I’m currently taking a shower to wash away my worries. I tell myself the same things over and over again in order to calm down. Well… it does not work.

 *knockknockknock*

“Jimin??” I can hear J-Hopes voice from outside the bathroom. “Jimin are you okay? Are you in there?” He opens the door without giving me a chance to answer.

“NO! WAIT!” I shout but it’s too late. There he is staring straight at my d___. I stare back at him in shock and he doesn’t even stop staring for more than 5 seconds!

Finally I manage to cover up the most important part of my body.

“Sorry, sorry” He says while finally turning around. “I just wanted to tell you that we’re going to eat dinner now…”

“Oh…O-o-okay. I’ll be there in five minutes.” J-Hope leaves.

“If you need help just tell me.”

“I’m fine, thank you.”  With these words the door closes.

What the heck did just happen?

I don’t feel like dressing up today. I just put on a white shirt and some swim boxers. I don’t feel like impressing anyone anymore. As I walk down the halls of the hotel towards the elevator the thoughts from earlier pop into my head again. Should I talk to Jungkook about what happened? How should I behave should I even talk to him? What about J-Hope?  I step into the empty elevator and grab my hair.  Why don’t all these thoughts ever stop?!

The first thing I noticed when I arrived was that V was staring at me with his “seductive smirk” as if he waited for me to arrive.

“Where is Jungkook?” I ask while looking around, ignoring V and hoping to see him somewhere.

“He’s not here.” Suga says with a full mouth of food.

“Oh” I say sitting down. I don’t ask any more questions because I’m afraid that if I do the other members might find out or make stupid comments.  After a few minutes not eating anything I finally ask where Jungkook is.

“Really?! He’s still there?”

“Yeah, he said he wasn’t hungry.” RapMon Hyung says.

I stand up to look for him. As I leave I can see J-Hope looking at V with a death glare. But I leave. I got more important stuff to do.

I arrive at the pool out of breath from running all the way.

There he is leaning onto the poolside with his arm crossed.

“Jungkook!” he turns his head around.

“Oh, it’s you.” I am not quite sure if he smiles it’s too dark.

“Is it okay if I join you?”

“Of course” Jungkook now turns around his whole body. The lights on the pool floor show his expression. I can clearly see him smiling now, what gives me a little of a confidence boost. Luckily I’m wearing my swimming pants. As I walk around the pool to the other side Jungkook’s eyes follow me. I take of my T-Shirt and go into the pool. Meanwhile Jungkook leans on the poolside again. So do I.

“Why didn’t you eat?” I ask to avoid any kind of awkward silence. Jungkook and I never had anything like that but I think that a lot will change after the action earlier and I don’t even wanna take a chance on it.

“I did. Manager gave me some slices of mango.” He smiles.

“That’s not enough, my dear.” I nudge him with my shoulder.

“By the way…” he hesitated for a second “..uhmm… did you enjoy kissing V? It looked like you enjoyed it. Both of you” He chuckles to himself.

“Don’t even get me started on that.” I am relieved. It doesn’t seem to bother him.

“But you did plan it, right? I mean you don’t casually start kissing someone under water.” He is right. That would have been stupid. To not seem like a complete I answer:

“You’re right, it was plan.” And without thinking I added “well, I didn’t plan making out with V…” My eyes widen as I realize what I just said. I look down to my hand to have something I can stare at for not having to look at him. Please don’t ask that question. Please don’t ask that que-

“Really?! Who did you plan on kissing then?” oh there we go… I don’t answer. ”why don’t you look at me?”

“What?”

“You always look me in the eyes when we talk to each other. Why don’t you do so now?” I don’t say anything at all. I can’t. I said too much already. Jungkook noticed there was some kind of tension.

“Sooo…what was it that you were bothered about..?” And he doesn’t make it better.

I stare at his lips, but only for 2 seconds Don’t even think about it and I quickly turn around again to stare at my hand again. I can’t confess to him now. I have to hold myself back – even if this is the perfect moment.

“Did I do something wrong?”  what?! Why would he think he did something wrong?! … okay dating that Vhole is a mista-  are they even dating?

“OMG, no! You didn’t ever do anything wrong!” he looks at me in shock. I think I shouted. ”Sorry…….. Well, the only thing you did do wrong is dating Taehyung.” My heart is beating like crazy it feels as if the water around me was vibrating from the feeling of regret. Why did I say this?!   

Jungkook on the other hand decides to break out in loud laughter.

