“Sir, I assure you, I’ll have the report in to you by tonight,” Jihoon said into the phone. Strolling down the sidewalk, he scratched his head and sighed. Talking to his boss about lackluster stories wasn’t his favorite pass time.

“Mr. Yoo, I know the story goes out at 11,” he said through his breath while still trying to be polite. He needed to be on the head of Pledis News’ good side. “Everything’s done. I just need to submit it.”

Listening to what concerned his boss made Jihoon facepalm. “Yes, we got good shots of the kimchi. The city’s monthly kimchi eating contest was well covered.”

Jihoon kept walking as he pressed the phone to his ear. He thought the boss would have better things to do than rail the interns, but it didn’t seem that way. But as Jihoon was passing by alone, he was abruptly joined by a less than wanted presence.

“This is reporter Choi Seungcheol coming to you live!” Seungcheol exclaimed as he rushed up to Jihoon’s side. Pretending to hold a microphone to his mouth, he acted like there was a camera in front of him. “We’ve just tracked down the infamous Lee Jihoon, the boy who we know is never up to any good!”

Startled, Jihoon was about to groan, but he quickly remembered he was on the phone. “Sir, I’m gonna have to call you back,” he said before hanging up.

Keeping up with the act, Seungcheol pressed his hand to his ear. “What’s that? Viewers, I’m getting word from my studio that Lee Jihoon is a little prick.” Looking over at Jihoon, Seungcheol held his hand to his lips. “Mr. Lee, what do you have to say about that?”

Glaring at him, Jihoon stopped walking. Shoving Seungcheol’s hand away, he replied, “You’re ing annoying.”

Standing up straight, Seungcheol directed his attention to the nonexistent camera. “Harsh words coming from the prick who does this for a living,” he said in that classic news reporter voice. “This has been reporter Choi Seungcheol. Back to you Seokmin.”

Unamused, Jihoon just stared at him. “Seokmin’s your anchor?”

Putting away his fake ear piece, Seungcheol replied, “Yes, and he does a damn good job at it.”

Rolling his eyes, Jihoon shoved his phone away. “What do you want?”

“You know what I want,” Seungcheol said back, smug as ever.

Shaking his head, Jihoon started to walk away. “I’m doing my job, .”

“You’re the one making me be an ,” he replied, following right beside him. “I’m a very pleasant person normally.”

“Yeah, and I’m a ing fairy,” Jihoon sarcastically snapped back.

“With that hair,” Seungcheol teased. “I’d believe it.”

“Would you stop talking about my hair?”

“Would you stop bothering my friends?”

Jihoon groaned. “I feel like we have the same conversation every time.”

“Ahh, but that could all magically go away,” Seungcheol said. Putting his arm over Jihoon’s shoulder, he waved his other hand in front of them. “If you just magically went away.”

Shaking his shoulder vigorously, Jihoon stepped away from the taller boy. “You really have nothing better to do.”

Seungcheol weirdly smiled. “Trust me when I say looking out for Mingyu is the best thing I can do with my time.”

“Whatever.”

For a little while, both of them walked side by side, not saying a word to the other. The only noise came from cars on the road and the other people around who were actually enjoying the company they were with.

As he often did when talking to anybody, Jihoon thought about what Seungcheol said carefully. Breaking their mutual, discomfort-filled silence, he asked, “You really care about Mingyu, don’t you?”

With a scoff, Seungcheol replied, “If you haven’t noticed.”

Staring down at the sidewalk, Jihoon was actually curious. “I mean, it seems like you’d do anything for him.”

Slightly surprised, Seungcheol had never heard Jihoon sound anything but irritated or irritating. This was new. “I would,” he explained. “Mingyu’s like my brother.”

“How’d that happen?”

“What do you mean?”

Jihoon glanced up at the sky as they approached a crosswalk. “How is he like your brother? Like...how do you get that close to somebody?”

Seungcheol looked over to find the side of Jihoon’s face. His pink bangs gently brushed over his forehead. Their eyes didn’t meet, but he could see that they were softer. For a moment, he even looked...human. “Haven’t you ever been that close to somebody?”

Thinking about it, Jihoon knew he had Soonyoung. Soonyoung was his go-to person and he wouldn’t change that. But the two had been friends for so long, it was all a blur and Jihoon couldn’t duplicate how it happened. He never found that with anyone else after, and Soonyoung found it with Junhui, all the way in China. He was just curious how other people garnished such a strong bond, and it seemed that Seungcheol was the most passionate person when it came to loyalty.

Lost in his own thoughts, Jihoon shook himself back to reality. He wasn’t going to share this with this . “Nevermind,” he said abruptly.

And just like that, Seungcheol could see that stone cold look on his face again. What the hell was that? he thought. Even if it was just for a few seconds, Seungcheol was unable to shake the image of a non-annoying Jihoon from his head. Facing forward, he tried to remember the question. It was weird to be engaged in a new conversation. “Uhh,” he choked, “We’ve known each other for a while.”

“What?” Jihoon forgot what he even asked.

“Me and Mingyu,” he clarified. “I can’t remember exactly, but it was when he was in middle school and I was in high school.”

Jihoon didn’t have anything to say to that, but he was surprised.

The two of them finally stopped walking as they stood at an intersection. Seungcheol watched Jihoon press the cross button. He didn’t know where they were going, but wherever Jihoon went, Seungcheol was prepared to follow. Looking at the boy who didn’t look back at him, he went on, “I played soccer a lot, but I liked going to the park across town more cause the fields were better. That’s actually how I met Seokmin,” Seungcheol explained. The light turned as he spoke and the two of them crossed. “Every time I was there, I saw Mingyu sitting by himself, just reading or something. He sat in the same far corner of the park every time I came.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Seungcheol got a bit nostalgic thinking about his friend. “One day, I didn’t have anyone to play with, so I went to go talk to him. I was always far away, but when I finally got up close to him, I realized he wasn’t alone.”

