Different. What was so great about being different? It was all well and good for people that were well liked and happy to spout that , saying things like ‘just be yourself’ or ‘being weird is the new cool’. And it was true. So long as you were the right kind of weird.

Being different didn’t mean wrong, but it didn’t stop people from picking on you, or making you feel terrible about yourself. It didn’t stop people from laughing and pointing fingers. Being proud to be yourself was all well and good, so long as you had the confidence to do so. So long as people accepted your kind of weirdness as the right kind.

Minseok, as it turned out, was not the right kind of weird. It wasn’t as though he didn’t have friends, and his family were wonderful. They really were, but depression didn’t discriminate. And it hit Minseok hard.

He didn’t want to disappoint anybody, but the strain of the world had become far too much to handle.

Growing up as the only special among Normals and having them blame you for the Rogue attacks was not easy. It was crippling and kids could be cruel.

Seventeen long years he had endured it. All the bullying, the teasing, the feeling of self-hate. But it was taking its toll and he didn’t want to have to do it anymore.

It must have been at least one in the morning as he laid on his bedroom floor, a razor by his side and blood pooling around his wrists.

He was slipping out of consciousness when he heard a thud, then it was as though he had cotton wool in his ears as people screamed and shouted frantically. He was being moved and there was a dull ache as something was clamped down over his wrists, then everything went black.

Everything stayed black for a long time, but there was a constant whirring and beeping in his ears. No matter how people described it, nearing death isn’t like it’s made to seem in the movies or the books. There’s no great white light, no moment of where your life flashes before your eyes. Nothing like that.

It was just… dark. A whole lot of nothing where you felt nothing.

The beeping was irritating him. He couldn’t make out which way it was coming from and the constant whirring was giving him a headache. At least he knew he wasn’t dead. But he’d liked to have known why that was, considering he’d done everything right. He should have bled out.

“Come back to me, darling” that was his mum’s voice, “My baby boy. Minseok, honey, come back to momma. Please darling, don’t make me lose you”

What was his mum doing? Where was she? Why couldn’t he feel her, see her?

There was the sound of a chair scraping and soft sobs, “Don’t worry, he’s tough. He’ll pull through” that was his dad. His dad was there too?

But where?

“Why would he do this? My poor baby, how could I not have known he was hurting so badly” his mum asked tearfully. Even in his darkened state, Minseok could picture her face, and it broke his heart.

‘No’ he wanted to scream, ‘no, it wasn’t her fault. She’d been nothing but wonderful to him his entire life’

“He was good at hiding his sadness” his dad said thickly as though trying to stay strong and be the voice of reason. “He didn’t want us to know. The daft sod probably thought it was only a burden to us”

A sigh left his mum, “We should have made it clearer that he could have come to us… Should have made him understand that nothing he did or said could be a burden on us. He’s our baby, he’s ours to look after, he doesn’t need to hide… Oh, this is all my fault”

“No” Minseok croaked, a bright light invading his vision, he barely managed to keep his eyes squinted open at the way the light stung, “No. Not your fault”

His mum gasped, “Minseok! Oh my god, you’re awake!” she cried harder, hugging him tightly as she did.

“Where am I?” he asked, he was in an uncomfortable bed with wires attached to his body and thick bandages covering his sore wrists.

His mum pulled back to look at him sadly, “You’re in the hospital, sweetheart. You’ve been sleeping for three days. You… You lost a lot of blood”

Minseok swallowed the lump in his throat, “Why…” he managed out, the ‘did you save me’ getting lost in the flurry of confused tears.

“Why didn’t you tell us that you were hurting? We could have helped you…” His mum asked sadly.

Minseok’s lip wobbled, “Wanted to die” was all he could say. How was he supposed to have told them that?

His dad coughed intentionally, “This is obviously going to be hard for you. But it will get better, Minnie. We’ve talked to the doctors and they’ve recommended an… an institute… You can’t use your gifts there, but it will help you find yourself again”

Minseok bit his lips hard, until he could taste blood on his tongue, “You don’t get it” he whispered, “I’m tired of always hiding. I’m tired of being different. I don’t want to live if it means being bullied all my life, or not being able to just… be. I don’t want that. I’m tired of being blamed for things that are out of my control. I’m not a bad person because of what I can do, t-they think that all the bad in the world is on me and I’m done with it. I don’t want to be alive anymore. You d-don’t get it” he sobbed.

