Yoochun gave Jaejoong a wary look and said, “You’re an absolute masochist, you know. And moments like these really prove that.”

Jaejoong ignored is friend, instead his attention focused on the cup of bitter coffee in front of him, a small, silver spoon mixing in a precious tiny amount of sugar and swirling the drink in a clockwise pattern.

Yoochun sighed and sat next to him in the ship’s dinning area. “It’s not your fault, you know. You should stop blaming yourself.”

Jaejoong had to huff in exasperation. Of course it was his fault. It could be no one else’s.

A hand reached across the table and caught Jaejoong’s. “You didn’t put that bullet in his gut.”

Reason was telling him the same thing, but Jaejoong couldn’t help feeling absolutely guilty. And the guilt was only building. Every time he went to check on Changmin, every time he saw Yunho, all he could think about was how much at fault he was and how little he deserved forgiveness.

“Sometimes I think you’re too caring,” Yoochun said, laying his top half on the table. “You take too much blame.”

“And you don’t take enough,” Jaejoong shot back, hands gripping the coffee mug.

He had to get back to the infirmary. Jaejoong had been away for almost twenty minutes now, trying to give all of Changmin’s friends a shot at seeing the recently awoken man. He’d have to cut them off sooner, rather than later, so that Changmin could rest. But right now it seemed evident how badly they needed to make sure he was okay with their own eyes.

In the privacy of the room, Yoochun said, “I don’t think we deserve any blame. Like I said, we didn’t put that bullet in Changmin. We didn’t tell him to come after us, and the truth is, Jae, no matter how little you want to hear it, we can’t control the actions of others. We can’t take responsibility for their actions, either. We’re only responsible for what we do, and the choices we make. Those consequences are ours. I’m not saying you don’t have the right to feel bad about what happened to Changmin. But I am saying that trying to take the blame like you’re the one who did it, isn’t something I can let you do. Best friend requirement there.”

Jaejoong turned to him and gave him a weak smile. “Best friend requirement?”

“There’s a handbook,” Yoochun said solemnly. He paused, cocked his head and asked Jaejoong, “Didn’t you get a copy?”

It was so amazing the way Yoochun could lift his spirits so easily. The pain and regret was still there, but also the knowledge that he did have a best friend, and Yoochun was doing his best to cheer him up.

“You know that … you know my jerk of a father, Yoochun. He probably stole it.”

Yoochun returned Jaejoong’s smile. “What an . But listen up, there are all kinds of additives and clauses about best friends trying to take responsibility for things that aren’t their fault, especially when they’re too empathetic like you. How about I lend you my copy?”

Knowing Yoochun, Jaejoong wouldn’t have been surprised if he actually managed to produce a copy of something of the sort. Yoochun was wonderful like that.

Jaejong admitted, “I still feel guilty. I still feel like it’s my fault, even if I shouldn’t. Yoochun, Changmin came after me to try and convince me to stay on with the ship. If I had managed to stay away from the Captain, like you’d told me to, no one would have gotten the faintest idea that I had feelings for the Captain, or that he had feelings for me, least of all Changmin. Just stay away from Yunho. That was all I had to do, and Changmin wouldn’t have been hurt.”

“I guess,” Yoochun huffed out, “it’s like telling a bee not to pollinate.”

Jaejoong gave him a confused look. “Your analogies are decidedly lacking, Yoochun. That or you’ve just attempted a dirty joke, which you would probably know ahead of time is going to be wasted on me.”

“Hardy-har.” Yoochun leaned an elbow up on the table and cradled his jaw in his palm. “I just meant, you can’t keep two people apart who have feelings for each other any more than you can stop a bee from being drawn to flowers. It’s something instinctive.” Yoochun thought for a second, then added, “But I guess if you want to think about pollination as --”

Jaejoong snapped out, “Yah!”

Yoochun gave him a goofy smile. “Aren’t you supposed to know all about how works, Doctor Kim?”

Voice lowering, Jaejoong told Yoochun sternly, “Yes, thank you, I know very well how works. I just don’t think we should talk about it so callously.”

“Prude,” Yoochun teased, knocking him in the shoulder gently. “That’s something you have to wean yourself from. We’re going to end up in the Rim eventually, and they talk about like it’s the weather.”

Jaejoong supposed he was a sort of prude. And he wasn’t certain he wanted to be. So he was going to take Yoochun’s words into consideration, at the very least, and try to open himself up to new experiences and levels of comfort.

