Lyrics used: 1 and 2

OST: 1, 2, 3

Taehyun’s pov

Your cold eyes and words are the spoiler

In your every action, I see our end

I tell myself it’s not true but I feel the spoiler

Should I watch till the end? Or should I leave now?

What if there’s a twist?

On a sunny afternoon they found themselves resting together on Mino’s hospital bed. Taehyun tangled his legs with Mino putting his stump leg on top of Taehyun's healthy one. Hands behind their heads, peacefully breathing and comforting themselves with the other's presence. He treasured those moments the most - when he could endlessly stare into his pair of dark eyes. Stealing a sip of eternity – he used to think while Mino's cheeks gently.

“Ask me again." He finally broke the silence that had enveloped them, his hand never stopping caressing his cheek. He wanted him to feel treasured.

“Ask me what you always wanted know. Please ask me what you wanted to ask me that day.”

Mino closed his eyes and took in a deep breathe. It was not easy for him to go back to that summer three years ago, but it was 1000 times harder for Taehyun. All his inner instincts were screaming to just stop, to not say anything more, to run, like he always does. He shushed them all. It was now or never. He somehow knew it and chose now.

Mino's finally opened his eyes and fear seemed to be the only thing written in them.

“They are scared, because I made them to be” Taehyun thought feeling daggers in his heart. He made them look uncertain and hurt. Oh, irony of this world. He spent his entire life making people hate him and he didn’t care at all, but this particular pair of dark eyes made him hate himself so much, it scared him to death.

“Have you ever loved me?” Mino asked slowly. Even when he was scared, he was also extremely brave and love was the center of everything in him, the concept that Mino's entire life is revolved around.

“Stupid.”  Mockery was all over Taehyun’s voice. Well he was a true diva after all and it was only fitting that he played his role well. However, he saw Mino’s face immediately fall at the somewhat mean remark.

“Stupid. I was stupid. “ Taehyun quickly explained. “I was too stupid to realize on time I fell for you. For most of my existence, I thought my heart was broken and nothing can fix it. But you somehow made it start working again."

He squeezed Mino’s hand that was always resting on the bandages where his leg was supposed to be. A leg that has gone missing along with a number of other things.

“I loved you." He whispered faintly, feeling his face burning. He wasn’t the cheesy type.

He would puke on himself in normal conditions but nothing was normal in this given moment and he wasn’t thinking straight. “I love you." He repeated, a renewed certainty in his voice. “I love you and I don’t know how to stop.”

He stared at Mino. He was truly a helpless case. “Tell me how you managed to stop it. How did you manage to stop loving me?” Now even his lips were quivering. I'm so pathetic.

“I never said I stopped.” Mino said slowly. He reached out his hand and gently caressed Taehyun's cheeks.

When did he even start crying?

He didn’t know and honestly he wasn’t bothered by it. Not when those warm hands were touching him, not when those eyes were looking only at him.

I tried to pretend otherwise but I already know

This damn feeling that suffocates my breath more and more

Maybe I trapped you inside my useless fantasy

Maybe you tried out a role for me that didn’t really fit

“How long have you been cheating on me? “ Mino asked. His calm voice was far worse than screams. It was already late night and they were standing on the empty street, only street lights playing with their shadows.

“Does it matter?" Taehyun crossed his arms. He was disappointed. Mino by far was his favorite distraction. 

Distraction, that was all or that was what he was trying to convince himself. It was time to end it. They were together for four months and it had been longer than he expected.

However, it was time to part ways cause Mino was making a difference, because Mino was different than others. He easily loved and was easy to love.

That was scaring Taehyun so much. Losing him was a ticket to stay the same and to not love and risk being hurt.

“Does our relationship even matter to you?” Now Mino’s voice was even deeper than usual. Rough and cold.

His face was dark and his eyebrows furrowed. He shoved hands in the pocket of his black jeans. He was so hot when he was pissed – Taehyun noted to himself.

This will be the view that will warm Taehyun's future cold nights.

