Hello wonderful people. Well, it's been quite sometime since I've updated this story, but it's here now. So I was lisening to the song Crossfire by Stephen while I was writing this, so check it out of you'd like. Anyway, WARNING: there is self harm in this part so beware. It's not that graphic, but it is there. Anyways, enjoy and let me know what you think. 

Jisoo watches as Jihoon leaves the party with a confused Seungcheol behind him. He doesn’t know why it is that Jihoon refuses to listen to him, but Jisoo was also in the same situation. Right now he’s confused because Jeonghan lied to his friends. There’s no way that Jeonghan is fated to be with Seungcheol because it’s Jisoo who’s fated to be with Jeonghan.  He sits outside as he hears the glass door slide open. He doesn’t have to look to know it’s Jeonghan.

“Why are you out here, Jisoo?” asks Jeonghan.

“I dunno, I like the quiet I guess,” he replies.

“Do you want some company?” asks Jeonghan shyly and Jisoo nods his head.

“Why are you out here?” he asks Jeonghan and Jeonghan sighs.

“Lots of reasons.”

“Which are?”

“I can’t do this to myself anymore.”

“Do what?”

“Lie. I lied out there because I didn’t want to accept the fact that I can’t find my soul mate. Seungcheol and I aren’t happy. We appear that way, but we’re not. I can’t do this anymore.” Jisoo nods silently. So this was why Jeonghan said he could see the red string between him and Seungcheol. It made sense now.

“You can’t see your string right?” Jisoo asks and Jeonghan nods sadly.

“It’s okay,” he says as he places a hand over Jeonghan’s.

“You’ll find him soon,” he says as he smiles gently at Jeonghan and Jeonghan reciprocates. It’s best not to tell him that he’s Jeonghan’s soulmate. Jeonghan isn’t ready for that yet. But he’ll wait until the right moment comes.

Jihoon stares at himself in the mirror and he hates what he sees. He’s just revealed his secret affections to Seungcheol. He’s just made a mess of what was already a huge mess. He should have never fallen for Seungcheol. He can’t undo what he’s done and he fears for what will happen after this. His arm begins to feels tingly and that can only mean one thing. He’s itching for the cool feel of the blade sliding across his skin. He’s had this problem ever since he realized that he could never be with Seungcheol that and the problems he had back at home. It was his escape and he tried resisting the urge to harm himself but it never works and today is no exception. He doesn’t know how he was able to hide this from his friends, but he’s done a good job at it, and he’s thankful for that because the last thing he needs is for them to prod into his life.

He walks back to his drawer and searches frantically for the sharp metal object that he’s become so familiar with. Words cannot describe how happy he feels when he finds it tucked underneath one of his drawers. He walks back to the bathroom as he carefully slides the razor across his wrist, to him; he sees it as a work of art, something that at this moment is taking him away from what he’s just done. He looks back up at the mirror and all he sees is the painful reflection that is now Lee Jihoon. He used to be happy. He remembers when he used to be happy with his life. Now every thing’s changed. The blood on his arm resembles the small thread that is connected to Seungcheol’s pinky. Fate is a . When he first saw that he and Seungcheol were soulmates, Jihoon felt as if his whole world had finally pieced itself together. All he wanted to do was to go up to Seungcheol and tell him if he could see it too. Thing was, he couldn’t, and the day that Jihoon figured out he and Seungcheol were ‘destined’ to be was the same day Seungcheol went and hooked up with Jeonghan. It’s funny how fate works. The red strings of fate huh, more like the red strings of misery.

Do you know how it feels to have something you love be ripped from you? To be crushed under your gaze until you feel like you have nothing to be happy for? If you don’t, then Jihoon sincerely hopes that it stays that way because it’s a pain far worse than imaginable. But he’s coping and as the coolness of the blade rips through his milky white skin, he can tell you that he feels slightly better. He can see as his tears mix with the red liquid that is his blood. It’s such a pretty sight for Jihoon. He feels dizzy, but it doesn’t faze him and he goes in deeper because why not? What kind of ed up thing has Jihoon done to be played by the hands of fate.

The dorms are pretty quiet since everyone is partying at god knows where, which is how Jihoon is able to hear Seungcheol calling out for him.