“But Yoochun,” Jaejoong said, leaning over so they were pressed at the shoulders in physical contact. “If I hadn’t run away from home, I wouldn’t have boarded the Tohoshinki. I never would have brought the crew out to the Moon Hub, and none of these things with Changmin would have happened.”

Right away, Yoochun replied, “If your father hadn’t been such a despicable human being, we wouldn’t have had to run away. Make sure the blame goes in the right spot, please.”

“Best friend requirement?”

It was true. Yoochun was absolutely Jaejoong’s best friend, and had been since they were children. He’d always been there for Jaejoong. He’d always been comforting and understanding and patient, above all else. He was the most important person in Jaejoong’s life.

“Got it.”

Jaejoong tried to hide another smile behind his coffee cup, but the liquid was more than bitter. It was downright undrinkable, in Jaejoong’s opinion. And it left him feeling almost guilty that he still yearned for something from his old life. As much as his life had been hell on Helios, filled with endless abuse, there had also been the finest coffee in the ‘verse.

It seemed a little funny to think about, or maybe just pathetic, but that coffee had been the highlight of every day for Jaejoong. Rich and thick, dark and brewed to perfection, the strong substance had gotten him through med school almost single handedly. He’d been suffering through caffeine withdraws for several days now, and the irritable feelings attached weren’t helping the situation.

“So,” Yoochun eased out, “I need to know what we’re doing.”

“Here? Life in general?”

Yoochun didn’t look amused. “No. Here on the ship. Are we … staying?”

Jaejoong hadn’t dared to hope.

“I didn’t think that was an option,” Jaejoong found himself saying. And he really hadn’t. Yoochun had never once posed to Jaejoong that it was something they could choose to do.

Honestly, Yoochun said, “I didn’t think it was before. I didn’t trust these people with either of our lives, no matter how honorable they seemed. But that’s changed. I see the way the Captain looks at you. And what he did for you, not just what he did for his brother. That changes everything.”

“Yoochun,” Jaejoong started.

“No, it’s okay,” Yoochun assured. “Like I said, bees and pollination. Look, Jaejoong, you guys like each other. Anyone who isn’t completely blind, deaf or dumb can tell. And the Captain is the kind of man who’s liable to protect the people he cares about. I don’t know if I like him, Jae, but I trust him to do his best to keep you safe. Maybe he’s a fool for tying, knowing the kind of burden we’re carrying around with us, but he’s apt to try, and I’ll let him.”

Jaejoong supposed, “So you think he’ll let us stay?”

“Let us?” Yoochun laughed out. “I think he’ll do everything in his power to keep us. Well, to keep you, but obviously we’re a two piece set. Got it?”

There had never been a doubt in Jaejoong’s mind of that fact. He pushed the coffee mug away and said, “We are a matching set, Yoochun. You don’t go anywhere without me and vice versa.”

Yoochun said, “Good to know. But I guess the real question here isn’t if we can stay, but if we want to. You didn’t answer when I asked a second ago. But you’re going to have to now. Jaejoong, do you want to stay on this ship? If we do, it won’t always be safe, and we’ll run the risk of getting these people hurt if your father ever catches up to us. You need to be prepared for that.”

It was his greatest fear, and Yoochun knew it. If his father hurt him, as he had so often in the past, it was something Jaejoong could live with. But getting someone else hurt because of his actions? That was utterly unacceptable.

So maybe it didn’t matter how badly he wanted to say with Yunho and the rest of the crew. If it was too big a danger to them, he couldn’t put his own needs selfishly first.

“Think about it,” Yoochun urged, getting to his feet.

“Where are you going?” Jaejoong watched as Yoochun straightened up.

Yoochun gave him a more toothy grin. “As much as I’d love to stay here in your self-deprecating company, I’m going to head back to our quarters for a quick powernap. Something tells me things are going to get more exciting around here very shortly. I want to be ready for that.”

Yoochun slipped away from the room and Jaejoong was left with only his thoughts for company. At least until he found Ryeowook tapping his shoulder, a concerned look on his face.

“Are you okay?”

Jaejoong forced himself not to look in the slightest like he was heavily weighed down by his thoughts. “I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

Ryeowook sat gingerly in the seat Yoochun had occupied. “You don’t look fine, if you don’t mind me saying. You look … burdened.”