Jihoon watched as Seungcheol chuckled to himself. “He was with a cat. He named her Pie...and I can’t even remember what happened after that.” Shrugging, he went on. “He was a quiet kid and he didn’t really like talking to me at first, but he lightened up when Pie and I started getting along. We all went to different schools far away, so we only hung out there. But yeah, me, Mingyu, and Seokmin started to get closer and became really good friends.”

“Around that time too, we started noticing when Mingyu showed up with cuts or bruises on his arms or anywhere else.” Just remembering this triggered Seungcheol. Clenching his fists in his pockets, he recounted, “When we asked him what happened, he said it was from the kids at school. They picked on him and bullied him and...were just terrible.”

Letting out a heavy breath, Seungcheol said, “That’s why he came to the park so often and that’s why he stayed so far away. Ever since I learned about that...I guess, I saw him as a younger brother.”

Finally remembering who he was talking too, he tensed up even more. Turning to look down at Jihoon, he said, sternly, “I never wanted to see him like that again, and I will make sure he never feels that terrible again.”

It wasn’t until Seungcheol’s tone shifted did Jihoon notice he also wasn’t fully realizing what was happening. The whole time he listened, he wasn’t thinking about how Mingyu was linked to Wonwoo and how all of this personal information was worthy of writing down. He was just thinking about how he could relate.

But now they were back.

Staring straight ahead, Jihoon finally commented. “Has Mingyu always loved cats?”

Realizing he might’ve said too much already, Seungcheol wasn’t giving anything else. “You’d like to know, wouldn’t you?”

in his cheeks, Jihoon knew that window had closed. “I would have.”

Seungcheol shook his head and faced the reporter again. “I think it’s my turn to ask the questions.”

“That’s not how this works,” Jihoon flatly replied.

Ignoring what he said, Seungcheol furrowed his eyebrows and asked, “Why do you do this? Why do you purposely go after Wonwoo when he’s literally never done anything to you?”

“This is about something a lot bigger than just Wonwoo,” Jihoon answered, thinking back to Minghao and Joshua. There were so many pieces to the puzzle that fit, but still he couldn’t see any sort of picture.

Seeing that Jihoon wasn’t going to elaborate, Seungcheol stopped walking. Watching the boy go a few paces ahead, he called out, “Fine. Then why are you a reporter?”

Planning to just keep walking, Jihoon paused. He his heels and looked at Seungcheol like he was the dumbest person in the world. “I look for the truth. That’s what I’ve vowed to do and that’s what I’m always going to do.” With that, he spun back around and kept walking.

Seungcheol quickly caught up to him again. Not satisfied with that simple explanation, Seungcheol pushed it. “But why? Why would you so diligently do that? There has to be a greater reason for that.”

There is, Jihoon thought. “You’d like to know, wouldn’t you?”

Annoyed when his own words were used against him, Seungcheol opened his mouth, prepared to pester him for proper answers, but was interrupted by an intense vibrating in his backpocket. Seeing the name on the screen, he immediately picked up.

“What’s up?”

“Are you home right now?” Seokmin frantically asked.

Glancing over at Jihoon, Seungcheol answered, “Uhh, no.”

Seokmin clearly was not doing so well on the other end. “Okay, I’m gonna try and get home as fast as I can.”

Seungcheol stopped walking. Subsequently, Jihoon did the same. “What’s the matter?” Seungcheol asked, concerned for how worried Seokmin sounded.

“It’s Mingyu,” Seokmin explained. “He came to the store and he looked really sad and he said...agh, he needed to talk to somebody, hyung, but I had to turn him away.” Sighing and trying to hold back just how guilty he felt, he said, “Please, just go home and be there for him. It’s about Wonwoo and he doesn’t seem okay. I’m leaving the bakery right now but you might get there before me.”

But Seokmin could’ve left it at “it’s Mingyu.” “I’ll be right there,” Seungcheol said without batting an eye.

“Thanks, Seungcheol.”

“I’ll make sure he’s okay.”

“Good. See you at home.”

“Bye.”

Hanging up, Seungcheol was starting to feel that same worry he heard over the phone. Looking over, he found Jihoon curiously staring at him. Glaring back, Seungcheol said, “We’re done for today.”

“What was that about?” Jihoon assumed that the call was from Seokmin, but he’d like to know for sure. He also wanted to know why Seungcheol was suddenly stopping his stalking mission.

Going over to the side of the road, Seungcheol waved his arm up to hail a cab. He was too busy following Jihoon, he had no idea where they were. “You’d like to know, wouldn’t you?”

A taxi almost immediately pulled over. “So that’s it?” Jihoon called out, smugly. “That’s all it takes to get rid of you? A frantic phone call?”

Opening the car door, Seungcheol replied before getting in and driving away, “Trust me. This is the best thing I can do with my time.”

— — —

No words came out of Mingyu’s mouth as he stared at the ceiling. He couldn’t tell if it was still there since his eyes were blurred with tears. He’d been lying there since he got home from the bakery and was somehow feeling even worse than when he left the apartment. His heart was feeling so much pain, he couldn’t handle it. Only a few of the same thoughts came to mind.

I’m such an idiot.

I’m alone.

I’m such an idiot.

I’m alone.

I’m such an idiot.

I’m all alone.

But he wasn’t entirely alone. Jumping up beside him, the grey cat with no name sought to keep him company.

With the grey blob in his peripheral, Mingyu didn’t budge. He reached his hand out and his head, getting an appropriate pur. Unable to stop his pain, Mingyu decided to give his friend a name, even if he didn’t answer to it. Now was as good a time as any, even if he'd already tried it out.

