this was a perfectly reasonable response to what Joshua was thrown into.

Wonwoo and Chan had never seen Joshua so furious. If anyone, it was Wonwoo who had made more of a scene with his troubles. Joshua was the eldest, and had arguably been dealt the worst hand in life out of all four Jumpers. But even so, he was always level-headed. He never let his upbringing be an excuse. If anything, it made him stronger against the ridiculousness of the universe. But unfortunately, today was too much.

“OUT OF ALL THE ING PLACES IN ALL THE ING WORLD!” he shouted, sweat dripping down the side of his face. “BY GOD, AND OUT OF ALL THE DAYS?!”

Having usually been the one to freak out, Wonwoo didn’t know what to do.

But Chan quickly got to his feet and went over to Joshua, taking him by the arms and trying to calm him down. “Hyung! It’s okay!”

“CHAN, IT’S NOT OKAY! YOU KNOW IT’S NOT OKAY!”

“I know!” Chan hollered back, “But it has to be! You can’t let it get to you like this!”

Flaming, Joshua tried to wriggle out of his grip, but Chan was much stronger than he let on. “Of course it’s gonna ing get to me! Do you see what the ED UP UNIVERSE IS DOING?! DO YOU SEE HOW ING MESSED UP THIS IS?!” Trying to catch his breath, Joshua could see the worry in Chan’s eyes, but that wasn’t enough to get him to stop.

“The DAY that Jeonghan left, the universe decided to throw me here! It’s as if it’s LAUGHING at me for finally finding the one thing that I loved more than I thought I could! It ing brought me to where Jeonghan’s gonna be EVEN BEFORE HE ING GOT HERE!”

Panting, Joshua could feel Chan’s grip tightening on his arms. Feeling all of his anger right at his chest, he wanted to yell more. But Chan wouldn’t let him.

“I know, hyung. I know...exactly how insane it is,” Chan said, lowering his voice in hopes that Joshua would do the same. If he could lower his voice, he could lower his heart rate, and maybe his frustration.

Breathing hotly, Joshua took a second. He could feel his insides exploding, but somehow Chan had managed him to cool him down even in the slightest. Closing his eyes, Joshua saw Jeonghan’s smile before he forced his lids back open. He let out one giant sigh before he went on. This time speaking lower, but still seething with anger. “In a few hours, the person I love most on this planet is gonna be 30 minutes away from here. The person I just had to say goodbye to...for who knows how long...will be a subway ride away. Jeonghan will be so close by…” Joshua could feel his heart break. “...and I won’t be able to see him.”

Wonwoo and Mingyu sat and listened to the downright cruelty that the universe was inflicting on Joshua. Both of them imagined how that must’ve felt. To have to leave the person you loved...to already have to deal with that distance and that goodbye and that heartbreak...and then to have to deal with all of that while only being a few minutes away...and not be able to see them...it was too much. But there was something else Joshua had to deal with too.

“Maybe you can see him,” Chan said optimistically. “The universe threw you here for a reason. What if it was to see Jeonghan? What if it was to let you know that you two really can beat the distance?”

But before Joshua could even scoff and argue…

“His dad,” Wonwoo said. Chan’s head immediately turned to find Wonwoo’s frustrated expression. “He thinks it’s his dad.”

And upon hearing that, Chan’s shoulders slumped and his grip loosened. He had forgotten about that part.

Setting himself free, Joshua in his cheeks. Looking away, he groaned. “The ing universe...probably wants me to make amends with my dad.” He closed his eyes. “You see, Chan. It doesn’t care about me or Jeonghan or the one thing that actually made me happy. The universe stopped me and made me believe it was for Jeonghan, when really it was the same day my father finally came to LA to find me.” He scoffed at the ridiculousness. “And I know it was for my dad, cause the second I rejected his offer, I was back to jumping.”

“My dad gave me an offer to move to Korea, and I said no,” he continued. “I said no...because my dad deserves nothing from me. All he ever did was break my heart and make me feel worthless. All he did was hurt me. And for years, I was able to get over that. I moved on and lived better without him. But now, it’s like the ing universe doesn’t care about that.”