“Worried,” Jaejoong corrected. “But I’m sorry, am I in your way?”

Everyone on the ship had a specific designated job. But Ryeowook, at least by Jaejoong’s observation, seemed to be a jack of all trades. He cooked, he kept inventory, he was often found in the engine room, and also the bridge, and seemed to occupy his time with whatever he really wanted to. But of course the kitchen and dinning area always reeked of his presence, and a quick look at the clock showed that the next mealtime was coming up quickly.

“You’re not,” Ryeowook said quickly. “And in fact I’d like some company, even if it’s for a second.”

“A second?”

Ryeowook set a data pad in front of him, and bright on the screen were the plans for that upcoming meal. “Of course. I’m sure you’re in a hurry to get back to Changmin. You’ve barely left his side over the past few days, even though you said he’s not in the danger zone anymore.”

“He’s not,” Jaejoong was quick to say. “I just … want to be there in case he needs anything. Or just in case.”

“Changmin’s got Kyuhyun and the Captain falling all over themselves to hover around him. Trust me, they’ve got it covered if he needs anything.”

“Still.” Jaejoong lifted his cup as he stood, preparing to discard the liquid in the sink, “I’d feel much better if someone with any kind of medical training was within arm’s length. At least for another day.”

Ryeowook, who’s age was impossible to pin down just by looking at him, but seemed young like Kyuhyun, asked, “And he’ll recover fully?”

“In a few months,” Jaejoong confirmed, “it’ll be as if he was never shot to begin with, sans the emotional trauma. And within a few more days, if he’s very, very careful, he can get up on his feet. Ryeowook, did this ship have a doctor onboard at one time? The infirmary is almost fully stocked, and it has quite a bit of equipment I wouldn’t have expected to see. You could sell most of it and make a great deal of credits from the sum of the infirmary’s parts. It was unexpected, when I first saw what was inside.”

Ryeowook recalled, “We’ve had several doctors over the years, but they never last long.”

Jaejoong’s eyes widened. “Last long?”

“Yeah,” Ryeowook nodded. “One got killed on accident on a job, one got fed up with dealing with the Captain’s disposition, one tried to sell us to the Alliance on false charges, I might add, and one just up and left without so much as a warning … we still don’t know about that one. This ship never had much luck with doctors. At least not until now.”

The compliment made Jaejoong’s face hurt. “This is a freighter, but I’ll just assume that more than once in a while, this crew finds itself employed on less than legal terms. Is that why the infirmary is stocked so well?”

Ryeowook scrolled through his meal plans on the data pad. “The Captain’s kind of a trouble magnet. Someone always wants to shoot him. We keep the infirmary stocked just in case. And while almost everyone on here has some basic first aid training. none of us could have saved Changmin’s life like you, Jaejoong. We’re not completely inept, just not trained doctors.”

Jaejoong gave him an impressed nod, then asked, “Ryeowook? Can I ask you something? It might be a little personal.”

“Go ahead,” Ryeowook said with a chuckle. “I live on a fairly small spaceship with at least five other people at once. Personal questions aren’t really any issue anymore.”

It was something that Jaejoong had been curious about, and he couldn’t fight the nagging need to know any longer.

“You’re … not the kind of person I’d expect to find living on a freighter. How did you end up here? The Captain is a good man, no matter what he pretends to be, but he also doesn’t seem to the type to take on extra baggage that doesn’t contribute somehow.”

Ryeowook gave him a kind look. “I grew up pretty far out in the Rim. My family was big, very big, but also very poor. I grew up knowing that as soon as I was considered a man in my family, I’d have to leave. There were too many mouths to feed, and the same thing that happened to my six older brothers and sisters, was bound to happen to me. I could leave or I could be forced out. I chose the more dignified of the two options.”

Jaejoong frowned. “How old do you have to be to be considered man out in the Rim? The age of majority near the Core is twenty.” There had been one point, just before Jaejoong’s twentieth birthday, when he’d truly believed that when he was no longer considered a minor by the government, that he’d be free of his father. It had been a foolish idea, one disproved within hours of turning twenty, but for a brief moment, there’d been hope.

“The Alliance doesn’t really have any control out in the Rim,” Ryeowook reminded. “In my family, you were a man at fourteen--maybe fifteen, if you were very lucky. So when I realized that my time with my family was coming to an end, I left. It was my plan to go find work, but as you can clearly see, I’m not suited for the more physical kind. That’s what there’s an abundance of in the Rim, by the way. Which was a problem for me.”

