This is the 2nd update in a row, so if you haven't read the 4th chapter, go read that ^^

The butterfly flew off, but I was in front of the member that cared so much about me. He looked so weak. He had dark circles that seemed to droop down to his cheek bones, red bloodshot eyes, messy hair, dark clothes, and overall it seemed as if he wasn’t eating properly. He practically looked like a stick. He walked right past through me and to be completely truthful, it hurt. It hurt like hell. I know I’m dead and it’s inevitable that he can’t see me and can't touch me, but I want him to see me and touch me. The things that I seemed to take for granted, haunts me. I heart sank as I saw him walk away towards the dorm.

    I followed him all the way to the dorms. Jin hyung greeted him with a smile, but when I looked closer, that smile was just hiding pain. Jin hyung asked Jungkook, “Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something?”

    “No thanks hyung. I’m not really hungry.”

    “Jungkook, you haven’t been eating properly for more than 5 days. Please eat something.”

    “Hyung I’m not hungry-”

    “Please just eat something. I’m worried about you.”

    “I can’t eat. He can’t eat, so how can I eat. How dare I eat when he can’t? How can I feel comfortable with eating when he can’t? In fact, I’m not comfortable breathing when he can’t anymore. I just can’t!” Jungkook ran off into his room and locked his doors shut.

    I was so scared of what Jungkook was becoming. He looked like a mess and he seems like someone I never knew. I hurriedly walked through the door to see him freaking out.

    “V hyung is dead. V hyung is dead. He is dead. If someone is dead, then they can’t sleep, eat, breathe, live. I shouldn’t be doing anything he can’t do, yet I am. I’m so sorry hyung. I don’t mean to do this.” Jungkook says as he is crazily pacing the room. His voice is shaky as he speaks the words that I dreaded to hear. “I need to cut.”

    I physically couldn’t feel anything. I was so shocked by his words. “I couldn’t have caused this right? He is not supposed to care. He’s supposed to act like nothing happened. No, he can’t do this. I need to stop him, but I can’t.” I tried to grab Jungkook’s arm, but it slipped through my fingers like water. He took off his hoodie and I could his wrist. I gasped at the sight. It was all cut up and swollen. I could feel my throat burning, my tears threatening to spill at any moment. I needed to stop him. I desperately tried to grab his arm to stop him. It didn’t work. I tried wrapping my arms around his torso, so he couldn’t go get his weapon, but it was no use. I am dead. I am not capable of doing things that the living can do.

    I saw him walk to his desk and pull out one of many weapons in his drawer. I trembled in terror as I saw the craving of pain in his eyes. “V hyung. Is this how you felt when you cut? Did you want to escape from the pain that seemed to slash at your heart?” He pulled his hand across his wrist as I yelled to escape from the horrific picture that was on display for me to see. I saw the beads of red that showed up soon after the swift motion of his hand. This was just too much for me. I want to escape. I need to escape. I want to be alive. I need to be alive. Why can’t I be alive? I need to save Jungkook from the dark hole he’s about to spiral into.

    Jungkook stopped hacking at his wrist after a few minutes. I saw him wince as he cleaned and put bandages on his cut. I felt my cuts burn as I watched him in pain. He laid on his bed and I laid down with him. He stared at the ceiling for a while until he finally spoke. “Hyung. How is it up there? Are you doing okay? I’m missing you down here…” I saw the tears roll down his face as I replied, “Ha. I’m actually down here. I’m not doing so well. I miss you guys too much to be okay. I really miss you Jungkook. I really do.”

    All of a sudden, the door busted open to reveal a worried Jin by the door. “Jungkook. I know that you’re not okay. Please tell me that you’re not doing what V did. Please…” Jungkook just stared at the floor. “No, no, no. Please you need to stop. Please, I beg of you. I can’t lose another one of the members. You guys are my everything. You guys can’t die without me. So please stop Jungkook,” Jin pleaded. “Show me your arm.”

    “No! You don’t need to see…” Jungkook held his arm close to his chest.

    “Please, just show me. I can’t lose you too.” Jungkook was filled with guilt and reluctantly showed Jin his arm. “Holy Jungkook. You need to get these stitched up.”

    “No I don’t.”

    “Jungkook, you need to get stitches.”

    “If V hyung didn’t get them, then I don’t have too.”

    “Jungkook, it’s what V would have wanted you to do.”

  Jungkook stayed silent for a while until his soft voice spoke. “You’re not telling the other members, right?”

  “I am telling them-”

  “You can’t do that!”

  “Jungkook, I said that I am not going to lose you too. Don’t make me repeat what I said.”

Jungkook stayed silent and still as Jin stood up to go call the others to meet at the dorm. I watched the whole scene unveil in front of me and I was dazed. I was speechless. Who knew that I had such an impact on everyone? I thought that they wouldn’t miss me at all, but they clearly do. They weren’t supposed to be hurt. It was just only me who deserved to be hurt. Not them. I slumped onto the floor of Jungkook’s room as I waited for all the members to come.

Hello me again. I just wanted to update again because I love you all. Thank you for everything. And thank you for reading this story. As you can see, the story is close to the end. Yes, I will write more stories and yes, they will probably be all about depression and self harm because it helps me get it out of system. My next story will be about *Drum roll please* BTS cause I love those dorks so much. This story will be very different. This story will be different on your choices. You get to decide the outcome :) I plan on getting a coauthor, so if anyone wants to help, please PM me ^^ It will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for everything and please wait until the next chapter comes out. Thank you very much.

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