"Thinking it could be different,

But maybe we missed it. yeah.

Thinking it could be different

It could, it could."

The song started and I opened my eyes, the spotlight on me and I concentrated on just looking at a certain spot on the wall at the back of the restaurant/pub. "Walking 'round with my head down, but I can't hide with these high heels on..." my english pronunciation got back to been the one I was used to. I remember Siwon saying how much he loved whenever I sang in english to him. He said my voice sounded so sweet yet so strong and because I remember those words exactly, that's the reason why I chose this song since the singer had a sweet voice, yet it was a strong one. Plus, of course; the song just seemed to fit us. I really couldn't see Siwon's face since everything was dark.

I just forgot that everyone was there watching...that he was there. I just 'sang my heart out', just like the dj adviced before. And slowly, little by little; I grew more confident, especially now since I was about to sing the chorus and that part, for me; was the breaking point.

"It should've been us,

Shoulda been a fire, shoulda been the perfect storm.

It should've been us,

Coulda been the real thing, now we'll never know for sure, ohh.

We were crazy, but amazing. Baby, we both know!

It should've been us, us.

It, it, it should've been us.'"

I don't know how I should feel right now or what exactly was gonna happen after I was done with the song. I was now getting a little nervous again once my mind thought about it. How will Siwon react? What was he going to do? How will I react to him? What was I going to tell him? What will he tell me? I was so scared...yet eager...so eager to finally have my one on one talk with him. Have him face to face.  The song was about to end and I kept singing. I already saw the people cheering for me, I could see a bit of my best friend's face; grinning at me as she clapped to the rhythm of the song. The song ended and the people stood up from their seats and cheered some more, clapping with enthusiasm. I smiled at them as the spotlight was turned off and the lights were turned back on. 

There.

I could see him....

....staring right back at me.

Smiling and clapping...

...his eyes never leaving mine...as if to him this was like a miracle, a dream...

...or a figment of his imagination.

Seeing me here, right in front of him. I wouldn't blame him since 30 minutes ago, I was feeling exactly the same way. I bowed respectfully and thanked the audience as I put the mic back to its place and left the stage. I saw him hesitating, he wanted to come to me but he also knew that he was with his friend. "Oh my gosh! Crickey! You seriously have the nicest voice I've ever heard! Very well done, lassey!" a man in his forties beamed at me. I laughed and said "thank you" as I went back to my table and sat next to my best friend.

"Jesus, girl! That was so awesome! You were amazing! Seriously! I've never seen you sing like that! You really sang from the heart! You left all your feelings there on stage. You were seriously born to do this. I don't know why they didn't pick you or why you didn't keep trying."

"Cause I know what it would take to be at the top. What I would have to sacrifice..." I looked back at Siwon and he was still staring at me. I instantly blushed as our eyes met yet again. His stare had also changed .

Was it all that clear?

Was it so obvious that we still had a thing for each other? 

"Your food is here! By the way, nice performance! You sang very well out there!" the waiter complimented me as he left our plates on the table and I thanked him. I silently took my cutlery and began cutting down my steak, my best friend still looking at me.

"So..."

"So?" I slowly chewed while looking at her.

"Are you going to go talk to him?"

"What?! No! I already told you, I'm not ready--"

"Well, ready or not...prepare yourself 'cause here he comes!" my best friend cut me off as soon as she saw Siwon saying goodbye to his friend and walking to our table. I was freaking out but I just lowered my head and concentrated on chewing my food correctly. 

"Hey girls! How are you?!" he greeted us.

"Siwon! Oh my God! It's been so long! We are fine, how are you?" my best friend greeted him cheerfully...maybe too cheerfully 'cause it made him laugh. 

That sound.

I have missed it.

"I am doing great, thanks for asking!" 

"Well, what are you waiting for?! Sit down, sit down!" I sharply lifted my head and my eyes gave her alarming looks, ones which she decided to ignore and I saw Siwon hesitating to sit, but eventually he did. "Thank you...I don't want to cause you any troubles. I just wanted to say hi to you two. That's all..." Suddenly, I felt like the worst person ever. "You're not causing us any trouble and you are not been a bother, right?" Jina looked at me. I mumbled a "yes" and continued eating.

"So? How have you been? Oh! What the heck! I mean I know what you've been doing. Anybody that follows you knows and you know how much of a fan I am of you!" she kept making conversation to not make Siwon uncomfortable or unwelcomed. "Ah yes! Yes, you always said that if I  became famous, you would follow me to the edge of the world. Thank you, for keeping that promise..." Siwon smiled sincerely and bowed kindly. "Pff, bah! That's what friends are for. That is, if you still consider me one."

"Of course I do!"

"You better!" Siwon laughed again. "So, what are you guys doing here in London? What you've been up to?"

"Well, right now; I have been studying graphic designing for a while and I've traveled to London for a while, like this is my seventh time coming here and now I've decided to stay here permanently since they offered me a job at an advertising agency."

"That's nice! Wow! So you're living in London now? Is that why she came to visit you?" he pointed at me.

"Well, I haven't move yet. I still have five more months to start work here. Plus, I need to be in Korea for her big day since she'll be getting married in 3 months." Since she was talking so fast and trying to keep the conversation, my best friend didn't realized what she had just say until it was too late. "Married? Are you...getting married?" Siwon turned to look at me. I have to stop what I was doing, heck! I've stopped chewing the moment my best friend blurted out the word "married". I slowly looked up to see his face...he was trying so hard to keep his face composed, but I knew him too well...that piece of information left him upset...hopeless.

He was probably thinking that I have forgotten him, that I was completely over him...unlike him. I slowly nodded, not wanting to make any sound, afraid what would come out of my mouth. I knew myself too well to know I would blabber something incoherent if I talk. "Congratulations!" he smiled kindly at me...his smile did reached his eyes but then again, he was such a great actor. "Thanks..." it was all I could say. Since my best friend know she has messed up and now the awkward atmosphere invaded our space, she tried once again.

"So, how's Bugsy?! I love that dog!" she started quickly. "Haha, I think everybody loves my dog. He is doing fine. Growing every minute."

"Aww, that's nice to hear! I remember when I first held him, I just knew that he was meant to have you as his owner. His personality looked so much like yours."

"Yes, he kinda looks like me in personality...wait...did you just said 'held him'? When did you first held him?" There was a minute of silence that felt like an hour to me. "Oh! I-I well, I ...have to confess. I sort of...kept contact with your sister..."

"...Oh, really? She never mentioned that to me." I was saved by the quick thinking of Jina. Now, I'll have to call Jiwon and tell her that story in case Siwon asks her. Great. Jina should stop talking now...

"Ah, yes...well, that was because I asked her not to do it. You know, in case that affected you and..."

Okay. She really needs to stop talking.

"...I didn't know if yo