"I refuse to call that place my home. There's nothing but bad memories in there. I simply call it a house I lived in. Home is where the heart is. It's where I feel safe, loved, and happy. You ask me where I live, I'll reply with that address. You ask me where I'm from, I'll reply with your name."

♦ ♦ ♦

"Anorexia." My friend said carefully. "It's described as a medical condition. An emotional disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to lose weight by refusing to eat." Sooyoung folds the hem of the medical papers with precision, stuffing it back into the envelope. She shoves the papers into the pockets of the car door. "It's what the papers said."

I wrapped my hands tightly around the steering wheel. Anorexia.

It wasn't the first time I'd heard those words, of course, it was a term tossed around my job often. I knew I suffered from it, but to hear the words, the actual meaning said a loud made me disgusted. I forced the words out of my mouth. "What else did it say?"

"It says your weight is below average and you have a minor case of malnutrition. Which is a pretty big deal considering we live fairly well off."

Knowing what was coming next, I twisted the keys forward, the engine roaring as it began to heat up. I stared at the blank screen popping back to life, hoping the radio would shoot on quickly before Sooyoung started her usual banter. I had gotten us back onto the road when she opened to begin.

"Tiffany, I think--"

"I know what you're going to say." I interrupt rudely, still focusing my attention on the road. "You think I should stop modeling. You think I should break up with Robin. And you think I should start eating better. I hear it a lot, Sooyoung, so much I dream about it."

"So why haven't you..?"

"Because you guys don't understand!" The car wavers in and out of the lanes. "Modeling isn't a hobby, it's a genuine job that puts a roof over my head. Robin...hasn't been the best boyfriend, but I'd be in a worst off place if it wasn't for him. As for the food..."

"As for the food..." Sooyoung slowly repeats.

I sigh, pressing my head against the backrest. "I feel guilty for eating, there's a lot of pressure to look skinny and perfect. I gain a pound, I lose a job. It's my reality."

"It shouldn't be."

"It's not that easy."

The radio blasts on, but I'm too annoyed to lower the volume. Sooyoung doesn't say anything else, simply staring outside her own side of the window. But there's something that garners enough of her attention to speak up and butcher the awkward silence between us.

"Okay, just one last thing and I'll stop talking, okay?"

I didn't speak, but as a sign of respect, I turned the knob and lowered the volume.

"I understand you can't just change with a flick of a finger. I know you can't just break up with your ty boyfriend, or find a new job, or fix all your problems. But how about we start with small steps?"

"Like what?"

"Step number one." Sooyoung winks, flicking her finger to the right. "Take the next exit."

♦ ♦ ♦

She had directed me deep inside a neighborhood, though I wasn't particularly paying attention. I took brief knowledge of the signs before realizing she was pointing me towards the town park. "On that stop, make a right. We should start looking for parking though."

Finally, I asked. "You're taking me to Raven Park?"

"Yeah."

"What for?"

"Well, it's Thursday.."

"And?"

Sooyoung repeated my last statement before waving her hand forward. I looked up, surprised to see crowds of people surrounding tents.

The large park had been arranged into a makeshift Farmer's Market, rows and rows of white booths showcasing their fresh produce and products filled my entire line of vision. I slowed down, watching out for the families crossing the street. Sooyoung rolled her windows down, a waft of delicious aroma clouding up my car. My stomach tensed and growled in return, my lips puckering as my mouth pooled with saliva.

"That..smells good." I say softly, pulling into a parking spot just near the upper corner of the lot. Sooyoung proudly smiles and for once, I admit defeat. As we file out of the car, I take a good look around, picking out a flyer from a nearby stand. "Raven Farmer's Market, every Thursday mornings."

"Yeah." She slips on her sunglasses and wraps one arm around my shoulder. We begin walking towards the stands. "Like I said, small steps. I figured we can start you off here where you can find the healthy, fresh ingredients so you won't feel as guilty eating."

I leaned against my friend and nodded, the smell of delicious meals dragging me in. Her hug is reassuring and I let her do most of the guiding.

There was a fair amount of people walking around, just enough to avoid lines or unpleasant crowds to fight around. I drooled at every second.

Butchers were showcasing their finest cuts, a curing machine hosted behind their table as the smell of bacon leaked out. A truck was parked beside their booth where a rotating wall heated fresh whole chickens that oozed their delicious scent. I eagerly stepped forward until my hand started to shake. It was a side effect for refusing to eat.

