Jonghyun is looking at the small infant in his arms, the baby’s hands curling and uncurling around air. He’s smiling down at his daughter. When he looks to his wife in the bed, she avoids his gaze and looks at the wall. Jonghyun calls her name silently but it causes the girl in his arms to stir and he returns his attention to the miracle he holds. The wall clock is ticking as he observes his daughter and his wife ignores the both of them.

They enter their home the next day. Jonghyun tries handing their daughter over but his wife ignores them and places herself in the bed and pulls the blanket around her. Jonghyun just looks at her before he cradles the baby girl into his chest as she whimpers.

“Gwiboon,” he tries but the woman in the bed turns her back to him and says nothing.

Jonghyun raises their daughter as his wife falls into post-natal depression. Not once has she touched the girl Jonghyun has named Eunsook and no matter how hard he tries, she refuses to have anything to do with the child. Eunsook craves affection and Jonghyun is left with little time to himself as he does everything he can to give his wife the time she needs and his daughter the affection she deserves. He loses the friends he once had and his job as a composer gives little money when he can’t compose.



When he a year later finds Gwiboon in the shower, her body lifeless and vomit on the floor, he calls 119 but it’s too late. Jonghyun cries in the hospital when they tell him that they cannot save her and then he goes numb. His mother is watching Eunsook while he plans the funeral. Jonghyun has lost everything he once had and as he looks at his daughter, he sees his wife and wants to run away.
 

He doesn’t run away, however.

Instead he takes the 1-year-old toddler and carries her with him everywhere. Jonghyun loves Eunsook but he’s too numb and the sorrow of losing his wife is too deep and his love doesn’t shine through.

They rent an apartment in a shady neighbourhood for a lower rent and Jonghyun is forced to find a part-time job at the grocery store to be able to support them. Eunsook cries every night alongside her father and they share a pain that is indescribable to them both. She grows up to be a beautiful young girl and Jonghyun does his best to be there as the caring father he’s supposed to be but it’s so hard when the girl before him is the spitting image of the woman he lost 4 years ago.

Eunsook doesn’t know her mother is dead, it’s still too early to tell her and the pain is still too raw and Jonghyun can’t tell her. He bites his lower lip in the night to force the tears away and she sends him smiles in the daylight.



5-year-old Eunsook arrives home one day to tell her father that she really wants to dance, that there is nothing she enjoys more and that her friends’ mother has said she’s a good dancer. Jonghyun turns to look at his daughter before he lifts her into his lap and her long black hair.

“You can’t dance, sweetheart,” he says and Eunsook frowns.

“I can!”

She climbs from his lap and twirls in the middle of the living room floor, almost hitting the table and stumbling. She bows with a smile when she finishes and Jonghyun presses his lips together, his heart aching at the sight.

“Sook, daddy can’t pay for dancing lessons,” he tries and Eunsook sends him a smile.

“It’s okay daddy! Mrs. Cho will teach me!”

She’s standing on her tip-toes with wide puppy eyes, an act that is supposed to convince him that it’s okay, that she can learn dancing from Mrs. Cho, but Jonghyun doesn’t want her to dance. Gwiboon had been a dancer and the thought cuts into his chest as he looks at his daughter and shakes his head. He can’t have Eunsook dancing and resembling her mother in any more ways. He just wants to forget but how can he forget with Eunsook to keep him rooted to reality?

Eunsook’s lower lip starts wobbling and she sniffs a couple of times. Jonghyun reaches out to her, lifts her into his lap again and hopes his warmth can comfort the girl. Eunsook curls into her father’s chest and cries as she’s denied what she wants the most.



“Be good, sweetheart. Daddy will pick you up in 3 days,” Jonghyun tells 6-year-old Eunsook as he leaves her with his sister. Eunsook looks after him, clutching onto her aunt but the sadness shines in her eyes and the fear of being abandoned radiates off her. Jonghyun swallows the lump in his throat when he leaves his daughter behind.

