I'm writing (i.e. failing miserably and trying to not kill myself by banging my head on the corner of this table :))) and... I feel like I should just sleep. TAT TAT TAT. I have 200 opening lines and none of them is working. This is of course like straining a really big idea and yeah... I am in so much pain right now, I can just die. But ugh. Life. Why is it so hard?

I... can't even. ;A;

So.... I decided to have some stress relief before I give up on living and well... everyone knows this has got to be TAHP.

Because TAHP is beautiful and I love him and why can't I just write about TOP ruining my life but making me happy. He's like my scopolamine. Hahaha. Please. Ugh. I hope I can write something.

bkjdfhdghg TOP slightly talking about .

Hahaha. Sevvy should be there and pry at this kernel of golden information.

So... you're into... missionary?

I can work with that.

Actually... experimentation is nothing y... you know um.

But this aside, I like hard things too. Not the erted connotation, okay. But that too?

I CAN'T GET TIRED OF YOU, YOU ARE SEVVU'S OASIS. TAT

I can't with this interview. OTL

/laughing

/dying

Ugh. Youuuuu.

I...

Are we talking about again. soft and tender is nice, skillful and firm though... rvejagvdfkgagd

Okay... below is a compilation of the interview translation and photos... I will just spazz now. :p

Oh gad. this photo.

CHOI SEUNGHYUN x W KOREA MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 ISSUE

TOP W Korea: I think I still have a heart like Peter Pan’s. I like showing more pure sides of a teenager than acting for an adult characte. Rather than using my head, I go by my senses.

(Hahaha. Interestingly I'm writing about Tinkerbell. We're soulmates. I love you. /shot)

Q: Is GD the type who uses his head?

TOP: Jiyong just does many things randomly. (HAHAHAHAHA. <333)

TOP: Since my character in the movie (Alumni/The Commitment) was someone who is having an identity crisis, I got sensitive too.

TOP W: After the movie shooting, our members finally told me that I was so sensitive during tours that they couldn’t even dare to talk to me (T^T)

TOP W: I think if I show myself too much ppl will get sick of me easily. So I always try to change & show my better side. It’s like a trick.

TOP W: Being a celeb is like dating. Don’t u get sick of someone if u meet them too long or too often? So I try not to show too much of me.

TOP W: Keeping a distance with a lover will be hard. I’ll miss her. But I think I should keep it b/c I don’t want my lover to get sick of me

TOP W: I haven’t dated a lot so I don’t really know much but keeping a distance will prevent couples from fighting or making mistakes.

TOP: Many people tell me that my low voice is good but it’s not suitable for acting because it’s hard to articulate with such a low voice.

TOP W: To be honest, I was only a trainee for 1 year in YG. I was a hyung who communicated with Jiyong and Taeyang with hip hop music.

TOP W Korea: Rappers have a lot of time sitting alone, thinking and writing lyrics. From this I always felt unstable and insecure.

TOP W: When I look at myself from Bigbang’s first stage, I can tell that I’m trying too hard to look cool. So now I try to control things.

TOP W: My favorite actor right now is Ryan Gosling. He doesn’t have many lines in the movie but his controlled acting was powerful. (Ugh. Ryan Gosling is such a...  I don't even want to say. But I liked Blue Valentine. That was like me dying. ;A;)

TOP: I don’t like it when I can do something comfortably. I enjoy hard, painful things.

Q: Are you a ert? Just Kidding. (Laughs)

TOP W: I guess I have some erted sides since I like hard, painful works? But my ual preferences are not like that (Laughs)(I am just wondering how to have in a none erted way. Is that even possible? Can you teach sevvy? LOLOL. /dead)

Q: You must be very strict to yourself.

TOP: I think how celebrities work is similar to how they love. Even when I’m dating someone I always keep a distance to some degree. I always talk politely and don’t meet up often.

Q: What are you interested in nowadays other than working?

TOP: There’s not really anything now. I used to collect art toys but I graduated from doing that. My mom said there’s nowhere to put them anymore so she put them in my storage room and told me to stop.

TOP: Just like how Yves Saint Laurent had Pierre Berger as his partner, I have Charlie. He’s a cocker spaniel. When I die, he’ll put all my furnitures that I collected up for auction.

Q. what other BB members do these days?

TOP : I think fans know more than me.

Q: U didn’t look that mature even though u are the oldest in Bigbang. TOP: I try to be more comfortable with them & I think they like that.

TOP W: I always joke around. Even during movie shootings I dance in front of the camera. There will be a making film with Alumni photobook.

TOP W: I think it’s my instinct to have that Korean pride whenever I go overseas to do something.

TOP W: Foreigners say that Korean sounds stiff but I wanted to show how y Korean rap could sound by writing the lyrics for Bubble ./ TOP : when I wrote Bubble lyrics I wanted ppl to know Korean raps can be y. Actually the song is made 2 years ago. TOP : I was asked to collab “Bubble ” without any guide and subject. I’m proud of being a Korean, working in other countries

TOP W: When I’m working on music, I want to work on a movie and then when I’m working on a movie, I want to work on music.

TOP W Korea: Don’t girls like it when their boyfriend gives shoes with rings rather than giving just rings?

TOP W Korea Q: What do you think you’ll be when you’re 30? TOP: It’s just 3 years away… so I guess it’ll be the same from now?

TOP W: Now that i think about it, I think I used to be tender and soft 3 years ago and I think I now became more skillful and firm.

OP W: I liked collecting furnitures since long time ago and I will continue to collect them.

TOP W Korea: I like Tomford. I love Saint Laurant but I don’t think it suits my body type. I think Hedi Slimane is good too

Q. BIGBANG come back?

TOP : we should work on it but can not work now since we are too busy. Comeback date is not settled

Q. you said you would act 20s when you are in 30s?

 TOP : that’s a joke. if I can, I want to act old men with grandpa makeup even now.

- at BIFF, I didn’t hang out with many people since I’m shy but I went to a cart bar with LeeSooHyuk.

Q. I think characters of “Into The Fire” and “Alumni” have something in common.

TOP: both are boys. honestly I cling to teenagers? *laughs* I will act teenager roles as long as I can. and act 20s when I’m in my 30s.

TOP: After filming the movie, I got listless suddenly. so I just lay on bed, doing nothing from Jan to May

Schedules for movie shooting and BB world tour were killing me. I filmed the movie from Mon to Thur. and did World Tour on Fri ~ Sundays. I slept in planes. In the morning, I filmed scenes of killing people. and I performed hard in front of millions of people on weekends. I just lied on my bed for 4~5 months. I thought I might be ruined. at the time I needed to work on my solo album but couldn’t do anything. I went out on purpose to meet people on weekends. I felt myself going unsociable. after I finished filming movie. BIGBANG members ate dinner together and they said I looked so sensitive at World Tours.

tranlstation credits: Jacly (@ShrimpLJY) and Dana (@BIGBANGGisVIP)