Taehyung unraveled his scarf before he entered the warm studio.

The cold still clung to his cheeks and his numb fingers, but he kind of liked the feeling. Winter reminded him that Christmas and his birthday were right around the corner. They were two very special days that Taehyung cherished the most out of the entire year.

And no, it wasn’t just for the presents.

“Manager hyung is taking me christmas shopping,” he announced. “Do you want to come with me?”

The small bundled up figure sitting at the desk, that was currently warming its hands up with a cup of coffee, turned in its seat and shook its head.

“Nope. I can’t.”

Taehyung pouted and shuffled further inside.

“But Yoongi hyung, you’ve been locked up in here all day. Did you even get any of your shopping done yet? It’s only a week left until Christmas!”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, which was kind of difficult due to the oversized scarf he was sporting.

“You said manager hyung was going with you, right? You don’t need me to tag along.”

But it would be nice if you did.

Taehyung sighed.

“Fine. I can’t have you seeing your present, anyway.”

Yoongi laughed at that, and Taehyung smiled softly to himself. He always mentally patted himself on the back for getting Yoongi to laugh. The older male was usually so indifferent to everyone else around him. The only time Taehyung truly saw Yoongi’s eyes light up was when he discussed music.

“I’m going now… oh yeah, Jin hyung said he left some dinner for you in the fridge.”

Yoongi nodded, already engrossed in the computer and clicking away.

Taehyung shook his head in exasperation and put back on his scarf. He walked out of the studio and the building, bracing himself against the cold wind that immediately slapped him in the face. Their manager was waiting in the car already, leisurely scrolling through his phone to pass the time.

Taehyung got in the car.

“Ready to go, Hyung!” he chirped, before reaching back to pull his seatbelt across his lap.

The manager put his phone away and started up the car.

“Yoongi didn’t want to come?”

Taehyung’s smile waivered, but then it returned with full force.

“No. Too busy.”

The manager frowned. He to the main road and started driving in the direction of the mall.

“That kid needs to get out more. I don’t know how his eyes survive from staring at the computer all day.”

Taehyung couldn’t agree more. It had become his mission in life to spend more time with Yoongi. He couldn’t even remember what they did the last time they hung out together, which was understandable since that was months ago.

What a lousy crush.

Taehyung shifted in his seat and nervously glanced at his manager, like he was afraid the man could read his mind.

Crush? Stop thinking like that, Taehyung.

He pinched his thighs and sat up straighter in his seat.

Every time those thoughts, those dangerous thoughts, entered his mind he pushed them out before they could fester. Before they made him turn to the nearest person and blurt out his feelings, after keeping them bottled away for so long.

He wasn’t just anyone.

He was an idol.

And idols aren't supposed to fall for one of their fellow members.

Idol’s weren’t supposed to fall for someone of the same .

Taehyung looked over at his manager again, studying the gentle angles of the man’s face. He always felt safe around the older male, and he never felt like he had to keep anything from him. Their manager constantly told them that they could always confide in him.

Maybe it would be ok… if he told him…

“Hyung--”

A blinding light approached the driver’s side of the car at top speed, making Taehyung gasp and close his eyes.

The car rocked with the impact of the hit. They were spinning out of control, and the sound of tires squealing against asphalt was loud in his ears.

Taehyung’s mind started to race through all of the important events in his life.

When his siblings were born...

When his family brought Soonshim home…

When he had to say goodbye, before leaving for Seoul…

When he met all of the members…

When Yoongi smiled at him for the first time...

When BTS finalled debuted…

He jerked to the side because of the hard blow of the other vehicle, and he heard the sickening crack of his head hitting the window beside him.

The car finally came to a screeching halt.

Taehyung could hear his manager groaning in pain beside him.

And then everything faded to black.

~*~

“That’s it… take it easy… good… you’re doing an excellent job, Taehyung-ssi.”

Taehyung slowly opened his eyes and his dry lips.

Bright lights assaulted his vision, and for a second his heart beat quickened, thinking he was reliving the car accident again.

The man, in the white lab coat in front of him, glanced at the heart monitor beside the bed and returned his gentle gaze to Taehyung.

“Easy there. You’re safe. The accident is over.”

Taehyung rapidly blinked his eyes and tried to slow down his breathing. He rubbed his fingers against the soft cloth beneath him and soon realized he was laying on a bed. He looked up and took in his surroundings.

He was in a hospital.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to sit up, but his neck hurt when he put too much strain on it, and there was a tight feeling encasing his head.

