‘So this is real’ I thought in silent when I saw her shining in the Monique Lhuillier wedding dress called bijou from the spring summer collection 2014 that we bought together in Paris. Four of us were standing in her waiting room close to the reception hall where she was about to tie the knot. I didn’t really see her D-day coming. I thought somehow that all of this was a joke and that ‘wedding planning’ was one of those exiting activities that she wanted to try out of curiosity, except that usually when she doesn’t like it, when she gets bored she just stops, but it didn’t happen with that wedding, she went trough it, trough every single boring and annoying detail of it even when she wanted to run away. And there she was now standing ready to take the very final step that would change her life forever, our lives forever.

- Just so you know…you look awful …said Hana earning frowns from the bride Sue and myself. – Don’t look at me like that…I’m just trying to sound different here … saying you look beautiful, wonderful, splendid is so freaking cliché don’t you think?

- Being cliché is fine Hana… I like clichés! Shouted Sunny.

- Well…you look fine…sorry still won’t say nice things to you because I hate you right now, you’re breaking us apart…

- Yah Hana-yah… Stepped in Sue. – She really doesn’t need to hear that right now she’s already stressed enough…but Sunny baby just to let you know if you change your mind there is a car waiting for us behind the villa and ready to take you wherever you want …she said seriously looking at the scoffing bride who was cursing herself for having such non supportive friends…I couldn’t help but giggle at that whole situation, I was enjoying our last ‘single’ moments, or shall I say last ‘single’ quarrel.

- Can you help me here? She begged looking at me. I kind of agreed with them but 3vs1 was not cool for a bride on her wedding day.

-  Babe you look awesome and I won’t let them kidnap you…

- Whatever noted Hana rolling her eyes I need to pee…she then added already heading to the door as Sue and I suddenly looked at each other mentally discussing whose turn was it this time and Sue decided to follow her.

- WAIT! I’m coming with you …she said as nonchalantly as she could clearly not enough for Hana to not notice our act.

- Guys stop it! She begged stopping on her track. - I know what you’re doing but it’s fine even if I run into him it’s FINE… I told you we’re clear now… ‘Him’ being Mino the groom’s best friend aka Hana’s ex boyfriend, which beside Sue getting drunk was our biggest fear of the evening. The thing is that we’re not really worried about her running in to him but more about her running into anyone else. We were here to celebrate a mythic high school love wedding but everyone couldn’t help but whisper about the other infamous high school couple that didn’t make it and a lot of people were eager to remind her about it. None of us would stand any comment meant to her, this is why both Sue and I had to stick around her and follow each of her move. It was like we were taken back to high school.

- Okay…no problem Hon’ we got it…now let’s go to pee …ignored Sue grabbing her and ignoring the latter protest. I was now alone with the bride. I saw how tensed she was and I couldn’t help but feel the urge to hug her like somehow I could take all her tension and make her feel better.

- Hey …you’re going to be fine…I whispered to her ear.

- Where did she park that car again? She answered still hugging me. I pulled back and looked at her with a questioning look.

- I’m kidding…she said looking down then to the window still avoiding my gaze.

- Sunny?

- Ok maybe I’m not…am I doing the right thing? I mean…what if…what if they’re right…what if I’m rushing… what if it’s the wrong decision? I’m only 23 for god’s sake …

- Baby…it’s very common to panic before the wedding… you’re just freaking out because you’re about to commit yourself forever…and forever is scaring …

- You don’t understand she said shaking her head and as she was trying to tell me something she wasn’t sure she should. I shivered.

- Then tell me…is there something wrong? Sunny you know you can tell me everything…I asked sensing something as she had frowning look I couldn’t stand anymore.

- I don’t know…she started walking towards the couch where she leaned on without really sitting, as she was afraid to loose her balance. The truth is…I’m not sure if I want this…I wasn’t really all over the heels for this wedding; all of this was Tae’s idea… She started hesitating and I tried as much as possible to not feign surprise. I didn’t say anything. - He suddenly came up with it after he finished his military service, he proposed and talked to both families saying that he wanted to get married as soon as possible and before I could realize it…here I am…

- But you said yes when he proposed right? I said asking the obvious and a little taken aback by her confession, as we never knew exactly how things really happened.

- Yes I did, of course I did, I want him as my husband, I’ve always wanted him to be my husband… that’s for sure…I was really happy with it but … I didn’t think we would get married straight away, I actually thought of an engagement party or something like that…I wanted to take my time…

- Have you tried to talk to him about it?

- I did…but he didn’t want to hear anything…He kept on pressuring me and accused of not trusting him…not loving him…he’s changed…I don’t know what’s with him and this whole wedding thing…we’re still young don’t you think? And marriage…and marriage is not a joke…

- Well that thing for sure isn’t a joke…it is a big deal but…Sunny if there is someone who’ll be fine with it among four of us it cant’ be anyone but you…because you choose someone you love Sunny…you guys have known each other since forever… he’s your first love… your best friend, you guys are a team and you’re going to deal with this huge thing together! So yeah it’s going to for you during Chuseok and Seollal but when Sue and I will probably have husbands expecting as much as their mothers you’ll have Tae making stupid jokes that only you like, lifting your spirit, making sure that you won’t go berserk…She broke a smile.

