“Here’s another one, Vernon,” Joshua said as he tied together the ends of the bracelet and tossed it into the growing pile on the ground. 

Sweating, Vernon was able to let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Josh. Just…” 

“A million more to go,” Jeonghan chuckled as he helped the effort. 

Vernon wiped his brow and looked around at all the bags of colorful beads and stretchy-string. “Basically,” he said weakly. 

Sitting next to Jeonghan on the ground, Joshua laughed at his cousin. Starting another bracelet, he cut the appropriate amount of string and said, “I can’t believe you agreed to make four hundred of these all by yourself.” 

“Agh! I know!” Vernon hollered, writing down two tally marks on his sheet of paper, one for Joshua’s and one for the one he’d just finished. 

“What club is this for again?” Jeonghan asked, nudging Joshua in the ribs to pass him the bag of smaller beads. 

“It’s a volunteer club that helps out the local elementary schools that are struggling,” he explained. “We go there and hang out with the kids and fundraise to help get them class art supplies or books or other things like that.” 

“Wow, Hansol, that’s really awesome,” Jeonghan complimented him. 

Vernon smiled. “Thanks. And thanks for helping me. We’re doing this big event next week and we’re gonna hand these out to the kids who participate. Obviously, we want a lot of them to participate.” 

“If we make extras, can we keep them?” Joshua asked as he fit his new one to his own wrist. 

Vernon scoffed. “Think of the children, hyung!” 

Jeonghan laughed as he watched his playful boyfriend. “That would look good on you.” 

“Yeah? What colors do you think I should use?” he asked with a grin. 

“I like blue,” Jeonghan said, pointing to the bag filled with different shades of his favorite color. 

Joshua nodded and started choosing from there. 

Vernon smiled as he watched his cousin and his new boyfriend. It had been four days since Joshua stopped jumping, and things were going great. When it first happened, Joshua had come home that night and completely surprised Vernon. After Jeonghan went to sleep, the two had stayed up talking about everything. Both of them knew that this wasn’t permanent, that Joshua could start jumping again at any moment. They suspected it would probably be when Jeonghan went back to Korea. But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he stopped, and it was for someone special. 

Scanning through all the ones they’d finished, Vernon was thoroughly satisfied. Quickly getting to his feet, he said, “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna get more string!” 

“Okay!” Jeonghan said as the boy disappeared from the room. 

As Vernon scampered off, Joshua quickly finished. “Ta-dah,” he said, holding up the cute blue bracelet to Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan gasped and gave him a small round of applause. “Jisoo-ah, it’s marvelous!” he exclaimed in an exaggerated voice. 

Joshua flashed a toothy grin. Reaching over, he held Jeonghan’s hand and gently slid the bracelet onto his wrist. “Look at that. It fits.” 

Blushing, Jeonghan smiled at the gift and then at his boyfriend. “I love it, babe.” 

Joshua bit his lip before leaning over and kissing him on the forehead. “I’m glad.” 

All warm and tingly, Jeonghan was prepared to comment more on his affection, but Vernon came scampering back into the room. “Hyung, I think the string might be in your room. Can you go check?” 

Somewhat reluctant to let go of his boyfriend’s hand, Joshua stood up and said, “Sure.” He gave Jeonghan a small smile before leaving the room. 

Vernon could easily see the glow on Jeonghan’s cheeks as he smiled back. “Things are going really well for you two, huh?” 

“You could say that,” Jeonghan happily replied. 

And Vernon was happy to hear. “Ya know,” he said, “I’ve never seen Josh like this before.” 

Curious to hear where this was going, Jeonghan listened. 

“He’s always had this fear of...people leaving him,” Vernon explained as he separated the finished bracelets into different piles. “It’s rough just having the two of us out here, especially with everything with his dad.” Tilting his head up, Vernon gently smiled at the person who captured his cousin’s delicate heart. “I’m just so happy you joined us, Jeonghan.” 

Even with his blossoming relationship with Joshua, Jeonghan never forgot how great Vernon was. He smiled back at him. “Thank you for welcoming me,” was all he could say. 

And Vernon didn’t need anymore to know that he really meant it. 

Just then, Joshua yelled from his bedroom, “Vernon, I can’t find it! It might be in the kitchen!” 

Getting to his feet, Vernon hollered back, “Okay! I’ll check!” He proceeded to open the drawers in search for this string when… 

Knock! Knock! 

Scuffling through all their miscellaneous junk, Vernon called to the living room, “Hey Jeonghan, could you do me a favor and get that?” 

Pushing himself off the ground, Jeonghan replied, “Sure!” as he jogged over and opened the front door. He wasn’t sure what to expect, but he said, “Hello!” as politely and in his best American accent. 

On the other side of the doorway stood a man in a black suit with a dark blue tie. He looked to be in his late forties, early fifties, with his hair fading from black to grey as you approached the sides of his head. He wore glasses and wasn’t much taller than Jeonghan. He didn’t smile. 

Staring at someone he didn’t recognize, the man asked, “Hi. I’m looking for Joshua Hong or Vernon Chwe. I was told this was their last known address.” 

Confused by most of those English words, Jeonghan clearly recognized those two names. He nodded politely at the stranger before turning to the kitchen and calling Vernon over, “Hansol, it’s someone looking for you or Jisoo!” 

Hearing this person speak Korean, the man immediately switched languages. “Oh, you’re Korean,” he said, holding out his hand to shake Jeonghan’s. “Nice to meet you. I’m—” 

“UNCLE!” 