“Save your energy,” the doctor said, gently placing a hand on the boy’s arm. “It seems you hit your head pretty hard against the car window. It’s a good thing you were wearing a seatbelt.”

Taehyung felt disoriented.

He knew he was in a hospital and he knew a doctor was talking to him. He knew that he had been in some sort of accident, but whenever he tried to think about anything else a very sharp pain would stab at his mind and make him wince.

Also the doctor’s voice was making him nauseous. It kept going in and out, like static on a radio, and sometimes it would even sound like they were having a conversation underwater.

“Taehyung-ssi… can you hear me?” the doctor asked, noticing Taehyung’s puzzled expression.

Taehyung tried to nod, but whenever he moved it felt like someone was stabbing his neck with a fork.

“It’s ok. You don’t have to nod. Blink once for yes, and twice for no, ok? And try talking if you can, but don’t strain yourself. Do you understand?”

Taehyung blinked once.

“Good. Very good.”

The doctor started to do general tests on him. He checked his ears, eyes and mouth. He took his blood pressure and listened to his heart through a stethoscope.

The whole time Taehyung kept feeling like someone was missing from the room… like multiple people were missing from the room…

“Ok Taehyung-ssi, now we’re going to check your memory.”

“My… M-My mem..ory?” Taehyung croaked out, speaking for the first time.

The doctor smiled at the fact that he was talking now, and nodded.

“Yes, your memory. You’ve experienced a very traumatic head injury, so we need to make sure all of your memories are intact. Cases of amnesia are common in these types of situations.”

Taehyung clenched his fists and readied himself for the first question. The thought of having amnesia terrified him.

“When is your birthday?”

That question wasn’t too hard. The answer came to him immediately.

“December 30th… 1995.”

“Good job,” the doctor praised. He stared down at his clipboard and checked off something.

“Do you have any siblings?”

This question took a little longer to think about.

“Y-Yes? A… little brother and a little sister?”

The doctor smiled with a nod. “Correct. You’re doing a good job so far, Taehyung-ssi.”

Taehyung managed a smile of his own.

“Any pets?”

“A dog. Her name is Soonshim.”

“Family name?”

“Kim.”

“Blood type?”

“AB.”

“Hometown?”

“Daegu.”

“Where are we right now, Taehyung-ssi?”

Taehyung frowned. “A… a hospital?”

The doctor chuckled softly at that and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t phrase the question properly. I mean, what city are we in right now?”

Taehyung felt that pounding ache return. He shakily raised a hand to clutch his head, and was surprised to feel bandages there.

“For some reason… I keep thinking of Seoul,” he blurted.

The doctor nodded in encouragement. “Yes, Taehyung-ssi. We are currently in Seoul.”

Taehyung’s frown deepened. “But… why?”

A concerned expression passed over the doctor’s face. “You don’t remember?”

“I--”

“Sorry to interrupt.”

The both of them turned towards the door to see a nurse standing there.

“The other members are here, and they’re demanding to see the patient,” she announced.

Taehyung stared at her, mouth slightly agape.

Other… members?

What did she mean by that?

“Let them in,” the doctor said with a sigh. “It will probably help jog his memory.”

The nurse nodded before leaving the room. Taehyung was barely able to register why he might need his memory to be jogged, when six individuals entered the room. They all looked shocked and scared.

A few of them even looked like they’d been crying.

“Taehyung-ssi…” the doctor began slowly. “Do you remember Bangtan Sonyeondan?”

Taehyung stared at each and every face.

A light bulb went off in his head.

“My group!” he exclaimed, still sounding somewhat hoarse. “I’m an idol!”

Several sighs of relief could be heard through the room.

The doctor patted him on his hand. “Yes, that’s correct. You’ve lived with these boys for a few years now. That’s why you’re in Seoul.”

“R-right!”

Taehyung glanced at the teary eyed boys in front of him. He now understood why the room had felt wrong earlier. It was because they weren’t in it.

“Now, Taehyung-ssi, I want you to go down the line and tell me the name of each person. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes,” Taehyung answered without hesitation.

He started with the boy who had a long face.

“Hoseok… hyung?”

Hoseok exhaled and rubbed at his puffy eyes with a smile.

“I’m so glad you’re ok, Taehyung-ah.”

Taehyung smiled back at him. He quickly moved on to the next person. Staring at Hoseok for too long made him feel like he was going to cry too.

“Jiminie,” he called confidently.

The orange haired male gave him a thumbs up, and turned his head away when fresh tears welled up in his eyes.

Taehyung looked to the person with pink hair.

“Rapmon… hyung…”

“Namjoon hyung is fine,” the male said. His voice was deep and soothing.

