8. Pillow Talks 

With each minute that passed by, Kwon Jiyong was showing Park Sandara new sides of him, that she hadn’t seen before and that he himself wasn’t aware of having. He was caressing her hair, her cheeks and kissing on top of her head, only to soothe her body into sleep, but she was not able to sleep even after all the exhaustion. The girl was traumatized beyond belief and clung onto him the whole time.

Every time she closed her eyes, the faces of those men would haunt her, only to make her open those soaked eyes in shock, cringe into her saviour’s chest, so that he would tighten his arms around her, and remind her that she was safe. 

“You want me to switch off the lights?”  He asked gently, trying not to scare the girl with his voice.

She nodded, because her eyes were hurting because of the light, and the pain would possibly be erased if he turned them off, so he stood up and proceeded to make the entire room completely dark, before making his way back and taking her in his arms. He wanted to be close to her, just as much as she wanted to be close to him.

Sandara placed one of her trembling hands over his heart and felt it beat really fast, almost as fast as her own. Since her head was leaned on his chest, she could also hear the sound of his heart, and that made her very much comfortable. Listening to him breathe and his heart beat, made her want to not let go of him, even if that meant hurting herself and breaking her parents’ norms of no contact with the opposite before marriage.

“Jiyong?” She would ask every ten minutes, to assure herself that he was still here, since his body stayed still and made no movement. Only then, would he start caressing her hair again and prove that he hadn't gone anywhere. Hour after hour passed by just like that and then her eyes finally started to fall down slowly, resisting the protest against sleep. 

Just when sleep was about to consume her wholly, unsolved troubles started disturbing her unhealed mind. Those men. Those three men, they were about to snatch everything from her. What if they had succeeded? She was sure she’d be in a blood bath by now if that had been the case.

“They wanted to me,” She whispered more to herself than to anybody else.

“Shh….” He tried quietening her, because he was in no mood to be reminded of those bastards again. The image of them touching what was to become his, was not at all pleasing. Pictures of filthy creatures sticking their into places meant for him only, made him want to break the wall he was currently leaning on.

Gosh, he was so angry.

“They ripped my clothes” It was like she was recalling everything that had happened in the blur of the terrifying moment.

Jiyong’s jaw clenched, he too couldn’t help but think of it now that she was so openly reminding him of that sight.

“He hit me,” Several times, both continued in their minds. Jiyong too had hit a lot of people, but never an innocent woman, so that act had totally set him on the edge. He had watched the fatty backhand her rose red cheek with such a strength that her entire body had spun and at the last point landed in his arms. Oh, how he had wished to break those hands that had hurt cheeks meant to be rubbed and kissed only - those cheeks he wanted to with his fingertips and run his tongue along.

“Forget it.” It was a command. But she wouldn’t forget. Couldn’t.

“What if you haven’t come on time?” Sandara whispered out in the cold air and thought to herself afterwards. They’d probably rip her inner walls in pieces and leave her alone to die. Then somebody would’ve find her and called the ambulance. Afterwards, the doctors would’ve wondered what exactly had happened and called the police. Then the police officers would have called the campus, and campus authorities would’ve informed her parents. And her father would totally blame her and think that she had done something or worn clothes to provoke her assaulters. She could already see her brother fighting for her- with her, against their cruel man of a parent.

“Don’t think about it. It’s over.”

No it wasn’t over. She was sure she was going to carry the memory for the rest of her life.

“It was so close….” Only seconds away. In half a minute they could’ve ripped open her jeans and have her on her knees and arms, cheek pressed to the cold gravel and bottom in the air.

So close. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her tears were building up again.

“I got you,” Jiyong held her close as she cried over and over again, soaked his sweater and fisted his sleeves in her hands.

“Sleep sweet Dara,”

She closed her eyes, but then the image of him holding a gun popped up in her mind, and she snapped her eyes open as an instinct.

“You shot them,” Dara murmured in disbelief, thinking of how the men’s jeans had been soaked with blood and how they had cried out as if they were wounded animals.

“Sleep Dara,” There was more firmness in his tone this time. He didn’t want any questions or discussion at that moment.

“You have a gun all the time,” The girl recalled each and every time the two of them had met. He had been carrying a gun almost all of the times; When they first met in the forest, when he broke into her dorm, and now when he had punctured her assaulters’ junks. “Why do you have a gun Jiyong?” It was a question out of curiosity, of confusion and fear. Who was he? Why does he always carry this weapon? Is he someone she needs to be aware of?