Jeonghan and the stranger quickly shifted their gaze to the startled Vernon. Staring at the man at their doorfront, Vernon couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He could feel the sweat forming on his forehead and his heart racing. This was someone he hadn’t seen in years. This was someone who abandoned his cousin. This was someone who, after a longer look, shared an incredible resemblance to Joshua. 

Joshua’s dad could see the shock on his nephew’s face. “Vernon, it’s good to see you,” he said, the smallest inkling of a smile coming through his lips. 

Vernon had no idea what was going on, but he had a feeling it wasn’t good. Taking a step forward, he asked the only thing that came to mind. “What’re you doing here?” 

He said, “I’m looking for Joshua.” 

“Why?” Vernon quickly fired back, a tinge of anger in his voice. 

And Jeonghan could hear that. 

Joshua’s dad hardly batted an eye. “Because we’re family.” 

Vernon’s blood started to boil, but before he could say anything else… 

“Umm,” Jeonghan meekly interrupted, getting Vernon’s attention. “Hansol, this is your uncle?” he asked. 

It was then that Vernon remembered the version of Joshua’s story that Jeonghan knew. Jeonghan didn’t know that when Joshua’s mom died, his dad ran away and completely left him behind. In Jeonghan’s mind, Joshua’s dad was in a coma in the hospital. He wasn’t a complete and total scumbag, and he definitely couldn’t show up to their door like this. 

Trying again, Joshua’s dad turned to Jeonghan and stuck out his hand. “I’m—” 

“Josh’s uncle!” Vernon shouted over him as he shoved his hand away. He didn’t care that he was being disrespectful. This was someone who didn’t deserve his respect. Looking at Jeonghan, he said, “He’s mine and Josh’s uncle.” 

Sensing how strange this all was, Jeonghan nodded. “Oh, nice to meet you.” 

And before Joshua’s dad could make any other claims or correct his nephew… 

“Found it!” Joshua shouted from his room. As he came into sight, Vernon felt his heart drop. Smiling down at the giant spool of string in his hands, Joshua chuckled, “It was underneath that untouched box of construction paper I—” But the second he looked up, he froze. 

Vernon immediately took Jeonghan by the wrist and pulled him away. “We should really leave these two to themselves.” 

Confused, Jeonghan stammered, “Oh—okay,” as he was dragged away. But when he looked over his shoulder, he felt his chest sink when he saw that horribly distraught look on his boyfriend’s face. He’d never seen him look like that before. 

It was a few moments after the bedroom door shut before either of them said anything. 

Finally… 

“Hi son,” Joshua’s dad said, smiling in a way that Joshua never knew him to do. 

Joshua felt his eye twitch. 

“Dad.” 

— — — 

“Your waiter will be with you whenever you’re ready.” 

“Thank you,” Soonyoung said as the hostess walked away. Nervous, he anxiously turned to look at the person sitting across from him, but the boy was just staring down at his menu, obviously trying not to make eye contact. “Thanks for meeting me.” 

Seokmin slowly peeled his eyes off the table to find Soonyoung gently gazing at him. That face always gave him butterflies. Sitting up straight, Seokmin cleared his throat. “No problem.” 

For a second, both of them just stared with nothing to say. When the silence prevailed, they both snapped and shifted their stares to their menus. 

Squeezing his hands under the table, Soonyoung didn’t know where to start. He was a nervous wreck. It was just yesterday when he’d gone to the boy he was chasing after...to tell him that he had still chased after Wonwoo. In whatever respects it was, it felt horrible. It was awful. Soonyoung felt despicable. His guilt was driving him insane and he just had to apologize to Seokmin as many times as he could. But now that they were face to face, he couldn’t find his words. 

Seokmin was just as bothered. After what happened yesterday, he didn’t know where anyone stood. When he finally got home last night, Seungcheol caught him up on what happened and how even he ended up trying to talk to Jihoon about the whole fiasco. Seungcheol admitted to purposely running into Jihoon for some time now and Seokmin admitted to the same about Soonyoung. After that talk, he didn’t know where Mingyu stood in terms of how angry he must’ve been at both of his friends. He didn’t know where Seungcheol stood with his relationship with Jihoon in their current state. He didn’t know where Jihoon stood when it came to whether or not he was going to publish this story. And he sure as hell didn’t know where he and Soonyoung stood in terms of...everything. Nothing was solid. Nothing was stable. He didn’t know what to feel. 

So when Soonyoung asked if they could meet up and talk, he agreed on the sole premise of trying to find something again. He needed some answers, some clarity. But now that they were face to face, he couldn’t find his words. 

After a long, awkward silence, Seokmin was the first to budge. 

“Uh…” 

Soonyoung looked up. 

Seokmin swallowed. “Do you know if Jihoon’s gonna publish that story?” 

Soonyoung let out a small sigh. “No, I don’t know,” he had to admit. 

Biting his lower lip, Seokmin didn’t feel much better. 

“But,” Soonyoung continued, getting Seokmin to look into his eyes, “whatever Mingyu said...seems to be getting to him.” 

Seokmin furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?” 

Soonyoung recalled Jihoon’s weird behavior last night. “He stopped typing. He’s kind of just been staring at his screen. He still hasn’t talked to me.” 

“Do you think he’s reconsidering?” Seokmin asked. 

“Maybe,” he replied. Seeing the glimmer of hope in Seokmin’s eyes, he added, “But I haven’t known Jihoon to change his mind easily. All I know is Mingyu must’ve said something important.” 

Feeling his heart race like when he was hearing the news yesterday, Seokmin nodded. Thinking about what Soonyoung just said, he realized… 

“Actually, it might’ve been Seungcheol.” 