“Hey, Wonwoo.”

Mingyu could feel his nerves twitch as he said that name. The grey boy, on the other hand, had no reaction.

I’m such an idiot. What made me think he would answer to that?

Still, Mingyu knew it was about more than just the cat.

Tilting his head, he got a better look at “Wonwoo.” He let out a quivering sigh. Rubbing the cat’s cheek, he talked to him. “How’re you doing...without me?”

Mingyu couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle thinking about Wonwoo. It hurt too bad. He immediately turned away, rolling completely to his other side, making sure the cat was out of sight. This was the first time a cat couldn’t comfort him.

I’m alone.

As Mingyu whimpered in his own arms, Wonwoo the cat crawled over and bat his head. Mingyu didn’t budge, but the cat persisted.

“Go away.”

“Meow.”

Unable to ignore him, Mingyu looked back over. Wonwoo blinked at him a few times before turning around and jumping off the bed. “Meow,” he said again.

Mingyu wiped one of his eyes to try and get a better view. He sniffled and pulled himself to the edge of the mattress. “What?”

The cat didn’t answer but proceeded to crawl under the bed. “Meow.”

Mingyu talked to enough cats to know that he wanted him to follow. Refusing, he rolled onto his back and shut his eyes. “I’m not getting up.”

“Meow!” he shouted from below.

“I’m not listening to you, Wonwoo.” It stung again to say that name.

“MEOW!” he hissed back.

With a groan, he conceded. Mingyu threw off his blanket and sat up. He felt a little dizzy. He was probably dehydrated after the tears all the water out of his body. Rubbing his face, he just stayed there for a moment before twisting over and letting his feet rest on the floor. As he got down, he was just about to crouch lower and look underneath when he heard the front door slam.

“Mingyu!” he heard Seungcheol’s voice scream from the living room.

Mingyu shot up and felt his heart sink. Seungcheol didn’t know he was going through this pain, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted him to know. After seeing how Seokmin couldn’t be there, Mingyu didn’t want to give anyone else the chance to make him feel alone. He would do that by himself.

“Yeah!” he called out, trying to keep his voice from shaking as much as possible.

Seungcheol immediately stormed down the hall and rushed into the room. He found Mingyu on the floor. The second he saw his puffy eyes and sulking face, he knew what Seokmin was talking about. “Hey!” he said through his breath as he leaned against the door.

“Hey,” Mingyu weakly replied.

Seungcheol nodded his head up. “Whatcha doing on the floor?”

Glancing around him real quick, Mingyu pushed himself up. “Nothing,” he replied before sitting back on his bed.

Now Seungcheol could hear it in his voice. That sad, weakened voice was something he never wanted to hear from Mingyu ever in his lifetime. Coming into the room, he asked, “Everything okay?”

Mingyu swallowed and tried not to make eye contact. “Yeah,” he softly answered.

“Really?” Seungcheol asked, questionably. Standing in front of him, he tried to look him in the eyes. “Cause Seokmin told me you came by the bakery.”

Suppressing how hurt he felt leaving that store, Mingyu told Seungcheol, “Yeah, but I’m okay. You don’t need to worry, hyung.”

Not buying any of that, Seungcheol sat down next to him. “Mingyu, Seokmin’s really sorry he couldn’t talk earlier—”

But Mingyu interrupted him before he could go in. “Seungcheol, I don’t know what Seokmin told you, but you don’t have to worry,” he said firmly. “I’m fine. You guys...can’t help me.”

Taken aback, Seungcheol had never seen Mingyu this abrasive before. “Dude, we can help you. That’s what we’re here for.” Trying to reassure his friend that he was there, Seungcheol put his hand on Mingyu’s back. “You can talk to me about anything.”

Not anything, Mingyu thought, coming back to the root of his problem. It stung so bad thinking about how Wonwoo’s self-hating Jumper life was causing his pain. He felt the tears resurface, but he bit the inside of his cheek to keep them down.

Seungcheol could see all the hurt in Mingyu’s eyes as they began to glaze over. He couldn’t stand seeing him like this. He needed to know what was wrong to make it go away. “Mingyu, please talk to me. I want to help.”

Mingyu opened his mouth and was about to argue when the front door opened again.

“Mingyu!” they heard Seokmin’s voice scream from the living room.

Seungcheol sat up straight. “We’re in here!” he called back.

Like Seungcheol, Seokmin immediately came to the door, but his face was already terrible concerned. Rushing in, he came straight to Mingyu’s other side. “Mingyu, I am so sorry for that!” he frantically apologized. There was sweat on his brow, as if he’d run all the way home.

But Mingyu didn’t notice. He couldn’t stand being surrounded by his two best people when he knew not even they could help him. Standing up, he brushed the air. “I told you, it’s fine. Seokmin, you didn’t have to come all the way home—”

“Mingyu, you needed me and I couldn’t be there for you,” Seokmin said shamefully. “I feel terrible and I just—”

“No, don’t feel terrible,” Mingyu told him. He stepped back so he wasn’t tower over them as they sat. Wiping his cheeks, he tried not to cry, but it was already clear in his voice. “I don’t need more people to feel terrible.”

Seungcheol and Seokmin looked at each other with worried faces. Turning back to face Mingyu, Seungcheol said, “Please, Mingyu, tell us what’s going on. Come on, man. We’re always honest with each other.”

That pinched Seokmin right in the chest. “Yeah,” he added. “We’re always honest.” It hurt how he wasn’t telling the truth.

Mingyu stepped back further until he was leaning against the wall. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes. His head was clouded with Wonwoo and all of his feelings towards him and how those feelings were built around a complete abuse of his trust. I was honest with Wonwoo...and he did this to me.