“Jihoon,” he hears Seungcheol say from the stairwell and his eyes double in size because Jihoon can’t let Seungcheol find him, not like this. Not when his scars are visible and bleeding, so he stashes his razer in his pocket, rolls down his sleeves, and rushes out the door. He can’t stay in his dorm and risk Seungcheol finding him there. He bumps into a wall as he tries to make his way out of the complex. Maybe he cut a little bit too deep, deeper than he had ever before, but he has to keep going. He can hear Seungcheol knocking on the dorm, the dorm which Jihoon is no longer in. He can still hear Seungcheol call out his name, which means he’s not far enough, so he tries to pick up the pace, but his vision is getting blurry and his wrist is stinging. He accidentally crashes into a bin and no doubt Seungcheol has heard.

“Jihoon, is that you?” he hears him call out and Jihoon makes a dash for it. He can’t afford to worry about his injuries at this moment. He runs as fast as he can, but he can hear Seungcheol quickly come up behind him. Jihoon absolutely refuses to be caught by him, so he searches frantically for an escape route.

“Jihoon!”

Jihoon makes a run for it and sees a bus stop nearby. He’s lucky enough to make it and the bus starts moving as it leaves behind a panting Seungcheol. There only one place Jihoon can go to right now, only one person who knows how he feels and that’s Jisoo. Jisoo’s never really been a party person so he should be at his apartment right about now. Since he doesn’t live on campus, he has a long way to go. After Jihoon exits the bus, he has to walk a few blocks to Jisoo’s apartment. He can feel his vision get worse and his head is projecting fuzzy images. Jihoon manages to get inside the elevator and he presses the fifth button or at least what he thinks is the fifth button, he can’t really make anything out.  He never though he’d be running from Seungcheol. And he sure as hell never thought he’d seeking comfort with Jisoo, but here he is.

Thankfully he arrives at the fifth floor and he slowly makes his way to the apartment number 53 as he rings the doorbell. He waits for the door to open.

“Jihoon,” answers Jisoo worriedly.

“I-” Jihoon faints before he can complete the sentence.

Seungcheol couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Jihoon just said he loved him. Seungcheol just stayed dead in his track because he couldn’t believe this was happening. There’s something he’s never told Jihoon before and that’s that he’s in love with Jihoon. Madly in love actually, but he was too damn scared to say anything. There’s also another thing, but this is something that was painful for him to keep. Seungcheol can see the red string that connects him to Jihoon. Yes, he can see it. But this is Jihoon he’s talking about. Jihoon is extremely talented, funny, hardworking, and beautiful. Seungcheol doesn’t feel as if he deserves to be with Jihoon. He tried going out with other people. Take Jeonghan for example, but while he tried his best to feel happy, the fact that he wasn’t with Jihoon made him feel lonely. Now that Jihoon’s let this all out Seungcheol felt dumbfounded as he watched Jihoon sprint away. He couldn’t move. He waited a long time to come clean to Jihoon about how he felt, and now he’s seeing that their actions not only hurt themselves but each other he feels as if someone’s hit him with a car.

After what feels like minutes, he finally starts running to Jihoon’s dorm. He’s running up the stairs while he says Jihoon’s name, but as he knocks on the door there is no response and he can’t hear anyone in there. He hears a loud crash come from the outside and he sees that Jihoon had left through the emergency exit. Seungcheol rushes out the same way as he calls for Jihoon. He can see that there’s something wrong with the younger male because he’s stumbling and as Seungcheol looks to the ground, there’S small red droplets of blood that Seungcheol refuses to believe is Jihoon’s, but that explains why Jihoon seems dazed. He runs faster towards Jihoon but by the time he’s able to get within a few yards, Jihoon’s gone into a bus and Seungcheol can no longer catch up. He’s gone now. Seungcheol would have run after the bus, but there’s a multitude of cars and he risks the chances of getting hit before he can ever talk to Jihoon.

“!” he curses as he runs a hand through his hair. He runs back to Jihoon’s dorm to find it open and the first thing he sees is that the lights are oN. He walks into the dimly lit bathroom and to his horror there are several blades on the sink. This cannot be happening. Jihoon is in no state to be walking around alone. He hopes he finds him soon.

“Jihoon,” answers Jisoo worriedly.