Now it was Soonyoung’s forehead that creased. “What?” 

“Seungcheol went over to talk to him too. Apparently they run into each other a lot,” Seokmin told him. 

“Yeah, Jihoon mentioned Seungcheol trying to stalk him back or something,” Soonyoung recalled. Still, this was surprising. “Wow, so maybe it was Seungcheol.” 

“Maybe.” 

“Yeah.” 

The same tense silence re-entered and took over their conversation. Neither of them knew how much time passed, but it felt like a torturous forever. Finally, Soonyoung couldn’t take it any longer. 

“So,” Soonyoung said. Seokmin flinched. Taking a deep breath, Soonyoung asked, “Where are we?” 

Seokmin knew that was coming, but he was still shaken. “I—I don’t know, Soonyoung.” 

Leaning over the table, Soonyoung tried to look in the boy’s eyes as he turned his head. “Seokmin, I know no matter how many times I say it, it’ll never be enough. But I am so sorry for what I did.” 

Staring off to the side, Seokmin was wracking his brain. “You recorded my best friend when he was with someone he cares so much about. Wonwoo means a lot to Mingyu, and Mingyu means a lot to me.” 

“I know, Seokmin. I know,” he said regretfully. 

“It was the one thing I asked you not to do,” Seokmin grumbled, rather upset. Turning his gaze to Soonyoung’s sorry face, he said, “You promised.” 

Hearing the resentment and the disappointment in Seokmin’s voice, Soonyoung hung his head in shame. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

Glaring at him, Seokmin was so deeply bothered by how easily Soonyoung his word. But as every heavy breath left his nose, it was like a bit of anger left with it. Slowly, his inner workings calmed down and he could look at the sorry Soonyoung with a little less rage. Closing his eyes and letting out one huge puff, he sighed, “I know.” 

Soonyoung twitched at Seokmin’s softened toned. He flicked his head up and saw that Seokmin wasn’t saying anymore. “I—I know...I broke our promise,” Soonyoung nervously stammered. Sitting up taller, he continued, “I wish anything in the world I could go back and stop myself. Seokmin, I’m sorry for everything I did to you and your friends.” 

“You told me this yesterday,” Seokmin pointed out. 

Nodding, Soonyoung said, “Yeah. I also told you it was cause of you that I realized I didn’t want to do journalism like that. You were the one who showed me I was wrong. Do you remember that part?” 

Biting the inside of his cheek, Seokmin nodded. With a little more focus just on their relationship, hearing Soonyoung say that again made him get all nervous. Even when he was mad at him, Seokmin knew that Soonyoung was being honest. “Yeah, I remember.” 

Cracking a small smile, Soonyoung gently reached over the table and took Seokmin’s hand. He was afraid the boy would pull away. But he didn’t. With that subtle touch, Soonyoung felt goosebumps. Thank god he was still wearing a jacket, or Seokmin would’ve seen the hair on his arms stick up. “I know you’re really upset with me, and you deserve to be. And...I don’t know, I wanted to talk to you, but it wasn’t to ask you to forgive me.” 

That last bit threw him off. Seokmin scrunched his eyebrows, still tingling from touching Soonyoung’s hand. “You didn’t?” he asked. 

Soonyoung sighed and shook his head. “How am I supposed to ask you to forgive me for doing that? Seokmin, I feel terrible and I’m so so so sorry, but...every part of me would understand...if you couldn’t get past it.” He spoke tenderly and anxiously. The thought of Seokmin walking away from him because of this tore at Soonyoung’s heart, but he knew he was in the wrong. He couldn’t blame him for leaving. 

Seokmin was baffled. It was only now did he realize that Soonyoung had only been apologizing. He wasn’t asking anything of Seokmin. He was only giving him every “sorry” he possessed, and he meant every single one. Somehow, that eased Seokmin’s heart. “So why did you want to talk to me?” 

Squeezing his hand a little tighter, Soonyoung told him, “I guess...I just wanted to make sure you knew...how much you mean to me.” 

Seokmin held his breath. 

“I was going down the wrong path, Seokmin. I didn’t have integrity before I met you, and even if I did, it was hidden behind my greed for this story. You and your conspiracies and your love for your friends...reminded me why I’m a reporter. I shouldn’t be after a truth like this, and definitely not in the way I was doing it. And...it was you who showed me that.” It wasn’t until after he said everything did he realize how gushy it must’ve sounded. Blushing from embarrassment at the sentiment filled words coming from his mouth, Soonyoung pulled away and wiped his sweaty hands against his jeans. Laughing nervously, he said, “You’re amazing, Seokmin. You...opened up to me and...I really appreciated that. It made me...open up to myself. So…thank you.” 

Seokmin was lost for words. As he listened to Soonyoung’s sweet remarks, he was overcome with this warm feeling. It was the same feeling he had when he first thought of Soonyoung, way before any of this Mingyu-Wonwoo-Jihoon-Seungcheol business got involved. It was the feeling Seokmin had when he fantasized about the cute boy with the slanty eyes he ran into at the coffee shop. In this fantasy, Seokmin fell in love with someone who thought he was special, someone who saw him for more than who he was. Only in his imagination did Seokmin conjure up a moment this touching…and yet here he was, living one out in reality. 

For a moment, Seokmin found it hard to believe. Were Soonyoung’s words true? Did he actually have that much influence on him in the limited time they spent together? It sounded ridiculous to Seokmin. How could he change someone in less than two weeks? It was like Soonyoung was making them out to be more than what they were. 