I’m alone.

“You guys can’t help me.”

Seokmin’s heart was cracking all over again. “Maybe we can’t, but you can still talk to us. You can tell us about Wonwoo.”

Hearing someone else say his name may have been even worse. Losing the feeling in his knees, Mingyu slumped to the floor. Weighed down by all of his painful emotions, he couldn’t function. Nothing made sense. Everything always came back to Wonwoo lying to him about how he felt, or more importantly why he felt.

It was all a big scam...that I fell for. He just wanted to give the universe a reason to stop. I should’ve figured that out when I talked to Minghao. He’s waiting until the universe sees that his love is true before he tells Junhui. If Wonwoo did that...Why didn’t Wonwoo do that? It would’ve been real. Instead, he lied to himself...he lied to me. He lied to ing everybody. And then I fell for it. I fell for it without even wanting to acknowledge that I fell for it. How? How did I let this happen?!

These were all of the things he wanted to tell them about Wonwoo. These were all of the things that were crushing him bit by bit. These were all of the things that he knew, even though he hated Wonwoo, he could never share. Slowly opening his eyes, he found his worried friends before him. “No, I can’t.”

Washed over with guilt and sadness from how standoffish Mingyu was being, Seokmin and Seungcheol weren’t ready to give up. They needed him to be okay. “Mingyu…,” Seungcheol began to say.

But just then, Wonwoo the cat, who had been under the bed this whole time, crawled out with something in his mouth. Mingyu had forgotten he was down there. Everyone watched as he gently walked over and dropped the item into Mingyu’s hand. What everyone couldn’t see was Mingyu dying inside.

Mingyu was holding what looked like just an old, white T-shirt. It was dusty and all crumpled up, but when Mingyu straightened it out, he found a tear near the shoulder. It was the t-shirt that Wonwoo changed out of when Boba ripped it, when they were cleaning the cats what seemed like forever ago. He must’ve forgotten it.

Mingyu stared at it for a second. He got flashes to the moment he saw Wonwoo’s bare chest and how flustered he got. He was reminded of how nice that day was. He remembered talking to him about his cat house. Truly unable to handle himself, he angrily threw the shirt across the room at his trash bin. It didn’t go in, but the can fell over and made a loud clang, startling Seokmin, Seungcheol, and especially Wonwoo.

Seokmin exclaimed, “Mingyu!”

But before either of them could say anything else, Mingyu was on his feet, storming out of his own room.

— — —

“Wonwoo-ah, are you sure you don’t want to stay home and sleep? You’ve had a rough night.”

Shutting the door to his bedroom, Wonwoo didn’t want his grandma to see how puffy his eyes were. It was just last night he called her as a crying mess. He didn’t want to give her more reason to worry. Pressing his eyes, he turned around and replied, “I’m okay. Thanks, grandma. I’m gonna go out and see Chan.”

“No Mingyu today?” she asked from the kitchen, chopping some onions. She was such a skilled chef, not a single tear left her eyes.

But a million were welling behind Wonwoo’s. His heart aching, he shook his head. “No. No, Mingyu.”

“Bring him around when you can, dear. He likes my cooking,” she said with a cheeky grin.

Not wanting to disappoint her, he nodded but it hurt just the same. “Mm.”

She wiped her hands and finally looked up. Pointing to his chest, she asked, “Is that a new shirt?”

Looking down and grabbing the fabric, Wonwoo thought he was going to implode. He was wearing the grey shirt Mingyu loaned him that day they washed the cats. It felt like so long ago. Boba tore his shirt’s shoulder and he changed out of it. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember where that shirt went. Missing the boy way too much, Wonwoo wanted him close, so he decided to wear the shirt he borrowed. It was only now was he starting to regret that decision.

Holding it in his shaky breath, he didn’t reply. Squeezing the cloth in his fist, he clenched his teeth before releasing. He rushed to the front door. “I gotta go, grandma.”

And before she could even see if he was okay, the door shut and he was gone.

— — —

“Thanks for waiting,” Chan announced as he locked the front door to his house.

Leaning against the wall, Wonwoo straightened his back and stood upright. “Yeah, no worries.”

Without even looking at him, Chan could hear Wonwoo’s uneasiness. “Let’s go.”

“Thanks for meeting me,” he replied as they headed for the sidewalk. With his head down and his hands in his pockets, Wonwoo knew he couldn’t be alone with his emotions. After Joshua and Hansol were able to distract him, he became a total wreck at home. It was like he’d fallen into a pit of endless despair and self-hate. Dramatic aside, he truly felt devastated. Knowing that he had to get over this feeling, he decided he couldn’t do it by himself. Chan was by far one of the brightest people he knew. If Chan saw how wrong Wonwoo’s emotions were from the beginning, maybe he could right them.

“Of course, man,” Chan told him. Wonwoo had called him so abruptly, Chan knew something was wrong. They were on their way to get a late lunch. Wonwoo hadn’t eaten all day and Chan suggested that some food could be helpful. “I’m always here for you.” Turning to the side and looking up, he could see the mistiness in Wonwoo’s eyes. He wanted to help anyway he could. “I’m always here.”

Any other day, that would’ve made Wonwoo smile, but he couldn’t today. He didn’t want to feel this pain anymore. He couldn’t stand his broken heart. Cutting right to the chase, Wonwoo said, “I don’t know what to do anymore.” His head hanging low, he was desperate. “Tell me what to do.”

Shocked, Chan stared over at his friend. Wonwoo wasn’t typically one to just ask for orders. He was clever and quick witted and sometimes stupidly stubborn. He often came up with things on his own and didn’t want to follow anything other than what he firmly believed. That’s how he survived alone in the world half of everyday. This was the boy who refused to hold back everything he had even when Chan warned him about how he was trying to control the universe. Obviously, his friends were there to give advice and help him reach a conclusion, but very rarely did he utter the words “tell me what to do.”

