I am writing this on this really small window of time when I should work on another essay... which I have so little time for... but whatever, I am a whimsical creature which in my dictionary (which is of course better than oxford) mean that there is magic in whims and freedom in thought. This is my thoughts about Dara (who I love) and the ual innuendos in the recent AON performances.

Now I know I might offend people, Daralings, friends, none-friends... and just people in general, and at the forefront I apologize. This is (le gasp, cut of my tongue and feed to a dinosaur) only an opinion, and I still love Dara more than chocolates, which I really, really love... you know?

"Don't be fooled by her baby face, because she's a bad girl."

This was the tagline given to her for Fire which was the establishing image for 2ne1. Bad girl. Now being in the idol industry meant that she had to have a framework of a personality we, the audience, idolize. And for Dara, it's her innocence, and weirdness, mated with this aura of class, and beauty. This is how I see her. The idolization of the female entity. She could be fierce and cool, but always beautiful, always someone I chose to love... I guess this is where I admit that I am as much of a er to the idolatry as the next fool. I like Dara, to the extreme, maybe I am gay for her... but that's beside the point.

I have no problems with her image for Crush. I like the weird slicked up hair for happy, the girl next door vibe for half of CBH, then the virtual almost CG effect of the other half. My girl is fanatstic... I kinda want her to step on my head and use me us rug... you know.. that kind of thing. Then AON comes out in bursts of fanvideos and I hate on people who criticize her on pigtail mini-braids. Because guys, off, she can do whatever she wants. Besides, she's cute. Hahaha.

But then... the fanvids for I love you come out and... well, it's not like she hasn't done this before. I mean she has, for Kiss, a little more tame, but back then I was already disturbed. Fan service.

Now... this... kind of .

I mean, it's not really a . I've seen those, been through some. It's not that racy. I get it.

But this makes me wonder why she has to do it in the first place. Why?

Because 1) sells.

2) Because the female fans of 2ne1 are the type to go Dom. They want to take charge of their uality.

I get that. I do...

I just wished that Dara was not the outlet of it.

There's this circulating pictures of her as she was bent over in the choreography of some song. Her . And we celebrate this... and it's weird. Why are you doing this to her? I hate it.

Shouldn't a woman be more than her ?

I have always thought 2ne1 as exemptional female artist even though I do not like pop. I thought they had a definitive female charm in them. That they could be y in the implied sense even without displaying it. I don't know.

I'm not saying it's wrong or . Just... that I find it disturbing.

is... a touchy issue... and I do know I write ... and hahaha. I wish there was something deep commentary about in my stories but truly, are they not, at least half of it, device?

What? I am actually very tired... I must not be making sense.

I am just trying to understand this... her...

I am not being conservative since we all know I'm not. I am just against as a show...

And for people who say at least their adults, this actually makes me question their acts more, Adults who are looked at as the epitome of womanhood. They have girl fans. Are they... saying it's okay to misbehave? What they are leaving out are they have security with them, the men strictly instructed to not touch.

I don't know. I never really know anything.

I just... maybe I should stop watching AON.