“Coldest ashes” His gaze was wrapped with tension; he bit his lower lip and looked away from me. He is avoiding his possible breakdown. I suddenly felt that we were riding the same boat all along. We were invested; I’m not the only one who did not move on. He let out a deep sigh as he started to narrate what happened that day.

I will listen. I will not interrupt him in the middle of his chance to make it clear to me. He waited 7 years too. I should be fair right now that I can also feel the same gush of agony reflecting on his eyes.

“For about 7 years, I am not here to tell you a fabricated excuse why I was not able to be with you. I was on my way riding a taxi when I got lost since the driver is not familiar with the location. Frustration got the best of me and left the cab in haste, I thought running to where you are might be the best thing to do. I was half way already; I didn’t skip any opportunity to ask from people who might know how to get here. It was the time when I realized that I dropped my mobile phone when I came out of the car.”

His thick brows were fused together while retelling the story to me. He wasn’t reasoning out, perhaps he is sorting his deep defeat, he was hopeless. Until this moment he too can’t accept our fate that day.

“I couldn’t even imagine how long you’ve waited but the moment I arrived here, they were already closed because of the heavy winter storm. My heart sank and head straight home to log in on Friendster and apologize to you only to find out that Friendster already transferred its server’s data. The worst thing was, my father decided to make our flight earlier than expected because he wouldn’t like us to get trapped with the nasty weather. It was one of the most desperate moments of my life. ” he stopped talking and looked at me with that unbearable pain in his eyes.

All of it perfectly made sense. This restaurant closed early that day because of the alarming level of heavy snow fall. I was forced to go home because there is no available place to stay at. I rushed in front of my computer to log in but – Friendster’s epic server data reconstruction deleted all of what could have saved us that day. I rang his phone several times but there was no answer at all. It was no one’s fault. It was tragic and I don’t still know how to accept it.

We did not know each other’s real name back then. All I have left with me was his lost phone’s unreachable number. We arrived to a very undesirable dead end; a very cruel fairy tale without a happy forever after.

“I know, a lot happened in between the moment we lost contact with each other but I did not give up. You’re the only one I need. I promised myself that no matter what, I will find you even if we are in front of all the impossibilities.” – Now I can tell that it was definitely him. BabyBird, never talked about giving up and I think, that was the same reason why I still waited for him.

He suddenly stood from his seat which made me flinch from where I am. He stepped towards my direction and knelt like he’s asking for a royal pardon to be given to him. People around us started staring with curiosity and I am on an edge of a sinking ship at this moment.

“I will do everything just give me one more chance.” His teary eyes are sending a surge of deadly bolts of lightning to my weak heart right now. I don’t know what to say.

“Junjin Oppa –” I stopped. It was awkward. I wanted to comfort him but it made me cringe.  Pronouncing his real name informally made me want to jump off a cliff. However, his face lightened with a smile of relief and I whispered loud enough for him to hear – “What the hell are you doing? Do you want me to punch you in the face to let you know that now we are even?”

 “That is so sweet.”Junjin whispered back to me like a heartthrob. He stood up immediately and looked at me with a fully satisfied glance.

Without any warnings, his wide arms stretched out and enveloped me close to him –

“I missed so much you AvisPhoenix.” I melted upon hearing those words and tears of joy started rolling down my cheeks. He tightened his embrace upon feeling my supressed sob. I missed him too.

 “7 years did not tarnish my reputation didn’t it? I knew you’ll say those exact same words. I can still remember our last conversation as if it was just yesterday when I asked you about this.” Junjin was unbelievable. I was moved.

Our conversation the day before our meet up years ago:

BabyBird: I am so excited for tomorrow!!!^^

AvisPhoenix: Please don’t expect too much from me okay?

BabyBird: Should I tell you how handsome I am? XDDD

AvisPhoenix: I’m not buying ~ remember that I hate to wait. Don’t be late! You’ll get punished for sure.

BabyBird: How will it be possible for you not to wait when you are coming earlier than I am? Should I kneel before you and ask for forgiveness if that happens?

AvisPhoenix: Just try to do that and I will punch your face!

BabyBird: : Let’s see if you can :P

We were thinking of the exact same thing. We laughed in sync without speaking a single word about it. We let out a sigh of letting go of the past together. He was a cry baby too after all. We did our best to recover. Life is too short for drama, but my heart is still aching because it’s been bruised in so many ways.

“You did a good job in staying where I left you but aren’t you going to ask me how I found you?” Junjin never left a piece of information slip on our first day and it hit me. We have loads of catching up to do. I am thankful that he is leading this conversation perfectly. He went back to his seat and my eyes are now fixed on him with absolute interest.

What could have brought him back to me?