Today is the day. The day I want to gather all my courage. The day I want to show Jungkook my true feelings. Surprisingly I’m not too exited or scared to do so. I am actually quite relaxed. Maybe it is because of the pills that Hobi Hyung gave me earlier...

I planned on actualizing the plan right after the shooting. We all promised each other to relax at the pool after the shooting, so I figured that would be the perfect moment.

*click**click*

“Good! Good! Jin. Perfect!” *click**click* Jin is doing his shooting at the moment. He is going last, what means that it’s about time… I can already feel the excitement and also some fear bubbling up in my body and it does not feel good at all. I get up from my lounger and walk up to Hoseok Hyung. I am ready to tell him that I can’t do it.

“Are you kidding me?!” he says just a little too loud, so that all the people around us turn around. When they turn away again he grabs my shoulders and shakes me.

“What the hell are you scared of?! I gave you my pills… THEY ALWAYS WORK! How big must your fear be?” he sighs, releasing his grip. Meanwhile, I look down in shame.

“Everything will be fine. Just try and see how it works out” he smiles again. J-Hope turns me around by my shoulders so that I face the pool. He isn’t the happy virus for no reason. “Take a deep breath and just go for it. I believe in you.” That’s what we love him for.

The shoot is over.  The staff packs their equipment and leaves.

I can see Jungkook putting on his swimming googles. THAT MEANS HE’S ‘BOUT TO SWIM! I jump into the pool with a plunge to look extra good in case he sees me.

I am very good at holding my breath, so it is no big problem for me to dive towards him in one go. Here I am. There is almost no step back. I’m gonna show him now. All the adrenaline gives me some kind of rush that I never even had on stage. I open my eyes to look for him. There he is. Perfect. I swim even faster to finally touch him the way I wanted for years. I reach out for his face with my right hand to give me the last push with my left to finally close the last distance between us. There is some air releasing while our lips smash together. Right when they do I could feel his moving onto mine too. I am so happy right now. But now there are those questions popping to my head again: Does he really like me like that? Did J-Hope tell him to dive towards me? I can’t hold my breath anymore. I push myself from the ground out of the water so I can catch some air. He does the same. Now that we caught our breaths again we continue kissing. I am actually surprised at Jungkook right now. I have never expected him to react this way. But I don’t care. His hands hold on tight to my waist now. I didn’t know his lips were that plumped. Jungkook also proudly told me he hadn’t eaten anything today for the shooting. Why do his lips taste like Japchae then? His hands are running up and down my whole exposed upper body plus he pulls me closer while deepening the kiss with every second. I also don’t remember his embrace feeling like this. Something must be off… Just when he starts biting my lower lip I open my eyes, break the kiss and see no other than

KIM
F***ING
TAEHYUNG

That &%*# is smirking at me. Even when he sees my clearly hurt and confused face that should actually show him that I did NOT plan to kiss HIM.

“Just tell me whenever you’re in need of me again” He bites his lower lip and leaves. I look over to Jungkook. He is just as shocked at me. The others on the other hand are not even bothered. Maybe they already knew that I’m interested in boys. Was I really this obvious?! Jungkook probably didn’t know. OMFG WHAT IF THEY’RE REALLY DATING?! HOW CAN I HURT HIM LIKE THIS KISSING HIS BOYFRIEND?! I am too embarrassed all I think about now is to leave.