Hello, my name is Do Kyungsoo. This is my story about my social anxiety disorder and how i get through my day with this disorder strangling me.

The blue and white striped blanked that was supposed to cover the small limply body of Do Kyungsoo had fallen to the ground. The white pillow which was supposed to support his head was now at his feet. The left sock warming the boys foot had slipped of and disappeared. Kyngsoo couldn't sleep.

It felt like someone strangled him and he couldn't breath. The memories of his parents was stuck in his head. His misery, his pain, his hatred.

He started to scream. He was screaming for help. He needed someone there. He was nailed down to his bed, his legs kicking down in the mattress. He couldn't see. His eyes was soaked. His screams became weaker and his throat scorched. Kyungsoo wanted to disappears, he didn't want this kind of life. 

Why him? Why wasn't it someone else. Anyone but him

 Without realizing Kyungsoo went unconscious and woke up hours later after his anxiety attack. He was on the cold wood floor of his bedroom. He let out a loud groan and shakingly raised himself from the floor. His body was freezing cold making his pale skin look even paler than usual. Kyungsoo rubbed his eyes and shuffled over to his apartment bathroom. 

Looking into the mirror was frightful, he looked like a monster. His sclera had turned red and he had deep dark bags under his eyes. His lips where cracked and his hair went in every direction possible.  He felt fragile, like his body was made of thin glass and if he touched anything he would break into a million Pisces.

Kyungsoo undressed himself from his wrinkly shirt and boxers and threw his clothes into the laundry basket before he made his way to his shower. He twisted the handle on the shower and waited for the water to turn hot before he stepped in and let his tears fall. 

Once out of the shower and fully dressed he made his way to the kitchen to make himself some coffee. He pressed the 'on' button on his espresso machine and placed a capsule into the coffee tap. He grabbed one of his mugs from the cabinet above his head and placed it under the tap.

While he waited for his coffee he went into his living room to grab a book he could waste his day on reading. 

But, before he even made it there a loud knock filled the apartment and kyungsoo felt his face go pale. Once more, and another. He made his way slowly to the front door of his apartment. He was shaking. He hated social contact. He wouldn't even open his mouth at all other then when he practiced his singing. 

He opened the door, mentally preparing himself for what was waiting on the other side. To his relief there was no one there. He looked down and noticed a small light green box placed on his door matt. He looked to his left and then to his right, but there was no one in sight. Kyungsoo bent down and picked up the small box and closed the door behind him again.

He didn't open it. He was scared. Was it really meant for him? He took a small sip from his espresso and picked up the package and slowly opened it. 

He felt his heart beat once again, nervous about what it could be. 

Removing the lid of the box he looked inside it and tokk out what was inside.  There was one small envelope and a small green bear made out of glass.

He felt confused. He didn't understand why he got this. Kyungsoo then opened the envelope to find a letter. 

Bears sleep by day. At night they stay awake to chase away bad dreams. - J

Kyungsoo's eyes widened. He smiled a little but at the same time looked confused. How did this person know about Kyungsoos bad sleeping habits, and worse how did this 'J' know him?

Kyungsoo put everything back in the box and walked into his bedroom. He placed the small box on his bookshelf and put the small glass bear on his bedside table before he went back into the kitchen with a half smile.

Kyungsoos day went on like normal.  He would read, eat, write and go groceries shopping online.

The few people Kyungsoo actually contacted knew that Kyungsoo made a living from an online novel he was writing. He was quite famous for it actually. He had removed comments on his chapter to scared to get judged. He did it for mere fun. But let people send him fan mail in his inbox. He didn't usually look at them but sometimes he dared to look.

He sat down bye his computer and opened a new word document. He was at chapter 76 and the story's plot had already been set. He worked on his new chapter for a couple of hours before he called it a day. He saved his document and closed his computer. 

He walked back into his kitchen and started on his dinner. He looked through his cabinets and putt something together from the rests he had. Once done and finished with his dish. He washed up and went to bed. 

Stealing one small glance at the small teddy bear that was placed next to him, he smiled and fell asleep in an instant.