“Perhaps” a voice said from the doorway, “I can help with that”

The three of them turned to see a peculiar looking man stood there with a soft smile on his lips.

“And you are?” Minseok’s dad asked cautiously.

The man simply looked at Minseok, however, “Minseok. You’ve been through a great deal of pain, and I wish to help you with that. My name is Lee Jinki and I’m headmaster at EXO’s school for Speacials. Should you wish to attend, I can help you better understand yourself, you will be amongst your own kind and you will learn our histories, along with how to control your power.

 “It is probably your best chance at wanting to see your life through again. But the choice is yours. You may follow the advice of your doctor and live out your youth in an institution, or you may come with me as soon as you are discharged and live to reach your full potential. One of my students is a healer. A rare creature in this day and age. He can heal your wounds as well as coach you through your mental illness. I’ll return Monday for your answer” he said before turning to make his leave.

“Wait” Minseok called hoarsely. Stopping Onew in his tracks, “I don’t need until Monday. I’m… I accept. I’ll go with you. I need to be with people like me, where I can be myself. Around people that understand how it is to have a gift”

His mum gasped slightly, “Minseok… Think about this…”

“I’m being sent away either way” the boy pointed out, “At least this way I have a chance at being happy. Don’t you want that?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then please, mum. Please. Let me do this” Minseok begged.

His mum nodded sadly, she only ever wanted the best for her son, and if this was for the best, then so be it. “Alright” she said, pressing a lingering kiss to her son’s forehead, “if this is what you want”

“It is”

“Promise me you’ll write” She asked.

“I promise, mum”

Onew smiled, “I’ll be back to pick you up in two days. In the meantime, say your goodbyes”

And with that, he was gone and the weight felt as though it was finally being lifted from Minseok’s shoulders.

“What you thinking about?” Jongdae snapped Minseok from his thoughts.

Minseok smiled slightly, “Just that I’m really happy to be alive. To be living. And that I’m thankful I for to meet you and everyone else because of Onew and EXO” he admitted.

Jongdae smiled sweetly, “I’m happy you’re alive too. Seeing you now compared to when you first got here… You got to EXO like a week after me and I remember that I’d never seen someone look so… tired with life. And I got to watch you come out of your shell and really open up. I got to watch the light return to your eyes after so long of them being blank. I’ve always admired how amazingly strong you are.”

“Now you’re just being dramatic” Minseok replied, but he was smiling and reaching out to hold Jongdae’s hand in his own.

Jongdae laughed, “Am not. You just don’t see what I’ve seen. You’re… I don’t even know how to say it. You just… glow. I just think it’s really admirable that you were on the edge and you didn’t give up. You could have told Onew to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine, but you didn’t. You gave yourself a second chance and look how well you’ve done because of it. When life hit you the hardest, you turned around, grabbed a ing sledge hammer and hit right back! That’s pretty rad if you ask me” he shrugged, lacing their fingers together and letting his thumb the back of Minseok’s hand. “And you did it all whilst being one of the nicest people I know. Nobody would have been able to blame you had you been bitter and nasty as a result of what you dealt with”

Minseok’s lip quivered slightly, “Well the way I see it, being bullied doesn’t give you a right to bully back. That makes you just as bad and as for the depression… I didn’t want to let that rule my life anymore. It’s not easy to live with, but you can live with it”

“The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it” Jongdae sighed.

Minseok paused, “We’re having a heart-to-heart and that, in your mind, means ‘quote Buffy’? Naturally.” He shook his head in amusement.

Jongdae grinned, “There’s never a bad time to quote Buffy. That show was kick- and you know it”

“Yeah, well that’ll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo” Minseok sniggered, “That show was – and still is – my life, to be honest”

“Is it bad that the musical episode was my favourite one? Giles’ voice just slays me in all the right ways,” Jongdae said, humming happily. Feeling a lot better since his minor fall back of exhaustion.

Minseok grinned, “I have the ‘I’ve got a theory’ song stuck in my head now, Dae. Thanks for that.”