“So what did you do?” Jaejoong inquired.

“I got very lucky,” Ryeowook saidd with a shrug. “My cousins and siblings and I had been distilling alcohol for years and years, which lent me just enough knowledge to get hired as a barkeep in some backwater town far enough away from my family home that I’d never see anyone I knew again. The job was good, the patrons less so.”

“They were belligerent?”

“And aggressive,” Ryeowook agreed. “Sometimes they got handsy, too. I don’t think I need to tell you, of all people, what certain men are capable of. The Captain had an issue with the fact that I was essentially a child, working at a bar and being d by grown men. He started a fight over it, and that cost me my job.”

“Ah,” Jaejoong exhaled. “So in return he put you up on the ship.”

Ryeowook burst out laughing. “Not even close. The Captain felt bad about it, sure, but he was in no position to take anyone on. At that point he and Leeteuk had just gotten the Tohoshinki up and running. She hadn’t even been space worthy for a year. They needed a pilot. They needed an engineer. They didn’t need a kid freeloading from them. It was nothing personal. So I got an apology from the Captain, all the credits he had in his pocket, and nothing else.”

“I’m sorry.” Jaejoong felt horrible now. “I misspoke.”

Ryeowook insisted, “Actually, the Captain not taking me on at the time was the best thing that could have happened to me. I got picked up at a kitchen boy at a bigger city. I got steady pay, I ate for free, and I got to grow up in my own time, in my own way. I ran into the Captain a couple of years later in a manner of way that could be considered a fluke. He had Kyuhyun by then as his pilot, and Onew as his engineer. He didn’t need me anymore then, than he did before. But I think he still felt guilty that he hadn’t been in a place to help me before, and I was feeling a little restless. He hired me on as the cook in a superfluous way, for a six month trail basis, and I fit in here. Sometimes people have a way of fitting in where they least expect. Don’t you agree?”

Jaejoong could only nod a bit numbly. From the moment he’d stepped foot on the ship, or rather, from the moment he’d met the Captain, something had felt right. Of course back then they’d been busy snapping at each other, misjudging the other and not getting along, but it had never felt wrong, and Jaejoong had never felt in danger.

“Well,” Ryeowook exhaled, “I’ve procrastinated long enough. I have to get started on dinner, but you’re more than welcome to hang around and help me. Changmin isn’t going anywhere, you know.”

“I know,” Jaejoong said standing, “but all the same, I’d like to go check on him. Maybe run Kyuhyun or Yunho out of there.

“Good luck,” Ryeowook laughed. “Good luck with that.”

“Maybe just Kyuhyun,” Jaejoong amended.

“Better.”

With the combined efforts of both Ryeowook and Yoochun, regardless if only one of them had actually been trying to cheer him up, Jaejoong headed to the infirmary with his head a bit clearer.

“You’re a doctor?”

Jaejoong turned sharply at the voice behind him. It was particularly difficult for anyone on the ship to sneak up on anyone else. Shoes clattered against metal walkways, and everything was always creaking. It had taken a seemingly endless amount of time for Jaejoong to stop feeling so unnerved by the sounds. Now they were almost like a soothing lullaby. Jaejoong wasn’t sure what that said about him now. Maybe he was a legitimate spacer due to the feeling.

“I … am,” Jaejoong finished a bit lamely, turning to see the man he’s only briefly met, and not under well circumstances. The first time Changmin had been bleeding out in front of him, crying from the pain, his eyes begging for Jaejoong to save him. Everything else in comparison was a little hazy. The second there’d only been the most briefest of introductions. The most Jaejoong knew about this man, which wasn’t even his name, was that he’d helped carry Changmin to the ship. “I don’t think we were properly introduced.”

“Jaejoong, isn’t it?” the man asked.

There was something unsettling about him. He was fair to look upon, and nothing was inherently imposing about him, but Jaejoong’s instincts were screaming at him to get away.

“It is,” Jaejoong replied. If given the choice, he would have used the name he and Yoochun had been providing before, but it wasn’t an option now. “And yours is?”

“Xia,” the man answered easily.

The man was inching forward and all Jaejoong wanted to do was turn and run. It was baffling and unexpected, the feeling of being cornered.