But staring into Soonyoung’s thankful eyes, Seokmin knew that wasn’t true. What they were...was more than what he could’ve imagined. It wasn’t a matter of how much time they spent together. It wasn’t the number of conversations they had. It was the desire to have more time and more conversations and the ability to take what little you got from somebody to create something even bigger. And that’s clearly what Soonyoung did with what Seokmin gave him. Soonyoung became a better person after he met Seokmin. It was the plain and simple truth. 

Seokmin wasn’t sure that he could utter the words “I forgive you,” but he had a feeling Soonyoung wouldn’t mind. “It’s nice to finally meet someone who appreciates my conspiracies,” he said with a smile. 

A huge grin came to Soonyoung’s face. “I’ve never met someone as curious and as imaginative as you, Seokmin. How cautious you are about the world is pretty awesome.” 

Trying to cover his blush, Seokmin said, “Are you sure you’re not saying all these things just to get in my pants?” 

Letting out a hearty laugh, Soonyoung held onto the table to keep himself stable. For some reason, that joke gave him a rush of energy. It was proof that they were okay. Wiping under his eye, Soonyoung said, “Wow, you think that’s all I’m about?” 

Seokmin laughed. “I don’t know! That could’ve been your goal this whole time!” 

Shaking his head with a big smile, Soonyoung teased, “Another one of your conspiracies, I see.” 

Seokmin beamed back at him. Raising an eyebrow, he said, “You know you love them.” 

Soonyoung had to pull his stare away from Seokmin’s enchanting eyes. Picking up the menu, he said, “I sure do.” 

— — — 

Tapping his pen against the table, Mingyu could not get into this essay. It was due in a few days, but he was already behind. Clearly, his mind was not in the right place. 

Everything that went by was a worry about Wonwoo. He still wasn’t answering his phone or his texts. No amount of times when Mingyu came by the apartment did he open the door. He was still broken...and Mingyu really didn’t know how much more broken he could get. 

As he sat there in 10/10, he continued to only think of Wonwoo when… 

“Mingyu!” 

Mingyu’s head shot up at the familiar voice calling his name, all his tension rising to his shoulders. But that quickly went away when he saw who was approaching him. “Hey Chan,” he said as the boy came up to the booth. 

“Hey,” he said. He pointed to the seat across from Mingyu. “Is anyone sitting here?” 

Mingyu shook his head and Chan immediately collapsed into the cushion. “What’re you doing at 10/10? I’ve never seen you here before.” 

Chan smiled and slipped out of his jacket as he looked around the cafe. “Yeah, this is my first time here actually. But Seungkwan told me you and your friends hang out here a lot, so I wanted to stop by. See if you were around.” It took a second but Chan finally noticed Mingyu’s laptop and the papers he had on the table. “Sorry, were you working on something?” 

“Uh, no,” Mingyu replied, closing the laptop and shoving it aside. He wasn’t getting any of that done anyway. “No don’t worry about it.” 

Chan nervously nodded. “Okay. How are you?” 

“Uhh, I’m...alright. You?” 

With a shrug, he replied, “About the same.” 

There was a pause. Still pretty confused, Mingyu furrowed his eyebrows. Obviously, it was always refreshing when he saw Chan, but… 

“Were you looking for me?” 

With a nod, Chan sighed and folded his hands onto the table. Already, Mingyu could read his concern. Something was bothering him. “I need to talk to you.” 

“What’s wrong?” Mingyu asked, automatically assuming that there was always something wrong these days. 

Chan scratched his head and brushed the hair away from his forehead. Looking across the table at Mingyu, he said, “No one’s heard from Wonwoo in days. He hasn’t been replying to our messages and he...I don’t know. He hasn’t been talking.” 

Mingyu’s heart sank. He’s not even talking to his friends, he thought. 

Worried, Chan said, “Last time I talked to him, he was really down about what was going on between the two of you.” 

“Yeah,” Mingyu said heavily. 

Chan nodded. “I don’t know if you guys have made up since then, but I thought maybe you would know what’s going on with him. I know you guys have your rough patches, but he does think of you as one of his best friends. I was really hoping that if he was going through some stuff, at least he’d be talking to you.” 

Mingyu could tell that Chan was full of good intentions when he came to ask about Wonwoo. Mingyu was just disappointed that he couldn’t give the kind boy a more reassuring answer. With a sigh, he replied, “Yeah, we...kinda made up.” 

Tilting his head, Chan asked, “What does that mean?” 

Another sigh. “A lot of things have been happening to Wonwoo lately, and he hasn’t been talking to me either,” he explained. 

“Is it okay if I ask what’s been happening to him?” Chan gently asked, looking into Mingyu’s distraught eyes. “I get it if he doesn’t want us to know, but Wonwoo’s a really emotional guy. I bet he hasn’t been telling us cause he’s just so sad or something.” 

With a solemn nod, Mingyu told Chan, “Wonwoo’s grandmother passed away four days ago.” 

With that, Chan’s face immediately fell. His features drooped and his shoulders slumped as he retracted into his seat. “What?” he quietly asked. 

“She died four days ago,” Mingyu said. The weight of those words was heavier than his tongue could handle. 

Chan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He gripped his hair with his hands and was struck with this pain and disbelief. “Oh my god.” 

Mingyu sighed, feeling all that grief that would rise to the surface every so often. He couldn’t imagine the suffering Wonwoo must’ve been going through. 

Chan struggled with the information, the gears in his head clearly trying to figure out how to work properly again. With his jaw hanging open, he finally caught a thought when he fixed his stare back at Mingyu. Like he already knew the answer, he asked, “He didn’t stop, did he?” 

