I saw Jungkook sift in his wheelchair and I stood still. I didn’t move. I saw his eyes open and grow wide as I smiled at him. He immediately woke up Jin hyung. “HYUNG! HYUNG! HE’S AWAKE!”

    Jin woke up and stared intensely at me like it was just a dream. All of a sudden he flew out of his chair and went to go get a nurse. I looked back at Jungkook and his eyes were glazed over.

“Hyung… I thought you were going to die… Why did you do it?” His voice cracked as my heart cracked. I didn’t know what to say. Even though my voice was hoarse, I tried to talk. “I don’t know. But I want to live now…” Jungkook smiled and I smiled. But then I remembered what I saw when I was “dead?” I panicked and asked in a rush, “Show me your wrists?!” Jungkook’s smile fell. He looked scared and fragile. What I saw was the truth. I reached out for his wrists and I knew from his defeat that he did indeed self harm. Tears came to my eyes as I asked, “Why would you do this to yourself?”

“I deserved it. I didn’t save you in time. It’s been 3 months! If I acted faster, I could’ve saved you. The doctors said you wouldn’t make it which made me even more mad. It was all my fault…”

“No, no, it wasn’t your fault! I chose to do it. I made that decision not you. You didn’t force me to jump. It’s okay…”

Jin barged into the room with a doctor and a nurse. The doctor came up to me and checked my vitals. “Mr. Kim. You were in a coma for 3 months. It was a result from a suicide attempt. You lost a lot of blood, water filled your lungs, and your stomach were filled with pills. We honestly did not think you would make it. You are one lucky man. We will run some tests soon, so please rest.”

I nodded and they left the room. Jin rushed over to my side and talked so fast that my brain could barely process it. “How are you? Are you hurt? Do you need help? Are you comfortable?”

“Hyung, stop. I’m fine. But what happened to Jungkook?” Jungkook stared at the ground as Jin sighed.

“He got hit by a car again. But the weird thing is that, he didn’t get as hurt as he should've, according to the doctor. It was basically a miracle.”

“No way…”

“Yeah, they said he’d be up and running by next week.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah. Let me call the other members. They were worrying so much. I’m so glad you’re back, Taehyung.”

“Yeah, I missed you guys.” Jin left the room to call the others. I saw Jungkook staring at the ground while picking at his fingers. I called out his name and told him to come near me. My heart shattered when I saw him roll his wheelchair over to me. He didn’t deserve that. “What hyung?”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t stay and protect you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I should’ve stayed and helped you. It was my fault you started cutting. I’m sorry.”

“Hyung, you have nothing to be sorry for. It was all my fault. I’m the one who started. Just let’s leave this behind and just start fresh.”

“I’m cool with that.”

“Same here, hyung.”

“Sorry to ruin the moment.” Yoongi hyung and Hoseok hyung stared at us from the door. I smiled my typical rectangular smile and beckoned them to come in. Yoongi hyung immediately hugged me as he came in.

“Hi, Yoongi hyung.”

“How are you? Are you okay? I’m sorry for everything…”

“Hyung, it’s cool. I’m okay.”

“Thank God. I was so scared that you weren’t going to make it.” Yoongi hyung started to tear up which made me feel bad.

“I'm alive now, so don't cry. I'm not going to die that easily.” That's when Hoseok hyung started to cry.

“I thought that you were going to die. I'm glad I'm wrong.”

“Same here hyung.” I'm so happy that I survived. I realized how much I hurt the members. But then again a tinge of negativity came across my mind. It was them who made me hurt this bad. I tried to wipe away the thoughts as the rest of the members came into my room. I saw Jimin hyung just stop at the door. His face was just dark. I knew he felt guilty for everything. Even though he had done many terrible things, I just could not stay mad at him. He’s a part of my family and I can’t stay mad at any of them. I spoke up while looking at all of the members in the room. “Hey guys. I know I made a stupid mistake, but I’ll be honest. It was the best choice available at the time. I really hated myself and thought that there would be no where else to escape to.” I started to choke up on my words, but I kept on going. “I just want to say that I forgive all of you. You guys are my family. You guys were there for me and I was thankful. I am so glad that I’m in BTS with all of you. I’m happy that I’m alive. I’m really happy.” I started to cry as I look at all of the members. They had tears in their eyes as well. I smiled my regular smile as I see everyone together. This is why I came back. Just for them.