“Sure, we had lot of fun.” At least that was true.

“Fun?! You’re kidding, right?”

There it goes. Mino finally exploded. He pushed Taehyun and pinned him on the nearest wall.

“What do you expect me to say?” He asked coldly. He was not the person to be pushed around even though he liked those strong arms blocking him on both sides.

“ing sorry would do.”

“But we both know I’m not.” It’s not that he wasn’t. It’s just that he was not sorry enough and he didn’t like to be ordered around.

Obviously taken aback by his last statement, Mino stepped away.

“I’m ing losing my mind.” He growled. He shook his head, pacing back and forth. He was struggling with himself obviously.

“I ing want to kill you." He confessed, his hands forming into fists.

“Stop overreacting.” Taehyun couldn’t stop himself from adding the last straw. He was playing the card like he always did in break up situations. It was easier for him. Feelings were really not invited in his life.

“I ing love you!” Mino shouted in his face. That didn't surprised him more than his own reaction to this declaration. Normally, he would just laugh at it and say "Who wouldn’t”, turned away and never looked back.

But somehow he couldn’t say a word. He was stunned by the power of Mino’s confession and even more from the sincere look in his eyes. He meant it. He really meant it and Taehyun suddenly became afraid. His heart was beating so fast. Maybe Mino is an exception.

“ I love you so much I’m losing myself.” Mino continued, not aware of Taehyun’s inner struggle. "I love you so much I’m starting to hate myself for doing so. I love you that’s why if you say it back now, I’m going to forget all the you did. We could start again. If you say it.”

They were staring for so long into each other’s eyes, Taehyun wanted to disappear.

For the first time in his life he didn’t know what to do.  It was a mess. Everything was a mess. He wanted to run away but he was standing still, enchanted by those eyes that were slowly drifting away from him. Finally, there was nothing in them. Only an indecipherable glint.

“But you won’t say it and I no longer believe it’s all worth it.” Mino shook his head in disappointment and lit up a cigarette. He spared Taehyun one last look, turned away and disappeared in the darkness of the city streets.

It took Taehyun few more minutes to understand what happened.

He cursed.

For 's sake, was he dumped just now? Nam Taehyun full of pride, the master of break ups was dumped by that sunny boy? Ridiculous.

He wanted to laugh, but soon he realized he didn’t care about his pride that much. He came back to the starting point. Life without Mino. That was all he wanted, right? That’s why he even slept few times with that guy whose name he couldn’t even remember. He was alone again. Perfect.

Tears were slowly streaming down his cheek like a river making its way on his skin. No one’s going to take him out at every possible hour, no one’s going to shower him with kisses even when they parted for few minutes, no one ‘s going to smile only by seeing his face in the morning. Perfect.

But somewhere in his chest he felt the pain. His heart? Impossible. He doesn’t have one. Or does he? If he has, now it truly felt broken.

I can’t turn off the projector of imagination

When I black out, that’s when I can at least breathe

Just cut me out or kill me out

I don’t care about a happy ending

Don’t let me fade out

After a year and half they met again as trainees. Mino joined the team A as the last one. They acted like a strangers in front of others, like they never knew each other, like they never made love, like he never broke Mino’s heart. Taehyun was uncertain of how to act around Mino – should he apologize? But what’s the point now?

Too much time had passed and Mino was acting like he wasn’t really holding a grudge against him. He lost more weight, manned up. He became so much cooler and his voice got deeper. But still with those chubby cheeks and dumb behaviors, he was still the same Mino.

He liked how warm his world was becoming again with his presence in his life again. Even when they were not really speaking to each other or when he was tearing his gaze away from Taehyun. He was fighting inside if he should start the conversation about the past, but always stopped right before he does, too afraid of how it will affect the team.

Or maybe he was too scared to face his own feelings. For now, it was better to keep them all hidden under the rug.

 It was on one of those nights when they were working on another song for the battle as Team A. Then the explosion happened, Taehyun’s explosion. So he came up on the roof after storming out of  the studio.

