Unlike any other time when he would normally pull her somewhere or playfully chuck something at her for not responding, he kept his gaze on her, seemingly determined to stay in their position until a satisfactory answer was received.  All silent pleas to end the awkwardness were shunned.  Every other sound synced with the sound of Kikwang's, Jihae's or both of their heartbeats.  They both knew, however, that it was up to Jihae to say or do something.  And of course, she did.

"I don't..." she finally blurted, unsure of what else to say to distract him.  Jihae swallowed slowly when Kikwang ignored her comment and moved his head to gently press his lips on the curve of her neck, smiling against it when she shivered under his tickling breath.  It was now a fact that keeping a straight face would be a personal struggle for her.  His chance had arrived.

Almost innocently, she blinked at him when two fingers were tucked under her chin to bring her face up.  Though she was sure that her face was burning, her poker face remained.  For once, she felt lost and could do nothing more but gaze back into Kikwang's sad, pleading eyes.

Without thinking, she placed a gentle hand on the side of his face.  When was the last time she'd felt like this?

Despite his growing happiness, the regretful smile remained on his face as he leaned forward to close the distance between their lips.

"As long as you're here now," he murmured softly as he captured them.

Jihae nodded unknowingly, feeling herself drown in his warmth and unable to fight anymore.  What did she have to lose?

Everything, she thought as the ice wall began to steady itself and bring back a bit of her control.  And it frustrated Kikwang so damn much that she couldn't relax.

The pressure he gave increased.  It was then that fear struck Jihae.  Every emotionless bit of the shell she built for herself would crack.  Every trained thought and feeling that she'd work to chain down in the pit somewhere inside of her would break free.  And when she was abandoned again, she'd be back at square one with no one to help her rebuild her wall.

Realizing this, Kikwang pulled away with her face cupped in his hands.  Anger, disappointment and borderline depression welled up inside of him and he couldn't tell which emotion he really wanted to show her, though he knew from her squirming that she had no intention of looking at him.

"You're a ing liar," he said suddenly, causing her to freeze.  He clenched his teeth for a split second when her eyes remained on the welcome mat.  "A liar, a fake, a coward, you're all of that and more."

This time, she glared at him and the way the words were almost spat in her face.  But where did her voice go when she needed to deny all of that for the sake of her pride?

The phone rang before either of them could say another word and, for once, Jihae was glad to have a phone call.

"Hello?"

With her left hand, she pushed lightly against Kikwang's chest to back him up.

A cough answered her on the other side and before she could ask, Junhyung slurred a quick, "When will you be home?"

He was drunk.  Drunk and depressed like a fool.  If only he could hear her scoffing in her thoughts at him.

"I don't know," she snapped.  But it was true.  Other than the fact that she was in Kikwang's home, she had no way of describing where she was.  She was never the type to be that observant of her surroundings during rides.

She quickly regretted glancing at Kikwang when their eyes met, and without warning, the phone was snatched from her hands.

"Sorry, Jihae is actually very busy with me, so if you don't mind, bye~," he said in a fake sing-song voice.

What was he doing? 

The phone was ed into her hands before she could even think about stopping him and she watched as his knuckles turned white from squeezing the black flip phone.

A strangled chuckle left his throat, surprising both of them.  If she didn't know better, she would have assumed that he was about to cry.

Jihae bit her lip and looked away before pushing him away even further.  "I'm leaving," she said when he merely stepped back. 

She couldn't stand be in the same room as him if he was going to glower at her like that.

After quickly grabbing her phone and closing the door after herself, a sigh of relief left .  There was, however, nothing she could do to relieve the strange tightening inside her chest.  Just a damn phase, she thought.

Walking home steadily was usually never one of the things that Jihae did even when she was at her boiling point of boredom, but without a single penny on her and only a choice between walking and asking Kikwang or Junhyung for a ride home, sore legs never seemed so blissful.  In fact, sore legs and damp hair from the drizzle seemed like the most rewarding sense of comfort she'd received in a long time.

At least it gave her time away from people.

The sky had darkened by the time her house with Junhyung came to view, and by then, she was ready to change out of her wet clothes and get some sleep.

Jihae thanked her good sense of direction as she silently opened the unlocked door and shuffled inside only to be greeted with the most overbearing stench of alcohol.

Despite working in a club, she could never bring herself to like the smell of alcohol or cigarettes. 

Without making a sound, she made her way to the window above the kitchen sink and stayed there, simply staring out and holding her hand out just enough to catch a few droplets of rain on the tips of her icy fingers.

It was only when her fingers were painfully pruny and the wind began to blast rain water in her face that she stopped.  It was time to get back to reality.

Speaking of cigarettes, she thought as she noted a dying orange glow in the dark.  She'd forgotten Junhyung for long enough.  It was time to go back to pretending.

"What have you done to yourself?" she whispered as soon as the sight of Junhyung sleeping with his shoes and work clothes on became clear under the light.

As if she wasn't disappointed enough from the alcohol and cigarettes, she had to see this pitiful side again.

He groaned and waved a bottle of wine as though sensing her presence in his sleep, and out of panic, Jihae lunged forward and grabbed the dark green bottle from him before it was dropped or thrown.

Three bottles of wine (two completely empty and one that was one-third gone when she saved it) and five cigarettes.  She frowned at the sight of them when the living room light was finally switched on, and without wasting another second, they became the trash can's meal.

Jihae sighed inwardly and wondered what Junhyung would do if he smoked regularly instead of just under stress.

A loud thud echoed from the bedroom and her legs instinctively brought her back to the bedroom where Junhyung was nowhere to be seen.