Turning back to look at Chan, Joshua slowly said, “The universe never cared about me and Jeonghan. It never cared about me. It took my mom from me and left me my terrible dad. It never cared to make me happy. The universe has only ever thrown me around...to laugh at me. Because today, out of all the days, it decided to bring me here.”

As Joshua finished speaking, the entire room fell silent no one had anything to say.

As he sat and listened, Mingyu knew it was all too much. Each time he met them and each time he heard their stories, Mingyu learned something new from the Jumpers. Being with Wonwoo, he had already learned plenty. But knowing that each and every one of them faced such cruelty so often and so easily…

It was heartbreaking.

But after a moment of silence, Chan finally spoke.

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

Joshua’s eyes came into focus. It wasn’t until now did he realize they had glazed over with tears. He blinked them away to see Chan more clearly. The looked slightly up at him as he spoke.

“ the universe.”

Suddenly, Joshua was taken aback. So were Wonwoo and Mingyu. It wasn’t because Chan had never cursed, but Chan had never said that to the universe. He was the boy who loved jumping, the one who always had a positive way of looking at their circumstances, trying as best he could to get that across to his friends. Often times, it didn’t work to fully persuade anyone to fall in love like he did, but it always helped. This was different.

Chan sighed. “If the universe is gonna play with you like that, it.” He took a second to see that Joshua was listening. “The universe deserves nothing from you, hyung. So you shouldn’t care what the hell it might be telling you.”

Joshua listened closely. “We don’t know why it does what it does, but if what it’s doing to you only breaks your heart...then never give into it,” Chan said.

“Chan, we know it’s no that si—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Chan interrupted. “Joshua, if the universe truly has a reason for everything it does, maybe the reason for you...is to defy it.”

Joshua furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“I don’t know,” Chan admitted, as he threw out his arms. “What I’m saying is...just don’t listen to it anymore. Don’t even ing bother with it, because clearly you’re right. It never cared about you. So you shouldn’t care about it.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t try to fix things with my dad?” Joshua asked.

“ no,” Chan said sternly. “If that’s what the universe wants…, then it’s wrong!”

Joshua let that sink in for a second. It’s...wrong?

And Chan could see the gears working in his head. Suddenly, he turned to face Wonwoo. “Hyung!”

Startled, Wonwoo replied, “Yeah!”

“What do we know about the universe?”

“What?” Wonwoo uttered, completely thrown off.

Chan repeated, “What do we know about the universe?”

“That it ing ,” Wonwoo instinctually replied.

Motioning with his hand, Chan nodded. “Yes, okay, but what do we know?”

“We know...a lot of things,” Wonwoo said. “We know we jump at 6 relative to where we’re born. We know we don’t jump to the same place two nights in a row. We know not to tell anyone. We know...everything happens for a reason?”

But clearly that wasn’t the answer Chan was looking for. “Yes, and…”

As he listened, Mingyu recalled all the conversations he’d had with the Jumpers. He remembered what Joshua had learned from his dad. He remembered what Wonwoo had learned from Minghao.

“We know that it breaks its own rules,” Mingyu said.

Chan smiled. “Of course it’s the non-Jumper.” He turned back to face Joshua. “The universe breaks its own rules, and apparently differently for different people. So if it can break the rules, you most certainly can too.”

Once again, the room fell silent, but this time in complete awe.

Joshua’s mind raced. Surely this idea of not following what the universe was out there, but the way Chan put it…

Maybe the reason for me...is to defy it? I shouldn’t listen to it at all? Just... it entirely? Joshua couldn’t help but think. Obviously, he hadn’t listened to the universe before. Just a month ago when his dad came by, he hadn’t listened then. So is Chan telling me...to just keep not listening? Then what about…

“And about Jeonghan,” Chan said, interrupting Joshua’s exact thoughts. “You can do what you think is best.”

“What do you…”

Chan closed his eyes and nodded. “You know what I mean, hyung.” Opening them, he gave a small smile. “If you want to see him, you should.”

Joshua’s eyes grew wide. Suddenly his heart was racing. “Chan, I—!”