“What’s your problem?” He heard a familiar deep voice call out. Well Mino for knowing him so well and finding him so quickly.

“My problem?” He asked coldly. All he wanted right now was anything but Mino’s scolding. Seungyoon was going to take care of his as soon as he return. He didn’t need more nagging than necessary.

“Your behavior is ruining our teamwork.”

Well, thank you captain obvious, Taehyun remarked in his mind.

“You know nothing about our teamwork.”

“Is that what this is about? You’re mad I joined you?”

He was feeling the chilling wind on his skin. The sky above them was dotted with stars and there was Mino standing in front of him, trying to read his mind, trying to solve everything.

“It’s not about you.” He tried to sound angry but his resolve was gone. He never wanted to hurt Mino, but his words as always, turned out to be hurtful and merciless. “All I want is to make a good performance and with this song, I sound like .”

“No, you don’t. You always sing well.” He placed a hand on Taehyun's shoulder. Mino wanted to make sure Taehyun will believe him.

“You mean it?” Taehyun replied, searching his eyes for an answer.

“I heard it.” Now there was such a big, proud smile on Mino’s lips and Taehyun found it hard to not smile back at him.

“It’s not our best.” Taehyun tried to recover looking away from Mino’s face. He was so not immuned to Mino’s effect.

“I know.” Mino agreed and stepped towards the barrier. He looked above at the stars that decorated the night sky and Taehyun couldn’t take his eyes off him.

“We can do better.” He stated, resting his back on the barrier next to Mino.

“We have no time.”

“This .” Taehyun summed it up.

“Big time.”

Mino sighed. Just like Taehyun, he was tired and frustrated and scared. But somehow when they were standing there together, it wasn’t so unbearable. As if all the stress was left behind and the world was slowing down for them.

“It’s like old times. We used to quarrel a lot.” Taehyun mused.

Being so close to Mino after all this time, speaking openly about what's on each other’s minds, it felt as if it was only yesterday when he sneaked into Mino’s room at midnight.

“Most of the time.” Mino agreed with hazy eyes. Maybe he too was still trapped in those nights. 

“Even on your first time, you had no idea where to put it.” Taehyun tried to lighten the mood causing Mino’s cheeks to go red.

“Yeah, I was such a flop back then. I couldn’t believe you actually stayed after that.” He said, throwing glances at him. Those were the sparks he was missing.

“No idea why I did but you were cute. And after some training, we had a really good time.”

“Yeah, we had.” He agreed with a smug look on his face. “Honestly speaking I was hesitant to join this team considering our past and to meet you again. I was afraid we won’t be able to get along but now I think we can try to get along, a fresh start.”

So typical of him, to ruin all the fun with a serious mood.

“Just don’t ask me to be friends. I’m way too old and cynical for that .” Taehyun said , considering that was the last thing he wanted from Mino.

He thought he has moved on from him. Yes, he definitely moved on. The past is past and it stays there. 

“Nah, I wouldn’t. After all I’m still having a good time imagining your .” Mino joked and turned to head back into the building.

“You’re too shameless.” He retorted.

Taehyun followed Mino although he can’t help but smile too with some strange feeling raising in his chest.

“I also remember you liked that a lot.”

What was it again rising in his heart?

Hope…

After that conversation they had thousand others. It felt so good to talk with Mino. He liked to stay in the studio for a really long time to meet with him and discuss music, new songs, his rap or simply what he wanted to eat. He was so happily drowning in those silly moments, he lost his reach with the reality.

Taehyun was always proud of his skills as an observer. He could read people’s minds easily yet he ignored all the obvious signs. Truthfully, he just read them all wrong. He thought Mino was staying in the studio for him, he was always smiling happily because of him, waking up in the morning to make a fresh coffee for him, he was again acting like he was in love… but not with him.

It was for Seungyoon.

Taehyun couldn't remember when they started to be a thing. Did he missed it? How stupid he must have been to think Mino was still that boy from three years ago. What was he really hoping for? He laughed at himself.