Sooyoung squeezed my hand and mentioned that we would look around first, then find a place to eat.

I watched as fishermen wildly sprinkled ice onto the batches of fish that awaited purchase. Continuing down the aisles, I was met with crowds of elderly women, sharing their traditional recipes with one another as they argued which technique was the best for cooking beef.

Every step we took had us sampling different meals from each booth, eager for customers.

"How do you do, young lady?" A beekeeper smiles warmly, extending a small comb of honey to the two. "Would you like a sample of our lavender honey? Made right in our farm, back in the valleys."

"That sounds lovely." I reply, taking up on her offer. Fairly interested in the process of honey, I took a few minutes to chat with the woman, learning about the hard work and passion she put into each jars.

I bought two of the smaller sizes of her lavender honey and happily shoved them in my purse. Sooyoung looked pleased and proud to see I seemed alright.

Walking away from all the meat and fish, we came to a quieter section of the market where bright, clean vegetables laid on tables. Bags were dangling from the top, signs indicating the price per pound, women haggling over discounts as the seller tried to laugh them off.

I had never been the type to cook. With my modeling schedule so erratic, I found it difficult to set aside time needed to make such delicious meals. But as I walked through the booths, I made a mental note in my head of different recipes I could try whipping up.

Sooyoung did too. We treated ourselves to corn on a cob, brushed with butter, laced with cheese and paprika. The vendor cut a lime in half and squeezed it on top, giving it a tangy, sour but pleasant aftertaste. In the back of my mind, my body was screaming to feel guilty, but it all faded away in the first bite. This was my first real meal in days.

The tall woman bought a couple pounds of corn, eager to remake the recipe at home. She turned to me at one point and asked if I was planning on cooking anything.

"I'm..not too sure." I looked around, setting my eyes on a batch of bright tomatoes near the end. "Spaghetti..maybe?"

"That sounds pretty good." Sooyoung looked up at the sky, squinting against the sun. "Well, it is summer time. That's tomato season."

"Oh yeah?" We walked near the end, passing by an array of fruits. I treated myself to samples of nectarines and apricots, purchasing a few for snacks. There were many things to marvel at and I made sure to visit each booth altogether. From a tiny section of a bakery, to a hummus specialty shop, to eggs and fresh milk.

Eventually, we dwindled down to the last row of the market. The music didn't blare too loudly here, and most of the space was taken up by picnic tables and smaller entertainment sections. Sooyoung had been dragging bags of things she bought that she desperately called for a break. We found an empty table and decided to take a moments rest.

Sooyoung bought fresh watermelon juice from a vendor and chugged it down quickly. I rubbed at my hands which ached from carrying so much.

I looked up and nodded softly. "Hey. Thanks for taking me here."

She grins. "Of course."

"You're right about the whole thing. I hope trying this healthy, organic thing makes me less guilty about eating. Nowadays, I usually have a reaction to throw up whatever I ate. But that corn back there. It was really good. It felt nice to have food in my stomach. I didn't want to waste it."

It was the first step to getting better and we were both proud of taking it. The small meal earlier was just a little treat, and Sooyoung decided she would treat us to a full meal of chicken and roasted potatoes, which the market was known for. She borrowed my keys and said she'd bring our food to the car first, so we could eat without carrying anything.

I got up to help her but she waved her hand. "Nah, it's cool. Why don't you just stay here? Or you can finish looking at the last of the shops." I tilted and gazed upon the long aisle and agreed.

The last row hadn't had anything too particularly outstanding. It continued from the previous vegetables and fruits aisle, and very few people were around this section of the market.

I walked towards the fence which indicated the end of the place and simply turned around, wondering if I should meet Sooyoung near the front. Just as I continued trekking forward, I spotted near the corner, a sleeping farmer.

The woman had her head tilted back, a small electric fan blowing at her face as she slept with wide open. The sun shone on half of her face, but didn't seem to bother her one bit. She had her arms crossed, back resting against the wall of her booth. Her hair flapped around with the fan swaying from side to side.

I held back a chuckle and managed to control it into a tiny grin. A part of me felt bad. How long had she been sleeping there due to her lack of customers? Sure, she had a bad location, but her crops seemed pretty decent. Each table had an organized base of fruits, ranging from tomatoes, to green beans, peppers, and even cucumbers. There wasn't anything extraordinary, but I always made an effort to visit each booth. I know how lonely it could be.

