The weeks following his resignation from the company were sheer torture. His messages seized and being at work was overwhelming. That place held many of our memories and everywhere I looked it’s seem he would be there. His constant antics were missing and so was my smile. Every time I passed by his desk I would feel a tight feeling in my chest. I missed him. Why would he not contact me like he used to. I wasn’t the same anymore and my coworkers were worried. 

My lack of interest in anything and everything was much more obvious than I had intended it to be. Soon it felt like I was getting back to normal. Work seemed to become more bearable and I felt like I was slowly adjusting to life after him. But boy was I wrong.  One night while working late I received a message. It was he. He had finally contacted me and I was ecstatic. I replied immediately and everything continued from were we left of. Everything I had built was tossed to the side. I had become an idiot. Then I came across the realization that I needed to love myself more than the pleasure he gave me. The pleasure that felt so good and so right but left me feeling dirty and sick when it was all over. I was done I needed to move forward and leave this cynical relationship we both had.

I did not want to repeat that same cycle again and again. Lets finish this… 

Oh S