Chapter 016

✥Kyujong dropped into his seat this time fully clothed as Hyungjun tottered over to the front of his desk. Once Kyujong gazed up to meet his friend’s eyes, the lad let out an annoyed sigh. One Kyujong has not heard in a long time, “Is something suddenly stressing you out?” Kyujong began, making Hyungjun sigh again before he leaned against the desk, “Usually you’re so calm and irritating but this time you’re sighing more than me,”

Hyungjun tossed his hands into the air, expressing his sudden anger, “I still can’t believe I caught you two in the middle of it. What am I supposed to tell Junghwa or act around her when she finally catches on? Am I supposed to just admit that I knew and has been hiding the fact that Youngsaeng had no feelings for her anymore from her? That would make her hate me more than she already does,” he let out all of his frustration to Kyujong.

“It’s strange to see you act like Sungyeol,” Kyujong commented, knocking some senses back into Hyungjun. The lad finally cleared his throat and pocketed his hands. Then immediately he regained his composure and spoke in his normal, careless tone.

“Anyway, what are you going to do? If Youngsaeng’s memories really did come back, are you going to make a move on him? Or, actually wait, you already did,” Hyungjun said in an unhappy voice as he turned to lock eyes with the man in the chair. Right there and then, a smirk crawled across Kyujong’s face and the look in his eyes changed.

“I’m going to make him choose me before Junghwa can visit,” Kyujong replied.

Hyungjun broke their eye contact before turning his head around and faced forward with his whole body, there he heaved another audible sigh, “Fine, do whatever you want. I wanted to and should probably stop you, but it seems like Youngsaeng thinks like you. So there’s no point in me trying to stop you both,”

“Why should you stop us? The one you like is Junghwa,” Kyujong said, as if he was reminding his friend that the lass was wide open for him to make his move on her.

“Sure, but the one she’s married to and love is Youngsaeng,”

Kyujong wanted to chuckle at his silly mistake. For a brief moment he forgot Youngsaeng and Junghwa were still married, and why they got married was for love. Or was it? He wasn’t so sure anymore, but for a fact they were still together by paper and the law.

Sungyeol was heading into the dining room with a stack of papers in his hand when he felt the vibration of his phone in his back pocket. In case it was an emergency, he quickly trapped his paper load under his armpit in order to easily reached into his pocket. As he pulled the device out, he noticed it was a message from Junghwa. His eyes widen a bit before scanning the room, making sure no one was paying him any closed attention. Then when he felt safe, he opened up his phone to check on the text.

Surprisingly and for the first time she seemed happier in her message. ‘Thanks for the nth flower bunch but please don’t send anymore. I have no more rooms for them, even my teaching room has random vases of flowers. Also, I went easy on the kids just like you’ve asked. So please take care of Youngsaeng Mr. Lee Sungyeol.’ was written. A satisfied smile grew onto Sungyeol’s face before he threw his phone back into his pocket and continued toward his destination.

At the front counter, he quickly placed his order and found himself an empty table near the walls. On the same table he spread out his paperwork and gaze its contents while eating his salad with one hand. Once in awhile the words of Junghwa’s text would climb into the front of his thoughts and he’d smile to himself like a fool.

When Youngsaeng thought he could slip away and catch the 6PM bus, he was wrong when he found Kyujong outside of his room. The hotel owner was sitting on the ground, his back against the wall to Youngsaeng’s room. Once they made eye contact, Youngsaeng attempted to retreat alone but Kyujong outpowered and was able to enter the room as well. Youngsaeng walked deeper into the room, dropping his luggage and bag onto the ground near the bed, while Kyujong shut and lock the door in front of him. Surprised by his unwanted and uninvited visit, Youngsaeng could do nothing but wait for the man to explain why he was there.

“I thought you may have left with Hyungjun at the two o’clock bus but when I heard you were still here I assumed you’ll catch the six o’clock instead,” Kyujong said, folding  his arms across his teal button up.

“I thought I should ask you before you leave,” Kyujong said, hanging his question in the air while waiting for Youngsaeng to respond.

“What is it?”

Kyujong breathed out a visible exhalation before continuing, “Your memories, returned didn’t they?” The two look one another in the eyes carefully, Youngsaeng trying to read Kyujong’s thoughts and wondering if he should give the intruder the truth or a white lie. Kyujong, on the other hand, was waiting to see if Youngsaeng would lie or speak the truth.

“And if they did?” Youngsaeng posed by trying to stay in the middle line of safe and curiosity.

“Then, you remembered what happened right?”

“What do you mean?”

“My mother,” Kyujong said without blinking. Then he noticed how Youngsaeng’s eyes shook a little as he was caught off guard.

“What about your mother?” Youngsaeng asked, trying to keep calm though he knew where it was going.

“The truth about her,”

Youngsaeng could feel the sweat forming in his hand and on his temple before he turned his side to Kyujong, “The truth?” Youngsaeng repeated, not looking the lad in the eyes.

“Why she committed suicide after coming out from your house. Why did your parents started to change? Why did our relationship started to change? Why did you suddenly wanted to marry Junghwa when you’ve shown no interests in her to begin with—”

“My thoughts were right then,” Youngsaeng said, cutting Kyujong off from his endless questions.

“What?” Kyujong frowned at the unexpected answer. The thrown off  Youngsaeng from before suddenly changed when the look in his eyes grew darker and confident.

“When you said you brought me here to change my mind, you didn’t mean you wanted me here because you like me,”

Kyujong responded with a scoff, “What other reason would I want you here for then?”