“But Min, do you have a theory, that it’s a demon? A dancing demon?” Jongdae laughed.

Minseok grinned, “Nah, something isn’t right there. However, I’ve got this feeling, some kid is dreaming, and we’re all stuck inside this wacky Broadway nightmare”

“I have a theory we should work this out, it’s getting eerie, what’s this cheery singing all about?” Jongdae continued on.

“I GOT A THEORY IT DOESN’T MATTER! WHAT CAN’T WE FACE IF WE’RE TOGETHER?! WHAT’S IN THIS PLACE THAT WE CAN’T WEATHER? APOCOLYPSE… WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. THE SAME OLD TRIPS, WHY SHOULD WE CARE?!” Baekhyun burst out, a hand over his heart and the other stretched out in front of him for dramatic effect.

“You missed out half the song, you -weasle!” Jongdae scoffed, playfully shoving Baekhyun, who only laughed in return.

Chanyeol rolled his eyes, “You shouldn’t be singing anyway. We’re not meant to be drawing attention to ourselves” he said, taking the lead as they trudged through the muddy woods.

“But Yeol,” Minseok said, a mischievous lilt to his voice, “There’s nothing we can’t face…”

Jongdae nodded, “Except for bunnies…”

Jongin frowned. Something felt wrong. There was something amiss. He’d had this feeling before though… When Sehun was in tro- Sehun!

Without so much as a second thought, Jongin threw caution to the wind and let his mind guide him to his best friend.

As it turned out, Sehun was huddled on the ground as three Rogues towered over him. Jongin didn’t hesitate as he darted forward and tackled one of them to the ground, effectively bringing down the others like dominoes. He gave the largest of the trio a head- that made him feel a little woozy but did more damage to the thug of a Rogue.

“And stay down” he hissed before clambering over to Sehun.

“Are you mental?!” Sehun demanded, “What are you playing at, Kim Jongin?! Are you stupid!” he landed a hard punch to Jongin’s arm.

Jongin hissed, “Ow! That’s the thanks I get for saving your ugly ?”

“My is beautiful, thank you very much. And do I look like a damsel in distress to you? Sehun scoffed, “I was doing just fine, for your information”

Jongin rolled his eyes, “You are kidding? You almost got your arse handed to you. You’re lucky I showed up, brat”

“Why did you show up?” Sehun questioned, “You’re supposed to be in the city, aren’t you?”

Jongin shrugged, clambering to his feet before pulling Sehun up also, “I felt that you were in trouble, so came to help. Don’t make a big fuss of it, alright”

“You can’t look after me forever, you know” Sehun said softly, pretending he didn’t know by the way Jongin’s hands moved over him that the older boy was looking for any sign of injury.

Jongin raised a brow as he locked eyes with Sehun, “Oh yeah? Says who?”

“Says me” Sehun said as he gently removed Jongin’s hands, “I don’t need you to protect me at all hours of the day. I can look after myself. And besides, I need to learn how to fend for myself at some point”

“Then start after the war” Jongin said, “Because I’m not letting you get hurt out here. I won’t let that happen. Ever”

Sehun smiled slightly, “You act like you’re my mother”

“Nah, just your brother” Jongin smiled, “You’re mine to keep safe, Sehunnie” he said,  ruffling the younger’s hair.

Sehun rolled his eyes but didn’t push Jongin away. The older boy was an idiot, but Sehun couldn’t deny that he liked being cared for. Liked being looked after. It was nice to know that Jongin always had his back, it was a comforting feeling. Besides, he always had Jongin’s back too.

“You should go” Sehun sighed after a while, “You’ll get yourself into trouble”

Jongin nodded, “Yeah. Well, I’ll be going then. But… Stay safe, okay?” he pressed seriously.

“I will” Sehun smiled, “And Jongin…”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve missed you”

Jongin smiled, “I’ve missed you too, Sehunnie” he said before flitting back to the city.

“Jongin, where have you been?” Kyungsoo asked as Jongin appeared beside him, a small smile playing about the younger’s lips as he looked back at Kyungsoo.