“Tell me,” Xia said, an odd smile on his face, “how does a doctor like you end up on a freighter like this?”

Immediately Jaejoong felt defensive. “Plenty of people end up all kinds of places, for various, interesting reasons. This ship has a Companion on board, which seems the more outstanding note.”

Xia’s head tilted. “It’s terrible what happened to him.”

One the surface, even Jaejoong had to admit, the words sounded sympathetic. But there had been the oddest inflection in his tone as he spoke, and Jaejoong wasn’t sure what to think of it.

“Terrible,” Jaejoong repeated, taking a step back as he realized Xia was nearly next to him. Why was it that his throat was closing up on him, making it terribly difficult to call for help if necessary. Why was he sweating and shaking and what was wrong with him? “But thank goodness you were there to help. It was … convenient.”

“I saw an opportunity,” Xia said evenly. “And I’m an advantageous man.”

Jaejoong breathed possibly the biggest sigh of relief as Zhou Mi came up behind them. Zhou Mi, Jaejoong was quickly learning, was not an overly aggressive man. He wasn’t loud, or brash or prone to any forms of intimidation that Leeteuk and Yunho exhibited naturally. But something about him told Jaejoong he was a dangerous enemy to have.

And at the moment, he was a wonderful friend.

“I thought I told you to wait for me.”

Xia’s hands went into his pockets and he grinned easily at Zhou Mi. “Sorry. I thought you were right behind me.”

Zhou Mi regarded him for a moment, probably attempting to determine the validity of his statement, then he looked past Xia to ask, “Are you okay, Jaejoong?”

Jaejoong gave a firm nod and squared his shoulders. “I am. Thank you.”

Jaejoong took a step back as Xia and Zhou Mi passed, nearly holding his breath until the perceived threat was gone.

There was something wrong about that man. There was something there that Jaejoong’s survival instincts were pleading with him to avoid at all costs.

As expected, Jaejoong found both Kyuhyun and Yunho in the infirmary, and a sleepy but awake Changmin between them.

“I hope you two aren’t bothering my patient,” Jaejoong announced with a smile as he slid through the partially parted infirmary doors.

“No way,” Kyuhyun protested.

Jaejoong did his best not to fall into a puddle of goo on the ground when Yunho grinned wide at him and said, “I know my brother well, Jaejoong. I know he’d let us know the second we’re bothering him.”

“I would,” Changmin confirmed weakly from the bed, his lips colorless, but pulled upward. “And it shouldn’t take long for it to happen. Yunho’s always been a pain in my .”

“You’re lucky you’re my little brother,” Yunho teased, and Jaejoong could see the way Yunho was holding Changmin’s hand, in a loose but clearly protective gesture.

“How are you feeling, Changmin?” Jaejoong asked, motioning for Kyuhyun to move back so he could carefully draw down the blankets around Changmin. “Be honest with me, please. I’m a very pleasant doctor I’ve been told, but I’ve no time for my patients lying to me.”

Changmin offered a pout. “I’m fine. Really.”

“Changmin,” Yunho warned. “You were shot .You’re not fine.”

“Shh,” Jaejoong shot at Yunho without severity. “Changmin? I need to check the wound. I changed your bandages this morning, but it’s been a while, and though I’m impressed with the ship’s infirmary, it also isn’t the sterile environment I’d like to have you in.”

With several sets of eyes anxiously looking on, Jaejoong was able to peel back the outer bandage without much trouble, and expose the wound to cool air for the first time in nearly eight hours.

“I’m tired,” Changmin said finally. “A lot, but I feel like all I do is sleep.”

“That’s normal,” Jaejoong replied. “Your body is working overtime to heal you right now, and a healing sleep is not the same as a regular sleep. You’ll start to feel less and less sleepy as the days pass, and by the end of the week it should be gone completely, unless, of course, you go and exert yourself. Now, how’s your pain level? And no, it’s fine, is not an appropriate answer.”

Changmin gave Jaejoong an exhausted look. “It hurts I’m not going to lie about that. But it doesn’t hurt as bad as I expected.”

“That would be the pain meds,” Yunho cut in. “You’re lucky, Minnie. We actually had some still stocked from the last time.”

Kyuyhun took an obvious and exaggerated step back as Changmin’s eyes narrowed. “From what last time?”

“Ah …” Yunho’s eyes flashed over to Jaejoong’s, pleading for help.