“Revenge,” Youngsaeng blurted out. This time it was Kyujong’s turn to feel the heat and sweat, “you wanted me here so you can convince me, but I’m not going to fall for it,”

“What do you mean by that?” Kyujong questioned under a whisper as he was uncertain of Youngsaeng’s meaning.

“You knew too didn’t you? Why she committed suicide,” Youngsaeng said, to bring back Kyujong’s question. “You must hate me because I’m my parents son,”

“What are you sayin—?” Kyujong stopped himself once he had caught on, “Are you implying that my mother’s death did have something to do with your parents?”

This time Youngsaeng frowned a little, “You didn’t know…?”

As the night deepens and the sky darkens, Kyujong found himself in his office alone. As the clock struck ten, Kyujong became fully aware that Youngsaeng was no longer in Incheon. Spacing out, Kyujong watched the city of Incheon from his office window. Like the city’s peace, Kyujong wished he had some of it but in his mind and ears was all that Youngsaeng had said from before.

“Before your brother was announced dead, your mother came to our house. She begged my parents to help your brother live. But my parents turned your mother away. When your brother passed, your mother came back and said Kyuwoon’s death was all because of my parents. Instead of comforting and empathizing with your mother…. My parents said some harsh words to her…. And then that night she well, you know what happened. I’m sorry for what happened Kyujong, but if you only pretend to love me in order to control and hurt me then it’s better if I go back to Seoul. I should go back to Junghwa, because my memories came back,”

Kyujong was now playing with a pen in his hand as he sat silently in his chair. The lights were out in his whole office, thus when Sungyeol knocked and entered, he was shocked and blinded through the dark. “President? Kim Kyujong are you in?” Sungyeol asked at the door. He didn’t move a muscle until he was sure that he could see Kyujong’s silhouette at the desk. “What the... why is he sitting in the dark?” Sungyeol asked himself as he went in to switch on the lights. Once the lights came on, Sungyeol quickly make his way toward the expensive wooden object. “President, I have something to give you,”

As Sungyeol dug from his front pant pocket, he managed to pull out a necklace Kyujong would have been familiar with if he was paying any attention. Sungyeol set the globe necklace onto the table followed by a note, “Youngsaeng left this before he left and he also left behind a letter for you,” Sungyeol said, pushing the objects toward Kyujong. Finally, Kyujong took a break from staring elsewhere and looked toward the objects.

“Sungyeol,” Kyujong said, his voice cracky and throat dried.

“Oh don’t worry President, I didn’t read it,” Sungyeol said in defense, but Kyujong did not crack a smile at his action.

“I’m not talking about that,”

“Oh, then why did you call my name in such a serious tone? I thought you were going to ask me about it,” Sungyeol pointed out with a slight chuckle.

Kyujong sighed and stood up, causing Sungyeol to lean back with a dying chuckle. Once Kyujong locked eyes with Sungyeol, he asked, “What kind of person am I? Am I someone that doesn’t even deserve love?”

“Huh?” Sungyeol questioned with one brow higher than the other.

“He thinks everything I’ve done up to now was all for revenge. Do I really that bad at expressing myself?” Kyujong asked before walking away from his chair and toward the windows once more. Sungyeol wasn’t sure how to react as he wasn’t sure how he could help ease the lad’s mood. Plus he had never seen Kyujong in such a depressed phrase. Well he had, but it wasn’t so deep to the point where he’d feel like crying if Kyujong cried. “Sometimes I wished he had some sense. Why would I want to avenge a mother who did not love me more than her second child? Why would I? To a mother who cursed and swore at me when I tried to help her beloved second child? Just why would I to a mother who did not even consider me her son?”

Sungyeol was lost for words and in the meantime thought it’d be best if he just kept silent. He assumed Kyujong just needed a listener then he’d feel better and return to himself again. At least it was a feeling Sungyeol was starting to get used to as he exchanged texts with Junghwa. How ranting about his workload days to Junghwa actually made him feel better, even when her responses weren’t as comforting as his, but supportive they were.

“Should I wonder if I deserve love or should I just work myself to death like my father, Sungyeol?” Kyujong’s question brought Sungyeol back into the moment and the lad decided to stay silent still. “Or should I give it all up and just play around? Wouldn’t a life without any bad thoughts, unanswered wonders, and bitter memories be better than now?”

“President…,” Sungyeol finally uttered in a low tone. Kyujong’s mood suddenly drained all of Sungyeol’s energy, and in the moment he too wondered what would be the best answer for his boss.

“You asked why our relationship started to change?

Why I married Junghwa?

At first it was to help you get over me.

Secondly it was my dying mother’s wish to see a grandchild.

But my love for you as a friend had always remained the same. It was you who tried to use it to make me fall for you and I did, which is why I hated myself because it was unfair to Junghwa who sincerely loved me. Which was also why I tried to stay away from you and why I never tried to contact you a year after you left. I knew you didn’t see me as a friend so I never tried to bring you back. But when you came to the hospital I thought you came as a friend. So I thought to test you but you got angry. I know then that your feelings remained. And so I was wrong. I hope this letter would get to you. I wished I could have said everything in person as there are still ill feelings between us; however, I couldn’t bring myself to say any of these words. By the time you read this letter I’ll probably be in Seoul. I hope we never meet again. Not even as friends. Just consider me dead Kyujong. Imagined you never came to Seoul, you never saw me in a hospital bed, in a coma, and that I never came to Incheon. Please don’t look for me and if we happen to pass while you’re on a business trip in Seoul, please ignore me because I will do the same. Think of me as a passing wind Kim Kyujong and live well.

- Heo Youngsaeng,”

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