Taehyung instantly remembered it.

“Joonie hyung,” he sniffled. He felt a sudden burden on his shoulders. He had caused more stress to their leader.

Namjoon smiled. “Everything is going to be ok, Taehyung-ah.”

And because Taehyung was hearing those words from him, he believed them.

His eyes jumped to the next person.

“Jungkookie… sorry for making you worry over me.”

Jungkook quickly shook his head and wiped at the tear that snuck out.

“Jin hyung…” Taehyung announced, easily recognizing the next person. “I’m hungry.”

Everyone managed a small laugh at that, their faces brightening despite the gloomy atmosphere.

“I’ll make your favorite when we get home,” Jin said with a smile, his handsome features glowing.

Taehyung’s gaze lowered to the shorter male beside Jin. He took in his pale complexion and bright green hair. He studied his dark eyes and the way he shuffled from one foot to the other, with his hands clasped behind his back.

Taehyung didn’t know this person.

“I’m sorry, I…”

The room grew stiff with silence. The doctor nervously glanced between the group of boys and Taehyung.

“Taehyung-ssi… do you remember who the last person is?”

Taehyung felt short of breath. He glanced at the other familiar faces and looked back at the shorter male, but his mind wouldn’t cooperate. He was drawing a huge blank, and it scared him. He could tell he was hurting this person by not saying anything, it was written all over their face, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember.

“Don’t strain too much,” the doctor gently consoled him. “Answering this might help. Including yourself, how many members does BTS have?”

Taehyung stared down at his fingers.

He looked up.

“Six…?”

The one with the green hair walked out, slamming the door behind him.

“Yoongi hyung! Wait!” Jimin called after him. He broke away from the group and went to go chase after the older male.

Taehyung stared at the door with a sinking feeling in his chest.

So his name is… Yoongi?

“It seems that Taehyung-ssi has developed a mild case of amnesia,” the doctor announced, while scribbling something down on his clipboard.

“But how?” Namjoon spoke up. “Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to forget Jiminie? Since he was the last person to join the group? Why Yoongi hyung?”

The doctor took off his glasses and sighed. “There are many possibilities. It could be that his emotional connection with Yoongi-ssi wasn’t as strong, therefore causing him to forget only him. Another possibility could be that Taehyung is subconsciously forcing himself not to remember.”

Jin’s brows furrowed at that. “Why wouldn’t he want to remember?”

The doctor shook his head. “We couldn’t possibly know the answer to that, unless Taehyung-ssi were to regain his memories and tell us. But what we can do for now is get an MRI done. Make sure there is no further damage to his brain.”

“Manager hyung!” Taehyung suddenly yelled, causing everyone to flinch. “I was in the car with manager hyung!”

“And he’s ok,” the doctor assured him. “He received many injuries of his own, but surprisingly enough, he woke up before you. I think it might be due to the fact that his airbag went off while yours did not. We did all of the tests on him already, and all of his memories are intact.”

Taehyung’s heart returned to its normal pace.

“I’m glad.”

“When can we take him home?”

The doctor looked up at Hoseok.

“We’ll need to keep him here for a couple more days, just to monitor things and make sure he doesn’t go into shock. But i’m sure he’ll be home before Christmas.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Namjoon said sincerely.

As soon as the man left the room, the members crowded around Taehyung’s bed. They talked of how worried and scared they were. They wanted to hug him so badly, but his ribs were bruised, so they just settled for softly taking his hands and rubbing soothing circles into his palms.

They all tried to tell him random facts about Yoongi, hoping it would help him remember, but everything just left Taehyung feeling even more confused.

“He’ll remember when he’s ready,” Jin said.

And no one mentioned Yoongi again.

After a few hours, visiting time was over and they had to go back to the dorm. Taehyung told them goodbye with a heavy heart, not really feeling that excited about spending a night in a hospital by himself, and accepted the tablet Jungkook handed to him.

“Watch some of our videos on Youtube,” he suggested. “Maybe it will help you remember.”

Taehyung thanked him and waved as the members slowly trickled out of the room.

That night he watched all of their live performances, starting with when they first debuted. He could clearly see Yoongi standing amongst them, dancing and rapping all of his parts, but his face continued to evade Taehyung’s memories.

He remembered all of these performances, but he didn’t remember Yoongi being there.

Maybe I should sleep, he thought to himself.

Turning off the tablet, Taehyung carefully lowered his head to his pillow, and tried to ignore the headache that still pulsated in his skull.

Yoongi… who are you to me?

That was the last thing he thought, before falling into a deep sleep.