- What about Hana? She asked pouting.

- Well if Hana by some miracle does get married her family in law will probably expect…nothing… she giggled a bit at my comment.

- Look…I know all of this might be sudden to you, and Tae’s behavior a bit confusing but I’m sure that these two years away from you in that military environment probably made him realize what was essential, his way in life… and more important with whom he wants to start this new journey…he’s obviously exited about it and doesn’t want to wait anymore…that’s it…

- You’re right…yes of course…that’s it…god I know he’s the right one…

- Of course I am right…You still have about 20 minutes to take a deep breath…think about it…and if it still doesn’t make any sense, well just to let you know I’m the one who got the keys for that weapon car…

- I love you…she said hugging me. – I really don’t know what would I do without you, without all of you …

- You can always count on us Sunny; we’ll always be there for you…never let you down…

-  I’m going to cry…

- Please don’t…Sue is going to kill me for ruining your make-up…

- Yeah you’re right…it took her two hours to make it…she would kill both of us…

- Why would I kill you? OMG did you ruin your make-up? Screamed Sue followed by a sulky Hana.

- You two come here…said Sunny heading her hand for them to hold it. We were now forming a circle.

- Okay… is this the moment where we all get emotional and cry like babies…because I’m not good with it…I’d rather come back later…complained Hana.

- Shut the hell up don’t you dare move your and nobody is crying… it took me the whole afternoon to make a piece of art of each of you, don’t you dare ruin my work! Threatened again Sue who considered her make-up work as important as her paintings itself.

- I’m not crying I just want you guys to give me all your energy I need for the longest walk ever that I’m about to take…

- It’s going to be fine Sunny… Tae is a great guy…don’t worry too much…

- Oh my god Hon’ that’s the nicest thing you’ve said since…forever! I mocked

- Shut up …

- Seriously before you realize it you’ll find yourself banging on the way to the airport…said Sue fixing Sunny’s hair making sure she looks perfect.

- SUE…

- What? Oh c’mon don’t tell me you guys plan on waiting until the hotel…what’s the point of the limo anyway? Riding a limo means riding your partner…it’s a rule…

- What kind of rule is that…scoffed Hana;  - it didn’t cross your mind that people might not be fond of limo ? I mean it’s so cliché…

- Yah…yah… yah … what’s wrong with you and your anti cliché mood…let me break this to you cliché became cliché because it did prove itself … ‘not being fond of limo ’???  FIRST ‘Not being fond of’ and ‘’ can’t be on the same sentence…that’s another rule… SECOND what kind of people is that? DEAD?

Hana only rolled her eyes giving up on any argument with Sue on that kind of topic knowing too well in advance how she didn’t have a glimpse of chance to win over her. I took the opportunity while they were arguing to snap some pictures. They’re by far my favorite models maybe because time taught them to never get awkward around my Leica giving me the chance to steal true moments that spoke more than thousand words. White and Pink, those were the colors I wanted to capture. Those were the colors chosen for the theme of their marriage. Sunny not being able to wear pink (and believe me she really tried hard) forced us to go by her favorite color. If Hana and Sue were given the privilege of choosing their own outfit; which was for Hana a Stella McCartney kravitz satin-twill wrap effect pastel pink skirt that she wore with a white silk tunic shirt by equipment with a pair of Reed Krakoff patent leather and suede sandals when Sue went by a gorgeous Adam Lippes fringed crepe dress tailored for a slightly loose drape that she wore with a pair of Gianvito Rossi white leather pumps. I, on the other hand had to wear Victoria Beckham Denise mesh-trimmed ponte dress with a pair of black Louboutin pumps that recalled the black mesh panels and the exposed zipper of the pink dress. I would’ve been satisfied with that whole outfit If I was at office or out for business dinner but then again I swallowed my objection and surrendered to Sunny’s wishes that asked me to trust her on the Korean ‘wedding friends’ dress codes. The bride maid doesn’t really exist… And just like she was reading my mind the bride said:

- Well…maybe that dress wasn’t a cleaver idea…I smirked at her comment giving her the ‘I told you…’ look when she took me off guard by continuing: - it seems like you’ll still be known as the queen of ‘minpea hagek’ after tonight…she said trying to hold her laugh with the two others soon followinng.

- You guys are ing kidding me right? You do realize this is one of the most boring thing I’ve ever wore and today is not even one of those board meetings my grandfather asks me to attend… I said expressing my frustration by waving my hand in front of my body only to see them burst into a big laugh.

