Where do I even start?

Kim Jongin.

He's the everything to my nothing. He's my best friend, my soul mate, my lover — he understands me with all his heart. He knows when I'm sad or when I'm pretending to be happy, he can see it in my smile, though I really don't know how he could that.

Kim Jongin.

He's my knight, my prince, my king and my server. He treats me like a princess, he spoils me so much… I meant spoiled.

Kim Jongin.

He made me feel all the emotions I haven't felt before. Happiness, sadness, blissful, frustrated, loved and grief.

In the church, the way he looked at me, the way I looked at him. The way looked at each other as I walk down the aisle —It was beautiful. And when my father gave my hand to his, it all fell apart.

It fell apart just as he collapsed forward, landing on me. When I felt his weight beneath me and the way his body slowly turned cold as I held him. It all collapsed when we took him to the hospital and the doctor said it was too late.

 Everything crumbled to pieces. I was supposed to be his wife. Supposed to be.

I couldn't even tell him my vows. I never had the chance to promise him a lifetime of us.

“Jinri! Sweetie, wake up!” I groaned when I heard my mom's voice booming at my door. I turned to and grabbed a pillow covering my ear, but then I felt him caress my face.

“Babe, you need to wake up.”

I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jongin smiling at me. His beautiful smile that I missed. I smiled and lay on my back before sighing , “I missed you.”

“I miss you too.”

“I'm going crazy. You're dead and yet I'm still imagining that you're here with me. I just miss you so much.” I mumbled and tried to held back my tears.

It's been two years but everything still feels like yesterday. I hugged a pillow and shut my eyes tightly before opening them again. There I see Jongin hugging me too.

“I love you. And I want you to be happy.