These are some notes I made while beta-reading:

• Oneshot

• Written after the first beta-reading engagement

• Narrative: Omniscient, past.

• Consistent tenses

• Moderate variety in vocabulary

• Moderate variety in sentence structure

• Occasional spelling errors

• Occasional punctuation errors

I am quite pleased to note that there was marginal improvement in the use of commas and other punctuation. Also, there was close to zero verb confusion this time. However, there was still some preposition confusion in your oneshot please click here for the list of commonly used prepostions (there's a video, watch it if you have time). Again, I suggest looking at sentence examples. The phrase 'a bit' is still used too often, making your vocabulary lacking in variety. Dialogue format & paragraphing have also improved. Dialogues from different characters are now not in the same paragraph. Careful to maintain the same idea/point in the same paragraph and not needlessly separate them. It makes your story look thin and scarce. There was still some fragmented sentences. Either have well-intended meaning in them, or complete them.

That’s all! Good luck on your next story!

~Until Then