Mingyu bit his upper lip. He shook his head. 

Chan’s head hung as he leaned on his forearms. “Oh my god.” 

“He’s not doing well, Chan. I saw him a few days ago but I only found out cause I went to his house and heard from his mom,” Mingyu told the younger boy. “I bet he would’ve kept it from me.” 

“Oh my god,” Chan muttered again. “Wonwoo, oh my god.” Finally looking up, he was so concerned. “He must be devastated.” 

“He is.” 

“God,” Chan grumbled as he sat up. He looked all around, trying to grapple with reality. 

As he watched Chan react, Mingyu knew there was a part of the story that he was leaving out, a part that Wonwoo didn’t even know about. 

Jihoon and Soonyoung found out, Mingyu recalled. And I seriously don’t know if they’re gonna run that article… 

Mingyu knew that Chan had a right to know. As a Jumper, this would change his life too. He could become just as devastated if the news got out. Uncertain of everything, Mingyu wasn’t sure if he should tell him… 

“Did Wonwoo ever tell you how different we are?” Chan abruptly asked, his focus off in some random direction. 

Mingyu hesitated, thrown off by such a comment. “Uhhh, no,” he said slowly. “What do you mean?” 

Turning to face Mingyu. Chan’s lips twerked to the side, an uncertain expression. “I love jumping,” he told Mingyu. “Love it more than anyone could imagine.” 

Woah, Mingyu couldn’t help but think. That’s different. Out of Wonwoo’s four person friend group, Mingyu only knew three. And out of the three, he knew two of them trying with their greatest effort to stop. He never imagined that at least 25% of them actually...enjoyed jumping. 

Chan sighed as he went on. “I don’t say this cause I’m naive, but I believe the universe...does care about us.” 

Mingyu listened closely. This was a new perspective towards the universe that he’d never thought he’d hear. 

Glancing around, Chan made sure no one was in hearing range. “I mean, Jumpers are pretty special. We get to see the world in a way...nobody else ever will. There’s...a balance in the world, and Jumpers are just part of that,” he explained. 

“So you think everything just works out?” Mingyu couldn’t help but ask. 

Chan sighed again. “No. I don’t think there’s one ultimate power that controls everything. We call it the universe, but it’s not like a god or something, to me.” 

“So how does it work to you?” 

He replied, “I think...you work as hard as you can...and blame the universe when it falls out of your control, but...you have to remember that it’s the same universe that picks you up when all that bad stuff fades away.” 

Mingyu was awestruck. “Wow,” he uttered. 

Chan shrugged and said, “Obviously, I can never tell Wonwoo this…” 

Mingyu scoffed. “That’s for sure.” 

With a smile, Chan said, “We each play our part to the best of our abilities. And...things get better. It’ll all eventually get better. I mean, it has to…” With hopeful gaze towards Mingyu, he asked, “...right?” 

Mingyu couldn’t believe how different Chan’s and Wonwoo’s views were. They were such great friends, yet they could look at their exact same situation in basically opposite directions. Since Chan loved jumping, he probably never had to worry about stopping. But since Wonwoo hated it, that’s all he thought about. And at the moment, it was clear whose perspective was better. 

But is that what Wonwoo needs? To love jumping? Mingyu contemplated it, but that was too extreme for Wonwoo. It would never happen. 

But as he looked at Chan, he knew it was the right view for someone. Chan wasn’t as cynical. He believed. With the way he saw the universe, Mingyu decided he didn’t need to know. 

With a small smile, Mingyu nodded. “Yeah. It has to.” 

— — — 

Joshua couldn’t stand it. His foot was tapping aggressively against the restaurant floor as he stared across the table at the person he hated most in this world. He watched as his dad took a sip of his water, acting as if four years hadn’t passed since they’d last seen each other. He couldn’t stand it. 

He wasn’t sure if his dad didn’t know how upset he was or just didn’t care. It took a good five minutes before Joshua lost it and had to say something. 

“What’re you doing here?” 

Oddly, his dad looked nervous. With a weak smile, he said, “We don’t have to start with that. How’ve you been, son?” 

But Joshua was pissed. “Where’ve you been?” 

His dad sighed. “Son—” 

“Stop,” Joshua growled. Staring at his father in a suit, he was brought back to the last day he saw him: the day of his mom’s funeral. He couldn’t stand any of this. “Just...stop that.” 

Seeing his son get so emotional, Joshua’s dad knew he was in dangerous territory. Well, he knew that walking into this. “Joshua, I know you have a lot of questions,” he calmly said. 

“Yeah, no ,” he spat, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. He couldn’t stand that this situation was making him a defiant teenager even though he wasn’t even a teen anymore. But he couldn’t help it. 

Sternly, his father said, “Watch your language.” 

“Ya know what, I can’t take this,” Joshua said as he immediately stood up and grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair, completely prepared to walk out. 

But his dad was quicker. Grabbing the boy by the wrist, he held tight. “No, Josh wait.” For a moment, the two of them met eyes: Josh’s on fire, his dad’s as cold as ever. But even so, he could see the plea. “Please, I’m sorry. Just stay and listen.” 

And at the sound of those words, I’m sorry, Joshua felt his heart crack. Against his better judgement, he sat back down and tried to remain calm. 

Once he saw his son take a few deep breaths, Mr. Hong did the same. “I guess I can’t really tell you how to talk anymore,” he joked. “You never were one to curse before.” 

“Well a lot of things have changed since then,” Joshua explained. 