He believed no love can last long and that was confirmation he always searched for, he should be proud. Instead he found himself in a state of utter.disappointment as he watched their passionate kiss in the recording room. Only then he started to see them crossing fingers under the table thinking that no one noticed, those little smiles that told a lot or those whispers in the halls when they were sneaking into Mino’s room.

it. I don’t care. I moved on from him.

But he was clearly not over Mino. He tried to reason with himself that it was merely his pride or remorse. Maybe jealousy cause he was alone, nothing more. But with each day, it became clear he wasn’t jealous of what Mino had, but he was jealous of him.

He wanted him back. He was missing him and looking at how much Mino wasn’t thinking about him at all made it all far worse. He tried to escape into music. Thousands of melodies but all of them about Mino.

He wanted what they used to have. He wanted it back. He wanted it badly.

One night in their dorm after another sleepless night he sat as always at the kitchen table, counting seconds till morning.

“You're awake?”

Startled, Taehyun turned to face the owner of the voice. Mino was only in his sleeping pants, standing in the entrance to the kitchen. He was scratching his head, half awake.

“Not in the mood for sleeping." He tried so hard not to check him out but his chest wasn’t making it any easier.

Damn, just focus on the glass in front of you Taehyun, he scolded himself. “And you?”

“My leg hurt again.” Indeed he walked with a limp through the kitchen. "Stupid cramps, I just need to walk it of.”

Taehyun noted in his mind to kick his to the doctor tomorrow. He knew Mino hated doctors and was way too scared of hospitals. However as his… as his what? He asked himself and swallowed the bitter thought.

“Wanna drink something?” Mino interrupted his train of thoughts while searching in the fridge.

“Already have.” Taehyun answered shortly.

“Aye you’re really something.” Seeing Taehyun's puzzled expression, Mino added “Always taking such a good care of yourself, no one needed.” He reached for the glass from one of the cupboard.

It hurt, the last part of Mino's statement.

“I’m not that self-centered, you know.”

“I don’t think I’m the best person to judge.” Mino said with bitter smile. They knew they needed to have this conversation and now the time finally came.

“Right, you’re with Seungyoon now. He's an expert of putting everything before him.” Taehyun said sarcastically. He flipped his hair. Even saying this was annoying him to no limit.

“Don’t drag him into this.” Mino warned with a serious face. Suddenly, his entire body was stiff. There goes the protective boyfriend, Taehyun mocked him in his mind.

“How could I dare to do it? But I’m an egoistic bastard so maybe I don’t care.” Well, Mino you started this so you will have it.

“Don’t care? That’s so you.”

“I cared about you.” That was a statement. Not a question or doubt allowed. He was honest.

“Really? Before or after every time you screwed that guy?” Mino angrily put away his glass with water spilling on the table. He wasn’t even looking at Taehyun.

“You knew I was not boyfriend material.”

“And that justifies what you did?” Mino looked at him with so much hurt painted in his eyes. Sometimes it’s not smart to open old wounds.

“No. But you clearly moved on well from me. Congratulations.” Taehyun tried to cover the hurt with sarcasm, only partially succeeding.

“Oh, stop the bull. How could I ever move on from you?”

Mino's face was so close he could feel his breath on his face.

“Maybe you don’t need to.” He said leaning closer. Maybe he didn’t want him to move on at all. Not with Seungyoon nor with anyone else.

“Stop it.” Mino took a step back and Taehyun mustered every muscle on his face to not show the disappointment blossoming in his heart.  "I’m no longer looking for fun. I’m not that guy from three years ago. I learnt my lesson the hard way.” Mino continued.

“And Seungyoon is the answer you came up with? The guy who’s nagging 24/7 and acontrol freak and -”

Mino interrupted him.

“He makes me feel loved. That is all I could ever wished to feel from you.”

Those words were like daggers skinning him alive. It was painful to hear.

He felt like he was drowning in an endless ocean.