And it almost scared Chan to be on the receiving end, especially since he didn’t even know what was wrong yet. All he knew was his friend seemed sadder than he’d ever been.

“Hyung…”

“I confessed to Mingyu again,” Wonwoo blurted out. This was the first time he’d recounted what happened aloud. Somehow, it left a bitter taste in his mouth to speak about. “But it didn’t go like before.”

His voice was so low, Chan had to lighten his steps to hear just how broken he sounded. “Mingyu has feelings for me,” Wonwoo continued. Finally lifting his head, he looked up at the grey sky that seemed to mirror what he felt. “But he questions why I have feelings for him…” Letting the end of his sentence hang, Wonwoo started to cry. “...and I couldn’t tell him otherwise.”

From there, Chan caught on. Wonwoo needed his help because Chan had already seen this coming. “This is about the universe,” he said gently.

“This is about how I can’t separate my feelings...from wanting to stop,” Wonwoo affirmed.

For a moment, they both walked in silence, until Wonwoo added, “I ed up, Chan, and you knew that I was going to up.”

Feeling so guilty for being right, Chan frantically turned to him and waved his hands up. “Hyung! I didn’t—!”

But Wonwoo didn’t care who was right and who was wrong. He just wanted to fix it all. “Tell me what to do!”

Chan stopped in his tracks and stared at Wonwoo, his mouth hanging slightly open. He watched his friend walk a few paces ahead. “Hyung.”

When Wonwoo stopped and turned to face him, Chan could see that he wasn’t just sad anymore. That frustration surfaced. That desperate mix of sadness and pure anger. He’d never seen him like this before.

Wonwoo stood before him with his fists held firmly to his sides. Tears poured down his face. “I ruined everything with someone I thought meant more to me than anything in this world! I thought I was in love with Mingyu! I thought my feelings were true! But the second he asked me if it was because of any other reason…” He couldn’t go on. His head falling limp, he just stood there with all his tension and despair. Blubbering like an idiot, he didn’t know what to do.

Chan was hypnotized by his crying friend. He didn’t even notice all of the curious eyes from down the sidewalk or across the street. For a moment, he just stared, letting his heart crumble a bit to match what he was seeing, but obviously no feeling could compare to Wonwoo’s. Words weren’t coming to his mind as his brain tried to think up a solution to all of this. He wanted more than anything to help Wonwoo stop; stop the pain, stop the crying, stop...in its entirety, he wished he could do that for him. But Chan figured that there was no easy answer for this.

Still bawling, Wonwoo had his eyes shut. He only lifted his head when he felt two firm hands grip the side of his arms. Glancing up, he found Chan’s reassuring eyes staring back at him. Even though Chan was a lot shorter, his gaze gave off his powerful, overwhelming presence. Chan’s eyebrows creased in just slightly to show his determination. For a minute, they silently stared into each other’s eyes. Wonwoo sniffled to pause his tears.

Once he finally saw his friend breathe, even if it was just for an instance, Chan squeezed his arms a little harder. With a slight smile out of the corner of his mouth, he offered the best advice he could for the moment, “Let’s get lunch.”

Surprised that he didn’t hear something more profound, Wonwoo blinked a few times. Somehow, those three words were followed by a moment of relief. He didn’t smile back, but he wiped away a tear. Holding his head up as well as he could, he gave a firm nod and affirmatively grumbled, “Mmm.”

Chan flashed a bigger smile and pat his friend on the back. “Let’s go.”

The rest of the way there was a lot less tense, even though neither of them talked. They didn’t acknowledge it, but Chan was leading the way. Wonwoo wasn’t crying anymore, but he was still filled with that grey, cloudy feeling. He didn’t pay attention until he noticed Chan stopped walking. They both stood in front of the restaurant and Wonwoo immediately felt his chest sink as he looked up at the sign.

10/10.

He tilted his head and looked at Chan, totally unamused. “Really?” he flatly uttered. “Out of all the places in Seoul, this is where you wanted to eat?”

For a moment, Chan could hear Wonwoo’s normal sarcasm come back, but he wasn’t sure. Confused, he replied, “Why? What’s wrong with…” But he cut himself off as he realized this was the cafe Mingyu and his friends usually hung out at. Quickly waving his hands up again, he yelled, “OH MY GOD, HYUNG! I’M SO SORRY! I TOTALLY FORGOT!”

But this time around, Wonwoo just burst out laughing. For some reason, Chan’s honest mistake was a lot more refreshing than the universe’s continuous slaps to the face. “It’s okay, Chan.” Stepping forward, he held the door open. “Let’s eat.”

Glad that the mood had lightened a little, Chan walked in and got in line. “You get a table. I’ll order something good.”

Nodding, Wonwoo obliged and went to a booth by the window. He carefully chose the one that wasn’t where he sat when he first hung out with Mingyu and his roommates. He could hear B1A4’s Sandeul’s new solo song, Stay As You Are, play overhead. Staring outside, he tried to clear his mind. But obviously, he failed.

I ed everything up. I just...I ed it up. How did I...how did I even manage to do that? Like...he...likes me. That’s what I’ve been wanting all along. But...I don’t even get it. What’s wrong with me? Damn it, Wonwoo. Figure out your own damn feelings. Do you only love Mingyu because you want to stop?

He paused.

! I HESITATED! HOW COULD I HESITATE?!

Slamming his head into the table, he laid there in frustration.

THIS IS HOW YOU ED UP! You can’t hesitate like that! Of course you love Mingyu for more reasons! Just...stopping is...a big reason.

He let out a huge sigh.