His dad nodded. “Let’s talk about those changes.” 

Joshua let out a hot sigh. “Fine.” 

His father sat up straight and smiled. “How’ve you been?” 

He sighed again. Not keeping eye contact, he stared down at his menu. “Today? Or the past four years?” 

Ignoring the snide remark, he said, “Both.” 

Joshua scoffed. “I’ve been poor, Dad.” That last word burned his mouth. “Vernon and I don’t have a lot of money. There was whatever Mom left me, but I couldn’t get it until I was 18 cause you weren’t around to give me consent, so Vernon’s parents shipped us money over for as long as they could. We worked a bunch of different jobs, but I had to take a break from that cause my grades were slipping. Vernon insisted I focus on that and trying to get a scholarship.” 

“Sounds like Vernon’s become quite the breadwinner,” he commented. 

He’s somehow more of a father to me than you’ve ever been, Joshua thought. But he held in all his hatred. “He’s amazing. We’ve been doing alright because we have each other.” 

“I’m glad.” After a second, Joshua’s dad realized his son wasn’t saying more. “How are things lately?” 

As if a gush of excitement washed over him out of nowhere, Joshua was reminded of what happened two weeks ago: Jeonghan came to stay with them. And for the first time in this encounter, he smiled. “They’ve been really good.” 

This was the first time Joshua’s dad saw him light up like that. “Yeah?” 

Remembering every second he spent with his boyfriend, Joshua pictured the first time he saw the boy coming off the plane. His hair was stunning and the face behind it was even more so. His heart started pounding as he thought about the first time they went out and got frozen yogurt. Jeonghan made it clear he loved strawberry. He thought of all the talks they had even before they started dating. He melted when he remembered how happy Jeonghan was when he asked him out. Joshua wasn’t sure when he fell harder: when he had to jump out of that tree by himself or when he started falling in love with Jeonghan. Their first date. Their first kiss. Their...everything. Jeonghan was everything. And he stopped for him. 

“Vernon and I have been less...alone these days,” he answered. 

“Oh yeah, there was someone else at your apartment,” Mr. Hong remembered. “Who is he?” 

Joshua froze. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to share his relationship with his dad. He didn’t deserve to know. “He’s a mutual friend,” Joshua explained. “He’s a friend from Korea’s friend. He’s here for two months for a huge international swim meet.” 

“That’s really impressive.” 

Joshua smiled. “He’s really impressive.” 

Mr. Hong nodded. Before asking anything else, he glanced all around to make sure no one was listening. All of a sudden, Joshua could feel he was going to change the subject. Leaning over the table, he whispered, “How’s the jumping been?” 

Feeling his arm twitch, Joshua let out a heavy breath. If his dad didn’t need to know about his relationship with Jeonghan, he didn’t need to know that he helped him stop four days ago. Putting on an uneasy smile, he replied, “It’s been fine.” 

His dad nodded again. It almost seemed like that’s all he could do. “Your mother was always worried about how you would deal with it. I’m glad to know it hasn’t been too bad.” 

“Yeah, it hasn’t been the worse thing that’s happened to me,” Joshua growled, reminded again of just how much he hated this man. 

Hearing that resentment resurface, he said, “Joshua—” 

“Why are you here?” 

There was a delay. Neither of them spoke. And for the first time…ever, Joshua saw this look on his dad’s face: a look of guilt. Hanging his head slightly, Mr. Hong sighed, “Joshua...I came to talk to you.” 

“After so many years?” 

“Yes,” he said firmly. “Joshua, I’m—” 

“Do you even realize what you did to me?” Joshua interrupted. He could taste the bitterness of his words off his tongue. 

His dad stopped. 

He scoffed and shook his head. “Do you even realize the trauma I went through when it all happened? Do you know how deeply I was scarred?” 

“Joshua—” 

“I lost myself that day, Dad,” Joshua said, his voice piercing through his anger. “The day that mom died, I lost so much of myself. And you weren’t there.” 

Mr. Hong didn’t try to comment. 

“You left me,” Joshua said, his words so heavy, they nearly dragged onto the floor. “You abandoned me. You basically made me an orphan after Mom’s funeral. How could you possibly do that to me and dare call me your son?” 

Joshua had been holding onto this for so long. He didn’t know what it was going to feel like letting it all out. 

“I’ve been broken ever since. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about Mom. You don’t know how much I’ve had to suffer and how much Vernon has been there for me after what you did.” 

“Son—” 

“And you just don’t seem any more regretful than the night she died. You were just as cold back then as you were every day I can remember,” Joshua said with such disgust. He glared at his dad, all the tension rising in his body. But as he stared, he pitied this man so much, he didn’t even want to waste his arsenal of insults and outrage. He didn’t want to bother with how terrible of a father he was. He didn’t want to go on and on about what a ty human being he was. This man wasn’t even worth the breath. 

With a final sigh, Joshua growled, “What could you possibly want now?” 

There was a pause as Joshua’s dad waited for him to continue. But Joshua didn’t have any more words. He was done. 

Once he realized his son’s harsh words weren’t being fired anymore, Mr. Hong sighed. “I know...that everything you said must be true.” Looking straight into his son’s eyes, he said, “I’m sorry.” 

Another pang struck Joshua’s racing heart. I’m sorry, he repeated in his head. There it is again. A phrase so foreign from his father that it fostered a foreign response. 

“Okay,” Joshua said, trying to play it off lightly. “So what?” 