“What?” I awkwardly join him laughing.

“It is just- haha. It is just so cute of you to think we’re dat- V is hella annoying.”     

 This kind of reaction is the best kind I could have imagined. His laugh relaxes me so much that I instantly look him the eyes again.

“But to be honest he asked me if I wanted to be his f**kboy once. He’s so desperate it’s amazing. Maybe you’re his f**kboy now haha. But don’t try to distract from the actual question! Who were you planning to kiss?”

And my hand catches my attention again. The short moment of relieve is gone. To be honest it’s far worse now. The water starts vibrating again.

“Oh no, is it Hobi Hyung?” he put his hand on my shoulder in order to comfort me but it does the exact opposite. Because I know if I were to confess right now I would never have him touch me like this. He wouldn’t even look at me.

“Hell no! I like Hobi Hyung but not like that. He actually wasn’t even in the pool. My plan would have failed even more.”

“Oh yeah sorry, I’m stupid…”

“No, you’re definitely NOT! What are you even talking about?!” he begins to give more thought. I can tell because he always bites his lower lip intensively every time he does it. Jungkook biting his lower lip is actually not very good for my heart right now.

“Is it Jin Hyung? You were diving towards him.”

“Okay, now I doubt you not being stupid.. Jin…really? I am not that gay.”

“I don’t know. I really have no idea.”

 I can feel my brain slowly stop working. No, no not now not n- and it’s too late. I can feel him expectantly staring at me.

“Please tell me. You know, I told you 1000 times and I mean it, you can always come to me, even it if it was m-“

“It is you.” I say, closing my eyes.

“What?”

“It was you.” I repeat myself turning towards him to look him in the eyes. “It is you, Jeon Jungkook, who I was planning to kiss. But V got in my way again.”

As I don’t get any kind of different response than that I expect Jungkook to silently leave in shock. I don’t want to see him walking away so I lower my head.

“Why don’t you do it now then?” He makes a step closer.

My head automatically turns in his direction again. I am lost in his star-like eyes right away. This is a dream right? ... Our faces are only a few centimeters apart from each other. I must be dreaming.

“Well” I say like I’m in a daze “I don’t know”

The tension, that starts building up between us slowly pulls us together just like a magnet. Jungkook is so close now I can feel his breath on my lips. I hesitate for a second but suddenly, a burst of confidence rushes through my body. It’s like my heart pushes me towards him, closing the last space between our lips. Not rough like with V though. I do it in a more tender way. Maybe it’s also because I am too amazed at how good this feels. He even kisses back. So this is what it really feels like kissing someone you love. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach becomes too much to handle. Well, the butterflies are all going into my lower body that’s why I immediately break away out trying to catch my breath from overtaxing. If I don’t stop now I know it will be hard to hold myself back.

“That’s it?!” Jungkook exclaims genuinely annoyed. There’s the adrenaline coming again this time with anger at myself what makes it almost impossible for me to hold back. “You almost ate up Taehyung but you-“I cut him off by grabbing the hair at the back of his head, crashing our lips together. I start to move my lips at his as soon as they meet. Roughly. I don’t even care.

This time I won’t hold back.

 He wants it that way, he gets it that way. Only soon after, Jungkook starts going with the flow, following my rhythm. My hands travel down his back, grabbing him by his hips, pulling him closer in order to intensify the kiss. At the same time he starts grinding to the rhythym of our kisses. As he does that it gets hard to control my face. I get loose of my tongue. It naturally enters his mouth and he doesn’t even hesitate to follow yet again. All the tension that built up in me all those years now seems to finally relieve. All those ways I want to touch him I’ll now do so now. My hands travel even lower to latch onto his b___, squeezing it at times, whenever I feel like he needs a little boost of confidence. Meanwhile I can feel Jungkook cupping my face with both of his hands, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs, drawing my face closer.

I think I’m gonna suffocate if I don’t let out any moans. But what if Jungkook thinks- Right in that moment Jungkook lets out quite a loud moan, which takes almost all my restraint. I smile into the kiss and take the chance to nibble on his lower lip. After a few times, I start biting it. I want to hear more of them. The fact that I can finally hear them makes me wanting to do this forever, but I know I should stop. I don’t want to get too serious the first time making out with him. Even if I wouldn’t mind…

I break the kiss with on his lower lip for the last time, staring into his eyes. Jungkook also opens his, looking back at mine. He’s smiling.

I am so happy right now.