Jongin shrugged, “Had to go and help Sehun, he was in trouble” he told the elder, “He needed me”

“And how did you even know that he was in trouble?” Kyungsoo asked suspiciously as the two of them began to patrol the area.

“I just… felt it. I don’t know, me and Sehun have this, connection or something, I guess. When he needs help, or is in danger, I just get this feeling and I know that I need to go to him” Jongin said, “I just, I don’t know how to explain it”

Kyungsoo paused in his steps for a moment before continuing on ahead of Jongin, “I see” he said simply, not looking back.

“Kyungsoo? Kyungsoo! Slow down, will you? What’s all this about? Oi!” Jongin shouted after him, as loud as he could in then given circumstances, after all, there were still Rogues lurking around every corning, just waiting to pounce.

They’d set up camp in an abandoned block of flats, and each pair took it in turns to parole the area every few hours to keep on top of things, and make sure the Rogues didn’t know where they were hidden as they thought of a plan of attack. It wasn’t like Kyungsoo could destroy the entire city, and now that the Normals’ were all at the safety point, it was open season on anyone the Rogues could get their hands on.

Kyungsoo sniffed, “Nothing, there’s nothing about anything” he said, hurrying forward, only to have Jongin grab him by the arm and swing him around to face him.

“Enough of that. I’ve been back all of two seconds and you’re acting like I’ve just killed your best friend” Jongin frowned, “What’s wrong? Did I miss something whilst I was gone?”

Kyungsoo frowned, tugging his arm back but to no avail, “Oh no, not at all, Jongin. Didn’t miss a thing. All quiet on our end. You might want to check that feeling of yours though, you never know when Sehun needs his knight in shining armour to come protect him” he huffed, still fighting to get his arm back, but Jongin was unrelenting in his grip.

Jongin’s lips twitched slightly, “I see what’s going on here. You’re jealous” he said, “You’re actually jealous, aren’t you?”

“Oh, bloody hell, why would I be jealous, Jongin? Why would I even think of being jealous?” Kyungsoo shot back, “Now you’re being ridiculous”

“Am I really, Kyungsoo? Because you were fine when I left”

“Yeah, when you left. When you ed off without so much as a word!” Kyungsoo yelled. “Do you know how worried I was?! You just took off, no telling me where to, no even telling Yixing, or Junmyeon! For all I know, that could have been the last time I ever saw you, and you come back here, and accuse me of being jealous! What would I be jealous of?! Of Sehun? Don’t make me laugh. I know he’s like your brother, Jongin. I’m not an idiot. Of your weird little connection with him? Bite me. I was worried, okay!”

Jongin’s mouth opened in a small ‘o’ of understanding. He had just disappeared when he’d gone to help Sehun, his mind too caught up in protecting his best friend, that he hadn’t even given his friends, or his own boyfriend a second thought.

“I… I didn’t mean to just disappear” Jongin said softly, pulling Kyungsoo closer and wrapping his arms around the shorter boy, “It’s just that I’ve been looking after Sehun for practically my whole life and when I know that he could get hurt… Well, I act before I think. I’m sorry that I made you worry, alright? I didn’t want that. I’m just… I don’t think about this kind of thing sometimes, which I know, I know I should, but I can’t help myself. I’d be the same with you, you know. If I saw you in trouble… I’d swoop in there and save you like in all the fairy tales” he smiled slightly, noting the way that Kyungsoo’s lips quirked upwards slightly, though the elder fought it back.

“You say that under the impression that I’d ever need to be saved” Kyungsoo responded, raising a brow at his younger, yet taller boyfriend. “I’m still mad at you”

Jongin smiled, “I know” he said, “And you should be, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that I am sorry. And that, although I went about it the wrong way, I’m glad I saved Sehun, because losing either of you… It’d kill me, Soo”

“Well if that doesn’t kill you, I just might” Kyungsoo said, but there was a definite smile on his lips, although it was only a small one.

Jongin hummed, “I wouldn’t expect any less” he said easily before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Kyungsoo’s lips, “I promise I won’t disappear again without telling you”

“You better not” Kyungsoo murmured against Jongin’s lips, the war momentarily forgotten so that he could feel Jongin safe in his arms. “I just… This is what I was scared of, you know? I was scared that I’d be too worried about you to concentrate, and where will that get us? I can’t risk everyone getting hurt, you know?”