Even if his walls were up, Mr. Hong could see that his son was adjusting. “Joshua, I’m sorry for leaving you alone all these years,” he said. Joshua could hear the honesty in his voice. It was so strange. “I was a coward after your mother passed away. I didn’t know how to be a parent and I didn’t know how to live without her…” 

There was a pause. Joshua’s heart was pounding like crazy. For so long, he only knew his mom to love him. And he loved her back. So much of him forgot that that was probably the only thing him and his dad had in common. 

“Do you still think about her?” Joshua asked, the words slipping out of his mouth before he even realized. 

His dad nodded. “Every day.” 

“What about me?” he asked nervously. “Did you think about me?” 

Mr. Hong sighed and looked into his son’s eyes. “I didn’t want to. I left...everything behind because...I wanted to forget. But I just couldn’t run away from you in my thoughts.” 

Joshua didn’t know how to feel. He couldn’t tell if his dad was being heartfelt or an . Those words could go either way. It sounded like he only thought of him...out of obligation. 

“Where have you been?” 

“Korea.” 

Joshua’s eyes grew wide. “Korea?!” 

“I went somewhere...I knew you wouldn’t be able to find me.” 

“Oh my god,” Joshua muttered, feeling his arms tingle. 

“I’ve been over there...trying to move on with life. I got a job. I have an apartment. I started over,” he explained. 

“Wow,” Joshua flatly responded. 

“But I couldn’t,” Mr. Hong immediately added. Staring intensely at Joshua, he made it clear, “I couldn’t do it, Joshua.” 

Joshua felt his chest thumping and his jaw open to ask what the hell that meant when… 

“Are you two ready to order?” 

Startled, Joshua turned to the friendly waiter with his notepad. “Uhhh, yeah,” he quickly replied. Glancing down at the menu, he immediately pointed to the first picture he saw. “I’ll have that.” 

The waiter nodded and took his menu away as his dad said, “I’ll have the fish. Thank you.” 

With a smile, the waiter tucked the menu under his arm and said, “Thank you. It’ll be out soon. Do you need anymore water or anything?” 

“No thank you,” Joshua said. 

With a final grin, the waiter disappeared, leaving Joshua and his dad back to their tense conversation. 

It didn’t take much for Joshua to remember where they left off. 

“So you’ve been in Korea this whole time?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed. “When did you even come back to the US?” 

Scratching his head, Mr. Hong said, “I’ve been over there all these years, but I knew I had to come back for you at some point. So, I got here four days ago and went looking—” 

The words were so quick, Joshua hardly had any time to react. But he felt his breath catch in his throat. “Wait, what?” he interrupted. 

His dad stopped, confused. “I got here four days ago and—” 

Joshua’s heart stopped. The blood in his veins ceased flowing. The color drained from his face. Everything froze. 

“What.” 

Even more confused, Joshua’s dad looked at his son’s bewildered expression. Uneasily, he said, “Yes, I got here four—” 

“YOU got here FOUR DAYS AGO?!” he screamed. 

Mr. Hong said something in response, but Joshua didn’t hear any of it. 

Nononononononononononononono, was running through his head. His eyes were darting around as he felt like he was about to have a panic attack. NO! FOUR DAYS AGO! IT CAN’T BE! IT JUST ING CAN’T BE! NO ING NO NO NO NO! 

Four days ago, Joshua went on his first date with the beautiful boy who’d recently entered his life. Four days ago, he fell in love with someone who made him feel safe and who made him happy. Four days ago, he kissed someone special for the first time. Four days ago was supposed to go down in Joshua’s memory as the day he stopped because of Jeonghan. But now that could all be different. 

Joshua had been so certain that the universe wanted him to stop for this wonderful boy. He was confident that their love was what did it. He was sure that the universe saw in Jeonghan what Joshua saw in him. But he could’ve been completely wrong. The universe could’ve made him stop...so he could talk to the father that abandoned him years ago when his mother died. Now didn’t that sound more like the universe he knew? 

I got it wrong, he told himself, feeling the weight of his heart increase by a million. It wasn’t me and Jeonghan that did it. It wasn’t us. We weren’t good enough for the universe. How could I believe that the universe would be kind to me like that? After everything it’s done, of course THIS is why it would make me stop. How could I ever think it would be for something good? Of course I was wrong. Of course it wasn’t Jeonghan. I. Was. ing. Wrong. 

“Joshua.” 

Snapping back to reality, Joshua felt a cold sweat run down his neck. So many emotions were flying through his system. He was enraged. He was confused. He was disappointed. 

“Are you alright, son?” 

Joshua clenched his fists against his thighs. He could hardly breathe. This was far too much. His body couldn’t stand it. 

Fighting back tears, Joshua couldn’t look at his dad. If it was possible, he hated him even more now. He wanted so badly to just storm out that very moment. But he couldn’t. How could he? This was what the universe wanted. 

“Yeah,” he said under his breath. 

Hesitant, Joshua’s dad didn’t know what was going through the boy’s head, but he went on with what brought him there. “Joshua, I came here and I went looking for you because I thought it was finally time.” 

Joshua’s heart was tearing more and more every second he listened. But he wasn’t even fully listening. He had no words. 

Taking a deep breath, his dad said, “I want you to come live with me, Joshua.” 

He had no idea what that meant. He wasn’t even sure if he was hearing properly. He blinked a few tears away before he realized what was happening. “What?” 

“Son, we can be a family again,” his dad said, more eager than before. He sat up taller and spoke with as much conviction as he could. “I want you to move to Korea with me.” 