He spends the next three days looking for another part-time job, hoping to find anything so he can continue to support his daughter because the rent is higher now and his income not nearly enough to support them. Eunsook doesn’t know and Jonghyun lends money from his mother every month so he can continue to feed her.

When he picks her up three days later, he has another job and less time to spend with his daughter but if it gives her what she needs to live, that’s all he wants. Eunsook bites her lower lip as she grabs his hand and tightens her grip to make sure she never loses her father again but it’s too late.



Eunsook sits in the living room with her notebook filled with drawings when Jonghyun arrives home from his shift at the restaurant. She’s supposed to be sleeping, but she can’t sleep. Jonghyun is barely awake when he steps inside but as he finds his daughter on the couch, his face tightens.

“Why are you awake?” he asks, voice tired and emotionless. Eunsook frowns a little.

“I couldn’t sleep. Dad, will you read me a bedtime story?”

They both know the answer to the question when Eunsook finishes, but she tries anyway, begs for him to notice the hug she needs and the affection she’s yearning for. Jonghyun just yawns.

“I’m tired Eunsook, go to sleep,” he says and turns around, walks towards the small bathroom they share. Eunsook turns around in the couch to glare at her father.

“You’re always tired! You never have time for me.”

It’s too late for the argument, but her frustration is too much for her to keep under control. Jonghyun just ignores her. Eunsook can feel the tears that fall down her cheeks but Jonghyun doesn’t come to comfort her like he had when she was younger. That night she takes a decision.

Jonghyun can’t find Eunsook the next morning and he spends majority of the day being distressed with his missing daughter. He doesn’t know where the 8-year-old has gone and the worry is gnawing at him, thoughts whispering what a bad father he has become and how little he deserves her. Jonghyun calls his mother but she hasn’t seen Eunsook. He doesn’t want to admit that she has run away and he has no idea why she has left to begin with but his mother sees through him.

When Sodam knocks on the door in the evening, Eunsook in tow, Jonghyun feels relief flood him. The hug that follows has both of them sobbing into each other. Eunsook needs the affection and Jonghyun realizes that he can’t lose the only thing he has. They cuddle on the worn leather couch and Jonghyun listens to Eunsook and the future is filled with promises of being better, being closer, being together.



Eunsook looks at the blackboard in class and then turns to look out of the window. Her friends are talking excitedly about Parent’s Day but Eunsook only feels a stone settle in her stomach. She knows her father won’t be able to join, he never is. It doesn’t matter what event the school creates. Eunsook knows he’s busy with his two jobs and that he works hard. That’s why she doesn’t make a fuss when he tells her he can’t bring her to school or pick her up.

She never complains and she never tells him that the road she has to walk to and from school scares her because she doesn’t want to make him feel guilty. Yet at the same time, she can’t help but wish for him to prioritize her. He keeps talking about the clothes he’ll get her or the food he’ll bring home but Eunsook doesn’t want clothes or delicious new food. All she wants is her father – and that is too much to ask for.

She crumbles the information paper up and buries it under her books, lets it stay as a forgotten memory.

Her teacher asks her a week later why her father hasn’t arrived and Eunsook sends her a small smile and tells her that he’s too busy. Eunsook knows that her teacher suspects that something is wrong when she asks to her mother instead of her father and Eunsook can’t give an answer because she doesn’t know anything about her mother.

She sinks into the couch when she comes home and pulls her knees to her chest. She hasn’t done any of her homework when Jonghyun arrives home from the grocery store. He’s going to leave in an hour for the restaurant but an hour is all she needs.

“Dad?” she asks and Jonghyun turns around with a cup of instant coffee in his hands. The dark circles beneath his eyes make him look sick. Eunsook looks towards the floor and bites her lower lip, not aware of how her question will be received. “Where’s mom?”

When she dares to look up Jonghyun’s lips are pressed together in a tight line.

“I’m sorry,” Eunsook whispers and Jonghyun doesn’t answer her initial question.



Their assignment is ‘what do you want to be when you grow up’. Eunsook is in second grade and her classmates are talking about grand dreams. One wants to be a fire fighter while