“Yunho!”

It was adorable. For Jaejoong, who’d always longed to protect his sister, but never felt an overwhelming amount of affection for her, it was wonderful to see the two brothers interacting so lovingly with each other. It was easy to see how much they cared for each other, cherished each other, and watched out for each other. Not all siblings were such a way, and it spoke lengths about the type of man Yunho was that he could so openly shower Changmin was affection.

Yunho ground out, “Since I was shot, okay?”

Jaejoong startled and Changmin demanded, “You were shot!”

“Gotta go!” Kyuhyun called out, dashing for the door.

“It was only a graze! Sort of!”

Carefully Jaejoong replaced the bandage on Changmin’s wound and relayed, “If you two could stop snapping at each other for a half second, I could tell you, Changmin, that your would is a little bit red, which means you’ve been moving around more than you should have. It’s nothing to worry about right now, but if you continue to aggravate it, it could be trouble down the line.”

“I wasn’t,” Changmin said insincerely, ignoring Yunho’s accusing glare.

Jaejoong patted Changmin’s shoulder soothingly. “I know how hard it is to lay in bed all day, every day, feeling useless and bored. Trust me, I know. But it’s the only way you’re going to heal and recover fully. If you stick to my advice you could be up sooner than you think. Ignore me and you’ll spend so much time in this infirmary you’ll go mad staring at the same four walls over and over.”

Changmin gave Jaejoong a wary look. “You’re kind of a scary doctor, actually.”

“Don’t talk about your doctor like that,” Yunho lectured.

There was a stool in the corner of the infirmary and Jaejoong slid onto it, reaching for an inventory sheet he’d been compiling of the infirmary’s stock. “Yunho, you can stay and keep Changmin company if you want, but don’t upset him in any way. Don’t aggravate him for that matter, either. I will kick you out.”

Yunho looked a little slack jawed.

“You heard him, Yunho,” Changmin said, a devilish look on his face. “Don’t upset me. I’m delicate right now.”

Jaejoong hid a smile behind hid paperwork.

Dinner was only an hour and a half later, but by the call came for it, Changmin was asleep again. His vitals were strong, his breathing even, and with every bit that Changmin got better, Jaejoong felt himself recover as well.

For the rest of the night Jaejoong concerned himself with cataloging everything the infirmary had to offer, turning away visitors who might accidentally wake Changmin, and fighting back the fatigue that wanted to force Jaejoong into bed.

Adding to the urge to go to bed was the fact that he knew Yoochun’s warm body would be there to curl around him. The Captain had said something earlier about Yoochun and Jaejoong finally getting rooms of their own as soon as Xia was offloaded, which meant his days of sharing body heat with his best friend were coming to a close.

When Jaejoong had been a child, especially after the times he’d been bruised and hurting, Yoochun crowding him protectively under the warmth of heavy quilts had been one of the few comforts to be found.

His bunk on the ship was nothing to be desired, made up of a thin mattress pad and thinner blankets still, but it was his, and it was more than just a place to his wounds. Especially with Yoochun there. It had been a long time since a bed had been more than that.

So naturally, thinking so much about getting to sleep, no matter how little he wanted to leave Changmin’s side, he ended up falling asleep.

And he was shaken awake gently by Yunho’s soft voice murmuring to him, “Jaejoong. It’s me. It’s Yunho. You fell asleep.”

Jaejoong palmed at his eyes as he righted himself from the stool he’d been slumped on. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Yunho cupped a hand the back of his neck comfortingly. “It’s okay. You’re tired. You should get to bed.”

Jaejoong shook his head immediately. “It’s not that late, and Changmin--”

“Everyone else has already gone to bed,” Yunho intercepted, “except for Leeteuk who’s got the night shift on the bridge. And Changmin is fine. You said so yourself. He’s not the one who looks dead on his feet, and that’s saying something, because he’s the one who was shot.”

Jaejoong told Yunho, “You must be in a better place, too, if you’re joking about what happened. I wasn’t sure … you were pretty bad off when I performed surgery on Changmin. I only saw you for a second, but you looked …”

“Broken?” Yunho sighed out. He gestured for Jaejoong to follow him and together they slipped out of the infirmary. “You can say it. I sort of … lost it. Changmin … he’s everything to me, Jaejoong. If I lost him, I’d lose myself. You have a sister. You should know what I mean.”