He turned away and went to his room. Tears were slowly falling from his eyes. He lost that battle, but he realized he lost something more precious a long time ago.

Maybe he was a heartless machine like he was called by his ex-lovers.

Maybe he wasn’t capable of love.

That was why it was always turning into dust, all things he hold onto dearly.

 Now even Mino believed that.

Maybe his walls weren’t protecting him but instead pushed others away from him. After all, he had only achieved to break other people apart.

Taehyun was in his room listening to music when he heard the noises coming from the hall.

“Who was he?"

It was Mino, sounding quite pissed. He turned off the radio. He wasn’t eavesdropping of course, he tried to convince himself and it definitely wasn't his fault that the walls are so thin here.

“Just a colleague. I told you a million times already.”  Seungyoon was calmly responding. Sometimes his voice was so calm, it was unbearably cold.

“Sure, it didn’t seem so obvious to him.” But it only fueled Mino’s anger.

“We were just talking.” Seungyoon was now clearly annoyed and tired of this conversation.

“I'm sure you had fun together.”

Mino just wouldn’t let it go. It was so like him, Taehyun thought. He knew Mino well enough to know he won’t get over this.

“Are you even listening to yourself? How stupid is all this?”

“I know what I saw.”

Taehyun smiled. He could easly imagine Mino’s childishly stubborn expression. Maybe he was even pouting.

“You saw nothing.” Seungyoon said, sounding like he was talking through his clenched teeth.

“Yeah, came right on time.”

The silence fell so suddenly between them. Here comes breaking point. Taehyun held his breath.

“What are you accusing me of?! Why won’t you believe me?!” Seungyoon shouted with a trembling voice. He was on the edge of breaking into tears.

“ing tried to!”

Now both of them were screaming.

“Then try again, cause I did nothing and you’re treating me like !”

After that there was a loud sound of slamming doors.

“You flirted with him!”

Mino shouted from the hall, never knowing when to let go.

“You’re insane! I didn’t. you by the way. If you want to break up with me find a better excuse that this lame .”

Came the answer from the other room. Now it was clear he was crying.

“I said nothing about breaking up but you want to break up?”

Hesitation ringed in Mino’s voice, frustration as well as insecurity apparent. Doors slowly opened.

“Of course I don’t want to but you don’t trust me.” Seungyoon said quietly and Taehyun pictured him with crossed arms and red eyes.

“I’m just… in the past…” Mino stuttered.

“Hey. I’m not that guy.”

Seungyoon whispered. Probably by now he was already holding Mino’s hand.

Well, clearly Taehyun was that guy. But no sarcasm in him could cover the pain rising in his chest. He never thought how much he hurt Mino. No, how much he broke him.

“I will never cheat on you. I love you. Only you. But it’s hard to do so when you don’t put a little bit of faith in me.”

And now it was Seungyoon who was picking up the pieces, probably gently caressing Mino’s face and looking deeply into his eyes. He was hurt, but always putting Mino’s feelings first. He was nothing like Taehyun.

“I trust you.” Mino whispered.

Seungyoon must have rolled his eyes.

“Okay, I want to trust you.” Mino corrected himself. “ It’s just that I saw you with him laughing… you were smiling…”

“Dummy. I will never smile at anyone like I smile at you. You’re the only one on my mind. Remember that next time.” He was most likely showering Mino with warm kisses, with the small kisses Taehyun saw so many times by now and was so annoyed of.

“I’m sorry.” Mino said shyly. He truly was.

“Good. Now repeat after me Kang Seungyoon only loves stupid Song Minho.”

Both of them laughed a little, the tension was gone.

“I love you too skinny .” He could feel Mino’s embarrassing smirk through the door.

“Skinny? You’re so not  getting it tonight.” Seungyoon went along perfectly with the teasing. It was so easy for them to put stuff behind them, to leave things behind less broken and to heal.

“Sorry. I meant, perfectly skinny I would never resist.” Mino’s voice became deep and rough. This voice was a perfect turn on.

