Of Deep Red and Lifting Orange- nadumolla

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/407713/of-deep-red-and-lifting-orange-fluff-romance-exo-exok-kaisoo-slightangst

Title (9.5/10): As I saw your title, the first thing that came in my mind was ‘Sunset’. Your title was a spot-on, eye-catching and was screaming to be read. I had already the feeling that somehow, it was going to tear me apart and I was right. I’ll tell you more about that when I get on the plot.

Focusing on your title, I found it really creative and have this deep impression to you. The title was simple and totally ties down to the plot and contributes what is supposed to contribute. The title is definitely beautiful and somehow really gives of the feeling of angst to me.

Design (6.5/10): Let me go on with the genres first.

Genres: The genres are angst, sad, romance and slice of life. You did a great job in portraying them. You really did a great job in portraying them, but you could have left a deep impression to us, to our heart or probably soul, like the title. You could have given credit for your genres. Bring the genres out more than usual. It was quite descriptive, but you could have done better. You could have described it a bit more to leave a deep impression to us, but the way how you portray it, is beautiful.

Moving on to the poster, I wouldn’t break it down anymore, but I’ll give you what I think of your poster.

The poster was great, I admit, but it could have been better. Seeing that it somehow lacks the definition of vibe, it loses the ties with the title. Your title was ‘Of Deep Red and Lifting Orange’; I was expecting to see somehow the connection of it. Even if you don’t show the title, at least I could feel the aura, but I couldn’t. I was slightly anticipating anything that will relate to the title itself. Even a small portion of it, I was expecting it in the poster, but I couldn’t.

The hue was definitely a ‘no-no’, the pictures were okay, but could have been better, the set-up was okay plus the quotes, but the quotes could have been in a better place so is the set-up and the collision of everything could have been better.

As you could see, the poster lacks the definition of vibe that it gives to the readers. The impression it would make to the readers. Title, Design, Description and Plot ties down together with the Ending. Everything is important and so…yeah. You definitely know what I’m pointing out.

Your writing style is great, descriptive and poetic like. Your writing style suits the genres but you could have credited the genres a little bit more, but setting that aside, your writing style is splendid.

Mechanics [Spelling, Grammar, Structures] (14/15): There weren’t really errors, just few minor mistakes about punctuations, mostly comma, but other than that, nothing. The structure of your sentences is great and easy to speak. The grammar was fine and so was the spelling. The words that you chose were easy to digest in and not difficult. Your choices of word are simple, yet beautiful.

Plot (19/20): The plot was exquisite and beautiful. Heartbreakingly beautiful and bittersweet, the plot is really great. You’ve done a great job in constructing the plot-more scenes could have been better-and you did a great job in portraying how they lived their life and how they would take their death, if they would regret the path they chose or not.

Breathtakingly beautiful and completely a heart ache.

The originality of the plot is okay, even though I could have seen the tingling emotion that Jongin felt, it was understandable. I would call it typical, but seeing the pondering denials of Kyungsoo whether he liked or more likely loved the younger, made me think otherwise. Seeing that Kyungsoo died in a car accident and that Kai had this painful and worried feeling and quickly letting instinct and legs lead him there, it’s realistic. Really. How he couldn’t survive the accident and that Jongin took the toll of his death quite deadly to the point that one conversation they had throughout the conversations they had, haunts him down. It was really beautiful to see how Kai asks Kyungsoo that question. How Kyungsoo thought of the path he chose.

He didn’t regret it.

Realistic enough even though some parts where quite overused and the plot has somehow similarities with others, it is worth to say, you did a great job.

Characters (13/15): The characters are great. Kai was developed greatly and so does Kyungsoo, but a bit more scenes about them would be great, but aside from that, Kyungsoo’s personality and background was quite vague and so does Kai. You didn’t really point it out very much, but I could see the hints of who they are. It would be great if you could have detailed a bit more of whom they are. Seeing the scene were Kyungsoo’s mother and father are quite close to Kai, I took the conclusion where Kyungsoo had introduced Kai to them and that they had dates?

It was really a bit vague, but setting that aside, you played their roles greatly in the story.

Flow (9/10): The flow was fine, smooth like water. There are some parts that it’s somehow fast, but not really. I couldn’t point out what was missing or what was lacking, but there really was. Maybe it was the impression or was it the scenes? I couldn’t point it out very well, but there was really lacking.

The flow of words are fine and so were the development of the characters, but adding up a bit more scenes would be great to maintain the pace of the story, to give out more what is happening between them.

Overall Enjoyment (10/10): Very enjoyable, indeed, author-nim. I’m glad to have read your story. It was simple, yet bittersweet. You did a great job in making the one-shot. Even though it’s short, it was definitely beautiful. I enjoyed it very much.

Ending (10/10): The ending was deeply sweet and soothing to the soul. It was quite bitter sweet in the ending and that definitely wraps the whole story very well. You did a great job in making the ending that wrapped everything all together and didn’t leave anything behind. It ties down from the very start until the end and it gave out the rightful impression and emotions.

Overall: (92/100)= 91%

Extra Comments: Yo~ Cherry here! *waves hand* So, I’ve read your story for like 3 to 7 times? Uh…yeah…sorry about that ^^’ I just can’t enough hold of the angst you put in the story and I’m begging for more? Haha, ignore the sentence before, ehem. So thank you for requesting and I hope you’ll come back again!