- Boring? Well it was supposed to look ‘boring’ but I forgot to include your unique body features while making my choice…that dress in you screams ‘I know I’m blessed by nature and I’m ing showing it…’

- What do you mean by that? Why don’t you scold Sue…she’s the one exposing more skin here…I objected

- Yah! Don’t drag me in… ‘Sue’ doesn’t have neither your neither your s…she said slapping my making me gasp. I frowned at her. – Don’t look at me like that… That dress screams ‘come and feel me baby…everything is real’ I rolled my eyes at her comment and looked at my reflection in one of the big mirrors the room had. I usually try to avoid close fit dresses (and this one is sharply cut to skim your curves) only to spare the teasing Sue gives me for hours about what she calls the ‘ vision’ my body inspires her. Plus it made me stand out from the traditional ‘flat’ Asian body and I didn’t like that.

- Wouaouh I seriously didn’t know a dress could be that talkative …stated Hana sitting on a chair busy with her phone.

- Are you ing working during my wedding? Hana seriously what the hell?

- Don’t blame her you know how much that bloodsucker had her under his spell…mocked Sue

- Don’t call him that…and I was just answering a random email plus your wedding haven’t really started so no need for the drama …

- Are you defending him??? Ok I was joking when I stated the spell thing but now that I think about it you didn’t talk much about work for the past month…did something happened? Questioned Sue drawing Sunny’s and my attention, as we know how Hana talks about work 75% of the time.

- I didn’t talk about it because there was nothing to say, expect for the first week when I joined his team I actually didn’t see him at all, he’s been away for some resort project that I don’t really know about. My transfer went actually smoother than I expected…his team has been very welcoming, it’s a very professional environment…

- Blah blah blah… ing boring …sighed a very disappointed Sue.

- So everything is doing fine? I insisted.

- Beside the fact that I have to climb ing stairs everyday…yes everything is doing well.

- Stairs? Why don’t you take the elevator?  Frowned Sunny

- It’s … it’s a long story…

***

I felt something hot rolling down all over my cheek; a tear. I tried to hide it away when I felt Sue who was standing at my left suddenly hugging my waist tight with both of her arms while resting her head on my shoulder when Hana who was sternly standing at my right biting her lips felt the urge to squeeze my hand. Three of us were actually trying to hide it. I always found it odd and superficial when the bride's best friend is tearing during the vows but I realized at that moment that she doesn't cry because of the stunning white dress, the look in the loving groom's eyes or the beautiful speech the reverend is giving. She doesn't cry because she's happy for the most beautiful day of her soul sister's life. No, she cries because she's sad, genuinely sad. She realizes at that moment that beside the promises they made to each other saying that everything will be the same nothing will change and that nobody will tore them apart they secretly knows that it can’t be that way. Something will change. Something is changing right now. From now on she’ll probably be the one calling the husband when she can't get a hold of her friend when it used to be quite the opposite, she'd make sure to check that it's ok with ‘the husband’ if she randomly wants to show up at her place or crash over when she never had to, and any plan of girls nights or trips will always have to be boringly planned in advance when it happened so many times to not be planned at all.

- Stop it before she sees you I heard my grandmother whispering as was sitting right behind us before giving me some tissues. I grabbed it and give it to the girls who snapped back to the reality, as the bride and the groom were soon to be official. Three of us were panicking and checking mascara waving our hands in front of our eyes and I was shocked Sue wasn’t reprimanding us…

- Don’t worry…I used the best existing waterproof mascara ever…I knew it would happen she said winking at me. God I didn’t even said a word.  

- Whatever… I managed to whisper too tired to figure out why she kept nagging if she knew it wouldn’t smudge…Everyone was applauding now since the reverend just announced them husband and wife. Parents from both sides were the first to congratulate the newly wed couple, followed by the extended members of the family, then finally the friends who had to patiently wait not being considered priority. I caught Sunny looking at me and making a face clearly annoyed by the bows and the grin she was giving to every ‘important guest’…

- Poor little sunshine she’s about to faint…I whispered to my friends.

- So many ing people…answered me Sue.

- Well she wanted all this crap she has to go through it…both Sue and I frowned at her comment.

- Shut the up Hana…begged Sue

- God I was stupid thinking that you tearing earlier might be a sign of compassion…I teased.

- I WAS NOT!

- Yes you were Kim Hana…three of us turned our attention to the person to who belonged the voice even if we instantly knew to whom it did. There’s only one person who calls her that way. – I couldn’t believe it either but you did…

- Mino-yaaaah…I said with a high pitch voice giving him a quick yet honest hug followed by Sue who did the same. I missed him. I really did. After all we all were real close friends but I couldn’t bring myself to contact him after we came back last September neither did Sue or even Sunny despite the Tae connection. Still he would never blame us, that was what I love about him. As for Hana they only smiled at each other and exchanged a look that would probably be meaningful only to them. – Are you guys okay? He asked seriously now referring to our earlier girl moment but still locking eyes with Hana as only her answer mattered to him. I felt my heart broke as the realization hit me. No, they were nothing but ‘clear’.