“Better…”

Taehyun the music. Loudly. He didn’t want to hear rest of it especially not the sound of two bodies landing on Mino’s bed. It was too much. He touched his chest.

Why are you bothering me? He asked his own heart.

Yes I broke him, but he is perfectly moving on from me. Seungyoon is the perfect guy for him. He loves him perfectly.

So why are you hurting? It’s not like he was hoping for their break up, Taehyun was not that pathetic.

He was perfectly fine. Alone, without him. He was not thinking about him at all. He was fine. Maybe a little hurt. Maybe just for tonight.

It was a month after that when Mino was diagnosed with bone cancer. Everything that happened next was just a blurry picture of them in the hospital rooms and waiting. Treatment was needed to fight the cancer. If not.. He wasn’t thinking about 'if not'. Like Mino, all he could hope for was a positive reaction.

“I think I’m going to get a buzz cut.” Mino said, looking into the mirror in his hand.

“You’re going to look like a wrinkled egg.” Seunghoon laughed. He was sitting comfortably on his bed.

“Shut up ugly face.”

“Not a chan-"

Both of them spotted Taehyun's presence. He shared that awkward look with Mino. Well they weren’t really speaking after that fight. They tip toed around each other, not fighting but not being on good terms either.

“I’m going to get something you wouldn’t care about either way.” Seunghoon said, leaving Taehyun with a long warning look. He was so protective over Mino, he expected nothing good from Taehyun. But he came here to make amends. 

“Hey.” Mino said awkwardly. He tried to hide himself in the duck printed bathrobe. Like he was ashamed of his skinny body and balding head.

“Hey sunny boy.” Taehyun spoke calmly. He knew Mino  liked that nickname. He was always saying that Taehun said that when he thinks he was really y. “How are you doing?”

“As good as I can, eating only jelly things.” Mino complained.

“Going to bring something delicious next time.” Taehyun promised, sitting on the bed next to Mino.

“Just hide it well from Seungyoon, he’s going to kill me if he finds out.” Mino warned, granting him with his smile.

“Or nag you to death.”

“Now that’s ing scary.”

“Speaking of him…” Taehyun started. They needed this conversation as much as he needed to be by Mino’s side and it was impossible without closing that chapter. No matter how much it was going to hurt him.

“Taehyun…”

“I think he is good for you. Really good.” He looked into Mino’s eyes. He wanted him to see he was honest. “You match well.”

“Why do you want to discuss it now? Am I dying?” Mino tried to joked, but smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Of course you’re not. But we didn’t have this conversation after our break up, when we should have. If we don’t have it now, everyone is gonna smell something is wrong. They might ask and we wouldn’t want to have that. Besides, believe me it is hard for me to speak out about my feelings but we need to get some things straight. I will start.”

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly after taking in a deep breath. He wasn’t the type to apologize for anything or to anyone but Mino was a different case. “I’m sorry I cheated on you. It wasn’t because I didn’t care about you, but because I cared too much. I was scared, so I did the stupidest thing in my life.”

“Why were you scared?” Mino asked softly.

“Because all of my relationships ended badly and I couldn’t bear another heartbreak. I was too scared to put my trust into you. I chose fear instead of you.”

There was a long silence between them. Taehyun was staring at his knees, uncertain of what he was going to hear.

“And I’m sorry too.” Mino finally broke the silence.

“What for?” Taehyun asked, shocked.

“For pushing it on you. I wanted everything in one go. I was impatient and idealistic. I wanted something that was only an illusion born from the love stories I heard of. I wasn’t listening to you, but preferred to convinced you. I’m not gonna lie that when we ended things, I was a mess. I was in pieces. It took every ounce of my self-control to see you every day and not wanting to punch you or to kiss you.”

“What stopped you?”

“You. You changed. You became the person I saw only glimpses of. You became caring. I saw what you were doing for me so I could find myself well in new team. After that, I came to the conclusion that instead of looking for crisis, it was better look at it as an opportunity for us to have a fresh start.”

