chapter 2
AntifanSound of laughter filled Mir's heart a bit as a smile plastered on his lips. "So, Mir. How are you doing these days?" At Nicole's question, now, all eyes were on him.
Mir smiled nervously and shrugged, pretending he was okay. Again. Mir turned his eyes towards Jinwoon who was sitting next to him. "That's a nice shirt. Where did you buy it?"
Others didn't realize how Mir was obviously deflecting the question except for one. The one who had asked the question. Nicole. But, she didn't voice out her concern. Not now. She would find time alone with Mir later.
"This. Woah! You have got great eyes, my friend!" Jinwoon exclaimed happily as he slung his arm around Mir. "My fan gives this to me. Cool, right?"
Mir nodded at Jinwoon's remark but then his eyes looked distant. Fans... Was it wrong for him to let that hatred from antifans shadowed all the loves from his fans? Was it wrong to let love drowned in hatred? But he had tried already. Try to swim to the surface so he could breath but, the hatred just kept pulling him down, feeling his lungs with dark feelings.
"Stop boasting like you're the only one who have fans." Key intervened while clicking his tongue. "I have lots more fans than you." The brown hair boy smirked while cocking his brows.
"Yea right." Jinwoon leaned over the table so he was closer with Key who sat opposite to him. "I bet your fans don't have as good taste as my fans."
Key scoffed. "Oh come on. This kind of shirt, you can find it just by street. It look ridiculous on you." Key retaliated as he leaned over the table, imitating Jinwoon, engaging themselves into staring battle.
"Guys... Don't fight." Dongwoon pinched in, but got yelled on his face by both Jinwoon and Key.
"SHUT UP!"
So, Dongwoon shut his mouth by shoving his cheesecake into his mouth and pouted to himself.
"You see this? This is real fashion. My fans are much more fashionista than you." Key raised his hand to show a metal bracelet around his wrist.
"It look recycled." Jinwoon retorted and their war of who had better fans started and the others didn't really want to interfere. They knew better than to poke their nose in this fiery war.
"They might even fight about antifan one day." Woohyun commented while Dongwoon and Nicole nodded thoughtfully. "Like whose atifans are the cruelest or something." That made the others laughed except Mir.
Mir looked up to the three friends of his. "Hey..." He called the three, earning himself an undivided attention. "Do you guys know what kind of antifan you have?"
Those three exchanged a glance before Nicole tilted her head slightly and smiled cutely. "Hmmm... What kind, huh?" She repeated the question to herself, looking a bit clueless.
"How could we know..." Dongwoon admitted with a grin; agreeing with Nicole. He never really care enough to know about his antifans.
However, Woohyun had a knowing look on his face. "I have a few hard-to-handle-antifans actually."
"What kind?" Mir asked quickly, almost eagerly.
"Well... Lots of kind. One that would try to bring me down through mean comments. One even showed up at my fansign and ripped the signature I gave her." He said casually, sipping his warm tea. He then noticed sympathize look from Nicole and Dongwoon. He chuckled softly in response. "You guys have antifans too. Don't look at me like that."
"Well... That's true." Dongwoon admitted and scratched the back of his head with a sheepish look.
"How do you handle that?" Mir kept on the tract of his question.
The serious expression Mir bore as he was asking those questions was taking them a back slightly. But, Woohyun answered anyhow. "Well... I just signed her another one and turned to my next fan."
Mir leaned back on his seat. "You're strong." He commented under his breath so only he could hear. Woohyun was really strong. Could he ever be that strong?
@@@@@
Mir stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. He supported half of his weight by holding onto the sink. His tears were wetting his flushed cheeks. He couldn't control them. He couldn't even wipe them away as looked towards a torn open envelope he just received containing a picture of his noona. A picture of Eunah sleeping in her room.
He took the short letter given together with the picture and scanned the red words written on the letters once again. Maybe blood. Maybe just paint. But that wasn't what worrying him.
Look at how cute her sleeping face is. She didn't even realize how I was so close to her. And I could easily slit right there.
Now you know how easily I can harm her. But I won't. I won't if you listen to me. It's either her or you. Stop being an eyesore and just die already. Die! This world doesn't need someone like you.
J
The paper crumpled in his tight shaky hold and used his fist to slam it hard on the sink, ignoring the shooting pain on his hand. It was either him or Eunah. Lots of things went through his mind. But one particular question echoed loudly in his thoughts. What had he done to deserve this? As his thoughts choked him, another thought went to surface. This wasn't just any normal case of antifan... Someone that hate him this much... Personal grudge...?
Mir inhaled deeply and cleared his thoughts. He had enough of this. If he was hated so much, why should he keep living? If someone wanted him to die so much, then why should he keep fighting. He was hated. He was unneeded. Him living would only harm people around him. Harm the ones he cared and loved more than himself. Maybe. Just maybe... It was better for him to just... Disappear...
@@@@@
A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he saw GO was walking ahead of him with slumped shoulders. It had been hard for them these days. Netizens' reaction to MBLAQ break up wasn't helping either. Seungho just silently followed his friend from behind until they reached the front door to their dorm.
"Hmm?" GO hummed confusedly when he opened the door. He though Mir was home but he was welcomed by a dark room instead. He looked over to his watch. It was quite late already...
"What is it?" Seungho asked when GO was blocking his way at the front door.
GO moved into the space of their home, giving way to Seungho. "Ani... I think Mir is still out."
Seungho frowned and like GO, his eyes automatically trailed down to his watch around his wrist. "It's late already." He voiced out what was bothering GO.
It was really rare for the maknae to go out until late hour. Too rare that they were a bit concerned. Seungho then checked his phone because on this rare time of maknae going out late, Mir never failed to inform him first, directly or indirectly. Seeing as there was no text from maknae, he resorted to call the younger.
Seungho blinked and looked over worried GO when his call was unanswered. "He's not answering."
"Should we be worried?"
Seungho exhaled. He thought back for a moment. Mir had been much more quiet these days. They weren't that much different either. This whole thing with Joon and Sanghyun... Ugh! He really didn't want to think about them.
"Seungho. Are you okay?" GO asked, concerned, his hand on Seungho's shoulder.
"Huh? Yea. Maybe Cheolyong just out with his friends. You know... Things had been a bit stressing these days."
GO nodded, agreeing with the leader. He hadn't considered how Mir was feeling about all this since Mir never really showed any emotion over Joon and Sanghyun leaving. Unlike Seungho and GO, it was rather hard to tell whether Mir was mad or sad or accepting on this issue. But, seeing how Mir never actively involved in those many fights between Seungho-GO and Joon-Sanghyun, he thought it was safe to assume Mir was neutral with all of this. Mir comforted them. Of course. But he was pretty sure Mir had comforted the two former members as well. That boy just wanted everyone to be okay.
GO shook his head and a small smile tugged on his lips. He was overthinking this. And overthinking wasn't good for him. Not for this period of time. Glancing at the front door a bit, he went back into his own secluded room while Seungho to his own.
Comments