Joshua thought he was going to explode. His brain was still going off over this realization of why he stopped. He couldn’t process anything this man said. He didn’t want to. But those words made such little sense that he just had to ask, “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“Move to Korea with me, Joshua,” his dad said one more time. “You’ll live with me again and we can...catch up on all the years we lost. Everything that’s happened to you, son, was my fault.” He sighed and nodded. “I want to make it up to you by being your dad again.” 

Joshua couldn’t believe what he was hearing. There were so many reasons why this was the stupidest idea Joshua had ever heard, but there was one blaringly obvious reason this was absolutely idiotic. 

“Did you forget that I’m a Jumper in the last ten minutes?” Joshua asked, staring at his father like he was as dumb as what he just said. His blood was pulsing. He hardly had the patience for this anymore. “I can’t leave the city I was born in.” 

And Joshua’s dad had a look on his face like he knew that was coming. Leaning over the table, he asked, a bit quieter, “Son, what do you think happens when you’re not in the right city before 6pm?” 

Clouded by emotion, Joshua couldn’t find his own thoughts. “I don’t know. But every Jumper knows it’s dangerous and you’re not supposed to do it.” He’d talked about this with his friends plenty of times. They all grew up knowing this. None of them wanted to test the universe. None of them wanted to risk it. 

“Sometimes it can be,” Mr. Hong replied. “But for the right reasons, it’s not.” 

Joshua was so done with all this . “What?” 

“Your mother was courageous enough to test the universe,” he said. 

With the mention of his mom, Joshua felt his heart loosen. “What...what do you mean?” 

“Your mother was born in New York.” 

Joshua stared at his dad. This was the first thing that brought him back into focus. He was paying attention. He just didn’t understand. 

“What?” 

Joshua’s dad said, “She was born in New York City, but she moved to Los Angeles...to be with me. And the universe let her.” 

Joshua’s heart was beating off the charts. This was all too much. Everything was too much. 

“What do you mean?” he frantically asked. “She moved? What—how—what—” 

“Joshua, I know this doesn’t—” 

“That’s not supposed to happen! The universe doesn’t do that!” Joshua exclaimed. He was losing all sense. “The universe doesn’t have exceptions! The universe has rules! The universe does all these things without consequence and we just have to give into it!” 

Joshua was speaking so loudly, he was drawing attention from other tables. Seeing this, his dad tried to rein him in. “Son, the universe—” 

But Joshua didn’t care. He was exploding. “No, the universe is constant!” he screamed behind the tears that already started falling. “That’s what it does! It doesn’t matter if we THOUGHT what mattered was something so important and so good and so pure! No, it only matters that the ing UNIVERSE wants us to deal with the that we’ve been dragging around for so many years!” Slamming his hands onto the table, he yelled, “MOM COULDN’T JUST MOVE! THE UNIVERSE DOESN’T LET THAT HAPPEN!” 

Joshua’s chest was rising up and down as he was panting. His head was spinning and he just couldn’t stand it. 

And his dad knew. Waiting a few moments before saying anything else, he took a deep breath and calmly said, “The universe’s rules aren’t as simple as you think.” 

Joshua paused. 

“As much as you think it dictates your life, you have every right to fight back,” he said. “Of course there’s a way that the universe works for special people like you and your mother, but she never let that stop her from living her life.” 

Joshua didn’t know what to say. 

With a sigh, his dad said, “She used to tell me that she believed the universe had a way for everyone, all different, all unique. She believed that Jumpers were categorized together, but that didn’t make them the same. You all follow the same rules, but she believed...that not all the same rules...followed you.” 

Joshua couldn’t breathe. 

“Why didn’t she ever tell me this?” he choked. 

“She would’ve if she thought it was right. She wanted you to find your own way with the universe before giving you any ideas,” he explained. “But she never got the chance.” 

This was all too much. Joshua was shaken to his very core for so many reasons. But this last one...seemed impossible. 

The universe...does that? Joshua couldn’t wrap his brain around that. For every moment he could ever remember, his life was set by what the universe gave him. The universe gave him rules as a Jumper. The universe sent him to all different places across the world because of it. He left home for 12 hours of every day. He never saw the same place two nights in a row. He never moved cities because he was told he couldn’t. Never did he ever think that the universe could just...break those rules. 

Could the universe be...that unpredictable? Can it be irregular? Joshua was having such a hard time with this. No, no, that can’t be. It’s the only thing that’s constant. It’s the only thing that makes “sense.” It’s like the laws of nature. What goes up, must come down. Force equals mass times acceleration. For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. These are the rules. It can’t just do that. Can it? 

Thinking a little harder, Joshua came to realize, Well, I guess it does make the rules so… 

No, he couldn’t think any harder. Not now. 

Shaking his head, Joshua finally stood up and grabbed his coat. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore.” 

Reaching out for his son again, Mr. Hong cried out, “Joshua, wait—!” 

But Joshua was quicker this time. Pulling his hand away, he stared at his father with all the bitter hatred he held onto for all those years. So utterly disgusted with what he saw, he said, “I don’t care if this is what the universe wants. I don’t care if it’ll break its own rules to let me move to Korea with you. I can’t do this right now.” 

Without another glance, Joshua left just as the server passed him with their food. But he didn’t notice. By the time he left the restaurant, the only thing he could see were his own tears. 

im so sorry its been so long since my last update but thank you so so much for reading! I just finished up finals and im now on spring break so this was the first thing i did :D but yeah i know these chapters jump around a lot when it comes to the storylines, but i hope you guys dont mind <3 ive been waiting so long to share more of joshua's story and i hope you guys enjoy it (even if its pretty sad/frustrating right now) as always, thank you for reading and hope you all are well <3