“I didn’t change enough.” Taehyun conceded.

“You’re here. You did it, Taehyun. You opened your heart to people.” Mino smiled at him proudly.

Yes, I did because of you.

And you’re still the same Mino. You’re still so in love with people, just no longer in love with me.

“And you changed too. That sunny boy grow up into fine man. Finish up chemo and come back to us quickly."

“Sure thing.”

“I wrote a new song. Wanna listen?”

“Like I ever said no."

After surgery Mino was still in coma. No one wanted to say why, but no one was really asking either, afraid of the answer. All his friends and family were taking shifts to be there when he wakes up. Taehyun was never there.

He was saying he’s too busy with their new album and stuff but he wasn’t doing anything all those long days. Inspirations left him and all he saw on the screen was a white place filled with nothing.

On the tenth day he couldn’t stand it anymore. He went to the hospital. He needed to see him. He needed to see Mino. He found his room, but couldn’t come inside. His legs were shaking and his palms were sweating. He was never so uncertain. It took him many deep breaths until he finally opened the door.

“Taehyun…” Jinwoo was sitting next to Mino’s bed. He had a book in his hands probably reading it out loud for the last few hours. “I will leave you two…” he stated awkwardly, grabbing his bag and left the room.

Only when he was left alone did Taehyun mastered the courage to look at the bed. He was there, surrounded by the machines. Wires coming in and out of his body. He looked so tiny, like a doll left behind. They say sleeping people looked peaceful, but it was not true.

They’re like empty shells. They feel cold. It’s not Mino he thought. Mino was always snoring loudly and he was so warm.  He would never lay still like that. It was not him.

He sat on the chair next to the bed. He slowly reached for Mino’s hand.

“It’s stupid.” He mocked himself. He couldn’t believe he’s gonna do it. But all of them was talking to him. Mostly Jinwoo. Still, if there was a chance of him listening.

“Hi sunny boy.” He tried and flinched at the strange  sound of his own voice.

“Mino.” He started again but with a warmer tone. “You were always a sleepy-head. You were always sleeping the longest. You’re sleeping long, you know. You probably have very good dreams. “ Taehyun gently touched his forehead. He was so pale. “You need to be dreaming about really good things that’s why you’re late to wake up. But it’s time Mino. Wake up.”

He stopped. Nothing happened. He laughed a little at himself. What was he expecting? He leaned closer to Mino’s face.

“Wake up sunny boy, because I’m starting to be scared. I’m scared you’re not… I’m afraid you might not…”

He couldn’t even say it.

“You’re the best thing that happened to me and I don’t want to imagine a world without you in it. Please come back to us, to me. When you wake up, you will see a better me. I will treat you like I should have done from the beginning. I will love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

He kissed his palm repeatedly.

“Don’t leave me here alone. You know I’m terribly impatient so don’t make me wait for you much longer.”

He placed his head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat that was calming him like a lullaby.

“I love you.” He whispered. “I’m going to tell you those three words when you wake up. I’m no longer afraid. I’m fine with whatever answer you’re going to give. I just want you to hear this. Please give me the chance to say it properly. Please wake up my sunny boy…”

And like an answer to his prayer, after four more days Mino woke up. They stayed in front of his room waiting for doctors to finish their procedures.

He was like a drunk. Nothing no longer matter. Mino was back. He wanted to run into his room and grab him and kiss him senselessly. He wanted to drown into his arms, so nothing would scare him anymore. He wanted to hear his sweet voice whispering his name.

The door slowly opened. Taehyun took in a deep breath.

Mino was sitting on the bed. He was weak and tired, as pale as the hospital walls he was confined in.

He looked at them - Mino and Seungyoon - slowly going through each other faces, searching.

“S..yoon” He barely managed to speak when a skinny body run into his arms.

Seungyoon who was standing at the end so scared just minutes ago, now clashed his lips with Mino’s. He was kissing him deeply with hands cupping his face. They were in their own world, looking at each other, crying and kissing. They survived it.