Jongin pressed his forehead to Kyungsoo’s as they stood in the middle of the run-down abandoned street, “I know. I promise I’ll be sensible now, okay? You won’t have to worry at all”

“If you say so” Kyungsoo sighed, pressing one more kiss to Jongin’s lips before pulling away, “Come on, we need to carry on and get back to the others. Maybe see if we can find some supplies or something. We’re running low on food. I think there’s a shop not far from here. We can grab a few bits and head back”

Jongin nodded “Alright,” he said, taking Kyungsoo’s hand and leading him on, “Let’s get on with it then”

The two of them made their rounds, only coming across two Rogues as they did, which they took out easily and quietly, so not to draw any attention to themselves.

They were on the quieter side of the city, having been put on patrol with a few other choice specials. The main fight in the city was still going on, and there was somewhat of a rota as to who fought and who was at the back, making sure none of the Rogues escaped through the abandoned parts of the city.

Having been at the forefront of the actions for all the weeks that they’d been at war, it was now their turn to take it to the back, and although the effort they had to put in was still gruelling, it gave them a chance to sleep and get some energy back before they were switched out again.

They loaded up their pockets and arms with what they could that was still left in the shop before heading back to the abandoned block of flats, making sure to take a complex route back, lest they were followed.

Once they were back, they headed up to the seventeenth floor and into the flat they were making camp in, unloading their haul onto the sofa.

“Get anything good?” Yixing asked as he walked into the living room with Junmyeon following in after him.

Kyungsoo shrugged, “A few things. Got some more tinned goods. Got some bread that wasn’t out of date, although it was the last loaf. Got some biscuits. There’s the last of the meat too, so it needs to be eaten pretty quick-” he paused as the other three were already shoving meat and bread into their mouths, “-ly. Well, okay then.”

“Sorry…” Junmyeon said around a mouthful of food, “We’ve just been a bit… on edge and hungry, and… well… It’s been so long since we’ve had meat”

“It’s been a month” Kyungsoo deadpanned.

“So yeah, like I was saying, it’s been so long since we’ve had meat” Junmyeon said, swallowing the last of it, leaving Kyungsoo with none for himself, “We’re just excited to have some”

“I see” Kyungsoo said quietly, “Well, okay. I’m just… I’ll just have some bread and then I’m gonna go for a nap or something. Um, what time is next patrol?”

Yixing smiled softly, “Me and ‘Myeon are headed out in a couple of hours. We might be out for a while though. We’re gonna do a sweep of all the houses. We’re meeting up with a few Specials and we’re gonna go through all the buildings, see if there are any Rogues hiding and planning. Then we’re gonna draw them out. We… We’ve been instructed to bring a few in for questioning about their leader…”

“But we know who the leader is” Jongin frowned, “It’s my- It’s that woman. You know, the one that attacked me in the woods that time...”

“We know” Junmyeon nodded, “But the leaders want us to try and get it out of them how to stop her. They think there’s some kind of connection”

Kyungsoo raised a brow, “You mean like… Like hive-mind, or something? Kill the queen and her army falls with her?”

“Pretty much. I mean, we don’t know how reliable that idea is, but I suppose there’s only one way to find out” Junmyeon shrugged, “Suppose interrogating her people can’t hurt any”

Kyungsoo scoffed, “And you think they’ll talk? That they’ll just hand over all the information that we want and join the good side? Or, no. No, let me guess, they want us to force the information out of them? Well, I’ll tell you right now that I’m not doing anything like that. I’m not torturing people, even if they are ing twats. I will not be that person”

“Soo… We’re in a war”

“Exactly! And that needs to stop being an excuse! It can only go so far. Fighting to stay alive, I can understand. But hurting another person for the sake of information? I don’t play well with that!” Kyungsoo said.

“Even if it means ending this once and for all?” Junmyeon pushed gently.

Kyungsoo shook his head, “Not even then. Could you really justify it? Hurting someone? Could you sit there and do the things that… That those people did to Baekhyun? Could you be that person?”

