Jonghyun’s POV

It’s been a while since the last time I entered the room. The shared bedroom of Minho and Taemin. It used to be my favorite loafing place.

But I stopped entering it. Since last month.

Not because I hate it, or because I don’t want to.

Because I was scared. Scared of getting hurt.  

It was just too hurtful to be in it. To watch all the things left. To smell the familiar smell of Taemin. The photos of him smiling happily on the walls. To see his belonging everywhere in there.

The memories of him.

It just hurts too much. Too much for me to handle.

So I avoid it, as much as I can. I stop any jokes that I shared and keep the tease I used to play with the maknae, just to prevent myself from missing him. I avoid anything or anywhere that could remind me of him. His room reminds me of him the most and I feared it.

But not anymore.

I don’t fear it anymore, or afraid of getting hurts. I’m just confused.

I watch Minho’s sleeping face as I walk closer to him. He looks so tired. And sad. And lost…

Minho..

He’d been crying. And he still is.

I wipe the trails of tears off his cheeks. His skin somehow feels some kind of cold. Something that doesn’t fit him at all. He always warms. Cold doesn’t fit him.

I placed my palms on his cheeks, trying to give the temperature he used to be. He stopped crying.

“Taemin..”

Not.

The warm liquid turn cold in a second after it makes a contact with my hand. I tried to smile, though I know it’s no use since my own eyes starts to get blurry.

He must be dreaming about that kid. Again.

Just like yesterday. Or like last week. Like every day since the accident happens.

Are you that hurt Choi Minho?

He is. Though he didn’t show it, I know. He might success in hiding it from the other but not me. I see it. He cried to sleep, he cried in his sleep. His banged sore eyes.

He misses Taemin more than I do.

More than Key or Onew does.

I admire him, for being able to control himself in front of us, just so we didn’t falls apart. Apart from we already is. I admire him for being able to cope up with it, though he had to face it everyday, smelling the scent left from the boy, looking through the photos of the boy, touching the things belongs to the boy, wake up and go to sleep with the memories of the boy.

He could just move into Onew’s room, or mine, but he refused to.

I admire him for being strong enough to handle the great impact. I don’t think I will be able to manage it like he did if I was in his place. I’m pretty sure about it.

If it was Key who left, I might never let myself smile again.

But Minho is different. He keeps on smiling, so we won’t lose hopes, so we won’t collapse.

Though he too, is starting to lose his hopes.

I admire him for being mature than any of us.

Something soft flow on my cheek and I wipe it off.

I can’t cry now, not now, not in front of Minho.

I slowly remove the blanket off his body and notice the frame he was holding tightly in his chest, hidden behind his knees. Tears threaten to fall again but this time I win. I fold the blanket nicely before placing it on its original place. Taemin’s bed.

“Minho..”

I shakes him gently, trying my best to put the brightest smile I could when he start fluttering his eyes.

“Umm hum.. Jonghyun hyung..”

He rubs his eyes and I realize that behind those masks he tried to shows us, to protect us, he is still a kid.

“Dinner’s ready..”

He stays there, blinking his eyes for a while before finally remove the frame from his chest and placed it on the table beside. I saw him staring at the picture for a while before follows my steps. I swear.

Onew, Key and Taemin had already in their position at the dining table when we came. I placed myself at my usual seat, beside Key.

I eyes the food served on the table. There’s fried chicken, salad with chicken popcorns, meat, kimchi, fish, more, more and more.

Wow. Key hasn’t cooked this much before. Is he trying to choke us to death?

I feel someone nudge me and saw Key glaring at me.

Wait, don’t tell me he can read my mind right now.

“What are you waiting for? Say your pray before Onew turns to cannibal!”

He didn’t. Phew~

So the dinner going fine. I saw the look in Onew’s eyes when Key placed the chicken on Taemin’s plate and decide to play along.

“Gomawo hyung~”

Aish.. I still can’t believe it.. he sound so real.. act so real to…

As if nothing happens..

As if it was all a dream..

Is it?

I lean forward to pinch him, just to make sure that I’m not imagining thing. He pouts. And winch his nose. Like always.

He feels real.

Oh god.. This can’t be real, right?

Unless if it was another Lee Taemin.

Because our Lee Taemin.. had left us..

Because our Lee Taemin.. is dead.

But who is this kid in front of me? He looks so much like Lee Taemin. Our Lee Taemin. He acts like one too. Those eyes, those expressions.. who is he?

He can’t be a ghost or Key would already freaks out right now. Aren’t you Key?

I poked Key and suddenly my tongue tied when I saw his face. He had that smile again. The smile that haven’t meet the sunlight for such a long time. The natural happy one, not the forced one. I saw Onew hyung’s smile too. His bright smile.

It’s been long.. too long..

Should I ruin this? These?

Happiness was clear in their face, the things that this house lost and desperately need it back. I need it and mostly Minho needs it.

I think I shouldn’t. Whoever this Taemin is, he just brings the light back into this house.

I guessed I should just play along with it. For now..

So I smile.

“This feels like home..”

I said, after pausing for a while. He gave me another spoonful of veges, the outcome of what we did earlier.

“I don’t wish this to stop..”

He said. There’s a hint of fear in his voice and that’s enough for me to make a decision.

“Don’t worry.. It won’t..”

I’m not going to let him sad. I’m not going to grab that smile away. Not from me at least.

“Minho hyung.. Are you that sleepy?”

Taemin’s question make me realize one thing that I should be worry about. Minho. I eyes him momentary as he look at Taemin. I’m sure that this is the first time after such a long time since the last time my heart beating this fast.

He stared at Taemin for quite a while. And then he smile. I let out a silent relief. I glad he was sleepy for now. Or else his eyes might burst out in disbelieve.

I know, different from the others, he would freak out once he saw Taemin. Alive.

Key and Onew had already handle too much of it, which I believe they would dispute the truth. But Minho is different. No matter how much he wishes to believe, how much he tried to convince himself, how much he wishes that everything happened is nothing but a mere dream, he won’t.

Among all of us, Minho is always the rational one. The only sane one.

He won’t let emotions control him.

I hope he’s not going to change the way he is.

Though Onew and Key had already lost their consciousness, but I haven’t. I hope Minho won’t when he already in his clear mind. Because if he did, I might have to question my own sanity.

Because if he did, I might be one insane.

So, as promised, everything is reveals now. I know, it’s a bit sad to (me at least). So in this update u knows why Onew and Key acting like that and the reason for Minho’s expression. The dilemma of Jjong and why is he also, play with it too. On top of that, u also know the most important things here; Taemin’s death.

Sad? Mian.. Please don’t kill me.. I didn’t mean bad things to happen to Taemin but it is important. And besides, he is the main character in here. The reason why everything happens and what’s going to happen.

And if u were as confuse as Jjong, don’t worry, you should. Taemin is dead but there he is, alive and hyper. Who is he and why is he there, I won’t answer that. u have to read to know more bout it.. so, don’t u dare tounsubscribe!

I hope I don’t lose any subscriber till I finished writing this story.

p/s: notice the JongHo?? I told you I’ll put every pairing in.. so, any request???