It’s a terrible reason, but it doesn’t make my feelings any weaker. I still love him...and I’m still so dumb...for ing this all up.

He paused again. With his forehead flat against the surface, he was reminded of where he left Mingyu, crying face down on his desk. That hit him even harder.

, how is Mingyu taking all of this? He was crying like crazy when I left. God damn it, I did that to him! He has feelings for me! And I crushed him! What would’ve happened if that was me? I’d probably be dead right now. Jesus Christ, I messed everything up. I don’t even—

But just as Wonwoo was going to scream to himself a little more, he felt the table shake. “I got you some curry. It’s cold today, so that should warm you up.”

Lifting his head, he leaned back into the booth. “Thanks.”

Chan in his lips and nodded. As he was waiting in line, he was trying to think of what to say to cheer Wonwoo up. Obviously, there wasn’t much he could offer. But still…

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

Wonwoo was thrown off. Crinkling his eyebrows, he began to ask, “What are you sorry—”

But Chan beat him to it. “I’m sorry I was right.”

Wonwoo didn’t say anything. He just listened.

Chan sighed and reached for some napkins out of the dispenser at the end of the table. Not making eye contact, he wiped the surface. “I’m sorry that I was right to warn you about how your feelings for Mingyu came to be.” Wonwoo watched his friend brush crumbs off the table top. “I didn’t want to be right. I thought I was just letting you know how I thought the universe worked. I’m sorry that you and Mingyu got into a fight…” He finished cleaning and looked up. “...about something I could’ve stopped.”

As hard as those words were to hear, Wonwoo appreciated every one of them. None of them offered actual help with his situation, but just coming from Chan was enough. He’s always here for me, Wonwoo reminded himself. With that, he found comfort.

“It’s not your fault, Chan,” Wonwoo replied. “And I don’t think you taking the blame helps, but thanks.” Leaning on his fist, he grumbled, “I ed up so hard. I’m the only one to blame.”

Chan hated seeing him like this. “Don’t beat yourself up about it, hyung. Your heart’s already doing that for you.”

“Isn’t that the truth.”

With a chuckle, Chan tried to think of something more constructive. “I mean, yeah, you ed up but...how can you fix it?”

Wonwoo had absolutely no idea. “That’s why I needed you to tell me what to do.” Feeling it build up in his chest, Wonwoo’s pain was maxing out. “I have absolutely no idea.”

“Do you want me to distract you?” Chan offered.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Wonwoo answered. “Josh and Hansol have been distracting me all night. I don’t know, I feel like I should face this problem already.”

“Maybe you’re not ready to face the problem,” Chan suggested.

Even more confused, Wonwoo really didn’t know what his younger friend meant. “I really don’t know what you mean.”

“I mean,” Chan started to say, contemplating where exactly he was going with this, “this just happened, what, yesterday? Hyung, we have plenty of problems to deal with and this is just another one that’s way worse on you. Maybe...it’s okay to be this sad sometimes.” Finding that weird to say, Chan tried to think of a better way to explain it. “I mean, horrible things are going on and you may have actually forgot about them for a moment because of what’s happening with Mingyu. I don’t mean to remind you about Soonyoung and Jihoon, but have you been thinking about how bad it is that they know so much? Minghao and Joshua are definitely freaking out.”

Wonwoo had to admit that he hadn’t since getting back. He was overwhelmed with his Mingyu situation he forgot about just how horrible everything else was too. “Chan, that’s not helpful.”

“I know,” Chan made clear. “But what I’m trying to say is, what you’re feeling right now isn’t just because of Mingyu. You have a right to feel awful.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“But that’s what’s happening,” Chan pointed out. He wanted his friend to see what he was getting at. Leaning over the table, he said, “Hyung, we are all in a very bad place, and you’re definitely in the worst. I know it feels like the world is ending and there’s nothing we can do…” Chan lowered his head and sighed before going on. “...but maybe that’s because there really is nothing we can do right now.” He took a moment to see that Wonwoo was still listening. “I’m so sorry that you’re going through all of this, but there’s nothing that can take this feeling away. I’m wracking my brain, trying to figure out how to help you fix everything, Wonwoo, but my only offering is that this will subside. You just have to endure it because...I don’t know why. Maybe because your feelings for Mingyu were so strong in the first place that they’re hurting you this much? I really don’t know. Relationships aren’t my forte.” He paused and tried to regroup as he caught himself spiralling out of control. “My point is...I don’t think anything can fix your broken heart right now. All I think you can do, hyung, is try to figure out the world that you’ll re-enter once it is time for your heart to heal. And that means...distracting yourself.”

Wonwoo sat there without any words of response. Chan wasn’t sure how to take that. A bit panicky, he sat back up. “Did that make any sense?” he asked nervously. “Because I kind of just came up with that on the fly.”

And somehow, that was distraction enough to make Wonwoo smile. “That made sense, Chan.” Thinking it through, he summarized, “There’s nothing I can do to fix this mess right now, so the best I can do is endure the sadness and think of other things that’ll still be around when I’m not sad anymore.”

Thrilled that he’d broken through, Chan smiled. “Exactly,” he said as the waiter finally came by with their food. With their bowls in front of them, Chan said, “Time to distract yourself.”

Finally realizing how hungry he was, Wonwoo dipped his spoon in and got a mouthful of curry. Grinning in his bowl, he replied, “Time to distract myself.”

Chan laughed as he watched the boy eat. “We have a million things we could talk about,” Chan proposed, shoving aside all of the things they couldn’t talk about in public. Finally noticing what his friend was wearing, he pointed at his chest. “Is that a new shirt?”

Without even lifting his head, Wonwoo whipped his chopsticks and pointed them straight at the boy’s face. “Talk about something else.”