“I could just… Drain them a little” Yixing suggested, “Then bring them back after they spill”

“That’s a nice idea, but it wouldn’t be that simple. They’d die before they told you anything” Jongin piped up, “Kyungsoo’s right. We’re not torturing anyone. We can bring them in, secure them, but we’re not using harmful tactics. Got it?”

“And what if the higher ups find out?”

“Then I’ll say exactly the same as I did right now” Kyungsoo said, “I might be in a war, but that does not give me the right to use it as an excuse for things that can be worked around” he was firm in his answer, and it was obvious that there was no getting around it.

Junmyeon ran a weary hand through his hair. It wasn’t that he disagreed with Kyungsoo’s beliefs and morals, it was just that he wanted this war to be over as soon as possible. He didn’t like the idea of hurting people either, but if it would mean the end of the fighting and everything that came with it, then maybe, it was worth it.

But Kyungsoo was right in one aspect; no matter what he said, or felt, he knew that he’d never be able to justify that to himself. Even if he managed to justify it to others.

He watched as Kyungsoo moved forward to sit down before he ate his share of the bread before downing some water and wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve.

“Can I ask you something?” Yixing asked softly, sitting down beside Kyungsoo whilst Jongin and Junmyeon grabbed their supplies and took them to the small flat’s kitchen.

Kyungsoo nodded, “I’m all ears”

“You’re against this whole idea of forcing information out of people, right?” Yixing started, “But this person that killed your family… I’m willing to bet that you’d hurt them. I’m willing to bet that the way you feel about it… You wouldn’t need the justification. Only the satisfaction that came with it. What makes that so different?”

Kyungsoo paused in his thoughts. Yixing had a point, but it didn’t change his mind about wanting to make that woman feel real pain. “It’s not different. Not really. But I’m a bit of a hypocrite when I want to be. This person, the one that ruined my family, I have a personal vendetta there. These Rogues, they mean nothing to me. They just happen to be sick people that have messed up minds, but that doesn’t give me the right to hurt them. This woman, the one that killed my mum and dad. She took something from me. And so I’m going to take something from her” he said, his eyes flicking up to meet Yixing’s.

Yixing didn’t look surprised. He didn’t even look appalled by the lack of humanity in the statement. If anything, he looked understanding. His eyes weren’t hard, but they weren’t soft either. He’d lost his parents, he knew that pain, but Yixing had gotten to take the life of his parent’s murderer and then some. It might not have been with his own hands in the literal sense, but he’d done it. He knew the feeling attached to that revenge.

Although others in their group had lost their families, the people that brought them up, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel like Yixing understood better than the others.

Yixing had not only had his parents taken from him the one time. He’d had it twice. Yixing had lived his life not knowing if his mother and father were okay or not. It was like Schrödinger’s cat for him. Whether or not they were alive, he didn’t know. And then that box was opened and there they were. Reunited. He had them back, only to have them pulled away again.

It was a teasingly hurtful way to live. Kyungsoo’s parents had loved him, he knew that with everything, just like Yixing’s parents loved the elder. And they were both the kind of people that would do anything to see that their parents were okay.

But their parents were not okay, their parents had been torn from life, pulled out of it, by these sickening strangers. And if one thing was for sure, revenge was the only answer.

Kyungsoo wasn’t an unreasonable person. He knew how to forgive and forget. He usually wasn’t a person to hold a grudge, but this… This was his Achilles heel, and Yixing, along with that woman, could see as such.

“You’re not just going to kill her though” Yixing said, and it wasn’t a question.

Kyungsoo smiled slightly, “Yeah, well. War changes you as a person” he said seriously, but there was the underlying joke in his statement. The joke of the excuse, because they both knew that war or not, this woman was going to feel Kyungsoo’s wrath.

