Quīndecim

Lachrymose

"Taehyung?" Amaris' soft voice asked as soon as Taehyung answered his ringing phone.

"Hey, Amaris," Taehyung mumbled, fumbling to turn on his bedside lamp. "What time is it? Why are you up?"

"It's three in the morning," she answered. Her voice sounded comforting. Not timid like it usually was when she called Taehyung. She sounded like there was something she wanted to say and for once she was certain about it. 

"Is there something the matter? What do you need?" Taehyung wasn't worried since Amaris sounded so calm, but she wouldn't have called him so early if it wasn't important.

"I was thinking about that dream I had about the mugger," she began, "and about how I thought it would happen in three days-- today technically."

"Yeah? What about it?" Taehyung finally his lamp and squinted at the yellow-ish light, sitting up in his bed.

"Well, you know how the Oracle isn't always forthcoming in what she's trying to say." Taehyung could hear rustling on the other side of the line as if Amaris were settling down on her couch. "So I was thinking maybe the date didn't have to do with the mugging. What if something related to our-- your case is going to happen today? What if that's what she was trying to tell us? It's still too early for the killings to start, but what if something that could help us solve that puzzle orb is coming? I don't know, maybe I'm just too much in my head, but she wouldn't have shown me that date if it wasn't important in some way. Tell me I'm not crazy?"

"No, I've been thinking about what that date meant ever since the dead guy showed up earlier than anticipated," Taehyung replied. He too had been thinking if the date from Amaris' dream could hint to a much needed break in his cold case.

"So what do we do?" Amaris asked.

"All we can do is wait, really," Taehyung sighed. He didn't like it, but he knew when it came to the Oracle he had no control. All he could do was wait and see how things played out.

"I don't like waiting," Amaris said after a moment of silence. "What if something bad happens?"

"Then it was out of our control," Taehyung comforted. "There's not much we can do with just a date. We don't have a time or a place or any information. All we can do is wait and see."

"Somehow exactly what I want to hear isn't what I want to hear," Amaris exhaled in a sad laugh.

"Listen, how about I pick you up once the sun actually comes up and we can go out for the day. I'll keep you distracted so you don't have to sit in your thoughts all day, and that way we'll be together already if anything related to the case happens," Taehyung offered.  

"That sounds nice. When can I expect you?" Amaris asked and Taehyung could picture her soft smile.

"How does ten sound?" Taehyung asked.

"Perfect."

"Then try to get some sleep, I'll see you soon."


Taehyung was quite proud of himself for the day he had planned out for Amaris. They would start with a drive to a nearby lake where they would enjoy the picnic lunch that he had tucked away in his trunk. After that, they could spend the day on the pier skipping stones and talking about whatever came to mind. He was hyperaware of the fact that this was very much like a date, but Taehyung reminded himself that this was for Amaris' benefit. This was to keep her distracted from worrying that something bad would happen on this day. 

"It's for her, not me," he reminded himself one last time before stepping out of his car and walking to Amaris' front door.

Before he could even make it to the front steps, the door was swinging open and Amaris practically ran out of her home. 

"Woah there," Taehyung laughed. "That eager to get out?"

"I have been sitting by the window counting the number of spines on my cactus trying to distract myself." Amaris looked down at her hands that she was clenching and unclenching into fists. "I'm going crazy here, just take me away already."

"Alright, well let's get going then." Taehyung smiled. "Got any music you want to blast and sing along to?"

"I thought you hated when I did that." Amaris looked up at him as he opened the car door for her. "You always told me I would make you deaf with my terrible singing and the out of control volume."

"Well, I'm willing to make an exception today," Taehyung said as he climbed into the car. "I mean I didn't go deaf all those years ago, what's one car ride going to do to my eardrums?"

Amaris smiled and Taehyung was greatful that his efforts weren't going to waste. Even thought when they were first reunited all Taehyung had was pain, he couldn't ignore that much of him still cared deeply for Amaris. She had been his best friend, his confidant. They were thick as thieves back in the day and he had loved her-- no amount of time apart or anger or hurt could erase that.

And so Taehyung let Amaris sing her heart out to her favorite songs as he drove them away from their thoughts. He let her belt high notes she most certainly couldn't reach until her voice was hoarse and her mind was clearly distracted. And by the time they reached the lake, Taehyung wasn't sure Amaris still needed him to distract her.

"Are you hungry?" Taehyung asked as he pulled out the picnic basket he had prepared.

"Famished," Amaris replied, settling herself down at a bench where they could see over the whole lake.

"Well, I've got peanut butter and jelly, corn chowder, potato salad, and cookies here among other things." Taehyung plopped the basket down and took out the items one by one.

"What an odd array of foods," Amaris noted as she opened a container of cherry tomatos and popped one in .

"I just made what first came to mind and then grabbed whatever else I had lying around," Taehyung laughed sheepishly. "I was just throwing things together, I didn't even stop to think if they made sense."

"You made all this for me?" Amaris asked, her voice changing and her features softening to something Taehyung didn't recognize. He had never heard or seen her like this, and he wasn't sure what to think.

"I- yeah, I wanted to." Taehyung nodded, taken off guard by the change in Amaris.

"Thank you." She smiled. "You're very kind."

"You know me," Taehyung laughed nervously, "'kind' is my middle name."

"You don't have a middle name, Tae," Amaris giggled, catching Taehyung off guard once more calling him by the old nickname she had had for him.