As the two of them worked and laughed to ignore Wonwoo’s pains, they didn’t bother paying attention to what else was going on around them. Another day when Wonwoo didn’t have so much on his mind, he might’ve noticed the boy with the familiar blonde hair sitting just a few tables away. If he’d noticed, Wonwoo would’ve insisted that he and Chan go eat somewhere else. But he didn’t, and Soonyoung heard everything.

After being asked to leave the bakery by Seokmin, Soonyoung wasn’t feeling so great and decided to stop by the cafe for a drink. He felt guilty that it was his fault that Seokmin had to turn Mingyu away, but at the same time he wanted to hear the whole conversation, which made him feel even guiltier. He needed to clear his head and he needed to think about what he was doing, when Wonwoo walked in. It was one of those serendipitous moments that he often wished for, but this was the only time Soonyoung wasn’t hoping to see their person of interest. It just made him feel worse.

But still, he had a job to do.

He got out his phone and immediately texted Jihoon.

Soonyoung
Im at 10/10 and Wonwoos here with Chan
Wonwoo said he ed up
They’re worried about how much we know

Before Jihoon replied, Soonyoung paused. This next bit of information seemed almost too good to be true, but picturing Seokmin made Soonyoung feel so bad about it. He took a deep breath. I’m just doing what I promised to do.

Soonyoung
He mentioned Joshua and Minghao

He didn’t have to wait long for Jihoon to respond.

Jihoon
So Chan’s linked too
Damn
We’ve got something

— — —

“Ahhh, you guys have such good food places around here!” Jeonghan exclaimed as they left the pizza parlor.

Joshua giggled. “It’s just pizza, Jeonghan. This isn’t even that impressive.”

Rolling his eyes, Jeonghan readjusted his jacket. “I don’t eat out that often! It was so good! But honestly, I don’t know if I could eat it every day.”

“You just have to get used to it,” Joshua insisted as he led the way.

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at him. “So you guys actually could live off of burgers and pizza every day?”

Joshua nodded as the two of them cut through the park. Jeonghan had asked if they all wanted to go out just before he had swim practice. Ducking out right after the meal for a club meeting, Vernon left his cousin and Jeonghan to themselves. He knew they wouldn’t mind.

He chuckled and responded, “I know, it’s very American of us. But to be honest, I don’t think I could have kimchi every day. I just don’t think my stomach’s used to it anymore.”

“Wow, isn’t that a culture shock,” Jeonghan laughed, holding his swim bag over his shoulder. “But maybe my coach just has me brainwashed. That sounds so greasy.”

Joshua shrugged. “You’re just too healthy. Don’t worry, if you stay with us long enough, we’ll wipe that out of you.”

With a smile, Jeonghan replied, “There’s nothing wrong with being healthy, but I wouldn’t mind staying with you guys longer. Maybe I can make you some real Korean food one day.”

That smile was enough to get Joshua’s palms sweaty. “You can cook?” he asked, shocked by just how much this boy did.

“I can do everything, Jisoo. You don’t even know.”

Clearly, I don’t, he thought to himself, a big smile on his face. The more Joshua talked to Jeonghan, the more he felt his heart beat. It had been like this since he got there, but it was oddly even more today. Maybe it was because he’d gotten the all clear from Wonwoo that morning. But he tried not to think about it too much.

“You can do everything, huh?” Joshua teased.

But Jeonghan wasn’t letting up. With a confident nod, he pointed to his chest. “You name it, and I can do it.”

Squinting at him, Joshua wanted to test that. “Hmmm.” He looked all around at what obstacles he could suggest. His eyes locked onto a sturdy looking oak. Pointing to the nearby tree, he said, “Can you climb that tree?”

Jeonghan scoffed and was prepared to demonstrate his skill. Pulling off his shoulder bag, he handed the strap to Joshua. “Hold this.”

Joshua obliged as he watched the boy spring into action. With hardly any effort, Jeonghan hopped up and grabbed the thickest branch in reach. With ease, he pulled himself up and over to sit on it. Swinging his legs back and forth, he victoriously smiled down at Joshua. “What did I say?”

Falling for this boy’s playfulness, Joshua couldn’t stop smiling. Impressed, he slowly applauded. “I guess you’re right. You can do everything.”

Jeonghan laughed and looked up into the leaves. The setting sun lit up the spaces they didn’t fill. Pleased with what he saw, he glanced down at Joshua on ground level. Jeonghan couldn’t help but notice how beautiful everything looked from up there. Patting the spot beside him, he said, “Sit with me.”

Caught off guard, Joshua got all flustered. “What?! No! I can’t get up there!”

Seeing this, Jeonghan laughed and gestured for the boy to come up. “Come on! What? You can sing and play guitar but climbing a little bit’s where your talents end?”

Pleased by how cute Jeonghan was being but unamused by being provoked, Joshua had to admit that his athletic abilities weren’t that great. “I can’t get up there! You overestimate my abilities!”

Rolling his eyes again, Jeonghan repositioned so his stomach was on the branch and his head and arms were dangling off the side. He looked like a sloth. “I’ll pull you up!” he insisted.

Shocked by just how far this boy would go, Joshua burst out laughing. “You couldn’t possibly pull me up!”

Jeonghan scoffed and reached his hands towards Joshua. His hair swayed beautifully with every move. “You underestimate my abilities!”

“Jeonghan!”

“Jisoo!”

Taking a moment to just stare in awe, Joshua could see there was no arguing. With a sigh, he gently placed Jeonghan’s bag on the ground and walked over so he was right underneath the boy. Jeonghan’s arms reached down to about Joshua’s shoulder’s so they could easily link. Uneasy, Joshua was only calmed by Jeonghan’s touch. Still though…

“Jeonghan, I don’t think this is a good idea,” he said nervously.