“See to it you get in a good amount of pain for me” Yixing said, “If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have lost my parents”

Kyungsoo paused, “How do you know she’s the one responsible for the war? It could be someone completely different that killed my parents”

Yixing smiled, “Because I’m not an idiot. Kyungsoo, I might not act like it, but I see a lot. That attack on Jongin in the woods. The look on your face, your defensiveness afterwards. The nightmares you claim not to have. The day you saw her in the street… It’s not obvious at first glance, but if you squint. It’s all there. Jongin was adopted, right? That woman was his mother. She’s got some power complex and she killed your parents. Granted, I don’t know the finer details of it all, but the surface stuff… It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work it out” he shrugged, “Just… When you do get your chance. Don’t blow it. I’m counting on you”

“I don’t plan to” Kyungsoo said softly, “I’m going to show that what it really means to be hurt. She’s going to wish she’d died long ago by the time I’m done with her… But, Yixing… I need you to do something for me”

“Anything”

“When the time comes. I need you to keep Jongin away. I need you to make sure he doesn’t see me like that. Promise me that you’ll keep him out of my way”

Yixing nodded, “I promise” he said, taking Kyungsoo’s hand in his own, just in time for the other two to return to the room, “Now go and rest. You’ve not slept in a couple of days. You’re going to need your energy. I’ll shout before Myeon and I leave for patrol, alright?”

Kyungsoo nodded, getting back to his feet and giving Yixing’s hand a thankful squeeze before letting go, “Alright. I’m off to get some shut-eye, then” he said, giving them all a smile before heading off to one of the bedrooms to sleep, knowing without looking that Jongin wasn’t far behind him.

He didn’t bother to close the door as he walked into the room and kicked off his shoes before kicking off his trousers and shrugging off his jacket, then crawled into bed in just his tatty t-shirt and boxers.

The door clicked softly closed behind Jongin, who mimicked Kyungsoo’s actions before crawling into the bed beside him.

“What was all that?” the younger asked, scooting close and turning on his side to face Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo smiled, resting his cheek on one hand before moving the other to rest on Jongin’s upper arm, “Bonding” he said simply.

Jongin rolled his eyes, “Oh? Hopefully not too much bonding going on there. I might get jealous”

“You have a tendency for doing that, so it wouldn’t be so far-fetched” Kyungsoo teased with a small laugh.

Jongin let out a playful growl before he pushed Kyungsoo onto his back and rolled atop of him, “I can’t help it. You’re so y that everyone seems to want a piece of you”

Kyungsoo bucked his hips up as his hands moved to hang loosely around Jongin’s neck, “Well, luckily for you, I don’t want them. Only want you, Jongin-ah” he purred, enjoying the whimper that left Jongin at the friction of their lower halves.

Jongin pressed his hips down against Kyungsoo’s, their crotches pushing together as he did, his hands either side of Kyungsoo’s head, keeping him steady, “Lucky me indeed” he paused, “Soo… I want you.”

“I want you too,” Kyungsoo tilted his head cutely, “I thought we just covered that”

Jongin shook his head, “I mean, I want you. Now. Right now”

Kyungsoo smiled slightly, “So have me” he whispered, “I’m not stopping you. I want this too… And we’ve waited a fair while”

“But the war…” Jongin reasoned.

“What better reason? Jongin, we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, let alone when this war ends. I want to be with you, and isn’t this all the more reason to remind each other that we’re here, that we’re wanted?” Kyungsoo reasoned back, “I know this is a scary time right now, but we’re both entitled to comfort, you know?”

“Are you sure… Anything could go wrong, and we don’t have… We don’t have anything like condoms or… or lube” Jongin said quietly, his eyes staring right into Kyungsoo’s.

Kyungsoo raised a hand to caress Jongin’s cheek, he could feel Jongin’s hardness pressed against his stomach, and he knew that Jongin could feel him too. They both wanted this, and there was never going to be a ‘right time’ in which to go through with it. They’d fooled around a little, but this would be the first time they slept together, the first time that Jongin had ever slept with anyone.

“We’ll make do” Kyungsoo soothed the younger’s worries, “There are ways around that, alright? I’ll help you through this, and you’ll top, okay? It’ll be a lot easier for you”

“Have you ever… You know, bottomed, before?” Jongin asked hesitantly.

Kyungsoo nodded, “Yeah, a couple of times. Just, make sure to tell me what you like and don’t like as we go along, okay? I want this to be good for us both”

Jongin nodded, feeling a lot more at ease than he had in the last month. Kyungsoo was right, they deserved a moment of comfort amidst all the fear, and this was a way in which they could seek that comfort in one another.