[Now]

All the memories I've had with JeongHan replayed in my mind and now..After a years..JeongHan came back to Korea.bringing his new American girlfriend.I swear she's better than me.I asked JeongHan to met up at our usual cafe.Thank god he's not changing his number and email.

Now.I stand before him with hands folded uncertainly, my eyes wandering anywhere but his face. It has been over a year since I last saw him, since that kiss that I never thought would be our last. It has been over a year since the day I got that phone call, the day that this boy's words broke my heart.

 

"I have a question for you," I say quietly, my voice wavering at the end of the simple sentence. I did not think it would be so hard to speak but he is right here, tall and brown eyed and exactly how I remember him, but the one difference is that he is no longer mine.He's now another girl boyfriend. I cannot ruffle that long brown hair; I cannot wrap my arms around that neck; I cannot do anything.

 

"What is it?"JeongHan asks.

 

My fingers twist together painfully, as if attempting to bring me back to reality with the discomfort. It works, anyway: somehow I make myself breathe, and I force myself to finish what I've foolishly begun.

 

"I know you'll never agree to this," I say, closing my eyes tightly, the words tumbling from my lips like broken glass, "so I don't even know why I'm asking. It's pointless, really, I shouldn't even think I can ask this of you. Never mind, just forget I said anything. It doesn't matter ______(Y/N)"

 

JeongHan says my name softly, stopping the torrent of jumbled words, and when I open my eyes again, his dark brown eyes are sad. "Just tell me what it is."

 

I can feel heat rushing to my ears involuntarily, but there is no tremor in my voice as I say, "I wanted to ask you if I could have one last kiss."

 

The tension in the air is tangible, thick and heavy, and JeongHan wears a look of shock not unlike the one he had when I first told him I loved him. "Um… I – I guess," he says finally.

 

What? I blink rapidly, not having expected such a quick agreement. "R-really?"

 

He doesn't say anything else, barely looking at me. I'm afraid he's already regretting his choice, and so I step forward, closing the few feet between us. Even being this close to him makes my heart ache with longing, but I will go through with this. I have to.

 

I lean forward and kiss him gently. Only our lips touch, and he doesn't move at all, but it is a kiss nonetheless.

 

And suddenly it is not enough, and I'm stepping closer and pressing my mouth to his harder and threading my fingers through his hair, and my shoulders are shaking and it's still not enough. It will never be enough.

 

JeongHan hands are on my hips and I think he will kiss me back but he pushes me away, and I realize that there are tears in my eyes and streaking down my cheeks. I slide my hands out of his hair and stand back, cheeks flushed, breathless.

 

"I'm sorry," I say.

 

JeongHan shakes his head. "It's okay," he says, barely audible.

 

I drag the heel of my palm roughly across my cheek, wiping away the tears that won't stop falling. I am sorry but I do not regret anything; the last kiss should have been like that, so very different from the first.

 

"Thank you," I say.

 

"For what?"

 

A silent sob makes my body flinch, but I smile at him despite my sorrow. "For being the best part of my life, if only for a little while."and with that last.I walked away leaving JeongHan alone.

"I'm Sorry.I've hurt you"