Ignoring that, Jeonghan said, “Just swing your leg up when you’re higher.”

“Swing my leg up? What does that—”

But before he could even finish, Jeonghan yanked him off the ground.

“WOAH!”

In a split second, Joshua reached the point where he just had to swing his leg up. Before he knew it, he was hugging the branch that he and Jeonghan now shared.

Laughing hysterically, Jeonghan fixed himself so he was sitting upright again. Brushing his hair aside, he smiled at the shaking boy beside him. “I told you I can do everything!”

Still shocked by the fact he was no longer on the ground, Joshua slowly looked up at the boy who continued to laugh. He couldn’t help but smile back. Straightening up, he swung his other leg over so they were sitting side by side. Dusting off his chest, he exclaimed, “How did you do that?!”

Jeonghan smiled and flexed his skinny-but-powerful arm. “The strength of a swimmer. I don’t practice every day for nothing.”

Joshua laughed and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess you’re right.” As the shock was wearing off, Joshua realized his heart was pounding so hard just because he was sitting with Jeonghan. He glanced over and saw how nice the leaves looked behind Jeonghan. Joshua couldn’t help but notice how beautiful everything looked from up there.

Chuckling into his chest, Joshua shook his head. “I still can’t believe you pulled me up here.”

Trying to look him in the eye, Jeonghan leaned over. “What? You thought I was gonna drop you?” he asked teasingly.

“I was scared you would let go,” Joshua admitted.

With a gentle smile, Jeonghan stared at the side of the boy’s soft face. This was the boy from the other side of the world who’d kindly let him in. It was because of this boy that he got to try and shoot for his dream. Meaning everything, Jeonghan replied, “Ahh, Jisoo. I could never let you go.”

Hit smack dab in the chest, Joshua remembered what Wonwoo told him earlier that day. “If Jeonghan feels the same way you do, then he’ll never want to let you go.”

His heart beating in his ears, Joshua was overwhelmed and nervous and anxious and delirious, but it felt right.

“Jeonghan.”

“Hmm,” he mumbled as they turned to face each other.

With everything he was feeling, this was the one moment Joshua didn’t hesitate. “Will you go out with me?”

It felt like everything went in slow motion. Joshua’s heart was pounding out of his chest as he waited for a response to a question he’d been asked plenty of times but never asked anyone himself. Jeonghan’s jaw hung slightly open before it turned back into a smile. As a swimmer, he was used to not having that much oxygen, but he’d never met someone who could so easily take his breath away.

A huge grin on his face, he replied, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Not sure what he was expecting, Joshua’s eyes grew wide. For some reason, that was just as shocking as Jeonghan being able to pull him into the tree. “REALLY?!”

Bursting into laughter, Jeonghan had to grip Joshua’s shoulder to stop himself from falling over. “What?!” he said, smiling at the boy who still looked really surprised. “Did you think I would say no?!”

“I—I—I,” Joshua stammered, which just made Jeonghan laugh even more.

“Jisoo!” Jeonghan yelled, trying to get a hold of himself. Calming down, he managed to look him in the eyes. Squeezing his shoulder a little tighter, he endearingly said, “I will go out with you.”

And then Joshua’s shock slowly faded to the proper excitement. A huge smile came across his face and he was beaming at Jeonghan. No words were coming out of his mouth, but he didn’t need to say anything. They just sat there, happily enjoying each other’s company.

Jeonghan would’ve liked to stay there forever, but both of them were quickly startled when his phone went off in his pants. Taking it out, Jeonghan’s eyes popped out of his head when he finally saw the time. “CRAP!” he shouted. Without warning, he hopped down from the branch and landed on the ground. He didn’t want to leave, but he had to. “IT’S 5:45!” he called back up to Joshua. Grabbing his bag off the ground, he exclaimed, “Sorry, Jisoo! I’m gonna be late for practice!”

A little disappointed that he had to go too, Joshua still wore that smile. “It’s okay!” he called back. “As long as you still go out with me!”

Jeonghan was amazed by just how much this boy could make him feel. With a smile, he nodded. “We’ll talk about it at home!” Starting to run off out of the park, Jeonghan looked back at his date for as long as he could. “See you later, Jisoo!”

Joshua waved back, feeling more satisfied than he ever had before. “Bye, Jeonghan!”

He watched as the boy with the long hair turned his back and started to get smaller and smaller. Joshua almost couldn’t believe what he just did. His heart was still racing but it felt like he was on cloud nine. Jeonghan’s gonna go out with me, he kept reminding himself, as if that fact would slip from reality if he didn’t keep repeating it. It was unreal and Joshua couldn’t be happier. Taking in a deep breath, he closed his eyes and thought of how great their date would be, and how he had to tell Vernon.

Still feeling higher than ever, Joshua opened his eyes and was suddenly hit with something that he didn’t mean to forget. Panic washing over him, he looked out and could see that Jeonghan was way out of earshot. Still, he screamed out, “WAIT! HOW DO I GET DOWN FROM HERE?!”

OH ALSO! Someone tweeted me and pointed out that hip hop units check in mv has parts in it that reminded them of this fic XD aghhh that song is so great and i have to say its actually really funny how much you can relate this fic and all the place the jumpers have been to the lyrics of the song and the mv idk i thought that was really awesome <3 Shoutout to who tweeted me <3

And uhh lol also XD i wanted to announce over here that im working on this project for the holidays (what better way to help ease my workload than give myself something else to work on ;)) called 13 Days of SEVENTEEN ill just link it HERE you can read the description over there if youre interested :D basically its gonna be a series of one shots for all the seventeen members XD ANYWAY! Finishing up, thanks for everything guys and hope to speak to you again soon!