Curious to see if she'd wake up, I carefully trotted over, pretending to be interested in her produce.

She kept sleeping, her innocent, squishy looking face drooling away. I snickered, this time, a little too loudly.

"Scruba dub dub..wuh..?" The woman woke up, groaning at the bright sun that slapped her face. It takes a few moments for her to realize I'm even there. "Scruba dub dub, there's a kitty in the tub. Oh my god, a customer." She whacks herself and jumps out of her seat. "Hi, how high are you?"

I chuckled again. "Do you mean, hi, how are you?"

"Oh." She blushed and let out a sigh. "Yes, yes. Sorry. You see, I don't get too many customers so I kind of dozed off.."

"I saw, you looked pretty peaceful."

The woman nods and smiles, then waves her hand around the booth. "Well, can I help you find anything today?"

"I was just looking." I flash a polite smile, now feeling guilty I had woken her up only to leave. Well now I have to buy something. I thought to myself. I decided to ask where her produce was from.

She rolls up her sleeves and I'm surprised to see her intense muscles. She pulls down her apron, a small logo appearing of a house with the letters 'Stardew Farm'. 

"It's all the way back in the valley. A three, maybe, four hour drive from here." She explains.

"Ah, you work for a farm?"

"Sort of. I own it." She laughs. It's contagious because I start smiling again.

"That's..actually pretty cool. No wonder you're all buffed out. Ah, if you don't mind me saying that, of course."

"Not at all!" She pats and squeezes her upper arms. "It's a good work out. But never mind that, you look like you could use some extra melons." She fishes out two small sized melons from a basket next to her foot and hands it over. "How about it?"

I paused, looking for a price sign. The farmer seems to understand my expression and shakes her hand. "No no, don't worry about it. It's free, go on. Take it."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Melons grow a lot in the summer, I had some surplus. Don't worry about it."

I graciously returned the smile and nodded. "Wow, thanks. Oh. Uhm, your name. May I have your name?"

"Taeyeon." Her hand extends over the counter for a handshake. I drop a melon on the table to accept it.

"Tiffany." I respond back.

The day ended without anything else too eventful. After dropping Sooyoung off, I returned home, thankful to find Robin, my model boyfriend, fast asleep on the couch. I liked him better when he wasn't conscious anyway.

I slipped into the showers and melted against the hot water, I closed my eyes and remembered that beautiful, sunny smile from the market. Just before heading to bed, I fished out the flyer from my bag and looked at the times. Thursday mornings.

I pulled my phone out and asked Sooyoung if she had any plans next week.

♦ ♦ ♦

"I didn't think you'd be so eager to go again..especially this early." yawned my tall friend. She lifted the lever on the side of her chair and tilted it back, avoiding the early sunshine. I briefly glanced at my watch. 8:04AM it read in green letters.

"They're probably still setting up." I mention briefly. "But I wanted to go early. Less people, better stuff. Plus, I have to go to a shoot at noon."

"Uh huh.." She dozes off as I focus on driving. Raven's Park was not in my town. It was further up North, past the bridge that separated the city from the suburbs. It would take us about a half an hour drive to get there, but I didn't mind.

We pulled into a good spot, excited to see all the booths already up and about. There were more vans and trucks still dropping off shipment as vendors slowly got ready. To keep Sooyoung from complaining, I treated her to a nice cup of jasmine tea, courtesy of one of the shops.

She sipped it slowly, still finding strength to wake up. The chicken roast stand had just fired up it's oven, saying it'd be a while until they were ready to serve.

"Are you in a hurry or anything?" I ask in between sips. "Or is there a specific ingredient you need?"

"..Nah, not really. Maybe some more fruits. Hyoyeon ate all my strawberries yesterday."

I tried to remember whether or not Taeyeon sold strawberries. "I'll be back." I waved off a sleepy Sooyoung and walked towards the rear aisles. I was excited to see the familiar, friendly and beautiful face I saw last week. I felt particularly guilty that I wasn't able to buy anything from her store, so I decided I'd do it today.

She was carrying boxes from her van, arranging them on the table neatly. The farmer simply wore plain, black leggings along with a burgundy shirt. Her apron was hanging from the ceiling, waiting to be worn. As I walked closer, I heard a small, soft, singing voice before I realized she was singing.

"Cause maybe the night that my dreams might let me know, all the stars get closer..all the stars are closer..all the stars.."

I paused for two reasons. One, I knew this song. Two, her voice was beautiful.