I wonder if I look lost. I feel so free and lost. I try to shake these things out of my mind, but it doesn’t seem to go away. Feeling lost as a sheep, I make my way to Yoongi hyung. I walk out from Namjoon’s composing room and go into the city. It was raining, yet I couldn’t feel it. I keep forgetting that I’m dead. Does that mean I’m regretting my death? No. That can’t be it. All these thoughts are making my head reel. I walk faster, then stop in the middle of the road. Everything seems to move slowly as I stand there. I realized that even if I die, the world keeps on moving. Of course it’s obvious, but I haven’t really dwelt on that fact yet. It seems weird. I stay there for a while. Just thinking. Nothing else. Then I remind myself that I have to go check up on Yoongi.

I go to his room in the dorm. I didn’t want to see anyone else, so I just teleported over there. The other members will get their turns soon. Yoongi hyung was just lying there on the bed. He looked so miserable. He held the camera close to his chest and listened to music from the headphones I got him. I suddenly felt a pain in my chest. It burned so bad. I clutched my chest as I saw my very own hyung slowly breaking. I couldn’t believe the pain that I caused him. I grabbed my wrist as it was burning. I just couldn’t look at him. Yoongi just didn’t seem like he was living. I laid down next to him. I looked at the ceiling, thinking about the life I could’ve lived.

I laid there for a while until Yoongi hyung got up. I followed him to see him look at the pictures we had together. He had tears in his eyes and he left the room. I didn’t follow him because I felt as if I couldn’t move. I stayed there until he came back with a plate of food. I smiled at him because he was eating. I was scared since he looked so skinny and weak. He sat himself down at his desk and began to eat. He still had his headphones on. Curious, I listened to it with him. Being a spirit had it’s perks. This was one of them. Being able to listen to things without much work. Anyways, I listen carefully to hear the song.

My legs are dangling off the edge,

The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,

I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone.

My legs are dangling off the edge,

A stomach full of pills didn't work again,

I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone.

Gone too far and yeah, I'm gone again,

It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends,

I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends,

One's a bottle of pills, one's a bottle of gin,

I'm 20 stories up, yeah, I'm up at the top,

I'll polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off,

Asphalt to me has never looked so soft,

I bet my mamma found my letter, now she's calling the cops,

I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it,

'Cause now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance,

Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent,

'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is,

I've been trying too long, with too dull of a knife,

But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice,

I never bought a suit before in my life,

But when you go to meet God, you know you wanna look nice.

So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.

My legs are dangling off the edge,

The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,

I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone,

My legs are dangling off the edge,

A stomach full of pills didn't work again,

I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone.

We hit the sky, there goes the light, no more sun, why's it always night?

When you can't sleep, well, you can't dream,

When you can't dream, well, what's life mean?

We feel a little pity, but don't empathize

The old are getting older, watch a young man die,

A Mother and a Son and someone you know, smile at each other and realize you don't,

You don't know what happened to that kid you raised,

What happened to the Father, who swore he'd stay?

I didn't know 'cause you didn't say,

Now Mamma feels guilt, yeah, Mamma feels pain,

When you were young, you never thought you'd die,

Found that you could but too scared to try,

You looked in the mirror and you said goodbye,

Climb to the roof to see if you could fly.

So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.

My legs are dangling off the edge,

The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,

I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone,

My legs are dangling off the edge,

A stomach full of pills didn't work again,

I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone.

I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky,

Like a bird so high,

Oh I might just try,

I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky,

Like a bird so high,

Oh I might just try,

Oh I might just try.

This was really weird to listen to. It sounded so happy for talking about a depressing topic. Why would Yoongi hyung listen to this though? No… He couldn’t be thinking about it, right? Hoping my thoughts were wrong, I looked at Yoongi’s eyes. I couldn’t bare to look at them. It was filled of pain and sorrow. I put my hand on top of his hand. I stared at him and whispered, “You can’t make the same mistake, okay? Just think of me as something terrible. Don’t feel sad for me. Please, I beg you…” I blinked back my own tears and stared at the floor. “Yoongi hyung. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid, okay? You promised…” As if it was on cue, Yoongi hyung nodded his head. I was smiling through the tears I couldn’t hold back. “You promised.” I walked to the door and looked back to Yoongi hyung. “Please stay safe.” I vanished back to the sky above. It was too much to visit my members. It hurt too much. They were caring about me too much. My heart is slowly changing. Why did I choose to commit suicide? I could’ve lived...

Hello author here ^^ I AM REALLY SORRY FOR BEING ON A UNNOTICED HIATUS. I really just had so much homework, after school activities, and stuff. I tried to update, but I couldn't T.T Anyways, I'm really sorry. ALSO WE HAVE 100 SUBBIES!!! AND OVER 1000 VIEWS!!! I LOVE YALL SO MUCH LOLOL!!! Anyways, keep on loving this story and I'll try to update more often and if I can't I hope you understand. I LOVE YOU ALL <3333 

P.S The song is called Bullet written by Hollywood Undead. Link to video is here ^^ BAII