Jiyong didn’t answer her question. He wasn’t about to.

“Why?” She pressed again, desperate and in need of knowing the truth of his identity.

“Sleep!”

Dara shook her head stubbornly, but her voice was surprisingly calm and showed no hint of irritation and impatience what so ever. “Why do you have a gun?”

“That’s none of your business,” His reply was clipped and sharp, and it made her flinch.

“Tell me,” She continued insisting, needing to know his reason of carrying this call of death.

“Don’t with me Sandara,” He told her in an angry voice- suddenly he was back to his old self. “I’ve had loads on my plate today, so don’t with me, and go to sleep.”

He was telling her his day had been bad? What about hers? It was her who was millimetres close to being ! How dare he talk to her like that?!

Dara scrambled away from him- her bottom landing on the soft and fluffy mattress, and when Jiyong tried reaching out to her in the darkness- she slapped his hands away and tried getting onto her feet; Dissapointed and angry. Hurt and underestimated.

“What the are you doing?” Jiyong raised his voice and tried to pull her back to him when she started crying in the highest pitch of voices.

He should’ve known. He should understand that physical strength was nothing she could handle right now. It reminded her too much of what had happened earlier.

Jiyong’s heart softened at the sound of her cries and he pulled his hands back in awareness.

“It’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you, okay?”

He was hurting her already. Not with his strength, but the cruel things his nasty mouth was uttering.

“Come here,” The mobster asked of her gently and opened his arms as an invitation.

Invitation was denied, she was rooted to her place as she cried into her hands.

“Dara…..” He sighed tiredly and rubbed his temples. Maybe it was his fault that he had yelled at her over nothing. “Come baby, I won’t hurt you.”

The moonlight shone on his face and she she saw the sincere mask he was wearing, but still shook her head into a no and started fiddling with her hands. “I want to go home,”

“That’s not a smart idea,” Jiyong bit out, he was sure she’d have nightmares all night and scream into the dark alone. She needed somebody, anybody. And that anybody would have to be him- who had witnessed her trauma.

“I don’t want to be here with you,” The girl dared herself to declare, although it was half lie. She didn’t want to go home to an empty dorm, but then again- he was hurting her heart and it was best if she left.

“Why not?”

“You’re hiding things from me, and you’re mean.”

“I’m not hiding anything Dara,” He was, but those were none of her business. She wasn’t going to be involved in his illegal and criminal affairs.

“Yes you are!” Dara accused and glared with all the courage she could muster. “Tell me why do you have a gun?”

“It’s for protection,” He thought he could get away with saying that, but Dara proved him wrong by opening right after.

“Protection from what?”

Now that was nothing he was ready to reply to. “Come here Dara.”

“Protection from what?” Dara repeated once more, because she was so close to an explanation, and wasn’t going to give up this easily.

“I said,” The mobster bit out in his most stern and irritated voice, “Come. Here.” It was a demand, a command and a warning – she could hear that, because he had used that tone many times with her already.

“Don’t command me.”  She gritted out in rage, too sick of what had happened earlier, and he was only adding to her frustration by ordering her as if he was the Caesar and she his mistress.

“I’m trying to help you,”

“Then tell me why you have a gun!”

“Why do you care?”

Sandara shrugged as if that was the most fitting thing to do. “It’s of importance.” I need to know how you could’ve just shot three people without a care in the world. Without worrying about the authorities. And how had he even managed to slip through the cops’ hands after her file against him?

“Come. Here.” He was having no of her demands of explanation.

Sandara heard the warning in his voice, and for a second she considered storming out of the room, but then decided against it, since there was no way she had any courage to walk alone, let alone at this time of the night.

“Last chance,” He told her when she so stubbornly planted her bottom on the far side of the room.

No, there was no way she was giving into him. She scoffed loudly, he was warning her as if he had readied a punishment if she was to disobey.

She heard a shuffle and panicked! He was actually doing some kind of movement to get to her, and she thought about hiding somewhere-anywhere. But she had to be real: There was no hiding space, and it wasn’t like she was going to leave the place without Jiyong. She didn’t dare to, and hence decided maybe she could play the vulnerable and obedient card and have him shed some light on the unknown part of his life.

Sandara stood to her feet, and Jiyong watched her frame wa