Mir sat on the edge of the bed. He had been moved to the Seoul hospital. His eyes were fixed on Jiyeon's smiling picture in the pendant. Weird,Mir thought... He could only remember sweet memories between him and Jiyeon. Memories full of love, smile and laughter. Happiness. Bliss. But... If they were that happy. If this full fluffy love he felt right now was real, why were they separated? He knew he loved Jiyeon. Ani. He still loves her. Yet...

Yet...

Mir put his hand over his chest. Why was this intense pain kept torturing him. Smothering him. He couldn't breath. His chest felt tight. He felt something missing. Her... Yes, her...

Eunah said she left him. Eunah said they had broken up and had never met for six years, then why? Why was his memories on her so vivid? Memories on their blissful love. And he knew well the suffocating feeling in him. It was missing. It was longing. For her.

Mir glanced at Seungho who was busy peeling and cutting the fruits for him to eat in silence. Putting the necklace around his wrist like a bracelet, Mir reached for another fruit knife to help Seungho only to jumped back when Seungho snatched it away from his hand. The older's move was as fast as the wind as the older watched Mir with wide horror eyes.

"What are you trying to do?" There was fear lacing Seungho's voice as his grip on the knife tightened, bringing the blade out of Mir's reach.

Mir blinked. His eyes flickered from Seungho to the knife and finally to his own bandaged wrist.

Oh. No wonder...

"I'm sorry..." Mir mumbled, looking down on his laps. "I-I was just trying to help you peel the fruit." Mir glanced at Seungho through his bangs. Biting his lips in guilt. He felt he needed to apologize somehow.

Frowning, Seungho pulled his chair closer until he was right in front of Mir who still sitting on the bed. The older pressed his thumb on Mir's chin, to stop Mir from chewing on his lip. "Even biting on your lip worry me." The leader sighed. It seemed like he had became paranoid. He was making his way into being an overprotective father. But, he bet, it wasn't only him. Eunah and GO would definitely act the same as him.

"I'm sorry."

Smiling tiredly, Seungho grabbed Mir's hand. "Everything will be fine again. Right?"

However, Mir couldn't nod to that question. Would everything be fine again? He was in a strange world. Everything was new to him. He knew no one. And the only one he could recognize wasn't here. He felt alone... And truthfully, he was alone. Though they were here for him. Though they were always here for him... Yet... He still felt lonely. They were still strangers.

Mir saw how Seungho put the fruit knife into his jacket. Mir somehow knew if it was up to Seungho, the leader would have took away every single sharp potentially dangerous item away from Mir including Mir's own teeth if he could.

"Here. Eat this." Seungho put a plate of neatly cut apples and oranges on Mir's laps. Mir nodded and started eating silently, trying his hardest to pretend he didn't notice how Seungho's eyes were never leaving him.

A knock on the door and both men looked up to see Sanghyun strolling into the ward room with a bag in his hand. A smile on his face as their eyes locked.

"You're here. Did you bring them?" Seungho asked, standing up.

Sanghyun nodded and held up the bag. "All in here." He put the bag at the edge of the hospital bed. He took it to him to pat Mir's raven hair and smiled sadly at the awkward smile Mir was flashing him and the way Mir flinched away from his small show of affection. He couldn't blame Mir. Him and the others now were only strangers in Mir's eyes. He still remembered that night when Joon had captured one of Mir's kidnappers, that buffy man had repeatedly said that Mir has gone with insane laugh. And true it was. Mir had gone. Mir was here but Mir had gone. The old Mir had gone along with the memories they used to share.

"Where's Changsun?" Seungho asked while rummaging through the bag. Mir was leaning close to Seungho, curious on the contents of the bag.

"He's with the doctor to change his bandage." Sanghyun replied easily, sitting next to Mir on the bed. He watched as Seungho took out a few of Mir's favourite mangas and some clothes. "In case you get bored and that clothes if you don't feel comfortable in this hospital clothes." Sanghyun answered Mir's silent question. "They are your favourite." He added.

