Throughout the day, I passed by the foreign student many times. His rude behavior shocked me but made me more interested in him. No one has seen through my mask before. I’ve gone this far with this fake smile--this fake life I’m living. I wasn’t ready to let one person ruin the reputation I’ve created only to bring me back to my miserable life.

The bell suddenly rang, marking the end of the school day. I was too focused on thinking of a way to bring the man back under my control and resulted in not hearing it.

“Y-Youngji...what’s with that glare on your face?” Hara asked, her doll-like features tensing up into a concerned look. She was hovering over me, holding her backpack. Suddenly, I heard some whispers and chatter around the class, all eyes were on me. I realized that I must have planned it so hard that my face returned back to its pathetic state.

“Ah...sorry!” I controlled myself and smiled brightly again. “I must be thinking too hard, the lesson today was hard!” I realized my excuse was stupid but they were all naive and believed me.

“It was because of that stupid transfer student! It’s not your fault Youngji, he was just rude!” a random classmate chimed in. Soon, everyone else agreed and kept yelling encouragements.

Why didn’t I get supporters when I needed it the most?

I tried to push back the memories and managed to continue smiling. I thanked everyone and bowed many times.

“You have to give him a tour around the school now, right?” Hara still looked concerned as before. I sighed internally but nodded eagerly in real life. I quickly packed all my things and ran away, waving at the classroom. I heard a lot of students yelling Fighting! as I got out.

As soon as I arrived to the back of the school, I wiped off my smile and sat on a log. I looked down at my lap as I waited for the boy to come in order to start the tour. After about half an hour, he still didn’t show up so I decided to leave. I stood up and suddenly saw a figure in the distance walking towards my direction. My face automatically twisted into the most genuine smile I could muster and waited for him.

He still had a grimace plastered on his face and seemed like he didn’t want to be near me. The first meeting was only a glance before I almost lost my temper. But now I could clearly see that he was very handsome. Slightly shorter than everyone else at school, but his face stood out the most. From what I’ve learned, good-looking people are the ones who take advantage of others the most. First-hand experience. I kept my guard up and smiled as I began to speak.

“Hi! Let’s start here so when finish, we will be at the front gate!” I said cheerily, fiddling with my thumbs behind me from fear. My heartbeat began to pound harder against my chest as I hoped he would stop glaring at me.

“‘Kay.” he said in English with a curt nod. He didn’t seem to be too interested in the tour as I took him around. Or rather, he seemed more interested in staring at me as I talked. It scared me and I felt like he could see through me. I was starting to break and panic as we reach the top of the stairs.

“Here is the roof!” my voice cracked loudly. I was done for. I stood in front of him awkwardly waiting for him to interrogate me. After a series of silence, I tried to break the tension and accidentally yelled instead of speaking calmly.

“BY THE WAY, I DON’T KNOW YOUR NAME. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?” My heart began beating faster again. I was certain he could hear it.

Instead, he burst out laughing as we walked out to the roof. I became confused. Why are you laughing?

-Flashback-

“What are you guys laughing about?” Youngji bounced over to the bulletin board with a smile. All the other kids continued giggling and some laughed even harder. They moved aside and she realized it was her. They were laughing at her. The picture showed Youngji falling mid-air as several people were pointing in the back. She had a distorted face and there were doodles of clown characteristics on her face.

Then they proceeded to push her down and spit on her while she squirmed in pain. They made sure she knew not to talk them again as they repeatedly kicked her.

Why do I try?

-Flashback END-

“It’s...it’s just…” he tried to speak but couldn’t stop his laughter.