He smiled at Mino, nodding his head and he silently went out of the room, followed by the others. The only ones left were Danah, Mino’s parents and Seungyoon. It was their moment.

They waited not long when the doors opened again and with hopeful smiles they left Mino’s room as well.

“He’s asleep” Whispered Seungyoon. Eyes still red and lips swollen. “We need to let him rest.”

They were waiting for the car when Taehyun took his chance.

“I left my bag inside” He tried  to sound concerned. “I will be back in a second.”

The others only nodded, happily chatting. It was the first day of good news after such a long time waiting.

Taehyun went quickly inside Mino’s room. He didn’t want to wake him up. He just needed to look at him one more time. He went closer to the bed slowly leaning closer to his face.

“Thank you.” he whispered. “Thank you for coming back.” He leaned even closer. He was so relieved Mino was here again, sleeping peacefully. He was again a part of his world.

His sweet, warm Mino was here.

Only inches apart from his lips, he stopped himself. No, he won’t be egoistic and care only about himself. He won’t do that to him again. Only when he was going to move away, a hands pulled him closer, sealing their lips in a sweet, soft kiss. Only for a few seconds before he pulled away. He opened his eyes and he met Mino’s.

“You’re back.” he managed to say on the edge of tears.

“Yeah, I’m back.”

“Don’t scare me like this ever again. Don’t ever leave me.” Taehyun begged. He was perfectly vulnerable in this moment. No walls left. But it was Mino who was holding him in his arms. If it’s him, it’s okay.

Mino only winked in response and his eyes slowly closed again. It took him less than a minute to fall asleep.

Taehyun pecked his forehead.

“Rest well…”

I can’t let you go

I see the end but baby don’t let go

In case I lose even one scene, boy I can’t let go

The end?

 “I never said I stopped." Mino said slowly. He reached his hand out and lovingly caressed Taehyun's cheeks.

When did he even started crying? He didn’t know and honestly he wasn’t bothered by it. Not when those warm hands were touching him, not when those eyes were looking at him lovingly.

“It’s just…”

Taehyun closed his eyes. He suddenly felt so tired.

“You love me less than Seungyoon.” His voice sounded colder than he intended. He was never good at hiding his emotions. And here he opened up his heart for the first time in his life. He placed himself in such a vulnerable state in front of this man, it scared him.

It was scary to think how much power Mino had over him. How much he can break him if he wanted to.

“No less.” Mino whispered, searching his eyes. “ Just differently.” He joined Taehyun’s forehead with his own. “I told you I would never stop loving you.”

Only then Taehyun pulled him into his arms. He was openly sobbing into the crook of his neck. He wanted to hide him from the cruelty of this world, even from the God who clearly wanted to take him away.

“I love you.” He repeated like a mantra, hugging him tighter. At times like these he hated Mino, he really wanted to hate him, because he always made him feel loved. Even now when he was sick and tired, he was making him whole.

“I love-” Mino started, but only then his arms became weak, his head falling on Taehyun's shoulder, lifeless. In a second all the machines surrounding them started to ring. Moments later, he was separated from Mino.

Pulled away from the room, all he could do was stare at Mino who was now uncouncious and surrounded by doctors.

Fourteen days later Mino was gone. “I love you.” He repeated in dark empty room but no one was longer there to hear it.

Well this chapter is way too long (longest I ever wrote) and It's full of contradictions. It should have been about Mino, but It's more Taehyun centered - I think It's just like that with character such as him he just takes over the story. Namsong is always a special ship for me and it just turns everything into angst - here no exepton. I had the plan on my mind when I was begining writing their story,but then It all turn to dust and became this. I believe best word to describe this chapter is different - like it's so different from others, yet it's fully about love and loss. It's just... yep It's complicated as much as Mino's relationship with Taehyun. 

Please leave a comment after reading - It means a lot and motivates to write more.

Thank you for those who already commented - your words mean world to me!

Hope you're going to enjoy it!