“No!” Chan said, holding up his hand. “Just think about it. I know it’s crazy and I know it would mean...explaining a lot. But if he’s worth breaking the rules for, you go and break those rules.” Chan glanced over at Wonwoo. “God knows, one of us has already done that,” he said, clearly referring to Wonwoo telling Mingyu his secret the third time they hung out.

“Hey!” Wonwoo immediately cried out. “That was…”

“That was what, hyung?” Chan asked, teasingly.

Retracting back into himself, Wonwoo said under his breath, “That was just a spur of the moment.”

Mingyu couldn’t help but smile. He reached over and grabbed his boyfriend’s hand. “I’m glad it was.”

Wonwoo smiled back at him.

Chan looked at Joshua and said, “It’s up to you, okay Josh? If you go see Jeonghan while you’re here, it’s totally up to you. the universe. Do what you think is best.”

Joshua’s thoughts were racing once again. See Jeonghan? Tell him everything? Get to be with him again, even if just for a little while?

But before he decided to think about that, Joshua realized how impactful Chan’s words were. Somehow, this boy had managed to ease him back to his senses. Not only that, but give him a whole new way to deal with his suffering. He couldn’t help but smile.

Giving Chan’s arm a giant smack, Joshua said, “Thanks Chan.”

“Ow!” Chan winced, rubbing his arm profusely. “You didn’t have to hit me so hard!”

“I guess I’m just checking to make sure if you’re actually real,” he teased. “I really needed that advice.”

Feeling the love, Chan smiled back. He nodded. “Anytime hyung.”

Wonwoo was amazed. For so long, he had been dealing with his own misery that he hadn’t been around to help his friends. But now that he was finally feeling better, now that he was finally back on his feet for some time, he could see that they really were all in this struggle together. And Chan really did an amazing job of getting them through it.

Seeing Joshua was feeling a lot better, Wonwoo shouted out, “Ya, Chan!” They both looked over at him. “Where was all this great advice when I was getting ed by the universe?!” he teased.

Immediately, Mingyu and Joshua burst out laughing as Chan tried to defend himself. “I don’t know, hyung! You had Mingyu! You didn’t need me!”

“I didn’t talk to Mingyu for weeks!” Wonwoo shouted back. “You couldn’t have gave me this ‘ the universe’ spiel?!”

“I’m sorry!”

All of them laughed together as Chan and Wonwoo went at it. Joshua slowly made his way back to his seat, feeling his heart also slow down. As he sat there amongst his friends, he was slightly overwhelmed with how much better he was feeling. Truly his circumstances were beyond frustrating, but the way Chan put it...made it feel so much clearer.

the universe, Joshua thought. It was a phrase that he’d been saying for so long, but now it had new meaning. the universe...I can see Jeonghan.

And with that thought in mind, Joshua felt even better

hey guys...has it been 5 months already? god doesnt time fly when you lie...XD ok but in all seriousness i am SO SO SOOO SORRY I'VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG!! these past few months have just been very intense writers block or SOMETHING cause oh my god again im so sorry for not updating in forever T_T id actually been writing this chapter in phases just when i could get myself to write so like the first part with jihan was written like all the way back in september but i just couldnt get a lot of the other stuff going so i finished it just now and AGH YEAH XD IVE MISSED WRITING GUYS IVE MISSED THIS STORY IVE MISSED YOU ALL!! AGH ITS GOOD TO BE BACK ITS LIKE 5AM AND I AM LIVING XD but again im so so so sorry and ill really try not to let this happen again

agh anyway thank you so much as always for your reading and commenting and subscribing and upvoting!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! im sure you guys have noticed that with my chapters theres usually so many different stories and a lot of the members are just in different places personally so its...a lot of different emotions everywhere XD I DIE WRITING I SWEAR MY HEART GIVES OUT OTL i know ive been away but i see new people finding this story every so often and leaving comments and some of you guys coming back and just its always so nice to hear from you guys so thank you thank you for your continuous support even while im away <3 happy new year to everyone i know a lot has happened in the past few months so i hope your hearts are well and youre getting through each day cause thats really all we can do AND YOURE DOING IT AMAZINGLY <3 again thank you guys for everything and i can honestly promise you the next update will come much faster than this one XD

ps like usual sorry for any typos XD its super late i will fix those in post <3