Mir blinked and flipped through the book. "My favourite?" He asked more to himself. So... He loved this kind of thing. Mir finished flipping through the mangas and didn't look too happy as a light frown made its way to his face. "Is... Changsun-shi hurt?" He finally voiced out what had been bothering him. He looked up alternately between Seungho and Sanghyun, expecting answer.

"Yea... A bit..." Seungho muttered. He wasn't completely sure it was a good idea to tell the maknae on why or how Joon got hurt. Knowing the maknae, though the boy had lost his memories, he was more than sure Mir would blame himself. And it wouldn't be a help to Mir's condition.

"Cheolyong-ah. Can't you call us hyung?" Sanghyun suddenly requested with a smile and hopeful look. Mir hadn't called them hyung since Mir lost his memories. The maknae had called them using formality. As if talking to someone he wasn't accustomed with. Only Eunah had succeeded in making Mir called her noona. And seemingly Mir was a bit fond of Eunah and was more friendly. Of course. They were blood related after all. Unlike them.

Mir flinched back. But he tried anyway. "Hyung." He whispered, feeling how the word rolled off his tongue quite easily. "Hyung." He tried again, feeling his head slightly pounding. What was this?

"Cheolyong?" Seungho called out when he saw Mir was getting pale and the boy was clutching on his hair. Concerned, he sat on Mir's other side and grab a hold on Mir's shoulder. "Do I have to call the doctor?" He asked and tried to ignore the pang on his chest when Mir subtly moved away from his hold, looking uncomfortable. Mir wasn't comfortable with any of them. Not anymore. Mir was distant. Mir wasn't really Mir. His maknae. Their maknae. To this new Mir, he was no longer his hyung. No longer his leader. Just a stranger he couldn't recognize.

Mir shook his head, swaying a bit when dark spots covered his sight and he felt his weak body fall behind into the air. It felt like he was hanging with no ground holding him up until he heard distant voice echoing in his ears and felt arm around his back shaking him slightly.

"Cheolyong! Cheolyong-ah? Sanghyun! Go and call doctor!"

Mir shook his head, clearing his vision and pulled on the end of Sanghyun's jacket when he saw the older getting up from the bed, to do just as Seungho had ordered him.

"I'm just a bit dizzy." Mir said in a tiny voice that Seungho had to lean closer to listen. "I need some fresh air." Mir continued and pulled away once his vision was clear again.

Seungho reluctantly let the maknae go but his hands still hung in the air around Mir just in case the maknae collapsed again. Mir stood up slowly, taking his time to make sure he was strong and stable enough to step forward.

"Where're you going?" Sanghyun asked, him too was opening his arms, preparing for any possibilities of Mir falling down. When Mir wobbled to the right, both Seungho and Sanghyun jumped up and tried to catch the swaying figure. But Mir didn't collapse. His steps were unsteady but he was still standing on his own two feet.

Taking a few more steps ahead with Seungho and Sanghyun following close behind, Mir finally answered. "I'm going to the roof for a bit. I need some air." He repeated leaving a hint he wanted a lone time for himself and leave with small slow steps. He was still limping. His ankle which was bounded by metal chains when he was captured, still hurt and sharp pain stabbed his flesh, burning, throbbing when he put even a little bit pressure. But he still dragged himself. He couldn't breath here. He need to breath. He need to feel even slightly less suffocated.

@@@@@

He inhaled deeply before exhaling a long relieved breath once he was on the rooftop of the tall hospital bulding. Finally... He felt better even just a tad. It wasn't that he hated those people who obviously worried for him. Took care of him. Love him. But... He had to say he was a bit burderned.

Though they never said anything to him, but Mir knew. Mir saw the look in their eyes. They wanted Mir to remember. But he couldn't. Mir had tried. His head was just... Empty. And it just made him felt like a heavy load was sitting on him. Crushing him. He felt guilty for forgetting everything. For forgetting them.

Mir walked closer to the rail but stopped when he saw a bench located in the middle of the open roof. Feeling how his ankle still throbbing and burning in pain, he chosed to sit. Yet he didn't even managed to walk even three steps closer when white sparkles bleached his vision. His head felt like splitting into two. Grunting, Mir fall on his knees, holding his head as a new memories played like a video in the back of his eyes.

mir didn't gain back full memories yet. Only memories about Jiyeon