“I-” Jihoon faints before he can complete the sentence. Jisoo rushes to his side and gently hoists Jihoon up bridal style. He can see the blood dripping down Jihoon’s arms and Jisoo is horrified. He’s glad he’s studying to be a medic, or else he wouldn’t know what would have become of Jihoon. He’s able to clean the wounds and treat Jihoon with what he’s learned at school. There’s nothing he can do now, so he removes Jihoon’s bloody shirt and puts one of his shirts on Jihoon which looks to big on him, but it will have to do. Jihoon’s lost quite a vast amount of blood, but he’ll survive.

He quietly leaves a sleeping Jihoon in his room and takes out his phone. He waits a few seconds before the he hears someone pick up.

“Hello?”

“Seungcheol?”

“Jisoo, look it’s not a good time I need to look for Ji-”

“He’s here with me.”

“What why would he-”

“Look it’s not the time to discuss right now. He’s here, I just wanted to call to let you know since you left with him,” he says as he starts to discuss what had happened to Jihoon.

“Are in your apartment?” Seungcheol asks.

“Yes,” replies Jisoo.

“I’m coming over.”

Jihoon wakes up but doesn’t open his eyes. He just takes his time to become fully conscious. It must be morning since there’s a bright light that is piercing though his eye lids. He feels pressure on his arm. He slowly opens his eyes and sees the sleeping figure of Seungcheol who feel asleep while holding Jihoon’s hand. Normally Jihoon would smile at the sight would it not have been for the rush of memories that rush into Jihoon’s brain. He remembers running from Seungcheol, he remembers running to Jisoo’s apartment while he arm was bleeding. Oh no, that means Seungcheol saw his scars. He doesn’t want to face Seungcheol, no, not yet. He tries to wiggle out of Seungcheol’s grasp but it only ends up in waking him.

“Hmm wha-” Seungcheol mutters in his sleep induced self. He rubs his eyes as he sees Jihoon looking at him.

“You’re awake!” he says as he pulls Jihoon into a tight hug. He can’t help but feel tears coming out of the corners of his eyes. He pulls back as he looks over Jihoon’s entire body. He just starts to notice that Jihoon is wearing one of Jisoo’s shirts and he feels a bit jealous, but he pushes those thoughts out. Right no he needs to focus on Jihoon and his injuries.

Seungcheol composes himself as he gives Jihoon a hard stare. “When?” he says and Jihoon knows that he’s referring to him cutting himself.

“When what?” he says as he tries to play dumb. 

“Jihoon, don’t do this right now. When did you start?”

Jihoon sighs as he gives up and he reveals everything. From the heart break he felt over Jeonghan being with Seungcheol, and how he started to harm himself. Seungcheol sat quietly as he listened to every word that came out of Jihoon’s mouth.

“Jihoon, there something I never told you,” says Seungcheol as he stares intently at Jihoon.

“What?”

“I can see the string,” he says as Jihoon’s eyes widen. It takes a split second before Jihoon grabs a pillow and starts to frantically beat Seungcheol with it.

“You ,” he says loudly as they hear the door open to reveal a worried Jisoo.

“Is everything o-”

“Get out,” says Jihoon as he throws a pillow to the door and Jisoo closes the door quickly. This seems like a problem for Seungcheol to handle. Jihoon goes back to attacking Seungcheol.

“You made me believe I was alone!” he yells as he throws various objects to Seungcheol who manages to duck every single one. Once Jihoon is out of objects to throw, Seungcheol gently takes a hold of Jihoon’s wrist so he could prevent any more damage from being done to Jisoo’s room and Jihoon himself.

“Let me go,” cries Jihoon, but Seungcheol keeps his hold on him.

“I’m sorry Jihoon. I’m sorry, but we’re both to blame here. We said nothing to each other and it tore us apart. I’m sorry,” says Seungcheol as he can also feel the tears roll off of his face.

Jihoon takes a shuttering breath as he can still feel the tears on his cheeks. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, they did this to each other. They’re both to blame. Jihoon takes his time to compose himself as he speaks again.

“How could we do this to each other?” he says. This could have been avoided if they just spoke to each other. There’s a silence between the two of them. Even though they were put through this situation, they can’t stop feeling love for one another.

“Maybe we should give this some time,” says Seungcheol.

Jihoon swallows the lump in his throat as he nods without saying a word.

Seungcheol looks at his own hands. “Okay,” he says as he squeezes Jihoon’s hand and leaves the room. It’ll take some time until they can start something new, but they’ll get there eventually get there.