"If I had the guts, I would tell you in person." - AM Kidd

Stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Chaejin repeated the demeaning word in his mind over and over again, hoping that it would make him suffer as much as he knew Seyong was from the way the maknae had left him. Chaejin felt alone. After tonight, he was sure that Seyong would give up on him, and he'd be truly alone. How could he be so foolish as to give up such a great person? Punching the pillow in frustration, tears welled up in the maknae's eyes, blurring his vision to the point where he thought he could see the handsome red head smiling at him. "Why was I so idiotic?" Chaejin whimpered.

No, it wasn't stupidity that kept Chaejin back, and he knew well of it. It was fear. Fear of the other members' reactions, fear of the fans, he was scared of how everyone would think of his relationship with his hyung. In fact, he was also afraid that his hyung would grow tired of him and leave. The maknae had seen the way Seyong acted around the rest of MYNAME, and even some of the staff noonas. Whenever he saw this, a flare of jealousy rose up in him that could only be calmed by an even more affectionate gesture of Seyong to him. Chaejin wanted Seyong to belong to him, and only him.  He hid his feelings behind a mask when facing the world, but when he was alone, it cracked dreadfully fast, and he was left with the thoughts of him in Seyong's arms, laughing, smiling, kissing--

At the surfacing of these thoughts, the maknae pounded the pillow once more and hid his reddened, damp eyes so that only he would know of the conflicting thoughts that raced through his young mind. Why couldn't this be easy for him? Why couldn't he just run up to Seyong and confess? Even the maknae could not answer these questions, and with tears in his eyes, he drifted off into a restless sleep.

The next few days proved to be as how Chaejin predicted: awkward. The red headed hyung often avoided eye contact with Chaejin, the one who he used to be the closest to, only speaking when asked a question. No one was brave enough to question why the two members were in such a slump, which only prolonged the silent treatment.

Finally, the quiet separation ended when the idols were practicing their choreography, and JunQ asked Insoo to help go pick up the food that they planned to eat that evening, and Gunwoo was pulled away by a manager to discuss the future plans. The three left Seyong and Chaejin in the studio, with the tension at its highest level. After several minutes of not looking at each other or speaking, Seyong finally spoke up. "Well, we might as well keep practicing. Wouldn't want the others to call us lazy, right?" he joked.

"Y-yeah, haha," Chaejin sheepishly replied, and turned the song back on from the beginning. 

When the music started playing, the two took their positions, and let the beat sweep through their bodies. They moved fluidly, as if the moves were embedded in their minds ever since they were born. After concentrating on the rhythm so much, Chaejin had left behind the issue that had been bothering him so much and only focused on how well they were dancing and how Seyong looked so nice when he was into a dance. The slightest bit of sweat glistened on the red head's forehead, and his tongue stuck out when they reached a part that required even more concentration. Chaejin couldn't take his eyes off his hyung in awe, and he saw his dream coming closer, and closer, and- thud!

Collapsing in a mass of limbs and grunts of pain, the two very confused idols opened their eyes to a rather awkward position. Chaejin was lying on the floor, with Seyong pinning him down with his weight. When trying to get up, Seyong's hips grinded against the maknae's, only succeeding in making the situation even worse, as Chaejin's face reddened by the second. He had to do something, and fast.

"Hyung, get off!" the maknae yelped, pushing Seyong off with all his strength. Whoops, wrong choice.

"What's your problem?" Seyong returned, "You were the one who ran into me!"

"T-that's because you were doing the moves wrong and backed up into me!"

"Ugh, I was doing the exact same thing that I was taught ever since we started dancing to 'Message'. And I stay consistent, unlike a certain SOMEONE."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"You know EXACTLY what I mean. This whole time, you've been having such mood swings! One second, you'd be okay with me hugging you, the next, you're pushing me away! I don't even know WHAT to think anymore. Bah, I'm gonna go get some water and rest. I'm not really up for any more practice," Seyong concluded, storming out of the studio leaving Chaejin still lying on the floor.

Alone, he was all alone. The familiar tears filled up his eyes. Why couldn't he just do anything right? Why couldn't he say the thing that would make the both of them happy? Knowing fully well that the red head was long gone, Chaejin still called out to the doorway.

"P-please..come back. I-i love you."

- - -

GAAH, I haven't updated in forever. ;AAAAA;; 
Things have been so busy for me, whether it was schoolwork or hosting a student from Japan. My schedule has been CRAMMED, and I haven't gotten a chance to check AF in forever. So I hope this makes up for it a little. I made it in sort of Chaejin's POV. And things don't seem to be turning out well for the two of them. At least Jinnie's acknowleged his feelings. We'll have to see what happens next~ Hope you continue to check up on this story, even though I'm probably a horrible writer for leaving you hanging for a while. ;u;