“I do,” Jaejoong said, and it wasn’t a lie. “And I love her dearly, but we’re not close. I would do anything to protect her, but we’re not like you and Changmin are.” Jaejoong paused, horrible memories welling up on him. “It must be eating at you, how I could let my father run me around like I’m a child, control my every move, and beat me within an inch of my life even as an adult. And it’s because of her. She’s still a child, Yunho, and our father knows she’s my weakness.”

“He threatened her?”

Jaejoong nodded. “I mentioned before she’s a dancer--ballet. The one time I tried to defy him, the one time I tried to rebel and break free and be my own person, he threatened to break her legs so she’d never dance again. And he would. Gods, he might have already.”

Jaejoong leaned forward to brace his hands against his knees. He’d run away. He’d done the impossible, and his father must have been furious. He still had to be. There was a chance, a very real one, that he’d already taken his aggression out on Jaejoong’s sister.

If she never got to dance again and it was his fault …

“You can’t blame yourself,” Yunho said, reaching out to pull him up to his full height. “You did what you had to in order to keep yourself from falling apart and taking drastic measures. That’s not being selfish, it’s just being desperate.”

Jaejoong rubbed a hand along his forehead, more weary than he’d expected. “I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but until I know she’s safe, I won’t be able to stop thinking about it.” And she wouldn’t be safe until their father was dead.

“You’re dead on your feet,” Yunho said once more. “I’ll stay with Changmin, you get back to your bunk. I know it’s not the best on the ship, but the first time we have a chance, you can move to a better one--one o the crew quarters.”

“So,” Jaejoong hesitated. “I’m staying on then?”

Yunho gave him a surprised look. “I had hoped so. I mean, your secrets are out now, and you know this crew will protect you. You have a place here if you want it.”

“I want it,” Jaejoong confessed right away. “I’m just …”

“Scared?” Yunho asked.

Jaejoong shook his head. “I’m … not sure I deserve it.”

Was that what it really came down to? It felt that way. With every fiber of his being, Jaejoong didn’t feel he’d earned a place among the people that Yunho flew with. He didn’t deserve their friendship and their respect. Not yet.

“I just--”

Yunho demanded, “Are you serious?”

Jaejoong was startled. He’d never seen Yunho look so furious.

“You think you don’t deserve it?” Yunho questioned. “You are an amazing person, Jaejoong. You endured years of abuse to protect someone you love, and you became a brilliant doctor who saves lives every day because you care about other people. You are smart and wonderful and brave. Did I mention brave? Not everyone would fight for the life they want. Some would just roll over and give up. You are so damn brave and beautiful.”

“Yunho,” Jaejoong gasped out, his heart so painful with how ferociously it was thumping in his chest.

“I think,” Yunho said deliberately slow, “you are beautiful. Not just the way you look, too, which is gorgeous, but your fire--the fight inside you. It’s beautiful. And I can’t help how I feel about you. I can’t help it and I don’t want to. Sometimes I look at you and I want to kiss you so badly I--”

Kisses in the past had been fleeting for Jaejoong. They’d been done in passing, given more for the thrill of it than the emotional attachment. But now, as he cut Yunho off with his mouth, pressing their lips together in way that surely caught the bigger man off guard, Jaejoong thought he was finally feeling the way kisses were intended to be.

“Yunho,” Jaejoong breathed out, lips nearly brushing again as he pressed his forehead against Yunho’s. “You’re strong and courageous and kind. You’re all the things that good men should be, but rarely are, and I have never felt this way about anyone else.”

There was such a spike of pleasure rushing through Jaejoong’s body as Yunho’s arms swept him up in a tight hold. He felt his head swimming. Then Yunho was pleading with him, “Stay here, you and Yoochun. Stay here and be a part of this crew. I know we don’t always stay on the right side of the law, and some of our jobs are more dangerous than they’re worth, but you’ll be safe here. We never stop moving, we’ll never give you up, and you could have a home here. You could find your place here.”

Jaejoong hooked an arm around Yunho’s neck and bent to kiss his mouth again, laughing out, “You don’t need to convince me.”

“Good,” Yunho said, cradling Jaejoong’s jaw. “You’ll be happy here, I swear.”

Jaejoong already was.

Then Yunho was kissing him, pouring adoration and dedication into the motion, and Jaejoong realized it wasn’t that he was simply happy. No, he was most certainly in love.