The two of them devoured the foor Taehyung had prepared and he marveled at how much Amaris was able to eat. They laughed and talked about their old shenannigans, and Taehyung hoped that his distraction was working. He was also thankful he had an excuse to take Amaris out like this. Even though they had been reunited, the two of them hadn't really had any opportunity to reconnect. They didn't get to talk about their memories together- or at least the ones that weren't painful- and they didn't get the chance to just be friends again. Taehyung knew that his presence reminded Amaris of who she used to be, but he felt that maybe someone who knew and loved both versions of her could help the person Amaris had become.

"Something's the matter," Taehyung said when he noticed the strange way Amaris was looking at the lake as they sat on the pier.

"It's the Oracle...again." Amaris kicked her bare feet, letting them graze the surface of the water.

"Has she said anything?" Taehyung leaned forward to look at Amaris' face, trying to catch a glimpse of what she was thinking.

"No." Amaris shook her head. "And that's the problem."

"I don't think I follow." Taehyung frowned.

"For the past decade, it's been two people up in my melon. Two voices, two thoughts, two views," Amaris began, looking down at her hands folded in her lap. "And at first it was so loud, so unbearable to have someone else there. But now that she's gone silent, I don't know what to do with myself. It's so lonely now with just me. I feel like I'm just rattling away in my own head, so used to making room for someone else. And I keep searching for her and trying to find her, but there's nothing. And I'm so angry that I'm so codependent on this voice in my head."

"I dont' think you're codependent." Taehyung shook his head. "I think it's a little bit like phantom limb pain."

"Phantom what?" It was Amaris' turn to frown in confusion.

"I had it for a while when I lost my leg," Taehyung explained. "It's like feeling an itch in my foot even though I don't have that foot anymore. My brain didn't quite get the memo that there was no leg anymore."

"That doesn't sound real, Taehyung." Amaris shot him a halfhearted teasing smile.

"Well, a doctor or psychologist could explain it much better," Taehyung laughed, "all I know is a foot I don't have itched even though it wasn't there. And maybe that's what it's like right now with the Oracle going quiet. It's like you can feel this thing that's not there anymore and then when you realize it's not actually there you get disappointed and you feel that loss all over again."

"Taehyung..." Amaris whispered. "I'm afraid of losing her. I'm afraid of..."

"Afraid of what?" Taehyung asked.

"Afraid of being ordinary again," Amaris said, a strange look between disappointment and pain passing through her features.

"Amaris, understand one thing." Taehyung grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "You are not, nor have you ever been ordinary. Do you think the Oracle would have just some regular old girl as her vessel? You were always special, with or without the Oracle."

"Taehyung, the Oracle is the only reason we ever met again. You only came to me because you needed the Oracle. You didn't need me, you needed her." Amaris shook her head.

"But remember the Oracle is also the only reason we were apart," Taehyung said. "If the Oracle had never chosen you and we had never been separated, you would have been my rock. I would have come to you for help on all my difficult cases. Hell, maybe even both of us would have ended up detectives and worked together."

"How do you say that with such certainty?" Amaris laughed sadly. "I'm the one here with future vision and yet you seem to have all the confidence in your conjectures."

"Well-" Taehyung began, but was interrupted by his phone beeping.

He pulled it out to look at a message from his boss. As he read on, his expression darkened and he could feel Amaris watching him worriedly.

"Something wrong?" She asked once he was finished reading.

"We have to go to the station," he said. "Now."

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Lovex2254
Been over half a year but I'm back! I hope you enjoy the much needed update and I hope to bring more of Amaris and Taehyung to you soon!

Comments

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Jooahloves
#1
The last comment was 2017...

Why am I so late to read these stories~ lol
So... when are you updating..??
july-pupetta #2
Chapter 15: hiii i recently found this story and i just wanted to say that i love it, it's very interesting :D
i really like your writing style and how you wrote the characters feeling . I love love Amaris and Tae interactions :D.
i'm looking forward to your next update :D
niangniang
#3
Chapter 16: whoa whoa, you just left me hanging there! DD: i cannot waiiiiiit and yet i shall~ this was really cute tbh and i love how theyre slowly rekindling their friendship to be as wonderful as before but mature enough to accept each other's new differences :3 now im craving pb and j lolol

i'll be happily and patiently looking forward to the next chapter! ^^
Kyungsoos_yoghurt #4
Chapter 16: Ahh I can't wait till the next chapter already ;A; I'm falling in love with these characters more and more
Pandaa_tao
#5
Hi I really love reading this story and decided to recommend it, I hope you don't mind ...

Please let me know if you want it to be taken down..

Here's the link :
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1143656/14/of-golden-fics-the-reccomended-exo-luhan-baekhyun-recommendations-bts-jungkook-taehyung
niangniang
#6
Chapter 15: this was a really great chapter! i loved how well their character traits were displayed here and it made me easily feel friendly with them once again after not having read about taehyung and amaris for a while ^^
oh and btw, i think your writing skills in this chapter have shown improvement~ i mean, your writing was already great to begin with but this chapter was so visually vivid that i almost felt like i was watching a film for a moment there >3< keep up the good work :DD
aishimasu
#7
Chapter 15: it's been forever! i need to reread this. hwaiting, author-nim!!!
niangniang
#8
no way... an update! ah, what a wonderful surprise :D cant wait to read it~
bymnaa #9
Chapter 14: I love everything about this story ... but cant the updates get any faster :/